Transiting Saturn conjunct natal Pluto, or how I stopped worrying and learned to love the rack

I think the image above is an appropriate one for the experience of transiting Saturn conjunct natal Pluto in the Second House.

It is the rigour arising when past foundations (Saturn, the body) meet with unrelenting, transforming force (Pluto). 

In this case, my means of earning money, but also my self-worth - both Second House issues - are being warped-unto-breaking when combined with the Pluto principle - death and rebirth, (and perhaps hidden resources) - which lurks there natally.

The previous modes of income and their (admittedly scant) corollary - my self value - are being slowly put to death, and if I am wise, I will welcome and embrace this process, because what is dying is outmoded and toxic views of what it means to be valuable. 

Not to mention, what counts - and what is possible - as a viable means of income.

Those of you who have followed the (intermittent) ramblings of this blog, will know that such issues are nothing new for me, but they have been brought (I hope) to their peak by the unrelenting intensity of this transit.

Throw in transiting Saturn opposing natal Venus (in the Eighth), squaring natal Saturn (in the Eleventh) and the near-exact Pluto square (Fifth to Second) and you have a failure-is-not-an-option scenario that requires a fair bit of stamina to withstand.

But it also adds a tremendous impetus to commit to a new course when it comes to money-making and a fresh perspective from which to view myself. 

Which is to say, I'm being forced to consider: where does one draw their worth, if not from their accomplishments, their status, their revenue...?

While there are days when I long to simply find the off button, I know that I'm going to emerge far, far stronger and healthier from this process, and I am grateful for many things I had taken for granted at other, less-taxing times.

All is well, no matter what.

 

The images above were taken from this site and this site.

Exponentially yours, or notes on the Jupiter return

The return of Jupiter to its natal position in a person's birth chart, every 12 years, is a year in which the Jovian theme of expansion tends to play a key role in proceedings.

Not surprising, given that Jupiter is known as the Greater Benefic and associated with all manner of happy turnarounds, fortuitous events and desirable outcomes, traditional astrology will encourage a fairly positive expectation of such times.

Generally speaking, that is.

But mostly, Jupiter's sojourn through any house is a good indicator of amplifying or magnifying whatever state of affairs reigns in that point in the chart, (especially if the house is tenanted by other planets), whether for good or ill.

If, for example - and sorry to rain on Jupe's PR parade - the king of the gods is transiting your seventh house of partnerships, and your marriage or relationship is in trouble, his passage is not necessarily going to coincide with reconciliation or a second honeymoon.

Of course, it could - but far more likely an eventuality is that the issues at the heart of the difficulties in the relationship are made keener, larger than life, magnified. In short, they become expanded.

But should this result in an eventual break-up or parting of the ways, Jupiter through the seventh will at least point to a less-bitter, or more-amicable split than it otherwise might have been (if, say Saturn or Pluto were touring the seventh).

Similarly, if you have Mars in Aries lurking in your second natally, and Jupiter comes to call, a year of increased (over-)expenditure is just as likely as a new and lucrative source of income.

A lot will depend also, of course, on the rest of the chart, in supporting or challenging whatever amplification Jupiter's transits are pointing to.

Now when Jupiter conjuncts his natal position in your chart, oh boy...

...your outlook or beliefs about the world - your inner set of personal laws - get super, super-sized, in a resounding crescendo of the energetic themes present at your birth.

Usually, the year allows for an expanded or broader vision of what our lives could be, and a new awareness of all the possibilities we haven't yet tapped.

And when you have Jupiter conjunct Sun, as I do, I do mean all the possibilities - all of them. At once. Simultaneously. Without mercy.

What the classical texts don't talk about as much is the exhaustion, or burn-out that often coincides with such years. Or indeed - even the latent depression at seeing where you could be... and how far from it you actually are.

Yes, there is usually some kind of excitement in realising that new adventures beckon on the horizon, and often a new sense of meaning to one's personal journey...

...but the Jupiter return can also be a time when it seems like you're being torn to pieces by possibilities, with no real ability to seize on or harness any of them.

Of course, the beginning of a new Jovian 12-year cycle is actually meant to sow seeds, or point us toward a new superhighway of life we may never have known, till then, existed.

But when you have Jupiter-Sun - in Pisces - the possibilities emerging during the J return are so huge... so otherworldly (especially with natal Neptune square Sun)... that it can be really miserable surveying all the terrain with seems physically impossible to cover in one lifetime. Or even 10.






The image above is taken from this site.

