Do You Believe in Fairies? (Or a Meditation on Puer Aeternus/Puella Aeterna)

This is a post in honour of the Sun entering Gemini later today, and the puer aeternus/puella aeterna (eternal child) which this lovely sign is an archetype of.

So, here's the thing: do you believe in fairies? I mean fairies as in faerie folk, not the gentlemen who appreciate other gentlemen.

I think I've always believed in them. The former, I mean (nothing against the latter either of course).

Even as a supposedly sober, left-brained, rational, put-away-childish-things adult wannabe, in my heart of hearts, I always thought the world was magic, with magical denizens of every kind.

*** WARNING: overly Saturnian folks, you may wish to skip the rest of this post altogether ***

Which includes us, by the way. I believe humans have their own magic.

Actually, from parsing various occult books, it seems magic is no more nor less than harnessing one's will toward manifestation. But that seems far less fun a way of thinking about it.

I guess the cool bit about magic (and fairies etc.) is not putting together definitions to categorise them (though I suppose Virgo-rising might enjoy that), but rather embracing their mystery.

Oh dear, another happy New Age phrase, embracing mystery.

No matter, let it stand. I believe anyone even vaguely creative and childlike can only delight in how much we don't know. It's about wonder and discovery and the pleasure at not knowing what could be round the next corner. Something wonderful or horrifying, or both. Something wise, something mischievous. Something altogether tragic and noble.

One of the authors who never lost the fairy spirit of the puer aeternus was Ray Bradbury (and C. S. Lewis, of course - and Lewis Carroll). And Michael Ende. And Neil Gaiman. Can't forget J. M. Barrie, either - he'd be the puer aeternus personified.

I'm 34 and I still delight in their writing, and one day, when I have kids, it will be my utter breamish joy to introduce them to the endless worlds of innocence and adventure. And danger, too, of course. Fairies so often end up where they shouldn't be. And sometimes, there's a terrible price to pay.

But what of that? We need dragons and witches, too. Not to mention the odd ogre army. Spices things up a bit. Gets the blood going. Makes the treasure worth having (and you know there's always treasure where there be dragonnes).

As I continue to observe outdoor rehearsals of Midsummer Night's Dream, which a local Anglophone theatre group is putting on later in June, I'm really feeling that innocence and joy inside me, fighting to return, despite the recent sorrows.

Hurrah for the time of Gemini!

I definitely, absolutely, without-a-doubt, 101 percent, believe in fairies. Do you?






The lovely image above was taken from this site.

Taurus versus Sagittarius: The Domestic Life of the Bull and Archer

Sometimes, as unlikely a pairing as it may seem from the astrological point of view, Taurus and Sagittarius decide to get married.

I have observed this scenario for most of my life at close quarters, so this evening I bring you a little scene of domesticity between the bull and the archer, inspired somewhat by real events.

*******

TAURUS

(calling from the kitchen

to SAGITTARIUS):

I know your tendency to waste

time - start wrapping up whatever

you're doing because we're eating at eight.

SAGITTARIUS

(Arranging the 300+ photos from her last trip

while comparing hotel prices online)

What d'you mean? We only just had lunch!

TAURUS

We had lunch a full four hours ago

and I'm hungry. Anyway, don't argue,

we're eating at eight and that's final.

Where'd we keep the cumin?

SAGITTARIUS

Cumin? Don't tell me you're cooking?

TAURUS

Of course I'm cooking, we're having

dinner aren't we? Left to you we'd be

eating bread and cheese again.

SAGITTARIUS

(miffed)

What d'you mean again, I

made pasta for lunch didn't I?

TAURUS

You boiled the water you mean.

I made the sauce, added fresh

herbs and made sure we had extra

grated cheese. Speaking of, if we eat

any more bread and cheese we'll

turn into bloody bread and cheese!

SAGITTARIUS

(Grumbling under her breath)

What's wrong with bread and cheese

anyway? How many meals am I

expected to come up with every day?

(Calling to Taurus)

What are you making?

TAURUS

The chicken breasts in a yoghurt sauce.

Where'd'you keep the cumin?

SAGITTARIUS

Third shelf on the left.

Hang on... I was saving that

chicken for Thursday's lunch!

TAURUS

So, we'll cook something else.

Anyway, Thursday I thought

we'd entertain at home.

