For my Cypriot readers: A Venus-Neptune theatre recommendation

This isn't really an astrology-heavy offering, other than to mention that my Venus-Neptune trine was merrily zinging tonight because...

(... and this is the point of this post...)

... this evening I saw a wonderful, original Greek-language work by the extremely talented director Magdalena Zira, entitled Metamorphosis: a seven-actor ensemble piece created by Zira's original translation of Ovid's eponymous poetry, and performed at the Cyprus Theatre Organisation's (CTO's) Experimental Stage in Agios Andreas, Nicosia.

Usually I whinge and complain about the dearth of quality theatre in Cyprus, but this evening, my passion for the performing arts was well-sated. Indeed, I was very proud that the show was having its world premier in my home-town.

The set-design was beautiful, the ivory costumes stylised and striking, the young cast lithe and confident - having obviously benefitted from many hours of rehearsal under a sure directorial hand.

As for the material, the tales enacted are stories of transformation as the title suggests.

Yet what I found fascinating and timeless about the unifying theme was not so much the physical metamorphoses imaginatively brought to life by Zira and her team (here kudos also to the lighting designer and composer of the original score), but actually the protean, ever-in-flux and ultimately - often tragically - unstable nature of love itself.

Naturally, such instability exploited to the max by the capricious deities of the Greek pantheon who grace the stage much of the time.

Hence, if you enjoy theatre and have ever been provoked, moved or even simply entertained by classical Greek mythology, you are in for an utter treat.

I would have loved to have posted a link to rehearsal stills, but was mysteriously unable to find any (bar one tiny one) on CTO's website.

So, instead, I settled for a cropped version of John Williams Waterhouse's Echo and Narcissus which you can see above, at the start of this post.

(Having said that, I almost went for the more famous painting by Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio, which, if you're curious, can be found here.)

I repeat once again: for theatre-buff Nicosians and Cypriot readers in general... this show is not to be missed. As good as almost any (actually better) as I've seen Off-Broadway in dear old New York City.

More information about Metamorphosis' performance times and dates, (in Greek only) may be found here.



The image above was taken from this site.

Saturn square Pluto: Manifestation, spoon-bending and the manipulation (and destruction) of forms

I have Saturn square Pluto natally, which, according to the first astrology teacher I had, was also a planetary picture that featured in Carl Jung's birth chart, and is considered to be a shamanic configuration.

Now, I have, to date, no known natural aptitude for shamanic work. I don't spontaneously find myself transported into spirit worlds or have the ability to shape-shift or talk to plants or animals or retrieve pieces of someone's soul.

However, I am absolutely obsessed with the idea that it is possible to manipulate and reconfigure (Pluto) matter (Saturn) and step outside of time (Saturn again).

Especially with cosmic demolition ball Pluto in the sign of structure, foundation and boundaries - Capricorn.

And I do wonder whether the long-term transiting Saturn (in Libra) Pluto (in Capricorn) square will whip up to a new frenzy the blooming-like-algae 'mind over matter'/'law of attraction'/'manifest whatever you desire' communities on the internet.

Frankly, these days it seems every entrepreneurial/home business/self-employment page on the web works in references to bestseller The Secret or the wildly popular Abraham-Hicks material, both preaching the gospel of manifesting your heart's desires.

Not to mention, the proliferation of e-books, Youtube clips, audio classes, webinars, workshops and so forth claiming to develop your hitherto latent paranormal powers, such as psychokinesis and telepathy.

Now, I say 'claiming' not because I believe it isn't possible to manipulate matter - far from it - but because it is, till now, still to a large degree scientifically indefensible - or at the least, an area being investigated only at the peripheries of science, in the domain of quantum physics.

Personally, though, I believe the present transiting Saturn-Pluto square - particularly as it is the waning and, therefore, closing square of this cycle - will mark a significant breakthrough in establishing the malleability of form via thought in mainstream consciousness once and for all.

Let me leave you with an amateur clip on spoon-bending - a feat I believe is genuinely possible and which I hope to accomplish with enough practice myself one day. Enjoy.





The image above was taken from this site.

Debunking 2012 hysteria, courtesy of The New York Times

Seems the counter-reaction to the veritable tsunami of 2012 doomsaying now extends to the The New York Times, too. Click here for the latest. Oh, and... enjoy.   :D




The image above was taken from this site.

Light side of the Ninth: An astrological perspective

Well, here's part two for those who missed the first bit. The lighter or 'good' side of me.

It's funny, but I think I've actually been putting off writing this post. Had no problem going on about my evil-ness, but my good side is... I dunno, a bit embarrassing to speak of.

Still, better get on with it, for the sake of balance - something that might even bring a smile to sourpuss Saturn, currently in dignified Libra.

Firstly, I guess, there's that Sun-Jupiter conjunction in Pisces. It's a wide conjunction, but whenever I've had readings, the astrologer has considered me a Sol-Jupe kinda fella, and I think it fits well.

Essentially, I'm expansive when it comes to both beliefs and the magnanimity of the universe, and also in terms of my own desire to love all. (Do I succeed? Meh. It's varied, but the impetus is there).

In terms of being intoxicated with the broadest of idealistic horizons and a spiritual, all-encompassing love, I'm there.

And I have a big heart. On my good days. On the less good days, I feel as if I've swallowed the ocean and am totally lost in the supernova of spirit. To thoroughly mix my simile-metaphors.

Then there's that Venus-Neptune trine in fire (respectively Aries and Sagittarius). Can we say romantic? We can. Hopelessly, utterly, fatally romantic. If you want more of an elaboration, you can find it here in an earlier post.

Which basically means I adore beauty in all its forms - music, sculpture, poetry, painting, architecture, the human figure, all of the performing arts etc. - as long as it is inspiring (fire).

And I believe my exes, whatever else they may think of me now (and I'm grateful to say, these ladies are still friends) would attest to my love of the romantic gesture.

In short, I'm not the kind of guy who'll forget your birthday or neglect any of the niceties of courtship, tenderness and long-term devotion.

Also I have deep-rooted yen for courtesy and fairness.

Meanwhile, lurking in my sixth house are both Mars and Mercury in maverick Aquarius. Hence, I am both left-brained and right-brained: I've been cultivating an integration between the skills of the cerebral hemispheres for a long time now, and I believe I'm making progress.

So-called 'paranormal' abilities and energy healing are a few of my passions.

I'm the kind of person who'll entertain the zaniest (read: provocative) ideas, which sound, on the face of it, rather crazy. But I tend to be good at articulating the (il)logic behind 'em. And with Mercury in the sign of the humanitarian rebel, public speaking at any time, before any scale of audience, with or without prep, is like breathing to me.

As are writing, and speedily learning and integrating the latest spiritual, healing and technological advances. And I'm good with my hands, too (Mercury in the sixth).

Meanwhile, Virgo-rising, for all its anal nitpicking (that sounds rather unfortunate, but you catch my drift), makes me a fairly adept problem-solver. And good at sorting through the details.

Most of the time I even succeed in over-compensating for that lack of patience, too (Aquarius Mars in the sixth, square Scorpio Uranus in the third), by logically and methodically tackling needful (if boring) tasks.

Did I mention I like to be active all the time? Well, I do. I respect and take care of my health (though I wish I were more disciplined about cooking for myself) and to me that means fitness is key. I need to be in motion and tend to thrive if I can exercise intensely almost every day.