Affirmations for the new Moon in Leo, in the natal 12th House. Or how to move past total burn-out.

New Moon in Leo today, which falls in my Leonine 12th House. How do I feel? Absolutely exhausted.

Normally, when the Sun is basking in the flamboyant sign it loves best, self-expression and creativity are favoured, as we press on into the fiery heart of the last month of summer.

And I'd have loved to have taken up creative pursuits again - in another life (so it seems), I played music, sang, wrote poetry, short stories, scripts, acted, danced, directed...

But having spent the past five months using every waking minute focusing on learning how to make money through the internet, my brain and personal stamina are flagging. I'm burned out.

It would make sense to take a break from all the finance-oriented stuff, the technical tutorials on 'how to set up this' or 'how to configure that' or 'where to download the other' and the endless ebooks that detail the myriad business plans to a viable money-making endeavour online.

It would make sense simply to surrender (12H) and renew my loyalty (Leo) to my longterm goal of being a working writer-director - a mover and shaker in the performing arts (Leo).

It would make sense to revisit my half-finished feature scripts, rewrite my short screenplays, review the plan for the kids' book I'd intended to write... or even just play my guitar and read for pleasure. Especially with Mercury about to retrograde on August 20.

But I can't.

As transiting Saturn grimly ploughs on through my Second House, inching towards conjoining my natal Pluto in October...

...thereafter to oppose my natal Venus and square my birth Saturn (while transiting Pluto moves closer to squaring its position at my birth)...

...the relentlessness (Pluto-Saturn) of the need to turn around my income and moneymaking ability (Second House) - and with it, transform (Pluto) my self-worth (Second House) by building a solid foundation (Saturn) for my finances - is endless.

And I have to honour that drive, no matter how much unease and anxiety it creates in me to put aside working on my true 'craft'.

So, on this new Moon in Leo:

I give thanks for the pride I will take in the creativity that waits to be tapped into, at the right time.

I give thanks for the professional accomplishments and kudos that hopefully are to come.

And I give thanks for the source of the storytelling that comes from beyond me, and which will flow through me once again... just as soon as I've dealt with these Second House issues of generating income.

(And self-worth).




The image above was taken from this site.

Venus-Chiron in the Eighth, or naked on love's threshing floor

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh,

but not all of your laughter,

and weep, but not all of your tears.

~ From The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

The position of Venus in the natal chart, together with the aspects it makes to other celestial bodies, offer a snapshot of the native's relationship patterns, as well as insight into their self-love and self-worth.

Or lack thereof.

As Saturn prepares to move into Libra again later this month, relationships and how we tackle them are once more to be highlighted.

If we have been less than able to maintain healthy one-on-one boundaries in the past, or placed unrealistic expectations on significant others, if our personal ties have been power struggles, breeding grounds for resentment or generally a vale of tears, this transit of Saturn, which will last till October 2012, is a window of opportunity to revisit, shed or refine such patterns.

No less for myself, as I continue to be single, and weigh up the cost of ever being partnered again.

With my natal Sun in the Seventh House of partnerships, ties to a significant other are always of major importance. But I must confess that, a year on from my last break-up, there are definite benefits to being solo.

For one thing, there's a welcome lack of having to compromise on important personal interests and activities which the other may have little time (or respect) for. A blissful ease in not having to expend effort and take on the stress of defending positions - intellectual, spiritual or ideological - which clash with the 'beloved's' own.

Plus you never have to worry about your future in-laws, or feel bad that your sleeping patterns are a less-than-perfect match to your partner's. Or that they earn more/less than you do.

However.

As someone whose natal Venus is conjunct Chiron in the Eighth House, despite the pain (Chiron) associated with relationships, and the feeling always of having to earn, or be 'good enough' for love (Venus square Saturn) or the constant anxiety of being annihilated by the beloved's possible rejection (Venus-Chiron opposite Pluto), there is a certain raw quality of longing, that I wouldn't exchange for any amount of suffering.

Yes, in my case, there is an exaggerated romanticism involved (read about the mixed blessing of Venus trine Neptune here), but the transforming depths (Eighth House) of the longing to merge with the beloved, that passionate yearning for total union, the unrelenting need for love, albeit one that brings with it profound wounding (Chiron) - which ultimately brings the cool relief of wisdom - well... it's a dynamic that is ultimately very precious to me.

No one can pine for that union of souls or nurture a divine discontent like a Pisces Sun. Especially one whose Venus-Chiron lie in the mysterious Eighth.




