Revisiting Solo, Or Freelancing the Mercury Rx in Aquarius Way...

There may be hiatuses ahead, good people, during which I may not be able to post some days.

Fact is, Mercury is now retrograde in Aquarius (ie. in my sixth house of, among other things, mundane, busy work), so, despite the good intentions, things like the blog - to which I dutifully try to post each evening - may be put on the backburner in lieu of more merc-in-ret activities: namely reflection, inner 'communication', meditation and a review of projects of yore (memo to self: re-read background materials on a real-live mercurial shapeshifter of the early 20th century, in prep for a future feature script).

Rest assured, the posts will pick up in consistency once the communication deity turns direct. We're talkin' as of February 19.

Meanwhile, I leave you with an article from Mother Jones by Kiera Butler, whose point - that despite its much-touted flexibility and freedom, freelancing from home is ultimately a poor substitute for the needful social stimulation and interaction of the more traditional office environment - I have recently found to be true for me, despite my hitherto staunch conviction that I was happy being a lone wolf forever.

Butler's opening paragraphs for "Practical Values: Works Well With Others" read thusly:

Last October, Rep. Frank Wolf wrote the White House with a radical proposal to promote "environmental stewardship, family values and energy independence." In asking President Bush to designate a National Telework Week, the Virginia Republican evoked the promise of a nation without two-hour commutes, veal-pen cubicles, petty workplace politics, or disgusting communal coffeepots. "Wouldn't it be great," he wrote, "if we could replace the evening rush hour commute with time spent with the family, or coaching little league or other important quality of life matters?"

Yeah, that would be great. Trouble is, when your home is your office, the boundaries between work and personal time dissolve. Distractions (cable, fridge, couch) lurk everywhere. But the biggest problem is social: Without the companionship of office mates—even the Dwight Schrutes of the world—telecommuters and freelancers can feel unmotivated and lonely. Which may explain why the virtual office remains largely hype. The telecommuting lobby claims that 100 million Americans will work remotely by 2010. But in 2004, only 13.7 million did. Of those, only 2 million were working full-time from home.

As shocking as it may sound, we may actually need the office, despite its reputation as a soul-sucking pit of conformity and monotony. In a recent analysis of 40 years of research, Stephen Humphrey, a professor of management at Florida State University's business school, found a strong correlation between the level of social interaction at work and job satisfaction and productivity. He also found that this correlation has strengthened over time—that now more than ever, the office has become a refuge of sorts. "It used to be that everyone could hang out around the watercooler—now we telecommute or spend two hours in our cars on the way to work," he says. "We suddenly start to realize, we miss socializing—and we need it."

I found the article particularly salient given that, wirelessly providing amanuensis-like/communications-type work, is particularly mercurial, and having to rethink the merits of such seemingly liberating (but isolated) labour is very Mercury-retrograde-in-Aquarius.

Indeed, as you continue to read (click here for the rest of the article), the solution to the conundrum is nothing less than a revolutionary re-evaluation of the freelancing set-up, based on reclaiming the benefits of human/societal interaction, albeit in a non-traditional way.

As I say... very Mercury Rx in the sign of the Water Bearer!



The illustration depicts a bust of Mercury and is taken from this site.

Dies Irae

SALIERI: Capisco! I know my fate. Now for the first time I feel my emptiness as Adam felt his nakedness ... [Slowly he rises to his feet.] Tonight at an inn somewhere in this city stands a giggling child who can put on paper, without actually setting down his billiard cue, casual notes which turn my most considered ones into lifeless scratches. Grazie, Signore! You gave me the desire to serve you - which most men do not have - then saw to it that the service was shameful in the ears of the server. Grazie! You gave me the desire to praise you - which most do not feel - then made me mute. Grazie tante! You put into me perception of the Incomparable - which most men never know! - then ensured that I would know myself forever mediocre. [His voice gains power.] Why? ... What is my fault? ... Until this day I have pursued virtue with vigour. I have labored long hours to serve my fellow men. I have worked and worked the talent you allowed me. [Calling up.] You know how hard I've worked! - solely that in the end, in the practice of the art which alone makes the world comprehensible to me, I might hear Your Voice! And now I do hear it - and it says only one name: MOZART! ... Spiteful, sniggering, conceited, infantine Mozart - who has never worked one minute to help another man! - shit-talking Mozart with his botty-smacking wife! - him you have chosen to be your sole conduct! And my only reward - my sublime privilege - is to be the sole man alive in this time who shall clearly recognize your Incarnation! [Savagely.] Grazie e grazie ancora! [Pause.] So be it! From this time we enemies, You and I! I'll not accept it from You - Do you hear? ... They say that God is not mocked, I tell you Man is not mocked! I am not mocked! ... They say the spirit bloweth where it listeth: I tell you NO! It must list to virtue, or not blow at all! [Yelling.] Dio Ingiusto! - You are the Enemy! I name Thee now - Nemico Eterno! And this I swear. To my last breath I shall block you on earth, as far as I am able! [He glares up at God. To the audience.] What use, after all, is man, if not to teach God His lessons?



From Peter Shaffer's Amadeus

Illustration taken from a poster for 30 Days of Night owned by Columbia pictures.

"And Cut..."

To his Leading Lady


I may not be much to look at,
at the trendier cocktail parties,
since wit is still no match for what,
despite political correctness.

But once you choose to speak
my lines, to occupy my frame,
you are intellectual property. Each
take is subject solely to my whim.

I cast you, wooed you, would you
move a little further to the left?
That’s nice, and now - repeat.
The lens records, adjust your feet.

How does it feel to know you’re played?

