Transiting Saturn conjunct natal Pluto, or how I stopped worrying and learned to love the rack

I think the image above is an appropriate one for the experience of transiting Saturn conjunct natal Pluto in the Second House.

It is the rigour arising when past foundations (Saturn, the body) meet with unrelenting, transforming force (Pluto). 

In this case, my means of earning money, but also my self-worth - both Second House issues - are being warped-unto-breaking when combined with the Pluto principle - death and rebirth, (and perhaps hidden resources) - which lurks there natally.

The previous modes of income and their (admittedly scant) corollary - my self value - are being slowly put to death, and if I am wise, I will welcome and embrace this process, because what is dying is outmoded and toxic views of what it means to be valuable. 

Not to mention, what counts - and what is possible - as a viable means of income.

Those of you who have followed the (intermittent) ramblings of this blog, will know that such issues are nothing new for me, but they have been brought (I hope) to their peak by the unrelenting intensity of this transit.

Throw in transiting Saturn opposing natal Venus (in the Eighth), squaring natal Saturn (in the Eleventh) and the near-exact Pluto square (Fifth to Second) and you have a failure-is-not-an-option scenario that requires a fair bit of stamina to withstand.

But it also adds a tremendous impetus to commit to a new course when it comes to money-making and a fresh perspective from which to view myself. 

Which is to say, I'm being forced to consider: where does one draw their worth, if not from their accomplishments, their status, their revenue...?

While there are days when I long to simply find the off button, I know that I'm going to emerge far, far stronger and healthier from this process, and I am grateful for many things I had taken for granted at other, less-taxing times.

All is well, no matter what.

 

The images above were taken from this site and this site.

Affirmations for the new Moon in Leo, in the natal 12th House. Or how to move past total burn-out.

New Moon in Leo today, which falls in my Leonine 12th House. How do I feel? Absolutely exhausted.

Normally, when the Sun is basking in the flamboyant sign it loves best, self-expression and creativity are favoured, as we press on into the fiery heart of the last month of summer.

And I'd have loved to have taken up creative pursuits again - in another life (so it seems), I played music, sang, wrote poetry, short stories, scripts, acted, danced, directed...

But having spent the past five months using every waking minute focusing on learning how to make money through the internet, my brain and personal stamina are flagging. I'm burned out.

It would make sense to take a break from all the finance-oriented stuff, the technical tutorials on 'how to set up this' or 'how to configure that' or 'where to download the other' and the endless ebooks that detail the myriad business plans to a viable money-making endeavour online.

It would make sense simply to surrender (12H) and renew my loyalty (Leo) to my longterm goal of being a working writer-director - a mover and shaker in the performing arts (Leo).

It would make sense to revisit my half-finished feature scripts, rewrite my short screenplays, review the plan for the kids' book I'd intended to write... or even just play my guitar and read for pleasure. Especially with Mercury about to retrograde on August 20.

But I can't.

As transiting Saturn grimly ploughs on through my Second House, inching towards conjoining my natal Pluto in October...

...thereafter to oppose my natal Venus and square my birth Saturn (while transiting Pluto moves closer to squaring its position at my birth)...

...the relentlessness (Pluto-Saturn) of the need to turn around my income and moneymaking ability (Second House) - and with it, transform (Pluto) my self-worth (Second House) by building a solid foundation (Saturn) for my finances - is endless.

And I have to honour that drive, no matter how much unease and anxiety it creates in me to put aside working on my true 'craft'.

So, on this new Moon in Leo:

I give thanks for the pride I will take in the creativity that waits to be tapped into, at the right time.

I give thanks for the professional accomplishments and kudos that hopefully are to come.

And I give thanks for the source of the storytelling that comes from beyond me, and which will flow through me once again... just as soon as I've dealt with these Second House issues of generating income.

(And self-worth).




The image above was taken from this site.

The world is not enough, or more on natal Pluto in the Second

Watch out naysayers... I'm coming... I'm on my way... And I will not be stopped...

No adversary, obstacle or negative thinking will stand in my way.

I'm inexorable, I'm relentless and I move with the invincible, merciless confidence of fate.

Ahem.

I know it's a full moon today, but if you don't mind (and even if you do) this eve I'd rather talk about Pluto.

Specifically my natal Pluto in the second house of earned income, values and self-worth, whose energy just seems to be growing exponentially as Saturn in Libra grows ever closer to conjoining it, and I approach the dreaded Pluto square.

Not to mention the ongoing pressure-cooker of the transiting Saturn-Pluto square as well.

Hence, here be my new credo - because I've really slipped into Saturn-Pluto mode. Which means ruthless. And focused. And inclined to get-to-the-point:

I am through with making dribs and drabs of money.

I am through with the belief that I have no value in the world.

I am through with what the New Age community likes to call 'poverty consciousness'.

To quote the title of the 1999 James Bond film: the world is not enough. No, it sure ain't. That's how hungry to succeed I've become.

My birth Pluto has had it with being financially insecure. And when I say 'had it', I mean that literally. It's been humiliated, it's been frustrated, it's been suppressed and it... has... had... it.

So.

One of the goals I've set myself in 2010, with its powerful manifesting energies and the defiant roar of the Chinese zodiac's archetypal Tiger is to find a way to make money that:

is totally transparent and legal

plays to my strengths in innovation, creativity and ease in communication

allows me flexibility of environment and time

powerfully leverages the effort expended to create a decent income

Even though I come from a conservative, reticent-to-take risks country, in which there seems to be no honest avenue of employment open to a jack-of-all-trades oddball like me...