Hence, I'm a good person to have around if you need sustained, ignoring-the-pain-and-doing-it-anyway sort of energy. As long as there's a clear goal and the process isn't too mind-numbingly boring. I have a low boredom threshold.

Which also means I enjoy hard work (Aquarius Mars and Mercury in the sixth - as well as Capricorn Moon by its proximity to the sixth house cusp). In fact, I have workaholic tendencies. I sleep very poorly if I feel I'm not working hard enough. Though I am trying to break the pattern of deriving self-worth from the level of work I accomplish.

If you are my friend or a family member/loved one, I will be loyal and steadfast (Saturn in the 11th, Cappie Moon, Saturn square Venus) and take my responsibilities to you very seriously. I will strive always to do the right thing by you. Most of the time I will put your needs (and those of others generally) ahead of mine.

Again, with the current Saturn-Pluto square from my respective second to fifth houses, I am trying to find the balance between caring for my needs as well as others' in my significant personal and professional relationships.

And I'm creative (Moon in the fifth, Venus trine Neptune, Neptune square Sun, quintiles between Sun and MC, Mars and Venus) and, dare I say it, charismatic (Pluto opposition Venus, Uranus sextile Ascendant).

Acting, dancing, drawing, writing, directing, playing instruments come fairly easily to me.

To end on a Sun-Jupiter accent: I would describe myself as a servant king (Leo 12H, Virgo-rising), endowed with a rigorous creative, spiritual, intellectual and humanitarian drive, to put at the service of the collective.

And I strive to do just that, every day.



The image above was taken from this site.

Dark side of the Ninth: An astrological perspective

So. I promised you my dark side and I'm about to keep that promise.

Be warned, if you've enjoyed this blog thus far and built up an agreeable persona to go with it, you may rather dislike what follows. If so, I invite you to skip this post.

Alternatively you may decide to plunge ahead, after which you might shrug and say, "No big deal". Depends on what you consider 'dark' I guess.

Either way, to balance things out, I promise to cover my not-so-dark side in the subsequent post. Okay?

So, here we go:

Firstly, there's that terrible, terrible temper due to my Moon-Mars. To be precise, an out of sign conjunction with the Moon in Capricorn and Mars in Aquarius.

That Moon-Mars is squared by Uranus in Scorpio, and trine Lord of the Dead Pluto. What that amounts to is incredible volatility and touchiness and taking-offense-iveness, while keeping it all inside, super-human-ly under wraps until... someone pushes me just that little bit too much and...

.... KA-BOOOOOM !!!....

Not pretty. Not at all.

Then there's that Cappie moon. Can we say uber-ambitious? We can.

Super-ambitious, super-competitive, super-calculating, super-prestige-and-status-loving. Conjunct Mars, this driven Moon is never satisfied with my paltry mundane accomplishments.

It will only shut up if I earn some worldly distinction, or, better yet, build something that garners respect(ability) in society and outlives me. A visible legacy in other words.

And it's very jealous of threats to anything it considers its own: people, accomplishments, specialist knowledge; all professional or romantic 'assets' or advantages are always under heavy scrutiny, surveillance and security. It does not like to share.

Moon in Cap is also pessimistic as hell, and cautious to boot. No risk-taking here (though that Mars-Uranus square is dying for it). Only the bleakest views of the future are plausible or worth entertaining. And the sky's STILL going to fall on my head, dammit, no matter how well I prepare for disaster.

This same Moon, together with Saturn in Cancer make for a timorous combination. For all the fire-breathing tendencies on the one hand, on the other, there's a pathetic 'poor me' complex, with a generous lashing of victimhood, paranoia and infantile, don't-make-me-grow-up-ness.

Emotions with this Moon and this Saturn are a big no-no. If you're close to me and want to have a huge emotional meltdown in my presence, you will swiftly discover I've checked out. I hate drama (including my own). I hate those messy, messy "what are you feeling?" conversations.

Also, this Saturn remembers wounds and betrayals forever, whether I've forgiven the culpable party (which is often myself) or not.

Now I think about it, it's not much good at forgiving either. Lose my trust or betray me, and I'll either simply disappear from your life, or you'll be talking to a cold, polite cipher from here on out.

Further, this Saturn is squared by Pluto and also by Venus. Saturn-Pluto makes me absolutely ruthless at times. Saturn-Venus makes me a kill-joy partypooper at others. I'm not proud of it, but I don't really suffer excesses, indulgences, inadequacies, weaknesses, defeats or setbacks very well. First and foremost in myself.

At times when I've felt threatened or overwhelmed by adversaries or my back's been against the wall, that Saturn-Pluto has turned me into something of a Genghis Khan in terms of the sheer desire to annihilate threats and enemies.

When I'm that desperate, I'll charge an elephant, a bus, or a whole g-ddamn platoon. I'm actually really scared of the impetus toward violence that lies coiled within me, awakened at times of incredible duress. Violence and revenge. In my moments of true despair, I thirst for revenge on those who've hurt my heart. People I've loved who've seen fit to push me away.

More darkness?

Well, Pluto opposes my Venus-Chiron, so no matter how much I've battled against it, thus far my closest relationships have been fraught with power struggles. And I hate it. I hate the terror of rejection turning into covert or open attempts to control the very people I love.

To be fair, there's been a goodly amount of suffering on my part by loved ones controlling me - but this is just a mirror of my own repressed possessiveness, aggression and fear.

Finally, if there were ever a Pisces Sun-Jupiter with a Saviour/Chosen One complex, it is I, with this inclination amplified by an even more self-deluding Neptune squaring my Sun from the fourth house.

To whit, I have struggled with spiritual self-righteousness and pomposity all my life, not to mention the effortless ability to harshly judge others (and myself), courtesy of my Virgo-rising.

That's pretty much everything I can think of - or at least the highlights of the grand labyrinth that is my inner darkness. Not a lot to recommend itself so far, eh?

I understand.

But if you haven't decided I'm the devil incarnate and are willing to return for my next post, I promise you there's another, less off-putting side of the Ninth, too. Stay tuned.

[UPDATE: the follow-up, companion post is here.]

The image above was taken from this site.

The Astrology of 2012: The End of Days … or a Cosmic Call to Action?

Another salvo against the doomsdayers' version of 2012 - here's a great post from powerhouse astrologer Rick Levine.

Read and enjoy:

The Astrology of 2012: The End of Days … or a Cosmic Call to Action?

Reclaiming natal Saturn in Cancer

When I first began to study astrology, I was not exactly thrilled to discover that Saturn in my chart was in its detriment, in Cancer.

In fact, not only is Saturn - in my 11th house - in its detriment, but it forms the 'handle' of a bucket chart, through which all the other energies represented must find expression.

 At times, it's been a 'sore tooth' indeed.

Security-needing, anxious and overly-sensitive 11H Saturn in Cancer is the reminder of my early years in the shadow of a divorce and changes of residence; a symbol of the weakened position of my biological father in my life; a pointer to the deep unease and fear of social rejection due to 'not fitting in' at school or obeying the norms of career and life-path in the conservative country of my birth.

It is also a reminder of the weakened state of my birthplace - since Cyprus was invaded by Turkey in 1974, and is still, to this day, divided.

This particular Saturn also forms the 'leg' of a cardinal T-square, meaning in this case it is squared by Pluto in Libra and Venus in Aries, magnifying the levels of social unease, self-consciousness, anxiety and insecurity, and cranking up the need to control and protect myself whether in a group or one-to-one interactions.