A modified version of the image above was originally taken from this site.

Gemini South Node in the Tenth, or finding work as a stimulation junkie

There are four basic challenges when it comes to finding appropriate, meaningful employment for me:

1. Any job needs to be flexible enough to satisfy the impatience of hyperactive, independent, techno-curious Mars and Mercury in my Sixth

2. It should be communication-based (and, ideally, have some creative, futuristic or humanitarian angle to it), given that both Mars and Mercury are in Aquarius

3. It must provide secure, steady income - 27 degrees of Taurus on the Midheaven

4. It has to involve plenty of mental stimulation, learning, research, novelty, diversity, etc, to appease that insatiable Gemini South Node in the Tenth

As a rule of thumb, many astrologers will advocate against indulging the cravings of the natal SN, or so-called Cauda Draconis, recommending instead that the North Node's attributes be cultivated and harnessed during a lifetime.

One might be forgiven for thinking, therefore, that one must simply turn one's back on and ignore one's SN. "Stand on your South Node, and look to your North," is the rallying cry.

However, there are several astrologers such as Elizabeth Spring, or the great Dane Rudhyar, who hold that the sign and house position of the South Node point to, respectively, "the gold in the South Node" or "the release of seed materials" (from the North Node).

I have to say, I prefer this approach, since it seems rather impossible to completely escape the insistent demands of the SN in our lives. Integrating its concerns with those of the NN seems by far the better modus operandi to live by.

Hence, I like to believe, eventually, that I will find a way of being a footloose sage, able to commit to and hold a noble, expansive vision of life, while being a conduit for 'wisdom' and caring little for worldly success, per my Sagittarius North Node in the Fourth.

And, one would imagine, given that I am a third quarter moon natally, this would be the way to go, rather than chasing success in a multitude of (communication-based) careers that require me to be a constant student, cursorily expanding my skills-base while trying to shine as a craftsman of words, images, thoughts.

Meanwhile, though, it really means the world to me to be able to generate career satisfaction (and cash) the South Node in Gemini way - with as much stimulation and variety and introduction to new experiences as (super)human-ly possible...




The image above was taken from this site.

Neptune (in Sag) in the Fourth, or forever planning the Great Escape

There's a sad sort of ticking from the clock in the hall

And the bells from the steeple, too

And up from the nursery an absurd little bird

Is popping out to say, "Cuckoo"

"Cuckoo!"

"Cuckoo!"

Regretfully they tell us

-- but firmly they compel us

-- to say goodbye... to... you!

Everyone get the reference? That's from the Sound of Music, of course. The very first film I ever saw on the big screen - back when English-language films were still kind of a special occurrence in Cyprus - even though Cypriots have always liked their movies.

My Sagittarian, film-buff mother was the one who took me to see it. She insisted. It was of grave importance to be exposed to cinema at an early age. Indeed, to all the arts - some lesser or greater in the grand scheme of things.

Just as she was adamant that I be taken to the circus whenever a company was in town (even though she - and swiftly, I, too,) found such shows deathly dull.

But entertainment wasn't the point. What mattered was cultivating an appreciation for spectacle, self-expression and the celebration of creative freedom.

Such pursuits- and of course, travelling - were always a huge deal for my Archer mama.

And she it was again, who handed me T. S. Eliot's poem "The Wasteland", when I was about 13 or 14, saying she thought it would be good for me to read. And so it was, even though, having read it at that age, I had no real clue as to what it was actually about.

Nonetheless, I was sufficiently captivated by the strange collage of imagery, arcane symbolism and modernist erudition to write a graduate paper on "The Wasteland", many years later.

Come to think of it, it was probably the best paper I wrote during those particular studies, and one made possible by my built-in love for the poem, even before studying it. All because of my mother's recommendation.

Meanwhile, two years after I wrote that essay, I went on to study directing at film school, which finally allowed me to create and express myself in the context of a professional vocation. So you might say my mother set into motion an artistic reverberation that will probably continue till I die.

Which is odd, you see, because I have the Moon in sombre, responsible, ambitious, worldly Capricorn.

Herein lies the beauty of any natal blueprint. We are to expect paradox, contradiction, opposition, metaphor, foreshadowing, enigma... yet all the different elements of a birth chart can still be synthesised into an elegant, multi-layered whole.

(Well, with a bit of self-knowledge and effort, that is.)

