Tuesday, August 10, 2010
New Moon in Leo today, which falls in my Leonine 12th House. How do I feel? Absolutely exhausted.
Normally, when the Sun is basking in the flamboyant sign it loves best, self-expression and creativity are favoured, as we press on into the fiery heart of the last month of summer.
And I'd have loved to have taken up creative pursuits again - in another life (so it seems), I played music, sang, wrote poetry, short stories, scripts, acted, danced, directed...
But having spent the past five months using every waking minute focusing on learning how to make money through the internet, my brain and personal stamina are flagging. I'm burned out.
It would make sense to take a break from all the finance-oriented stuff, the technical tutorials on 'how to set up this' or 'how to configure that' or 'where to download the other' and the endless ebooks that detail the myriad business plans to a viable money-making endeavour online.
It would make sense simply to surrender (12H) and renew my loyalty (Leo) to my longterm goal of being a working writer-director - a mover and shaker in the performing arts (Leo).
It would make sense to revisit my half-finished feature scripts, rewrite my short screenplays, review the plan for the kids' book I'd intended to write... or even just play my guitar and read for pleasure. Especially with Mercury about to retrograde on August 20.
But I can't.
As transiting Saturn grimly ploughs on through my Second House, inching towards conjoining my natal Pluto in October...
...thereafter to oppose my natal Venus and square my birth Saturn (while transiting Pluto moves closer to squaring its position at my birth)...
...the relentlessness (Pluto-Saturn) of the need to turn around my income and moneymaking ability (Second House) - and with it, transform (Pluto) my self-worth (Second House) by building a solid foundation (Saturn) for my finances - is endless.
And I have to honour that drive, no matter how much unease and anxiety it creates in me to put aside working on my true 'craft'.
So, on this new Moon in Leo:
I give thanks for the pride I will take in the creativity that waits to be tapped into, at the right time.
I give thanks for the professional accomplishments and kudos that hopefully are to come.
And I give thanks for the source of the storytelling that comes from beyond me, and which will flow through me once again... just as soon as I've dealt with these Second House issues of generating income.
The image above was taken from this site.