Saturn is additionally retrograde, which, as the astrologer Lynn Hayes often points out, amplifies and internalizes the taskmaster voice of harsh self-criticism.

However.

I am now at a point where I acknowledge fear and insecurity to be truly a waste of my energy, as is the perception that this Saturn is irredeemable.

Hence, I have been trying to reclaim the so-called 'greater malefic's' power in a positive way, as part of a broader personal project of truly embracing, accepting and, dare I say it, loving, who I am. Flaws and all.

Among the things I've discovered during the process, is that this Saturn takes its family responsibilities very seriously.

This Saturn wants to be a wise and dedicated father - a strong, devoted head of a family, able to provide the resources for his dependents to thrive. Never belittling them, but rather guiding, supporting, protecting, cherishing and serving them.

Further, this Saturn wants to lead; to be an architect of an enlightened community; a clan-builder operating beyond the dictates of mere blood or national ties.

If this Saturn takes itself very seriously, it is because it is preparing for a time in which service to society will require laying down sure foundations, based on an expanded familial model, and free of the over-sentimentality and guilt that familiar loyalties can create.

Therefore, in the days to come, I want to take an unflinching look at myself, my core roots and identity, both the good and the bad, without repressing any associated feelings.

More than anything, I want to identify the defenses I assembled when I was little and slowly dismantle them. The current square to Capricorn Pluto can only be a boon to this process.

My next post will be all about the dark side of the Ninth. Stay tuned.

******

For those new to astrology, a good analysis of the meaning of Saturn in Cancer can be found in Jeff Jawer's excellent essay here.



The image above of Saturn Devouring One of His Sons by Goya was taken from this site.

Metaphysical makeovers & multiple healing modalities, aka Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron in Aquarius redux

Remember the three spiritual heavyweights that have been spending quality time together this year?

I mean Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron in Aquarius, the planetary combo other than the Saturn-Uranus opposition and Saturn-Pluto square that have been in the astrological headlines in 2009.

'member them?

Well, they're still hanging out in my sixth house. And as a Virgo rising, Mercury and Mars in Aquarius kind of fella, I've been undergoing something of a metaphysical makeover this year. Not to mention, an initiation into multiple healing modalities I hadn't hitherto encountered.

I've been experimenting with a variety of meditation techniques, as well as affirmations, mental/energetic reprogramming, new systems of illumination and also journalling my hopes and aspirations in an invitation to the universe to dance with me, with who I am.

I've also had some needful (to me) surgery back in February, trusting that the merry trio in my house of work and health would bring the necessary recuperative powers to my body. They certainly have, praise God.

Looking back now, on this November 11:11 energetic gate, if I compare my present to where I was at the beginning of this difficult and fairly painful year, it's like I'm living another lifetime, a different incarnation.

And with almost completely different people as my confidantes and friends.

During this process, I have made very little money and progress in my professional career. And I have lost what was dearest to me: the girl I thought was going to be my wife and life companion. Not least because my 'otherworldly' interests and concerns could never be shared by her. And certainly the combo of spiritually-inclined filmmaker was never going to amount to the good provider that she, sincerely and honestly, deserves.

However, I am choosing to look upon this Jupe-Neppy-Chiron progress through my sixth as a shamanic dismemberment of sorts. Presumably the universe will eventually put me back together. I sense it's already been doing so, though I guess time will make it easier to gauge by how much.

Incidentally, if you want to read a really good post on the process of 'splitting apart' from the Human Design point of view, you can find it on the blog of Kim Gould, a very talented HD practitioner.

But to go back to how I began this post:

Jupiter, Neptune and Chiron in unemotional but visionary Aquarius have certainly made it impossible not to heal, expand my faith and horizons and make more peace with my path this year.

For this I am very grateful, and whenever my heart fills with sorrow, I'm trying to open it anyway. I don't always succeed, but I know for sure my life is beautiful and the universe benevolent, wise and ultimately joyous. It's been a rich year.







The image above was taken from this site.

Saturn in Libra: Courtesy, or else...

Is it me? Or is the gentle art of bullying getting a lot of (negative) press lately?

Why, yes. Yes it is.

Unsurprising, giving Saturn's ingress into the genteel and harmony-lovin' sign of the Scales.

This morning, while I was joyously perusing a promising-sounding job ad in the pages of the very newspaper I currently proofread for, my eyes fell on a syndicated article from the London Evening Standard, titled: "Does your office have bad manners?"

The choicest paragraphs include the following:

Pearson and Porath began their research looking at incidents of employees killing their colleagues. From this extreme, they worked back to examine every kind of workplace slight to understand why some forms of incivility are taken seriously, such as sexual harassment, while others are not.

Common examples of incivility, they found, included taking credit for other people's work, passing blame, checking emails during meetings, talking down to or not listening to others, making derogatory remarks and avoiding people.

What may seem trivial examples of bad office manners, they found, had a serious effect on morale and staff retention. Serious enough to get the attention of the companies with whom they shared their findings.

Before becoming an academic, Porath worked for a sports management and marketing company and had observed first-hand how people were affected by the constant belittlements, insults and verbal digs that were considered part of the firm's culture. Her research confirmed her fears.

After a single incident of incivility, not including anything sexual or physical, 48 per cent of the hundreds surveyed decreased their effort at work, 38 per cent intentionally decreased the quality of their work, 80 per cent wasted time worrying about the incident, 66 per cent said their performance declined and 78 per cent said their commitment to the firm declined.

Twelve per cent said they had left a company because of uncivil treatment. For firms already struggling with motivating and retaining staff, the figures were staggering. Behaviour which was regarded as everyday was actually deeply damaging.

“A lot of people don't realise what they're doing at the time,” says Porath. “And as people move up in an organisation, they are treated less and less honestly by their staff, so they have no idea how bad they are.”

You'd think this kind of observation would not warrant a formal study. And yet. The ingress of Saturn into a sign seems, invariably, to bring to light that which has always been obvious, but barely observed.

Rude people suck. They are uncool. They hurt others.

Those who know me well, know one of my pet hates - and I do mean HATES - is incivility.

Politeness, courtesy, graciousness... in a word, CIVILITY, costs absolutely nothing. Yet with the frequency with which it's so often tossed to the side, you'd think it was the rarest, most ridiculously dear and arduous skill to acquire or cultivate.

Personally, my money's on Saturn in Libra making it very, very important to practice social graces, including gentility, over the next two-and-a-half years.

Or else.

Especially with that long-term square to ambitious Pluto in Capricorn. Want to harm your chances of getting ahead? Then continue to be an uncouth, ill-mannered boor.

The choice is yours.





The image above was taken from this site.

What's a ninth guy like you doing...?

Greetings all.

I've been gone from this blog a long time. A long time. And for those who were interested readers, I apologise both for the hiatus and for disappointing you in terms of keeping up. Much has happened in the interim, and this is an attempt to zippily catch you up on what's going on in my life right now.

For one thing, I survived June, July and August 2009 in Cyprus.

While I love the intensity of the heat of summer on this island - it's pretty trippy walking down the street most times, it's THAT hot - I find the quiet, slow pace of life and the dearth of people (Nicosia, the capital where I live, becomes a ghost town in summer) very difficult to manage at times.

I suppose this is mostly because the intense heat, sluggish pace of life and reduced human contact turn me inward, when my natural inclination is to be on the go all the time and avoid those dark places in my mind, heart, soul.

