Looking Ahead: Unlocking the Potential of Saturn-Pluto (and Pluto-Venus)

As a way of distracting myself from the ongoing sadness of the break-up, I'm looking ahead to transiting Saturn's entry into my natal second house as of this October, where natal Pluto awaits for the inevitable conjunction.

You always sense the changing of the guard astrologically before it happens. Especially with the transits of Saturn. Whatever is the issue that will be at the forefront with its ingress into a new sign is already 'in the air' by the time it's finishing up its passage in the sign before.

Saturn is almost done with my Virgo first and I feel like I'm 100 years old. I'm also even skinnier than I was before and wrinklier, too. Which is a rather odd combo, since I'm still considered youthful-looking (despite the advanced age of 34) so now I look like a really young-looking old guy. Weird.

But for a long time now, and growing in tremendous urgency over the last year, has been the issue of income. I'm tired of my hitherto stop-start earnings. I take most of the responsibility for this in that I never wanted a mainstream 9-5 job. In my defence though, my educational background is so varied (and arty) that I don't really fit a mainstream job. Quite apart from which, in Cyprus, the media jobs in the English language (since my English is stronger than my Greek) are few and far between.

However, mostly, I blame myself. If I wanted the security and money badly enough, I'd have sucked up the boredom in what was available and got on with it. That would have been, my natal retrograde Saturn in Cancer reminds me, the mature thing to do.

Now, I'm determined to unlock the doors of abundance in employment and - transiting Jupiter in my Sixth - to do so in a way that is meaningful to me. I am determined to start my shamanic training this August, but before that happens, I'm determined to make the most of my grab-bag of skills to become a truly independent freelancer.

There is another, far more major reason for my reticence to take on a mainstream job in conservative Cyprus, which, for reasons of privacy, I never mention on this blog. One day, I hope that obstacle and its power to make me feel like a freak, to be gone from my life. And perhaps one day, I'll feel brave enough to talk about it openly.

But the fact remains, I'm still more comfortable setting my own hours and working one-on-one with people in a creative/spiritual/healing way. You'd think astrology as a fulltime career would be the answer. But even the best astrologers among us attest to how the profession is not a get-rich-quick field. And with natal Pluto in my second opposite natal Venus in my eighth, I feel there is a much greater store of abundance than I have experienced so far, available to me. Of course, both Pluto and Venus are squared by natal Saturn, so there is huge fear involved with tapping into the power (and wealth) of that Pluto-Venus dynamic.

But I'm determined to heal myself of that fear and start making money. Money will mean more freedom, independence, self-sufficiency, confidence AND flow of energy in other ways. Movement in my life which has been marked by either periods of incredible frenzy and others of seemingly unending stagnancy.

Of course, like many, I tend to 'mythologise' my life. It's just an ordinary life in many ways, and I've been incredibly privileged.

But making decent money on my own terms... that will be part of the new chapter that is now beginning. I hope I can be of some service/use to others. I hope I can unlock my creativity in tangible form. I really, really hope I can slay some of the demons that have haunted (and tormented) me for so long.

Money. Transformation of potential (and values - here's hoping it includes a new self-worth). Re-structuring of self-sufficiency and plenty. Saturn bearing down on natal Pluto in the Second. Abundance.





The image above was taken from this site.

Eight of Cups - Mourning the Past

The second time my ex and I broke up was this New Year's day. That's right, before the current permanent parting, we'd had two earlier dress rehearsals.

To elaborate: on January 1st of this year, we decided to split up again and I fell into such a funk I hopped over to Llewellyn's Web Tarot and did a free online spread based on my relationship woes - mostly to see if there was a shred of hope to be had.

Not a chance.

The spread was a Celtic Cross (the only one I really have some knowledge of - I'm no Tarot expert) and the outcome was the eight of cups. Which, in the mythic tarot deck I generally use, signifies mourning, and a descent into the underworld as the consequence of a relationship-associated death.

We later decided to hang on in there to give things one last shot, so I thought the cards to have been mistaken.

I was wrong.

Mourning is a very important part of the grieving (and healing) process I'm told. Experientially, it feels awful - especially if, as the grief gurus recommend - we don't fight or distract ourselves from feeling our pain, but rather embrace it.

That's why, from what I gather, observant Jews 'sit shiva' after a death, whereby those who are bereaved are required to do nothing but sit and encounter their grief again and again and again for a specified period. To really enter the underworld of mourning.

And then, at the end of that specified time, they are to resume the normal course of their lives. Which all sounds eminently sensible to me and is probably one of the healthiest ways to gain closure.

But whichever way you tackle it, it's still painful as hell.






The image above was taken from this site.

The Pitch is All

It's starting to happen. Early days and baby steps aside, I pitched my feature film idea for a noir thriller in Cyprus this evening and the filmmaker friends who were my audience - and potential collaborators - seemed genuinely interested.

Now all I need to do - no small task - is to write the feature script. It'll be a film that explodes some pretty major taboos in Cyprus, so I do hope it gets made so as to get a decent dialogue going about certain socially repressed topics.