Even though the break-up with my ex triggered a huge crisis in self-esteem and more anguished searching to finally find a way to stand on my own two feet and prosper...

And even though it seems like my life has been a protracted comedy of errors and ill-advised adventures into industries and modes of living that have no 'clout' or 'status' in the eyes of my peers...

...I have always believed that eventually, somehow, I would find a way to make money on my own terms.

And I am convinced that, even as the world continues to struggle to shake off the effects of the global economic downturn, abundance belongs to all, because we live in an abundant universe that longs to lavish us with prosperity.

And I guess when you have natal Pluto in the second (and the moon in Capricorn), there is no other choice but to harness the relentless drive to succeed.

Succeed, as in: tap the abundance that is everyone's birth-right without harming or burdening anyone else.

Succeed, as in: create wealth that allows for dignity and quality of life.

Succeed, as in: actualise the gifts you were born with, to acquire freedom with security.

When I was younger, I was never bothered by the thought that my money-making prospects were slim to none, given the artistically-inclined, try-it-and-see path I had chosen. Money, itself, meant even less.

But the birth chart, the universe's elegant timepiece, ticking away till the natal energies are activated at the right moment, had always pointed to a lifetime in which, eventually, there would come a great hunger to amass wealth.

So with my natal Pluto opposing natal Venus in the eighth, with both squaring natal Saturn in the 11th, it was always, ultimately, going to lead up to making a crucial choice:

Was I going to be poor or was I going to be rich?

I choose to be rich. And I vow that as the doors of abundance open to me, I will do all in my power to help others - especially those traditionally consigned to 'struggle' - artists, healers, freelancers - to self-actualise in the same way.

Right now, I'm researching a business possibility that looks very viable, even though I'd have to use up most of my savings to kick-start it. Will I take the plunge? More and more, I feel in my heart that I probably will.

Rest assured, you will be the first to know if it turns out to be a successful venture. Downturn or not, if I can turn my finances around, I'm definitely going to give you the information to be able to do it for yourselves, too.

Meanwhile, as the Virgo full moon (which falls in my first house) opposes the Sun-Jupe conjunction in Pisces in my seventh - meticulous drive facing off with the creative potential of high-minded, idealistic partnership - I leave you with two posts on this lunation.

The first from the blog of Elsa Panizzon; the second from the blog of Lynn Hayes. Enjoy.

Looking Ahead: Unlocking the Potential of Saturn-Pluto (and Pluto-Venus)

As a way of distracting myself from the ongoing sadness of the break-up, I'm looking ahead to transiting Saturn's entry into my natal second house as of this October, where natal Pluto awaits for the inevitable conjunction.

You always sense the changing of the guard astrologically before it happens. Especially with the transits of Saturn. Whatever is the issue that will be at the forefront with its ingress into a new sign is already 'in the air' by the time it's finishing up its passage in the sign before.

Saturn is almost done with my Virgo first and I feel like I'm 100 years old. I'm also even skinnier than I was before and wrinklier, too. Which is a rather odd combo, since I'm still considered youthful-looking (despite the advanced age of 34) so now I look like a really young-looking old guy. Weird.

But for a long time now, and growing in tremendous urgency over the last year, has been the issue of income. I'm tired of my hitherto stop-start earnings. I take most of the responsibility for this in that I never wanted a mainstream 9-5 job. In my defence though, my educational background is so varied (and arty) that I don't really fit a mainstream job. Quite apart from which, in Cyprus, the media jobs in the English language (since my English is stronger than my Greek) are few and far between.

However, mostly, I blame myself. If I wanted the security and money badly enough, I'd have sucked up the boredom in what was available and got on with it. That would have been, my natal retrograde Saturn in Cancer reminds me, the mature thing to do.

Now, I'm determined to unlock the doors of abundance in employment and - transiting Jupiter in my Sixth - to do so in a way that is meaningful to me. I am determined to start my shamanic training this August, but before that happens, I'm determined to make the most of my grab-bag of skills to become a truly independent freelancer.

There is another, far more major reason for my reticence to take on a mainstream job in conservative Cyprus, which, for reasons of privacy, I never mention on this blog. One day, I hope that obstacle and its power to make me feel like a freak, to be gone from my life. And perhaps one day, I'll feel brave enough to talk about it openly.

But the fact remains, I'm still more comfortable setting my own hours and working one-on-one with people in a creative/spiritual/healing way. You'd think astrology as a fulltime career would be the answer. But even the best astrologers among us attest to how the profession is not a get-rich-quick field. And with natal Pluto in my second opposite natal Venus in my eighth, I feel there is a much greater store of abundance than I have experienced so far, available to me. Of course, both Pluto and Venus are squared by natal Saturn, so there is huge fear involved with tapping into the power (and wealth) of that Pluto-Venus dynamic.

But I'm determined to heal myself of that fear and start making money. Money will mean more freedom, independence, self-sufficiency, confidence AND flow of energy in other ways. Movement in my life which has been marked by either periods of incredible frenzy and others of seemingly unending stagnancy.

Of course, like many, I tend to 'mythologise' my life. It's just an ordinary life in many ways, and I've been incredibly privileged.

But making decent money on my own terms... that will be part of the new chapter that is now beginning. I hope I can be of some service/use to others. I hope I can unlock my creativity in tangible form. I really, really hope I can slay some of the demons that have haunted (and tormented) me for so long.

Money. Transformation of potential (and values - here's hoping it includes a new self-worth). Re-structuring of self-sufficiency and plenty. Saturn bearing down on natal Pluto in the Second. Abundance.





The image above was taken from this site.