My mother definitely is the Moon in Capricorn for me. She has always modelled prudent, strategic behaviour - vital, given the weight of the family responsibilities she has carried from her first Saturn Return till the present. We are a large family in which she is the eldest and - according to the Armenian/Mediterranean order of things - therefore consigned to attend to everyone else's needs. This despite her own desire for freedom and all-consuming hunger to see the world.

Yet for all the admirable Capricornian caution, hard work and prudentia, her instincts have always been to ride off towards the horizon, unshackled and free. Because of course, she is also that fiery Neptune in Sagittarius in my natal Fourth*.

I've only just realised this because lately I've had a huge spike in my (ever-free-floating) guilt at my current lack of familial - or even worldly - responsibility. Yet while prepping a client's chart for a reading, I stumbled across a keynote for Neptune in the Fourth house which spoke of an inherent compulsion 'to escape'.

And beyond the minor eureka of: "No wonder I always want to forgo being tied down to anyone or anything", there was the far more major illumination of: "My mother's harboured that desire, albeit in its repressed form, since I was born".

Now let me be clear. My mother is a very responsible human being. She really IS the Cappie Moon. And her British boarding school years have certainly inclined her to be pragmatic and practical about most things.

But what it has cost her to manage a variety of familial burdens has been mine to witness first-hand. And thus, from time to time, the sheer panic that one day my own freedom might be curtailed due to social and familial expectation, is absolutely overwhelming.

At such moments, I catch myself thinking: could I live with the guilt of running away and shirking every responsibility in the book? On the other hand: could I live with the suffocating frustration of being 'dutiful'?

This sort of introspection inevitably leads down the familiar spiral of guilt and fear. But I know enough about my own psychological development now (not to mention, my own astrological transits and progressions) to realise there are other factors at play in the collective which are ramping up my unease.

Not to mention, there are other signatures in my chart - Saturn trine Sun, Virgo ascendant, Mars and Mercury in the Sixth - that actually incline me toward taking charge in areas of service and duty.

Nonetheless, I do wonder, if the day should come that I am asked to put my own needs aside to serve the wider family, whether I will successfully subjugate my own desires per the Capricorn Moon, or gallop towards the sunset, shaking off social moraes and expectations as I go, accepting the responsibility of being true to myself and free.

Sagittarius Neptune in the Fourth would certainly know the answer to that...


* Classical astrology would have given that Neptune to my father (who, interestingly enough, is a Capricorn Sun with a whole lot of fire). But modern astrology is less willing to assign a fixed parental gender to the Fourth and Tenth Houses, and that's the approach I take.



The image above was taken from this site.

Chiron matters, or why the painkillers don't work

And so it was that Ninth, on a tender spring night, sat musing on his natal Chiron in Aries.

The one mashed up against his birth Venus, also in Aries, the two of them trapped in the depths of the Eighth House. Opposite Libra Pluto in the Second.

Ninth reflected that the ache from his wound-that-did-not-heal had led to some surprising results, thus far.

Especially given the endless efforts since childhood to soothe it.

There had been a certain amount of wisdom gleaned from the study of various philosophies or cosmological systems, with which to address similar pains of others.

There had been a measure of cultivation of resilience and patience with regards woundings to identity, selfhood and intimacy.

There had been lessons learned from less-than-joyous encounters with significant others - an understanding of personal boundaries and an eventual acknowledgment of needful self-love, self-acceptance.

There had been a growing awareness that aggression and ego-driven competition would never be enough to dull the pain.

But mostly there had been the mounting realisation that this injury was not one whose scab would simply drop off when the time was right, leaving behind only the barest cicatrice.

No, it was a hurt that was there to stay, the better to prompt the native to learn to heal others; it was, in fact, never meant to be salved or relieved or made better.

And that simply had to suffice.




The image above was taken from this site.

Could Chile quake have caused the New Age 'Pole Shift'?

Found this posted on Yahoo News just now:

Chile Earthquake May Have Shortened Days on Earth

The massive 8.8 earthquake that struck Chile may have changed the entire Earth's rotation and shortened the length of days on our planet, a NASA scientist said Monday.

The quake, the seventh strongest earthquake in recorded history, hit Chile Saturday and should have shortened the length of an Earth day by 1.26 milliseconds, according to research scientist Richard Gross at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, Calif.

"Perhaps more impressive is how much the quake shifted Earth's axis," NASA officials said in a Monday update.

The computer model used by Gross and his colleagues to determine the effects of the Chile earthquake effect also found that it should have moved Earth's figure axis by about 3 inches (8 cm or 27 milliarcseconds).