However, the summer, for this very reason, is an optimal time for me to strip everything down to its bare bones, eat lightly and do lots of exercise and meditation. Which is precisely what I did.

The pain at my failed relationship is still with me. I've had spells when I haven't thought of the ex at all. Other times - such as this past October, when I returned to Cyprus after attending a short film festival in Tangier - I was overwhelmed with how much I missed her. Not to mention, last Friday, the ex before the current ex had her first baby. You'd have thought that her having been married for four years would have been enough for me to have moved on, but I guess some ties are very hard to sever.

Anyhoo, when I haven't been working on moving on from the detritus of my former romantic life, I have been learning and practising new spiritual techniques and forms of meditation, writing a screenplay for a new short and accepting clients for astrological readings.

Suffice it to say, I'm going to be posting much more regularly, recommitting to and re-investing in this blog, because I have a need to write and express myself very badly. I have a need to make contact with people and to unburden my mind and heart.

Consequently, there may be less polish, but I hope you'll bear with me, since writing to me has become much more important than cranking out the perfect post.

Oh yes, and in the meantime, I've stumbled on a new system of illumination - Human Design - which I think is amazing. You can google it for more information, but I'll be posting on that, as well as about my ongoing adventures in art, metaphysics and day-to-day human-ness (hopefully in the spirit of humane-ness, too).

On a completely unrelated note, how are we enjoying the transiting Saturn-Pluto square so far?

Saturn's currently in my second house (where natal Pluto in Libra lurks) and Pluto's in my Capricorn fifth. Selfworth-boosting income (Saturn in the second) that I can then focusedly plug into my filmmaking (Pluto in the fifth) is definitely proving a toughie to pull. Even more challenging with this particular transit, is moving beyond the fear/angst in trying to earn a decent income before daring to think about romance again.

So there you have it for the time being. More to come soon!

Scorpio and Capricorn, or tougher-than-tough love

Sorry to have been MIA for ages dear readers; when I haven't been doing the night proofreading shift at the local English language daily, I've been giving most of my attention to working on my screenplay, meditating and a whole lot of self-reflection.

Above all, during this period, I have been musing on what exactly it is in me which always seems to attract the 'tough love' teachers. And why they are so often Scorpios or Capricorns. Or have so many planets/personal points in both signs.

Sort of like the relentless drill-sergeant Louis Gossett Jr. plays in An Officer and a Gentleman.

Take my father for instance. He's a Capricorn Sun, with (according to his mother's hazy memory of his birth-time) Scorpio on the Ascendant. That would fit him very well. Because he is not only my self-appointed timekeeper (Capricorn) - "We're not young forever; if I were you, I would stop wasting time and..." but is also given to dragging me into the underworld (Scorpio) at steady intervals, or probing deep into my soul (whether I invite him to, or not - most often not).

Meanwhile, my mother has Pluto in Leo conjunct her Ascendant, so that makes her rather Scorpio-like in her intense probing, too.

My old English Literature and Drama teacher, who has been a very important mentor in many ways, is a Capricorn; my ex-girlfriend, despite being a Libra, has Pluto conjunct her Sun, as well as the Moon, Mars, Mercury and Uranus all in Scorpio.

Then there's my current astrology teacher who has a very strong Saturn and a Scorpio Moon.

The list goes on and on and on.

Boy have I learned a lot from all of them, and continue to do so. Can't say I've always enjoyed the experience, but on the soul level I believe I have attracted them to me for a purpose. And, frankly, none of this is surprising given my own Capricorn Moon and Venus-Pluto-Saturn T-square. Or my natal Uranus in Scorpio sextile my Ascendant

In the fires of these intimates' intensity and in the boundaries they've forced me to honour - either in them or in me - I've slowly been (and continue to be) tested and refined, no matter how unpleasant it can at times be, for my higher good.

Then again, my musings could just be prompted by Pluto in Capricorn inching towards a square to my natal Pluto in Libra - which, taking into account my natal T-Square of Pluto-Venus-Saturn, is going to add up to a doozy of a Grand Cross - while transiting Saturn is on a collision course with Natal Pluto in my Second House. To say nothing of the pesky ongoing Neptune-Chiron-Jupiter dance, too.

Tough love, baby. The universe is really giving it to me aplenty.

By the time I head into my Uranus opposition, I'm going to be harder than steel and wiser than serpents, that's fer sure.




The above image was taken from this site.

Drumming away depression on the djembe

The moment I heard the thunder of that relentless, ecstatic rhythm it was obvious to me: drumming is like some God-given alchemy to release and transform the heaviest of energies.

To explain: this evening I went to a free djembe drumming concert held in the courtyard of Nicosia's Goethe Institut.

On a balmy Mediterranean night, with burning torches and gratis red vino, there were definitely worse places to be, let me tell you - but it was a total fluke. The only reason I was there was because an acquaintance had sent me a text message about it.

Actually, I can honestly say that I'm incredibly grateful for having gone; I felt happy for the first time in ages. The last week in particular has been steeped in sorrow and mourning for me for what was recently lost. Indeed, depression has been hovering rather too close for my comfort.

But gosh, hearing those drums - being stirred by that wall of joyous, pulsing sound - it was like being uplifted and relieved of burdens.

Small wonder such rhythms can be therapeutic. Even less of a surprise that such drumming is often the shaman's means to travel into an ecstatic state.

So, more drumming please, less depression. And if you're interested in learning more about djembe drumming's benefits, you can satisfy your curiosity here.






The image above was taken from this site.

How the life force sometimes returns

Really, we're designed to survive. No matter how tough it gets, no matter how much we trip ourselves up or try to self-destruct, at our core, we're actually pretty darn tough.

The renowned astrologer Noel Tyl said it far better when he mused on the following:

"There’s an adaptability about human beings that is designed by Nature to help us cope, to help us heal. Intrinsic mechanisms are built into our mood systems to help us accommodate difficulty.

"These coping mechanisms see to work against any of our contrived efforts to enhance our moods permanently. In other words, drugs, alcohol, rationalizations, pathological lying, profligate spending, as mood savers, cannot endure for long; more and more of whatever it is is needed, and addiction ensues.

"It is our nature to get used to what is difficult in our lives."

You can read the rest of his insightful essay here.

Despite weathering some of the worst bouts of self-loathing and self-doubt I've experienced so far, it seems moments of serenity and contentment do return - indeed, might well be hiding just around the corner.

For me, though, it's not just time that makes the difference as Noel suggests. Rather it is being meaningfully active.

No new ground broken here, but my Moon in Capricorn (under five degrees from my Sixth house cusp), my Virgo Ascendant, and my Aquarius Mars and Mercury (also in the Sixth) REALLY need to be busy - preferably working my a** off.

Fortunately for me, this evening was just such a night, wherein almost nine hours disappeared while I practised laying out articles using the InDesign publishing software for the newspaper at which I often proofread. The idea is I get trained up while working unpaid, in the hopes that I'll be in shape to cover sub-editor shifts whenever the latter are on holiday.

Well here's hoping, anyway.

Whether or not they hire me though, it felt so good walking home this evening after putting the paper to bed. Really, all I need is to keep ultra-busy if at all possible, and all will be fine.

Too bad Neptune and Chiron (and soon Jupiter) just turned retrograde in my Sixth.






The image above was taken from this site.

