As a way of distracting myself from the ongoing sadness of the break-up, I'm looking ahead to transiting Saturn's entry into my natal second house as of this October, where natal Pluto awaits for the inevitable conjunction.
You always sense the changing of the guard astrologically before it happens. Especially with the transits of Saturn. Whatever is the issue that will be at the forefront with its ingress into a new sign is already 'in the air' by the time it's finishing up its passage in the sign before.
Saturn is almost done with my Virgo first and I feel like I'm 100 years old. I'm also even skinnier than I was before and wrinklier, too. Which is a rather odd combo, since I'm still considered youthful-looking (despite the advanced age of 34) so now I look like a really young-looking old guy. Weird.
But for a long time now, and growing in tremendous urgency over the last year, has been the issue of income. I'm tired of my hitherto stop-start earnings. I take most of the responsibility for this in that I never wanted a mainstream 9-5 job. In my defence though, my educational background is so varied (and arty) that I don't really fit a mainstream job. Quite apart from which, in Cyprus, the media jobs in the English language (since my English is stronger than my Greek) are few and far between.
However, mostly, I blame myself. If I wanted the security and money badly enough, I'd have sucked up the boredom in what was available and got on with it. That would have been, my natal retrograde Saturn in Cancer reminds me, the mature thing to do.
Now, I'm determined to unlock the doors of abundance in employment and - transiting Jupiter in my Sixth - to do so in a way that is meaningful to me. I am determined to start my shamanic training this August, but before that happens, I'm determined to make the most of my grab-bag of skills to become a truly independent freelancer.
There is another, far more major reason for my reticence to take on a mainstream job in conservative Cyprus, which, for reasons of privacy, I never mention on this blog. One day, I hope that obstacle and its power to make me feel like a freak, to be gone from my life. And perhaps one day, I'll feel brave enough to talk about it openly.
But the fact remains, I'm still more comfortable setting my own hours and working one-on-one with people in a creative/spiritual/healing way. You'd think astrology as a fulltime career would be the answer. But even the best astrologers among us attest to how the profession is not a get-rich-quick field. And with natal Pluto in my second opposite natal Venus in my eighth, I feel there is a much greater store of abundance than I have experienced so far, available to me. Of course, both Pluto and Venus are squared by natal Saturn, so there is huge fear involved with tapping into the power (and wealth) of that Pluto-Venus dynamic.
But I'm determined to heal myself of that fear and start making money. Money will mean more freedom, independence, self-sufficiency, confidence AND flow of energy in other ways. Movement in my life which has been marked by either periods of incredible frenzy and others of seemingly unending stagnancy.
Of course, like many, I tend to 'mythologise' my life. It's just an ordinary life in many ways, and I've been incredibly privileged.
But making decent money on my own terms... that will be part of the new chapter that is now beginning. I hope I can be of some service/use to others. I hope I can unlock my creativity in tangible form. I really, really hope I can slay some of the demons that have haunted (and tormented) me for so long.
Money. Transformation of potential (and values - here's hoping it includes a new self-worth). Re-structuring of self-sufficiency and plenty. Saturn bearing down on natal Pluto in the Second. Abundance.
The image above was taken from this site.
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