Abundance revisited, or Chiron-Jupiter-Neptune is like salt in the cosmic wound...

Haven't experienced this much pain in a long, long time. It's like tearing open a wound that had just scabbed and then pouring the contents of the salt cellar on it.

Holy crap! Lately it's been like bashing my head against one wall, only to find a new surface to practise spontaneous cranial omelette-making. All the old anxiety and self-loathing at not being 'normal' and not making money have just erupted like a particularly vicious flare-up of eczema or psoriasis.

I've been going round and round and round in circles, trying to do something about the no job-living at home situation. So far, there have been a few opps which I may or may not go for. But all almost guaranteed to send me around the bend with frustration. I kid you not. Uranus in Scorpio in the Third House, squaring Mars in Aquarius in the Sixth points to the independence-lovin', answer-to-none kind of 'employee' I am. Ha. What I am is a freelancer in denial!

But just so happens that this evening I realised that I'd been visualising abundance and money pouring in, when... I was actually in fairly good shape: debt free, still some savings left and, whatever else it may do for my self esteem, rent-free living at the parental units.

**Aries/Sagittarius/Capricorn/Scorpio/Tauruses are free to leave in disgust now**

So, I decided this evening to stop worrying about getting a 'real' job and moving out of the apartment. I realise that's not actually my first priority right now. Making use of the three summer months for completing the first draft of my feature-length screenplay and writing the kids' book I have in mind, are. That's what I'm going to give my focus and attention to.

Let whoever wishes to judge me for this lifestyle, do so. I try to judge noone (though I'm bad at not judging myself - Saturn separately squaring Venus and Pluto). Right now I'm in the position most artists dream of, so I'm going to hunker down and create.

Also, simplicity is the name of the game right now. Anything that is taking away from my focus has to be eliminated.

By the end of the summer, with my two projects completed, I'll make a dedoubled push for job and apartment-hunting. (Though hey, if the universe wants to send me some kind of paying opportunity that's related to writing/film/healing, bring it on).

The image above is from this site.

Revisiting Solo, Or Freelancing the Mercury Rx in Aquarius Way...

There may be hiatuses ahead, good people, during which I may not be able to post some days.

Fact is, Mercury is now retrograde in Aquarius (ie. in my sixth house of, among other things, mundane, busy work), so, despite the good intentions, things like the blog - to which I dutifully try to post each evening - may be put on the backburner in lieu of more merc-in-ret activities: namely reflection, inner 'communication', meditation and a review of projects of yore (memo to self: re-read background materials on a real-live mercurial shapeshifter of the early 20th century, in prep for a future feature script).

Rest assured, the posts will pick up in consistency once the communication deity turns direct. We're talkin' as of February 19.

Meanwhile, I leave you with an article from Mother Jones by Kiera Butler, whose point - that despite its much-touted flexibility and freedom, freelancing from home is ultimately a poor substitute for the needful social stimulation and interaction of the more traditional office environment - I have recently found to be true for me, despite my hitherto staunch conviction that I was happy being a lone wolf forever.

Butler's opening paragraphs for "Practical Values: Works Well With Others" read thusly:

Last October, Rep. Frank Wolf wrote the White House with a radical proposal to promote "environmental stewardship, family values and energy independence." In asking President Bush to designate a National Telework Week, the Virginia Republican evoked the promise of a nation without two-hour commutes, veal-pen cubicles, petty workplace politics, or disgusting communal coffeepots. "Wouldn't it be great," he wrote, "if we could replace the evening rush hour commute with time spent with the family, or coaching little league or other important quality of life matters?"

Yeah, that would be great. Trouble is, when your home is your office, the boundaries between work and personal time dissolve. Distractions (cable, fridge, couch) lurk everywhere. But the biggest problem is social: Without the companionship of office mates—even the Dwight Schrutes of the world—telecommuters and freelancers can feel unmotivated and lonely. Which may explain why the virtual office remains largely hype. The telecommuting lobby claims that 100 million Americans will work remotely by 2010. But in 2004, only 13.7 million did. Of those, only 2 million were working full-time from home.

As shocking as it may sound, we may actually need the office, despite its reputation as a soul-sucking pit of conformity and monotony. In a recent analysis of 40 years of research, Stephen Humphrey, a professor of management at Florida State University's business school, found a strong correlation between the level of social interaction at work and job satisfaction and productivity. He also found that this correlation has strengthened over time—that now more than ever, the office has become a refuge of sorts. "It used to be that everyone could hang out around the watercooler—now we telecommute or spend two hours in our cars on the way to work," he says. "We suddenly start to realize, we miss socializing—and we need it."