Abundance revisited, or Chiron-Jupiter-Neptune is like salt in the cosmic wound...

Haven't experienced this much pain in a long, long time. It's like tearing open a wound that had just scabbed and then pouring the contents of the salt cellar on it.

Holy crap! Lately it's been like bashing my head against one wall, only to find a new surface to practise spontaneous cranial omelette-making. All the old anxiety and self-loathing at not being 'normal' and not making money have just erupted like a particularly vicious flare-up of eczema or psoriasis.

I've been going round and round and round in circles, trying to do something about the no job-living at home situation. So far, there have been a few opps which I may or may not go for. But all almost guaranteed to send me around the bend with frustration. I kid you not. Uranus in Scorpio in the Third House, squaring Mars in Aquarius in the Sixth points to the independence-lovin', answer-to-none kind of 'employee' I am. Ha. What I am is a freelancer in denial!

But just so happens that this evening I realised that I'd been visualising abundance and money pouring in, when... I was actually in fairly good shape: debt free, still some savings left and, whatever else it may do for my self esteem, rent-free living at the parental units.

**Aries/Sagittarius/Capricorn/Scorpio/Tauruses are free to leave in disgust now**

So, I decided this evening to stop worrying about getting a 'real' job and moving out of the apartment. I realise that's not actually my first priority right now. Making use of the three summer months for completing the first draft of my feature-length screenplay and writing the kids' book I have in mind, are. That's what I'm going to give my focus and attention to.

Let whoever wishes to judge me for this lifestyle, do so. I try to judge noone (though I'm bad at not judging myself - Saturn separately squaring Venus and Pluto). Right now I'm in the position most artists dream of, so I'm going to hunker down and create.

Also, simplicity is the name of the game right now. Anything that is taking away from my focus has to be eliminated.

By the end of the summer, with my two projects completed, I'll make a dedoubled push for job and apartment-hunting. (Though hey, if the universe wants to send me some kind of paying opportunity that's related to writing/film/healing, bring it on).

The image above is from this site.

Do You Believe in Fairies? (Or a Meditation on Puer Aeternus/Puella Aeterna)

This is a post in honour of the Sun entering Gemini later today, and the puer aeternus/puella aeterna (eternal child) which this lovely sign is an archetype of.

So, here's the thing: do you believe in fairies? I mean fairies as in faerie folk, not the gentlemen who appreciate other gentlemen.

I think I've always believed in them. The former, I mean (nothing against the latter either of course).

Even as a supposedly sober, left-brained, rational, put-away-childish-things adult wannabe, in my heart of hearts, I always thought the world was magic, with magical denizens of every kind.

*** WARNING: overly Saturnian folks, you may wish to skip the rest of this post altogether ***

Which includes us, by the way. I believe humans have their own magic.

Actually, from parsing various occult books, it seems magic is no more nor less than harnessing one's will toward manifestation. But that seems far less fun a way of thinking about it.

I guess the cool bit about magic (and fairies etc.) is not putting together definitions to categorise them (though I suppose Virgo-rising might enjoy that), but rather embracing their mystery.

Oh dear, another happy New Age phrase, embracing mystery.

No matter, let it stand. I believe anyone even vaguely creative and childlike can only delight in how much we don't know. It's about wonder and discovery and the pleasure at not knowing what could be round the next corner. Something wonderful or horrifying, or both. Something wise, something mischievous. Something altogether tragic and noble.

One of the authors who never lost the fairy spirit of the puer aeternus was Ray Bradbury (and C. S. Lewis, of course - and Lewis Carroll). And Michael Ende. And Neil Gaiman. Can't forget J. M. Barrie, either - he'd be the puer aeternus personified.

I'm 34 and I still delight in their writing, and one day, when I have kids, it will be my utter breamish joy to introduce them to the endless worlds of innocence and adventure. And danger, too, of course. Fairies so often end up where they shouldn't be. And sometimes, there's a terrible price to pay.

But what of that? We need dragons and witches, too. Not to mention the odd ogre army. Spices things up a bit. Gets the blood going. Makes the treasure worth having (and you know there's always treasure where there be dragonnes).

As I continue to observe outdoor rehearsals of Midsummer Night's Dream, which a local Anglophone theatre group is putting on later in June, I'm really feeling that innocence and joy inside me, fighting to return, despite the recent sorrows.

Hurrah for the time of Gemini!

I definitely, absolutely, without-a-doubt, 101 percent, believe in fairies. Do you?






The lovely image above was taken from this site.

Taurus versus Sagittarius: The Domestic Life of the Bull and Archer

Sometimes, as unlikely a pairing as it may seem from the astrological point of view, Taurus and Sagittarius decide to get married.

I have observed this scenario for most of my life at close quarters, so this evening I bring you a little scene of domesticity between the bull and the archer, inspired somewhat by real events.

*******

TAURUS

(calling from the kitchen

to SAGITTARIUS):

I know your tendency to waste

time - start wrapping up whatever

you're doing because we're eating at eight.

SAGITTARIUS

(Arranging the 300+ photos from her last trip

while comparing hotel prices online)

What d'you mean? We only just had lunch!

TAURUS

We had lunch a full four hours ago

and I'm hungry. Anyway, don't argue,

we're eating at eight and that's final.

Where'd we keep the cumin?

SAGITTARIUS

Cumin? Don't tell me you're cooking?

TAURUS

Of course I'm cooking, we're having

dinner aren't we? Left to you we'd be

eating bread and cheese again.

SAGITTARIUS

(miffed)

What d'you mean again, I

made pasta for lunch didn't I?

TAURUS

You boiled the water you mean.

I made the sauce, added fresh

herbs and made sure we had extra

grated cheese. Speaking of, if we eat

any more bread and cheese we'll

turn into bloody bread and cheese!

SAGITTARIUS

(Grumbling under her breath)

What's wrong with bread and cheese

anyway? How many meals am I

expected to come up with every day?

(Calling to Taurus)

What are you making?

TAURUS

The chicken breasts in a yoghurt sauce.

Where'd'you keep the cumin?

SAGITTARIUS

Third shelf on the left.

Hang on... I was saving that

chicken for Thursday's lunch!

TAURUS

So, we'll cook something else.

Anyway, Thursday I thought

we'd entertain at home.

SAGITTARIUS

You're kidding! Thursday night

I'm going to that lecture on

comparative literature...

TAURUS

What the hell for? You keep saying

you're tired all the time and then

you rush off to these stupid things -

SAGITTARIUS

Well entertaining at home is not

my idea of relaxation. That's

far more tiring than any lecture.

TAURUS

(Bitterly)

We never do anything. We never

have anybody over. We never

entertain at home because

you can never be bothered to!

SAGITTARIUS

What are you talking about?

We go out all the time!

TAURUS

I'm talking about entertaining

at home. Cooking for friends!

When I was a child, my mother

was always making something

delicious and our friends

and family came over for

meals all the time.

SAGITTARIUS

(Shuddering involuntarily)

Well, you definitely married

the wrong gal if that's

what you wanted -

TAURUS

- look you've got half-an-hour,

then we're eating, okay?

SAGITTARIUS

Why don't you have the

same urgency about calling

the dentist, huh? Mister

Ants-in-his-pants?

Why don't you call him already?

TAURUS

Dentist, schmentist. I'll call

him next week. Anyway,

what the hell's the rush?

