Taurus New Moon - Welcome Abundance

So, it's the Taurus new moon, and I figured I should post something to kick off my return to this blog.

It's been ages since I've posted anything here and, frankly, it takes a lot to be back. The last six months have been fairly taxing emotionally and mentally - even physically, given some needful surgery I underwent this past February.

I'm now back in Nicosia, Cyprus after having flown out from New York City this Monday and having ended my first major relationship - my American ex-girlfriend's decision, not mine. To be honest, I can't get my head, heart and mind round the situation. But perhaps it's for the best. Her reasons for deciding on the break-up were based on our different cultures and paths in life, and our lack of mutual interests. Hearing that you'd think splitting up would be obvious. But we lasted a month shy of six years because of the love and tenderness we had for each other. There was a lot of that, the first three years. And it was wonderful. Certainly the best three years of my life and a level of happiness I never thought I'd enjoy.

If I'm honest with myself, though, I'll admit that we were always different, which was probably always going to be problematic in the long-run. And the kind of affection I mention above had been one-sided (ie from me alone) for a while now - particularly after the half-way point during my forced return to Cyprus from August 2006-October 2008 (due to my scholarship's strict home requirements following my graduation), and the obstacles to her joining me on the island. While we were living apart, her own hopes and dreams surged forth (unsurprising, as Saturn crossed her ascendant just days before I left the USA for my two years of 'exile' in Cyprus) and she began to focus unrelentingly towards realising her dream. She wants to found a charter school where she will be the principal and, in this way, shape children's education. To achieve this, she began collecting all the needful credentials - MBA, MEd, three years of teaching, PhD - while holding down a full-time job, as of March of 2007, leaving her little time for me, but also eventually granting her the insight that we were never going to bond over her passion for education, or over mine for filmmaking and all things spiritual.

So again, I guess she might have done us a huge favour by calling it off. But I'm still in mourning for a shared life I thought would be ours.

Just what has this to do with today's Taurus new moon?

Well, Taurus is a symbol of fertility and abundance, and my ex always symbolised 'plenty' to me. She was the embodiment of the Empress of the Tarot and the cornucopia of all good things; a happy, joyous home where there was always something playful happening, good food being prepared, and much love available to be shared. It might sound unrealistically idealised, but I guess that's part of the meaning of my family-oriented, Saturn in Cancer and Venus trine Neptune (the latter found in my fourth house). In other words, she was the manifestation of all that home and love mean to me.

But now that she is no longer mine in that way, I find I'm more and more open to finding abundance in my own heart and soul. Finding self-sufficiency and plenty inside me. And with Taurus in most of my ninth house, I am focusing on tapping into the abundance and creativity of my 'higher mind' and my higher education. I'm looking toward generating my most mature creative writing, after a wealth of tertiary education, and for it to steer me toward creative plenty and - why be coy about it? - money.

I've always had a troubled relationship with money; when I was growing up, there never seemed to be enough - even though I lacked for nothing and enjoyed a pretty high standard of living - and there was tremendous anxiety about it. Until recently, I was either uninterested in making or having it, or believed I had no aptitude to earn any significant amount. Now I see it as energy, and I'm sending out my gratitude in advance for the plenty in terms of income that is about to open to me. (This is a big issue of trust in the provision of the universe/God, so it's part of my healing process - being fairly left-brained, I tend to doubt the so-called 'law of attraction' without applying myself in a more practical, mundane way to 'getting what I want').

Of course, money can't take the place of the joys of the senses. And it can't buy you love. But perhaps the joy of abundance that is Taurus, whether its a plenty of lucre, literary output or love, will carry me forward toward finding that 'plenty' in a new love again.

Peace, joy, creativity and plenty to all on this Taurus new moon.

Meanwhile, thumbs up to the lovely article on this lunation by Beth Owl's Daughter. You can read it here.






The image above is from the mythic Tarot deck and was taken from this site