I say no more, but I have to use the upcoming Mercury retrograde in Gemini (most of my midheaven - which houses my South node, too) to really nail down the plot, so I can use June for writing a decent first draft.

Really excited. And really missing my ex. Sigh. How I wish I could share my anticipation with her







The above image was taken from this site.

Capricorn Moon at the Anaretic Degree, Or Why You Shouldn't Mess With Your Natal Planets

Some time ago, one of the astrologers whose blog I enjoy reading, Elsa Panizzon of ElsaElsa.com, observed (and I'm paraphrasing here) that not to acknowledge the specifics of your planets' signs/houses/aspects, is to cheat yourself of the meaning of your chart. It is to over-ride the message of the planets at the moment of your birth. In other words, it is to put yourself 'above' the planets and the energies (and balance) they stand for in your life.

For example, my natal Moon is to be found at 29 degrees, 38 minutes of Capricorn. Some astrologers use the term 'anaretic' for this final degree. If you wanted to argue the point, you could say it was in Aquarius. I mean, it's almost there - less than a degree away from the next sign.

And Aquarius would seem, on the surface of it, to well explain my Saturn-ruled early life (and mother), with the added desire to up-end convention in service to the wider needs of humanity, as well as to be rebelliously 'different'.

These things are true of me, but they are not marked by the placement of my Moon. Rather, they are symbolised by my Aquarian Mars and Mercury. And, no doubt, the sextile to my Virgo ascendant from natal Uranus in Scorpio.

My desire, my early life, my mother, even my heritage or clan, however, is still distinctly Capricornian. In my case, my driving need is to build something in order to attain achievement, distinction, respect, prestige or authority. When I am at my most instinctual (read: under attack, under pressure, threatened) I repress my emotions and turn coolly to leading. In fact, I'm as comfortable leading as I am serving - which is a strange thing indeed for a Pisces Sun, Virgo rising.

Not to mention that, despite that annoying South Node in my 10th house, I find it really, really hard to put aside the drive to shine careerwise and to gain supreme respect among my colleagues.

I've often found such vast ambition troubling and out of synch with my endeavour to lead a more modest and self-deprecating life - and to better the lot of others in some way.

Nevertheless, the fact remains that my Moon remains in Capricorn and, no matter how much I may try to deny it, the energy of it is always there.

Meanwhile, the anaretic degree of a sign is held by astrologers who integrate the idea of Karma or past lives into their interpretation of a chart, to be particularly portentous in that the native has 'one last chance' in this lifetime to learn the lessons of that particular sign.

Interestingly enough, my natal Moon is at the end of the Fifth House and could be read as also in the Sixth. Which is perfect because I have always desired (Moon) to put my creativity and art (Fifth House) into service for others (Aquarian Sixth).

In short, I'd agree with Elsa. Don't try and round off the numbers or fudge the placements of your planets. They're exactly where they were for a particular reason: to give you your unique blueprint for this lifetime.






The image above was taken from this site.

Ever Feel Astrologically Under Siege?

Sometimes, as much as I enjoy astrology, I find it hard not to get somewhat discouraged by the - frequently sombre - longterm interpretations of the ongoing transits, particularly when it comes to the slower-moving outer planets.

Yes, I realise everyone's experiencing the challenges in various areas of their lives. Yes, I get that we're collectively sharing the growing pains of a new order. Yes, I understand that the more 'dynamic' aspects needn't 'hurt' if we are open to change.

But every now and then, I'm sick of reading about it. I don't want to know whether or not Mars or Venus are going retrograde tomorrow or if they're about to square Pluto (which is thereafter to be squared by Saturn in Libra and Uranus in Aries). And I'm truly better off ignorant about a new or full moon being afflicted by hostile planetary configurations.

By this point, I'm sure there are plenty of Saturnian or Plutonian types who are smirking at reading this:

'Listen to the pathetic Pisces shaking in his boots. Aw, is the poor fishy afraid? Does he want his mommy? Just shaddap and take it like a man, worm!'

Quite. And those types can go read more macho content elsewhere. Joking apart, there are plenty of excellent astrologers with worthy blogs listed on the right of this post, providing valuable analyses of the heavens' import.

But for those, like me, who get weary, every now and then, from hearing how we all need to 'let go' and 'surrender' and 'move forward', because 'whatever's gone is so over it ain't even funny', check out Kim Gould's alternative melange of metaphysical systems at: loveyourdesign. In fact, I'm going to add it now to my list of fave astro links.

No offence to anyone meant, or, I hope, taken. I guess if I can't take the heat, I should hop off the ecliptic.






The image above was taken from this site.

Jack Nicholson, Taurus Par Excellence

Jack Nicholson is much on my mind these days, given how this Taurean native is the epitome of the unhurried, earthy, macho type who won't surrender his pleasures, even when the price to be paid is higher than he can afford.

Allow me to explain.