*******

Freddie Mercury (in Retrograde): He's the One

This evening I attended a two-hour rehearsal of a Shakespeare comedy, being performed by a local Anglophone drama group here in Nicosia. And for awhile, the pain of the break-up and the lack of a concrete plan while being back again in Cyprus did not feel so painful.

Actually, I'm often super-animated and expressive when I'm with people, particularly creative people. And when this happens, Virgo-rising or no, all I want to do is perform.

This is more of a Leo trait of course, but my other planetary signatures for creative expression when added to that Aries Venus, just make me want to entertain, charm and engage with people. To put it another way, I'm the ego of the moment.

I guess I don't often mention my Venus in Aries on this blog, but for such an ill-at-ease, often quiet and sombre person who is uncomfortable in his own skin, weirdly enough, I can be the life and soul of the party.

Of course, it's not all fun and games, despite the fun and games, if you know what I mean.

This Venus is squared by neurotic, insecure Saturn in Cancer and opposed by iron-fist-in-velvet-glove Pluto in Libra.

However, this Venus is also trine jovial Neptune in fiery Sagittarius and sextile Mercury in electrically-charged Aquarius. And quintile Aquarius Mars. Not the kind of Venus to get her to a nunnery. Far from it. Frankly, this Venus is The One and doesn't care who knows it.

When I'm in this ultra-energised, witty and expressive mode, I feel like I'm channelling one of my favourite artists of all time: the late, great virtuoso performer and singer, Virgo Sun Freddie Mercury.

So much for my Virgo-rising modesty, but how curiously appropriate to this particular Mercury Rx period.





The image above was taken from this site.

The Nodes in the Fourth/Tenth, Or Visualising the Perfect Career

These days, I am obsessed with manifesting a career that will suit me down to a 'T'. It's my first thought when I awake and the last thought when I sleep. (Well, other than thinking of my ex, whom I miss very much. Very, very much).

Apparently, those with a Sagittarian North Node have a better aptitude than others when it comes to manifesting their desires. I guess because Sags are always relying on faith that the wherewithal and provisions for a journey will be provided for by, well, Providence.

I have the North Node in Sagittarius in the Fourth House and a Gemini South Node in the Tenth. That South Node has marked a seemingly endless desire to experiment and change career plans, with a thirst for experiences that is always prematurely slaked just when the real commitment bit has to kick in.

In short, in imagining a career for myself' I've gone from one plan to another, with very little money made to show for it.

Additionally, I have a low boredom threshold and a terror of being tied down to a boring, monotonous job. I shy away from the kinds of occupation that most people wishing to be self-sufficient undertake for the greater good of not being parasitic/burdens on those they love and/or to support their families.

Unfortunately, while I harbour no end of self-condemnation for my own fickleness and inability to settle into one particular job, the pain, shame and lack of selfworth have obviously not been enough to compel me to do the honorable thing and say 'yes' to the first job I'm offered, just to stop my internal engine of condemnation from filling me with self-loathing.

It hasn't been enough to castigate myself into action with the full-on barrage of thoughts like: "You're a worthless, good-for-nothing, burden-on-society parasite, spoiled and selfish and lazy and not fit to enjoy what you do."

And yet, neither has it been enough to simply accept myself. While I have Mars and Mercury in an Aquarius Sixth House, and a Scorpio Uranus in the Third squaring that Mars (not to mention my Moon at 29 degrees of Capricorn), I have not been able to find peace simply by accepting myself as a rebel and a drifter.

To the contrary (as my ex likes to say), I actually very much want to prove myself with a decent career, decent money and a means with which to bring together my spiritual and creative interests. And support a family.

Meanwhile, though, there's this idea that jobs (and most careers) are meant to be soul-killing and badly-paid with miserably long hours, hellish deadlines, insufferable tedium and a brutish superior (or three). That's apparently how you can tell you're doing the responsible thing. The level of suffering is directly proportional to the level of maturity achieved.

[[Obviously I'm being rather petulant here, but I need to get this off my chest.]]

Yet I refuse to be in the above-mentioned situation. Which, I suppose, is proof of my own level of privilege and pampered-ness (is there such a noun?) on the one hand, and ongoing reluctance to make a commitment to a normal job/career or the constraints of a healthy adult life on the other.

Indeed, I hasten to add, trying to supress such inclinations has not resulted in the responsible behaviour I aspire to. Rather, it has continued to put me at war within myself and drain my energy and make me miserable.

Q: Which leaves me where exactly?

A: Back to self-acceptance and the manifestation of desire through focus and trust in the generosity of the Universe (and gratitude for the plenty I already enjoy).

I'm going to endeavour to be enough for myself, warts and all. Restlessness, impatience, low boredom threshold and ever-shifting inclinations toward creative/healing freelance career included.

And I'm going to imagine the perfect career. Which, for me, would have to include:

-- Travelling all over the world

-- The opportunity to interact with people spiritually and creatively

-- The opportunity to write and direct for film and theatre and generally express myself in a variety of ways (in this case, more writing - fiction, poetry, graphic novels, kids' books, illustration, music...)

-- The opportunity to share my knowledge, guide, teach and help people heal

-- The opportunity to keep learning till the day I die (languages, theories of anything, metaphysics - and just about everything other than knitting, sewing and stamp-collecting)

-- The opportunity to serve others and be a good steward of the earth

There. That's what I want to do for a living.

Did I mention I wanted a decent wage/income, too? I do. I want to make money and a decent amount of it.

Q: Am I daring to imagine such things when Saturn's about to go into my Second House of earned income (and values, and self-worth)?

A: You double betcha.

In the meantime, praises and thanks to the Universe for everything I enjoy and all those I love who are in my life, whether as friends or family.

*****

For those interested, my desire to envision (and, thus, manifest) the perfect job has been shaped by the principles shared in this book.

*****

The image above was taken from this site.

The Return of Discipline: Counting Down to Saturn Turning Direct

The mutable signs are not known for their immense staying powers.

If the angles are in Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces, or there are a lot of planets (especially Mars, Mercury, Jupiter or Saturn) in these signs in a natal (or progressed) chart, you can bet the native will have trouble focusing on one particular goal for a sustained period of time.

I know whereof I speak: my angles are all mutable, my Sun and Jupiter are in Pisces, and the Nodes are Sagittarius-Gemini.

In addition, Neptune squares my Sun and my ascendant, and Aquarius Mars and Mercury keep my Sixth House often busy, but accomplishing little.

Also, I have little to no patience for longterm, process-oriented tasks.

It may be no surprise, then, that I've had several shortlived jobs in my past, and find it hard to commit to any one thing of my own volition - unless there's some concrete goal to be achieved.

Of course, Saturn in Cancer in the Eleventh might also have something to do with my prolonged shirking of more constraining 'grown-up' jobs (not to mention the 'terror' of having to be a part of a large group when it comes to the workplace).

Meanwhile, Saturn rules my Fifth House and it's no wonder my romantic and creative life have been making little headway during its lengthy retrograde.

In short, I'm REALLY looking forward to Saturn going direct on May 16th. That's mid-month, this month. With any luck that'll point to the discipline I've been sorely lacking of late to knuckle down to some serious creative writing.

Of course, I'm not going to wait till then to start attacking the writing projects I have in mind. But psychologically, I know getting to May 16th will feel like the right momentum will be building in my favour again.

My Capricorn Moon can't wait.





The image above was taken from this site.