The Earth's figure axis is not the same as its north-south axis, which it spins around once every day at a speed of about 1,000 mph (1,604 kph).

The figure axis is the axis around which the Earth's mass is balanced. It is offset from the Earth's north-south axis by about 33 feet (10 meters).

Could this be read as the long-awaited 'pole shift' that some parts of the New Age community have been anticipating? Pre-cursor to what the doomsayers believe is 2012's Armageddon?

Personally, I think not. But you can read the rest of the post here.

And if you want more detail on the topic to put your minds at rest, go here.



The image above was taken from this site.

The world is not enough, or more on natal Pluto in the Second

Watch out naysayers... I'm coming... I'm on my way... And I will not be stopped...

No adversary, obstacle or negative thinking will stand in my way.

I'm inexorable, I'm relentless and I move with the invincible, merciless confidence of fate.

Ahem.

I know it's a full moon today, but if you don't mind (and even if you do) this eve I'd rather talk about Pluto.

Specifically my natal Pluto in the second house of earned income, values and self-worth, whose energy just seems to be growing exponentially as Saturn in Libra grows ever closer to conjoining it, and I approach the dreaded Pluto square.

Not to mention the ongoing pressure-cooker of the transiting Saturn-Pluto square as well.

Hence, here be my new credo - because I've really slipped into Saturn-Pluto mode. Which means ruthless. And focused. And inclined to get-to-the-point:

I am through with making dribs and drabs of money.

I am through with the belief that I have no value in the world.

I am through with what the New Age community likes to call 'poverty consciousness'.

To quote the title of the 1999 James Bond film: the world is not enough. No, it sure ain't. That's how hungry to succeed I've become.

My birth Pluto has had it with being financially insecure. And when I say 'had it', I mean that literally. It's been humiliated, it's been frustrated, it's been suppressed and it... has... had... it.

So.

One of the goals I've set myself in 2010, with its powerful manifesting energies and the defiant roar of the Chinese zodiac's archetypal Tiger is to find a way to make money that:

is totally transparent and legal

plays to my strengths in innovation, creativity and ease in communication

allows me flexibility of environment and time

powerfully leverages the effort expended to create a decent income

Even though I come from a conservative, reticent-to-take risks country, in which there seems to be no honest avenue of employment open to a jack-of-all-trades oddball like me...

Even though the break-up with my ex triggered a huge crisis in self-esteem and more anguished searching to finally find a way to stand on my own two feet and prosper...

And even though it seems like my life has been a protracted comedy of errors and ill-advised adventures into industries and modes of living that have no 'clout' or 'status' in the eyes of my peers...

...I have always believed that eventually, somehow, I would find a way to make money on my own terms.

And I am convinced that, even as the world continues to struggle to shake off the effects of the global economic downturn, abundance belongs to all, because we live in an abundant universe that longs to lavish us with prosperity.

And I guess when you have natal Pluto in the second (and the moon in Capricorn), there is no other choice but to harness the relentless drive to succeed.

Succeed, as in: tap the abundance that is everyone's birth-right without harming or burdening anyone else.

Succeed, as in: create wealth that allows for dignity and quality of life.

Succeed, as in: actualise the gifts you were born with, to acquire freedom with security.

When I was younger, I was never bothered by the thought that my money-making prospects were slim to none, given the artistically-inclined, try-it-and-see path I had chosen. Money, itself, meant even less.

But the birth chart, the universe's elegant timepiece, ticking away till the natal energies are activated at the right moment, had always pointed to a lifetime in which, eventually, there would come a great hunger to amass wealth.

So with my natal Pluto opposing natal Venus in the eighth, with both squaring natal Saturn in the 11th, it was always, ultimately, going to lead up to making a crucial choice:

Was I going to be poor or was I going to be rich?

I choose to be rich. And I vow that as the doors of abundance open to me, I will do all in my power to help others - especially those traditionally consigned to 'struggle' - artists, healers, freelancers - to self-actualise in the same way.

Right now, I'm researching a business possibility that looks very viable, even though I'd have to use up most of my savings to kick-start it. Will I take the plunge? More and more, I feel in my heart that I probably will.

Rest assured, you will be the first to know if it turns out to be a successful venture. Downturn or not, if I can turn my finances around, I'm definitely going to give you the information to be able to do it for yourselves, too.

