I have observed this scenario for most of my life at close quarters, so this evening I bring you a little scene of domesticity between the bull and the archer, inspired somewhat by real events.
*******
TAURUS
(calling from the kitchen
to SAGITTARIUS):
I know your tendency to waste
time - start wrapping up whatever
you're doing because we're eating at eight.
SAGITTARIUS
(Arranging the 300+ photos from her last trip
while comparing hotel prices online)
What d'you mean? We only just had lunch!
TAURUS
We had lunch a full four hours ago
and I'm hungry. Anyway, don't argue,
we're eating at eight and that's final.
Where'd we keep the cumin?
SAGITTARIUS
Cumin? Don't tell me you're cooking?
TAURUS
Of course I'm cooking, we're having
dinner aren't we? Left to you we'd be
eating bread and cheese again.
SAGITTARIUS
(miffed)
What d'you mean again, I
made pasta for lunch didn't I?
TAURUS
You boiled the water you mean.
I made the sauce, added fresh
herbs and made sure we had extra
grated cheese. Speaking of, if we eat
any more bread and cheese we'll
turn into bloody bread and cheese!
SAGITTARIUS
(Grumbling under her breath)
What's wrong with bread and cheese
anyway? How many meals am I
expected to come up with every day?
(Calling to Taurus)
What are you making?
TAURUS
The chicken breasts in a yoghurt sauce.
Where'd'you keep the cumin?
SAGITTARIUS
Third shelf on the left.
Hang on... I was saving that
chicken for Thursday's lunch!
TAURUS
So, we'll cook something else.
Anyway, Thursday I thought
we'd entertain at home.
SAGITTARIUS
You're kidding! Thursday night
I'm going to that lecture on
comparative literature...
TAURUS
What the hell for? You keep saying
you're tired all the time and then
you rush off to these stupid things -
SAGITTARIUS
Well entertaining at home is not
my idea of relaxation. That's
far more tiring than any lecture.
TAURUS
(Bitterly)
We never do anything. We never
have anybody over. We never
entertain at home because
you can never be bothered to!
SAGITTARIUS
What are you talking about?
We go out all the time!
TAURUS
I'm talking about entertaining
at home. Cooking for friends!
When I was a child, my mother
was always making something
delicious and our friends
and family came over for
meals all the time.
SAGITTARIUS
(Shuddering involuntarily)
Well, you definitely married
the wrong gal if that's
what you wanted -
TAURUS
- look you've got half-an-hour,
then we're eating, okay?
SAGITTARIUS
Why don't you have the
same urgency about calling
the dentist, huh? Mister
Ants-in-his-pants?
Why don't you call him already?
TAURUS
Dentist, schmentist. I'll call
him next week. Anyway,
what the hell's the rush?
*******
No comments:
Post a Comment