Looking Ahead: Unlocking the Potential of Saturn-Pluto (and Pluto-Venus)

As a way of distracting myself from the ongoing sadness of the break-up, I'm looking ahead to transiting Saturn's entry into my natal second house as of this October, where natal Pluto awaits for the inevitable conjunction.

You always sense the changing of the guard astrologically before it happens. Especially with the transits of Saturn. Whatever is the issue that will be at the forefront with its ingress into a new sign is already 'in the air' by the time it's finishing up its passage in the sign before.

Saturn is almost done with my Virgo first and I feel like I'm 100 years old. I'm also even skinnier than I was before and wrinklier, too. Which is a rather odd combo, since I'm still considered youthful-looking (despite the advanced age of 34) so now I look like a really young-looking old guy. Weird.

But for a long time now, and growing in tremendous urgency over the last year, has been the issue of income. I'm tired of my hitherto stop-start earnings. I take most of the responsibility for this in that I never wanted a mainstream 9-5 job. In my defence though, my educational background is so varied (and arty) that I don't really fit a mainstream job. Quite apart from which, in Cyprus, the media jobs in the English language (since my English is stronger than my Greek) are few and far between.

However, mostly, I blame myself. If I wanted the security and money badly enough, I'd have sucked up the boredom in what was available and got on with it. That would have been, my natal retrograde Saturn in Cancer reminds me, the mature thing to do.

Now, I'm determined to unlock the doors of abundance in employment and - transiting Jupiter in my Sixth - to do so in a way that is meaningful to me. I am determined to start my shamanic training this August, but before that happens, I'm determined to make the most of my grab-bag of skills to become a truly independent freelancer.

There is another, far more major reason for my reticence to take on a mainstream job in conservative Cyprus, which, for reasons of privacy, I never mention on this blog. One day, I hope that obstacle and its power to make me feel like a freak, to be gone from my life. And perhaps one day, I'll feel brave enough to talk about it openly.

But the fact remains, I'm still more comfortable setting my own hours and working one-on-one with people in a creative/spiritual/healing way. You'd think astrology as a fulltime career would be the answer. But even the best astrologers among us attest to how the profession is not a get-rich-quick field. And with natal Pluto in my second opposite natal Venus in my eighth, I feel there is a much greater store of abundance than I have experienced so far, available to me. Of course, both Pluto and Venus are squared by natal Saturn, so there is huge fear involved with tapping into the power (and wealth) of that Pluto-Venus dynamic.

But I'm determined to heal myself of that fear and start making money. Money will mean more freedom, independence, self-sufficiency, confidence AND flow of energy in other ways. Movement in my life which has been marked by either periods of incredible frenzy and others of seemingly unending stagnancy.

Of course, like many, I tend to 'mythologise' my life. It's just an ordinary life in many ways, and I've been incredibly privileged.

But making decent money on my own terms... that will be part of the new chapter that is now beginning. I hope I can be of some service/use to others. I hope I can unlock my creativity in tangible form. I really, really hope I can slay some of the demons that have haunted (and tormented) me for so long.

Money. Transformation of potential (and values - here's hoping it includes a new self-worth). Re-structuring of self-sufficiency and plenty. Saturn bearing down on natal Pluto in the Second. Abundance.





The image above was taken from this site.

Eight of Cups - Mourning the Past

The second time my ex and I broke up was this New Year's day. That's right, before the current permanent parting, we'd had two earlier dress rehearsals.

To elaborate: on January 1st of this year, we decided to split up again and I fell into such a funk I hopped over to Llewellyn's Web Tarot and did a free online spread based on my relationship woes - mostly to see if there was a shred of hope to be had.

Not a chance.

The spread was a Celtic Cross (the only one I really have some knowledge of - I'm no Tarot expert) and the outcome was the eight of cups. Which, in the mythic tarot deck I generally use, signifies mourning, and a descent into the underworld as the consequence of a relationship-associated death.

We later decided to hang on in there to give things one last shot, so I thought the cards to have been mistaken.

I was wrong.

Mourning is a very important part of the grieving (and healing) process I'm told. Experientially, it feels awful - especially if, as the grief gurus recommend - we don't fight or distract ourselves from feeling our pain, but rather embrace it.

That's why, from what I gather, observant Jews 'sit shiva' after a death, whereby those who are bereaved are required to do nothing but sit and encounter their grief again and again and again for a specified period. To really enter the underworld of mourning.

And then, at the end of that specified time, they are to resume the normal course of their lives. Which all sounds eminently sensible to me and is probably one of the healthiest ways to gain closure.

But whichever way you tackle it, it's still painful as hell.






The image above was taken from this site.

The Pitch is All

It's starting to happen. Early days and baby steps aside, I pitched my feature film idea for a noir thriller in Cyprus this evening and the filmmaker friends who were my audience - and potential collaborators - seemed genuinely interested.

Now all I need to do - no small task - is to write the feature script. It'll be a film that explodes some pretty major taboos in Cyprus, so I do hope it gets made so as to get a decent dialogue going about certain socially repressed topics.

I say no more, but I have to use the upcoming Mercury retrograde in Gemini (most of my midheaven - which houses my South node, too) to really nail down the plot, so I can use June for writing a decent first draft.

Really excited. And really missing my ex. Sigh. How I wish I could share my anticipation with her







The above image was taken from this site.

Capricorn Moon at the Anaretic Degree, Or Why You Shouldn't Mess With Your Natal Planets

Some time ago, one of the astrologers whose blog I enjoy reading, Elsa Panizzon of ElsaElsa.com, observed (and I'm paraphrasing here) that not to acknowledge the specifics of your planets' signs/houses/aspects, is to cheat yourself of the meaning of your chart. It is to over-ride the message of the planets at the moment of your birth. In other words, it is to put yourself 'above' the planets and the energies (and balance) they stand for in your life.

For example, my natal Moon is to be found at 29 degrees, 38 minutes of Capricorn. Some astrologers use the term 'anaretic' for this final degree. If you wanted to argue the point, you could say it was in Aquarius. I mean, it's almost there - less than a degree away from the next sign.

And Aquarius would seem, on the surface of it, to well explain my Saturn-ruled early life (and mother), with the added desire to up-end convention in service to the wider needs of humanity, as well as to be rebelliously 'different'.

These things are true of me, but they are not marked by the placement of my Moon. Rather, they are symbolised by my Aquarian Mars and Mercury. And, no doubt, the sextile to my Virgo ascendant from natal Uranus in Scorpio.

My desire, my early life, my mother, even my heritage or clan, however, is still distinctly Capricornian. In my case, my driving need is to build something in order to attain achievement, distinction, respect, prestige or authority. When I am at my most instinctual (read: under attack, under pressure, threatened) I repress my emotions and turn coolly to leading. In fact, I'm as comfortable leading as I am serving - which is a strange thing indeed for a Pisces Sun, Virgo rising.

Not to mention that, despite that annoying South Node in my 10th house, I find it really, really hard to put aside the drive to shine careerwise and to gain supreme respect among my colleagues.

I've often found such vast ambition troubling and out of synch with my endeavour to lead a more modest and self-deprecating life - and to better the lot of others in some way.

Nevertheless, the fact remains that my Moon remains in Capricorn and, no matter how much I may try to deny it, the energy of it is always there.

Meanwhile, the anaretic degree of a sign is held by astrologers who integrate the idea of Karma or past lives into their interpretation of a chart, to be particularly portentous in that the native has 'one last chance' in this lifetime to learn the lessons of that particular sign.