I found the article particularly salient given that, wirelessly providing amanuensis-like/communications-type work, is particularly mercurial, and having to rethink the merits of such seemingly liberating (but isolated) labour is very Mercury-retrograde-in-Aquarius.

Indeed, as you continue to read (click here for the rest of the article), the solution to the conundrum is nothing less than a revolutionary re-evaluation of the freelancing set-up, based on reclaiming the benefits of human/societal interaction, albeit in a non-traditional way.

As I say... very Mercury Rx in the sign of the Water Bearer!



The illustration depicts a bust of Mercury and is taken from this site.

"And Cut..."

To his Leading Lady


I may not be much to look at,
at the trendier cocktail parties,
since wit is still no match for what,
despite political correctness.

But once you choose to speak
my lines, to occupy my frame,
you are intellectual property. Each
take is subject solely to my whim.

I cast you, wooed you, would you
move a little further to the left?
That’s nice, and now - repeat.
The lens records, adjust your feet.

How does it feel to know you’re played?

When this is done, and we part ways
if we should meet at yet more soulless
dos, ignore, embrace, gush, praise
or damn me to my face or others’,

we both know how you obeyed
my orders, let me tune you, put
your secrets on display. Laid
open, you were treasured

only inasmuch as your poor
beauty fleshed my dream.



Illustration by Tanner Morrow and can be found here.

Farewell Heath Ledger

UPDATE: Lynn Hayes of the Astrodynamics blog now has an insightful delineation of the ill-fated Ledger's birthchart, putting his passing into clearer perspective. I was not surprised that the short-lived Aries Sun had many Pisces planets and the Moon in Cancer. Such sensitivity allowed him that magical quality to slip, chameleon-like into his more recent, dark, troubled roles, including a tormented gay cowboy in Brokeback Mountain, a charismatic junkie in Candy and a psychotic trickster in Dark Knight. Marvellously equipped to 'disappear', he was, alas, unable to allow the power of his Aries Sun (in the first house, no less) to combat the 'self-undoing' that is also the hallmark of otherworldy Pisces.

I was dismayed to hear that Heath Ledger, the highly talented screen actor, was found dead this afternoon in a Manhattan apartment. While speculation about cause of death had initially brought up the possibility of suicide, it is now believed Ledger died of a drug overdose. He was 28, and had one daughter with former partner, actress Michelle Williams.

Despite his pretty-boy good looks, Ledger was a charismatic and highly-gifted actor, and I am very sorry I shall never see what would undoubtedly have been even more golden acting in the years to come. I always thought the best actor Oscar would have eventually been his - it was only a matter of time. In my mind, he will always be the soulful, tormented cowboy from Brokeback Mountain.

You can read more about this sad event here.

Noting his age, though not knowing his birth details, I wonder how close transiting Saturn in Virgo was to conjuncting his natal Saturn - Ledger, at 28, being in the midst of the infamous Saturn return. Additionally, given that drugs are the believed cause of death, I also ponder what transiting Neptune (notoriously linked to all matter of mind-altering substances, imagination, self-undoing, illusion, and transcendence) was doing at the time of the actor's passing.

Actually, Lynn Hayes of the Astrodynamics blog today had this to say (albeit in a post unrelated to Ledger's passing):

"Today we have Mercury conjunct Neptune in Aquarius, where our most visionary (Aquarian) ideas can become fuzzy and incomplete under the thumb of Neptune. Neptune can erode our confidence, or it can entice us into a dreamland of imagination and creativity."

No doubt the astrological community will come up with some very illuminating posts soon enough.

Is This the Kind of 'One World' We Want?

Lynn Hayes of Astrodynamics (http://astrodynamics.blogspot.com/index.html) has mentioned positively a number of times the movie Zeitgeist, which can be viewed in its entirety here:

http://zeitgeistmovie.com/index.html

The first part is very, very interesting from an anthropological/theological/metaphysical point of view, deconstructing the figure of the historical Jesus to trace the story of the Christian saviour back to the sun god myths of far older, earlier civilisations.

The rest of the movie is concerned with deconstructing the events that shook the present age - namely the 9/11 attacks, leading to a broader analysis of the true (economic) masters of our time.

Watch the movie and decide for yourselves.