SAGITTARIUS

You're kidding! Thursday night

I'm going to that lecture on

comparative literature...

TAURUS

What the hell for? You keep saying

you're tired all the time and then

you rush off to these stupid things -

SAGITTARIUS

Well entertaining at home is not

my idea of relaxation. That's

far more tiring than any lecture.

TAURUS

(Bitterly)

We never do anything. We never

have anybody over. We never

entertain at home because

you can never be bothered to!

SAGITTARIUS

What are you talking about?

We go out all the time!

TAURUS

I'm talking about entertaining

at home. Cooking for friends!

When I was a child, my mother

was always making something

delicious and our friends

and family came over for

meals all the time.

SAGITTARIUS

(Shuddering involuntarily)

Well, you definitely married

the wrong gal if that's

what you wanted -

TAURUS

- look you've got half-an-hour,

then we're eating, okay?

SAGITTARIUS

Why don't you have the

same urgency about calling

the dentist, huh? Mister

Ants-in-his-pants?

Why don't you call him already?

TAURUS

Dentist, schmentist. I'll call

him next week. Anyway,

what the hell's the rush?

*******

Freddie Mercury (in Retrograde): He's the One

This evening I attended a two-hour rehearsal of a Shakespeare comedy, being performed by a local Anglophone drama group here in Nicosia. And for awhile, the pain of the break-up and the lack of a concrete plan while being back again in Cyprus did not feel so painful.

Actually, I'm often super-animated and expressive when I'm with people, particularly creative people. And when this happens, Virgo-rising or no, all I want to do is perform.

This is more of a Leo trait of course, but my other planetary signatures for creative expression when added to that Aries Venus, just make me want to entertain, charm and engage with people. To put it another way, I'm the ego of the moment.

I guess I don't often mention my Venus in Aries on this blog, but for such an ill-at-ease, often quiet and sombre person who is uncomfortable in his own skin, weirdly enough, I can be the life and soul of the party.

Of course, it's not all fun and games, despite the fun and games, if you know what I mean.

This Venus is squared by neurotic, insecure Saturn in Cancer and opposed by iron-fist-in-velvet-glove Pluto in Libra.

However, this Venus is also trine jovial Neptune in fiery Sagittarius and sextile Mercury in electrically-charged Aquarius. And quintile Aquarius Mars. Not the kind of Venus to get her to a nunnery. Far from it. Frankly, this Venus is The One and doesn't care who knows it.

When I'm in this ultra-energised, witty and expressive mode, I feel like I'm channelling one of my favourite artists of all time: the late, great virtuoso performer and singer, Virgo Sun Freddie Mercury.

So much for my Virgo-rising modesty, but how curiously appropriate to this particular Mercury Rx period.





The image above was taken from this site.

The Nodes in the Fourth/Tenth, Or Visualising the Perfect Career

These days, I am obsessed with manifesting a career that will suit me down to a 'T'. It's my first thought when I awake and the last thought when I sleep. (Well, other than thinking of my ex, whom I miss very much. Very, very much).

Apparently, those with a Sagittarian North Node have a better aptitude than others when it comes to manifesting their desires. I guess because Sags are always relying on faith that the wherewithal and provisions for a journey will be provided for by, well, Providence.

I have the North Node in Sagittarius in the Fourth House and a Gemini South Node in the Tenth. That South Node has marked a seemingly endless desire to experiment and change career plans, with a thirst for experiences that is always prematurely slaked just when the real commitment bit has to kick in.

In short, in imagining a career for myself' I've gone from one plan to another, with very little money made to show for it.

Additionally, I have a low boredom threshold and a terror of being tied down to a boring, monotonous job. I shy away from the kinds of occupation that most people wishing to be self-sufficient undertake for the greater good of not being parasitic/burdens on those they love and/or to support their families.

Unfortunately, while I harbour no end of self-condemnation for my own fickleness and inability to settle into one particular job, the pain, shame and lack of selfworth have obviously not been enough to compel me to do the honorable thing and say 'yes' to the first job I'm offered, just to stop my internal engine of condemnation from filling me with self-loathing.

It hasn't been enough to castigate myself into action with the full-on barrage of thoughts like: "You're a worthless, good-for-nothing, burden-on-society parasite, spoiled and selfish and lazy and not fit to enjoy what you do."