Interestingly enough, my natal Moon is at the end of the Fifth House and could be read as also in the Sixth. Which is perfect because I have always desired (Moon) to put my creativity and art (Fifth House) into service for others (Aquarian Sixth).

In short, I'd agree with Elsa. Don't try and round off the numbers or fudge the placements of your planets. They're exactly where they were for a particular reason: to give you your unique blueprint for this lifetime.






The image above was taken from this site.

Ever Feel Astrologically Under Siege?

Sometimes, as much as I enjoy astrology, I find it hard not to get somewhat discouraged by the - frequently sombre - longterm interpretations of the ongoing transits, particularly when it comes to the slower-moving outer planets.

Yes, I realise everyone's experiencing the challenges in various areas of their lives. Yes, I get that we're collectively sharing the growing pains of a new order. Yes, I understand that the more 'dynamic' aspects needn't 'hurt' if we are open to change.

But every now and then, I'm sick of reading about it. I don't want to know whether or not Mars or Venus are going retrograde tomorrow or if they're about to square Pluto (which is thereafter to be squared by Saturn in Libra and Uranus in Aries). And I'm truly better off ignorant about a new or full moon being afflicted by hostile planetary configurations.

By this point, I'm sure there are plenty of Saturnian or Plutonian types who are smirking at reading this:

'Listen to the pathetic Pisces shaking in his boots. Aw, is the poor fishy afraid? Does he want his mommy? Just shaddap and take it like a man, worm!'

Quite. And those types can go read more macho content elsewhere. Joking apart, there are plenty of excellent astrologers with worthy blogs listed on the right of this post, providing valuable analyses of the heavens' import.

But for those, like me, who get weary, every now and then, from hearing how we all need to 'let go' and 'surrender' and 'move forward', because 'whatever's gone is so over it ain't even funny', check out Kim Gould's alternative melange of metaphysical systems at: loveyourdesign. In fact, I'm going to add it now to my list of fave astro links.

No offence to anyone meant, or, I hope, taken. I guess if I can't take the heat, I should hop off the ecliptic.






The image above was taken from this site.

Jack Nicholson, Taurus Par Excellence

Jack Nicholson is much on my mind these days, given how this Taurean native is the epitome of the unhurried, earthy, macho type who won't surrender his pleasures, even when the price to be paid is higher than he can afford.

Allow me to explain.

Since my breakup with my ex (see my earlier post on this here), I've been focused on pouring myself into my filmmaking career. Indeed, the better part of the past six months I spent in New York (a city I intend to make my home some day) was spent re-connecting with my fellow film alums from Columbia University's graduate film programme.

My aim is to write a feature script - a film noir - set in Cyprus, to launch my career as a writer/director. I figure the island of my birth might just be the happy hunting ground I need for a first full-length film, and hopefully the relatively good impression which was left by the short I wrote and directed last year will help things happen for me.

Given my interest in the noir form, I keep coming back to two films for inspiration: Chinatown and The Crying Game, though of course, neither film is a true example of the genre. However, Chinatown has been particularly informative, not only for its dazzling direction and glamorous production design, but the charismatic performances by Faye Dunaway and, in particular, Taurean man's man, Jack Nicholson.

All things considered, thoughts of his performance are quite fitting given the sun is now in Taurus, and I wonder whether I'll end up modelling my story's anti-hero on Nicholson, or on Scorpio sun (and zodiacal opposite to Taurus) Stephen Rea, who is the protagonist of The Crying Game.

Fascinating actors both. Tough, tough choice. Stay tuned.






This still from Chinatown was taking from this site.

Taurus New Moon - Welcome Abundance

So, it's the Taurus new moon, and I figured I should post something to kick off my return to this blog.

It's been ages since I've posted anything here and, frankly, it takes a lot to be back. The last six months have been fairly taxing emotionally and mentally - even physically, given some needful surgery I underwent this past February.

I'm now back in Nicosia, Cyprus after having flown out from New York City this Monday and having ended my first major relationship - my American ex-girlfriend's decision, not mine. To be honest, I can't get my head, heart and mind round the situation. But perhaps it's for the best. Her reasons for deciding on the break-up were based on our different cultures and paths in life, and our lack of mutual interests. Hearing that you'd think splitting up would be obvious. But we lasted a month shy of six years because of the love and tenderness we had for each other. There was a lot of that, the first three years. And it was wonderful. Certainly the best three years of my life and a level of happiness I never thought I'd enjoy.

If I'm honest with myself, though, I'll admit that we were always different, which was probably always going to be problematic in the long-run. And the kind of affection I mention above had been one-sided (ie from me alone) for a while now - particularly after the half-way point during my forced return to Cyprus from August 2006-October 2008 (due to my scholarship's strict home requirements following my graduation), and the obstacles to her joining me on the island. While we were living apart, her own hopes and dreams surged forth (unsurprising, as Saturn crossed her ascendant just days before I left the USA for my two years of 'exile' in Cyprus) and she began to focus unrelentingly towards realising her dream. She wants to found a charter school where she will be the principal and, in this way, shape children's education. To achieve this, she began collecting all the needful credentials - MBA, MEd, three years of teaching, PhD - while holding down a full-time job, as of March of 2007, leaving her little time for me, but also eventually granting her the insight that we were never going to bond over her passion for education, or over mine for filmmaking and all things spiritual.

So again, I guess she might have done us a huge favour by calling it off. But I'm still in mourning for a shared life I thought would be ours.

Just what has this to do with today's Taurus new moon?

Well, Taurus is a symbol of fertility and abundance, and my ex always symbolised 'plenty' to me. She was the embodiment of the Empress of the Tarot and the cornucopia of all good things; a happy, joyous home where there was always something playful happening, good food being prepared, and much love available to be shared. It might sound unrealistically idealised, but I guess that's part of the meaning of my family-oriented, Saturn in Cancer and Venus trine Neptune (the latter found in my fourth house). In other words, she was the manifestation of all that home and love mean to me.

But now that she is no longer mine in that way, I find I'm more and more open to finding abundance in my own heart and soul. Finding self-sufficiency and plenty inside me. And with Taurus in most of my ninth house, I am focusing on tapping into the abundance and creativity of my 'higher mind' and my higher education. I'm looking toward generating my most mature creative writing, after a wealth of tertiary education, and for it to steer me toward creative plenty and - why be coy about it? - money.

I've always had a troubled relationship with money; when I was growing up, there never seemed to be enough - even though I lacked for nothing and enjoyed a pretty high standard of living - and there was tremendous anxiety about it. Until recently, I was either uninterested in making or having it, or believed I had no aptitude to earn any significant amount. Now I see it as energy, and I'm sending out my gratitude in advance for the plenty in terms of income that is about to open to me. (This is a big issue of trust in the provision of the universe/God, so it's part of my healing process - being fairly left-brained, I tend to doubt the so-called 'law of attraction' without applying myself in a more practical, mundane way to 'getting what I want').

Of course, money can't take the place of the joys of the senses. And it can't buy you love. But perhaps the joy of abundance that is Taurus, whether its a plenty of lucre, literary output or love, will carry me forward toward finding that 'plenty' in a new love again.

Peace, joy, creativity and plenty to all on this Taurus new moon.

Meanwhile, thumbs up to the lovely article on this lunation by Beth Owl's Daughter. You can read it here.






The image above is from the mythic Tarot deck and was taken from this site