Since my breakup with my ex (see my earlier post on this here), I've been focused on pouring myself into my filmmaking career. Indeed, the better part of the past six months I spent in New York (a city I intend to make my home some day) was spent re-connecting with my fellow film alums from Columbia University's graduate film programme.

My aim is to write a feature script - a film noir - set in Cyprus, to launch my career as a writer/director. I figure the island of my birth might just be the happy hunting ground I need for a first full-length film, and hopefully the relatively good impression which was left by the short I wrote and directed last year will help things happen for me.

Given my interest in the noir form, I keep coming back to two films for inspiration: Chinatown and The Crying Game, though of course, neither film is a true example of the genre. However, Chinatown has been particularly informative, not only for its dazzling direction and glamorous production design, but the charismatic performances by Faye Dunaway and, in particular, Taurean man's man, Jack Nicholson.

All things considered, thoughts of his performance are quite fitting given the sun is now in Taurus, and I wonder whether I'll end up modelling my story's anti-hero on Nicholson, or on Scorpio sun (and zodiacal opposite to Taurus) Stephen Rea, who is the protagonist of The Crying Game.

Fascinating actors both. Tough, tough choice. Stay tuned.






This still from Chinatown was taking from this site.

Taurus New Moon - Welcome Abundance

So, it's the Taurus new moon, and I figured I should post something to kick off my return to this blog.

It's been ages since I've posted anything here and, frankly, it takes a lot to be back. The last six months have been fairly taxing emotionally and mentally - even physically, given some needful surgery I underwent this past February.

I'm now back in Nicosia, Cyprus after having flown out from New York City this Monday and having ended my first major relationship - my American ex-girlfriend's decision, not mine. To be honest, I can't get my head, heart and mind round the situation. But perhaps it's for the best. Her reasons for deciding on the break-up were based on our different cultures and paths in life, and our lack of mutual interests. Hearing that you'd think splitting up would be obvious. But we lasted a month shy of six years because of the love and tenderness we had for each other. There was a lot of that, the first three years. And it was wonderful. Certainly the best three years of my life and a level of happiness I never thought I'd enjoy.

If I'm honest with myself, though, I'll admit that we were always different, which was probably always going to be problematic in the long-run. And the kind of affection I mention above had been one-sided (ie from me alone) for a while now - particularly after the half-way point during my forced return to Cyprus from August 2006-October 2008 (due to my scholarship's strict home requirements following my graduation), and the obstacles to her joining me on the island. While we were living apart, her own hopes and dreams surged forth (unsurprising, as Saturn crossed her ascendant just days before I left the USA for my two years of 'exile' in Cyprus) and she began to focus unrelentingly towards realising her dream. She wants to found a charter school where she will be the principal and, in this way, shape children's education. To achieve this, she began collecting all the needful credentials - MBA, MEd, three years of teaching, PhD - while holding down a full-time job, as of March of 2007, leaving her little time for me, but also eventually granting her the insight that we were never going to bond over her passion for education, or over mine for filmmaking and all things spiritual.

So again, I guess she might have done us a huge favour by calling it off. But I'm still in mourning for a shared life I thought would be ours.

Just what has this to do with today's Taurus new moon?

Well, Taurus is a symbol of fertility and abundance, and my ex always symbolised 'plenty' to me. She was the embodiment of the Empress of the Tarot and the cornucopia of all good things; a happy, joyous home where there was always something playful happening, good food being prepared, and much love available to be shared. It might sound unrealistically idealised, but I guess that's part of the meaning of my family-oriented, Saturn in Cancer and Venus trine Neptune (the latter found in my fourth house). In other words, she was the manifestation of all that home and love mean to me.

But now that she is no longer mine in that way, I find I'm more and more open to finding abundance in my own heart and soul. Finding self-sufficiency and plenty inside me. And with Taurus in most of my ninth house, I am focusing on tapping into the abundance and creativity of my 'higher mind' and my higher education. I'm looking toward generating my most mature creative writing, after a wealth of tertiary education, and for it to steer me toward creative plenty and - why be coy about it? - money.

I've always had a troubled relationship with money; when I was growing up, there never seemed to be enough - even though I lacked for nothing and enjoyed a pretty high standard of living - and there was tremendous anxiety about it. Until recently, I was either uninterested in making or having it, or believed I had no aptitude to earn any significant amount. Now I see it as energy, and I'm sending out my gratitude in advance for the plenty in terms of income that is about to open to me. (This is a big issue of trust in the provision of the universe/God, so it's part of my healing process - being fairly left-brained, I tend to doubt the so-called 'law of attraction' without applying myself in a more practical, mundane way to 'getting what I want').

Of course, money can't take the place of the joys of the senses. And it can't buy you love. But perhaps the joy of abundance that is Taurus, whether its a plenty of lucre, literary output or love, will carry me forward toward finding that 'plenty' in a new love again.

Peace, joy, creativity and plenty to all on this Taurus new moon.

Meanwhile, thumbs up to the lovely article on this lunation by Beth Owl's Daughter. You can read it here.






The image above is from the mythic Tarot deck and was taken from this site