And yet, neither has it been enough to simply accept myself. While I have Mars and Mercury in an Aquarius Sixth House, and a Scorpio Uranus in the Third squaring that Mars (not to mention my Moon at 29 degrees of Capricorn), I have not been able to find peace simply by accepting myself as a rebel and a drifter.

To the contrary (as my ex likes to say), I actually very much want to prove myself with a decent career, decent money and a means with which to bring together my spiritual and creative interests. And support a family.

Meanwhile, though, there's this idea that jobs (and most careers) are meant to be soul-killing and badly-paid with miserably long hours, hellish deadlines, insufferable tedium and a brutish superior (or three). That's apparently how you can tell you're doing the responsible thing. The level of suffering is directly proportional to the level of maturity achieved.

[[Obviously I'm being rather petulant here, but I need to get this off my chest.]]

Yet I refuse to be in the above-mentioned situation. Which, I suppose, is proof of my own level of privilege and pampered-ness (is there such a noun?) on the one hand, and ongoing reluctance to make a commitment to a normal job/career or the constraints of a healthy adult life on the other.

Indeed, I hasten to add, trying to supress such inclinations has not resulted in the responsible behaviour I aspire to. Rather, it has continued to put me at war within myself and drain my energy and make me miserable.

Q: Which leaves me where exactly?

A: Back to self-acceptance and the manifestation of desire through focus and trust in the generosity of the Universe (and gratitude for the plenty I already enjoy).

I'm going to endeavour to be enough for myself, warts and all. Restlessness, impatience, low boredom threshold and ever-shifting inclinations toward creative/healing freelance career included.

And I'm going to imagine the perfect career. Which, for me, would have to include:

-- Travelling all over the world

-- The opportunity to interact with people spiritually and creatively

-- The opportunity to write and direct for film and theatre and generally express myself in a variety of ways (in this case, more writing - fiction, poetry, graphic novels, kids' books, illustration, music...)

-- The opportunity to share my knowledge, guide, teach and help people heal

-- The opportunity to keep learning till the day I die (languages, theories of anything, metaphysics - and just about everything other than knitting, sewing and stamp-collecting)

-- The opportunity to serve others and be a good steward of the earth

There. That's what I want to do for a living.

Did I mention I wanted a decent wage/income, too? I do. I want to make money and a decent amount of it.

Q: Am I daring to imagine such things when Saturn's about to go into my Second House of earned income (and values, and self-worth)?

A: You double betcha.

In the meantime, praises and thanks to the Universe for everything I enjoy and all those I love who are in my life, whether as friends or family.

*****

For those interested, my desire to envision (and, thus, manifest) the perfect job has been shaped by the principles shared in this book.

*****

The image above was taken from this site.

The Return of Discipline: Counting Down to Saturn Turning Direct

The mutable signs are not known for their immense staying powers.

If the angles are in Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces, or there are a lot of planets (especially Mars, Mercury, Jupiter or Saturn) in these signs in a natal (or progressed) chart, you can bet the native will have trouble focusing on one particular goal for a sustained period of time.

I know whereof I speak: my angles are all mutable, my Sun and Jupiter are in Pisces, and the Nodes are Sagittarius-Gemini.

In addition, Neptune squares my Sun and my ascendant, and Aquarius Mars and Mercury keep my Sixth House often busy, but accomplishing little.

Also, I have little to no patience for longterm, process-oriented tasks.

It may be no surprise, then, that I've had several shortlived jobs in my past, and find it hard to commit to any one thing of my own volition - unless there's some concrete goal to be achieved.

Of course, Saturn in Cancer in the Eleventh might also have something to do with my prolonged shirking of more constraining 'grown-up' jobs (not to mention the 'terror' of having to be a part of a large group when it comes to the workplace).

Meanwhile, Saturn rules my Fifth House and it's no wonder my romantic and creative life have been making little headway during its lengthy retrograde.

In short, I'm REALLY looking forward to Saturn going direct on May 16th. That's mid-month, this month. With any luck that'll point to the discipline I've been sorely lacking of late to knuckle down to some serious creative writing.

Of course, I'm not going to wait till then to start attacking the writing projects I have in mind. But psychologically, I know getting to May 16th will feel like the right momentum will be building in my favour again.

My Capricorn Moon can't wait.





The image above was taken from this site.