Meanwhile, as the Virgo full moon (which falls in my first house) opposes the Sun-Jupe conjunction in Pisces in my seventh - meticulous drive facing off with the creative potential of high-minded, idealistic partnership - I leave you with two posts on this lunation.

The first from the blog of Elsa Panizzon; the second from the blog of Lynn Hayes. Enjoy.

Sixth house in Aquarius, or hurry up and wait

I'm not sure which of you out there are still reading. I keep disappearing, so I don't blame anyone if you think I'm the most erratic blogger on the planet :)

As I mentioned to Funkstar, who was kind enough to enquire after me (and nominate me for a Kreativ Blogger Award) given my absence - my life has been taken over by various mundane, yet time-consuming efforts to make changes.

Namely, hunting for and eventually investing in a second-hand car, dealing with the various mechanical and legal requirements arising from that transaction, dealing with a malfunctioning computer (my lifeline!), while preparing to move into a new apartment with a friend from work.

This is actually pretty stressful for me, I must say, though that is profoundly embarrassing to admit. Fact is, familiarity, ritual and routine are very important for me (Virgo rising, tenanted sixth), yet our culture sneers at such preferences in men.

We're all supposed to be adventurous he-men, swinging virile-ly like Tarzan from one tree-top to the next, always in control, always mastering any crisis, always hungry for new conquests or territory on which to leave our mark.

Well, that's not exactly me.

However, my real point (hence the title of this post) is that I have a naturally erratic rhythm, even though I endeavour to over-compensate by being overly organised.

I'm built to be constantly in motion and doing things, but that doesn't mean I'll do needful things in the order they're meant to be done, or even have consistent access to my 'doing'-ness.

I often need the adrenaline rush of last minute stringency to kick me into action. I'm so envious of the patient, step-by-step ability to plod and accomplish of, say, Taureans!

Of course, this causes my meticulous Virgo ascendant no end of frustration.

But even my Cappie Moon can only go so far in remedying the situation... I may have the calculating ambition of the sign (read about my dark side here), but this Moon is in the last degree of the Sea Goat, and practically in Aquarius, the air sign famous for its abrupt shifts, reversals and mysterious inertia.

Which brings me to my sixth house in Aquarius.

I have Mars and Mercury in that house, both in Aquarius, and Mars actually conjoins my Moon, both squared by Uranus, the modern ruler of Aquarius.

Western astrologers usually look to the sixth house to discover the state of a client's health (or lack thereof), his/her work colleagues, pets and generally the people they meet when going about their day - florists, grocers, tobacconists, dentists, cobblers and so forth.

But ultimately, this house is about how we 'operate' on the day-to-day level. Or, as Dana Gerhardt puts it, in her excellent series on the astrological houses over at Astrodienst:

"The 6th refers to daily time and how we spend it."

Most of the time, I am 'humming' with energy, which I expend either via the internet, furiously working out (when I can afford the gym) or zipping along sidewalks from task to task.There's a reason I walk a lot, despite having access to wheels!

Aquarius Mercury in the sixth needs constant connection with and to collective data - hence my enormous need to be online, and the several books, manuals, audio classes or podcasts I'll be reading or listening to at any given time.

Aquarius Mars in the sixth needs to get anything boring or mundane over in a flash. Preferably by taking a radical approach and/or missing out 'logical' steps in the process.

Put these two planets together and the actual timing of any of my actions is unpredictable, erratic. This is only amplified by that Mars-Uranus square.

I love to plan and construct ideal schedules or timetables in my mind, from the breakdown of a day, a week, a month all the way to my broader lifespan. But the timing is almost completely out of my control. And consistency isn't, to my chagrin, one of my fortes.

The tension of my 'holding back' until the adrenaline builds to the appropriate level, is enormous. Meanwhile, I'm constantly antsy, often anxious. I'm the guy who taps his foot inadvertently or needs to be twirling pens in his fingers while thinking.

Moving, moving, moving... but not always in motion. What I'm essentially doing is furiously treading water until the adrenaline kicks in and I can really 'swim' or commit to a direction.

Hence the stop-start nature of this blog :)

Interestingly enough, Gerhardt also mentions that Dane Rudhyar looked to the sixth house to see how we resolve crises. In which, case, the universe has me singled out for leaping into the saddle only when my pants are on fire.

Aquarius, like all air signs, likes to keep its options open and is loath to choose one thing over another. As a fixed sign, it also has its own inertia to overcome.

But boy, when it gets going, like a lightning flash it goes. And of course, inertia works the other way, too... once started, it just can't stop!





The image above was taken from this site.