When this is done, and we part ways
if we should meet at yet more soulless
dos, ignore, embrace, gush, praise
or damn me to my face or others’,

we both know how you obeyed
my orders, let me tune you, put
your secrets on display. Laid
open, you were treasured

only inasmuch as your poor
beauty fleshed my dream.



Illustration by Tanner Morrow and can be found here.

Doom-mongering, Eco-optimism and Green Cities

A very interesting debate is shaping up on green and eco-blogs in that warnings of woe and disaster are actually a huge disincentive when it comes to mobilising people to embracing sustainable and environmentally-conscious living.

What is it in the human pyche that is so drawn to the thought of its own doom, yet somehow thrives far better on the hope it so easily dismisses in favour of fear?

I know that I, personally, am functioning a lot better now that I am getting better acquainted with the burdgeoning clean technologies out there, and the willingness of so many different kinds of people to voluntarily re-structure their lives, their hopes for the future and their day-to-day needs to acknowledge the vital interdependence of everything and live more lightly on the earth.

Indeed, optimism and a willingness to see oneself connected to everything - in contrast to surrendering our privileges as part of confronting the exigencies of global warming and climate change - makes for a much more palatable combination, and is, thus, ultimately more of a motivation toward eco-positive living.

Speaking of interdependence, many of the posts at the WorldChanging site are dedicated to green cities and how living in community is better for us and for the environment.

You can't get much better than the unrelentingly thorough analysis entitled, "My Other Car is a Bright Green City," by Alex Steffen, which posits the following, amid weighing up the impact of suburban individualism, mobility and inefficient land use:

"I think whether or not green cars arrive, building bright green cities is a winning strategy: if the cars don't arrive, land-use change is clearly needed to save our bacon; if they do arrive, they might well fit quite nicely into the new fabric of sustainable urban life, and we're all better off for it -- the air's that much cleaner, the grid that much smarter, our economic advantage in clean technology that much greater.

"Most arguments against land-use change presume that building compact communities is a trade-off; that investing in getting walkable, denser neighborhoods, we lose some or a lot of our affluence or quality of life. What if that's not true, though? What if the gains actually far outweigh the costs not only in ecological and fiscal terms, but in lifestyle and prosperity terms as well? I think that's the case.

"I believe that green compact communities, smaller well-built homes, walkable streets and smart infrastructure can actually offer a far better quality of life than living in McMansion hintersprawl in purely material terms: more comfort, more security, more true prosperity. But even more to the point, I believe they offer all sorts of non-materialistic but extremely real benefits that suburbs cannot. Opponents of smart growth talk about sacrificing our way of life -- but it's not a sacrifice if what you get in exchange is superior."

I happen to agree, but then, I would, since I am definitely a city person, despite my love of nature - and I dream of a future in which urban communities are not merely better integrated with their surrounding environment and ecosystems, but which also change our collective way of thinking about life. Towns and cities, in other words, in which the natural world isn't kept at bay, in which people walk, cycle or take public transport from place to place and where neighbours know and look out for each other.

In addition, I dream of an urban simplicity that does not sacrifice technological advances - something Steffen mentions when he says:

Wired urban living might very well soon evolve into a series of systems for letting us live affluent, convenient lives without actually owning a lot of things. If cities are engines for creating social connections, walkshed technologies might be said to make those connections into tools for trumping the hassle of owning stuff with the pleasure of using stuff to get the vivid experiences and deep relationships we crave. If that happens, we'll have a major leverage point to work with.

You can read the rest of Steffen's intriguing analysis here.

Solar Solutions, Green Collars and Eco-(Un)Friendly Takeaways

Time for some green stuff, to satisfy the eco-concerned out theah - which includes me, good people - so I figured I'd do an extra-verdant melange of emerald bits n' pieces tonight.

Being resident again in Cyprus, the island of my birth, after many years abroad, it is a joy to take for granted the abundance of sunshine, light and heat during most of the year (though, right now, we're in the midst of severe drought, so as much as I am a Sol-worshipper, I dread the consequences of our near-bone-dry reservoirs and dams). However, what would please me even more would be even greater investment in solar energy technology on the island.

If we could use solar power for (unfortunately vital) desalination of water, it would add to be a considerable energy saving, not to mention, ultimately cheaper for the tax-payer, since Cyprus has no oil or gas reserves of its own, and must ship them in - a process, in itself, that pollutes the environment, to say nothing of the CO2 emission from the vast amount of power required for the desalination process.

In the US, one individual who is really pushing solar solutions - not merely to promote environmental responsibility in light of global warming, but also to boost inner cities' standard of living and create jobs in "green construction and alternative energy" - is Yale-educated lawyer Van Jones, the Oakland, CA-based human-rights activist.

Byran Walsh's TIME magazine article entitled "Bring Eco-Power to the People" has this to say of Jones:

You couldn't create a better advocate for the green-collar movement than Jones. A Yale-educated lawyer who founded the Ella Baker Center for Human Rights in Oakland, the magnetic Jones moves easily between worlds, at home preaching to inner-city high school students or mixing with Silicon Valley entrepreneurs. But everywhere Jones goes, he repeats a simple message. "Give the work that most needs to be done to the people who most need the work," he says, and solve two pressing problems--pollution and poverty--at once.

For the environmental movement, embracing Jones' message means recasting global warming not just as an existential threat but as an enormous economic opportunity. It's a narrative that is particularly resonant with low-income workers who are likely to bear the short-term economic burden of cutting carbon only if they believe there will be a personal payoff for them in the long run. Says Jones: "They need to see green in their pockets."

The rest of the article can be read: here.

On a related note (well, 'related' in the sense that it's another area in which to heed the need for green) just how environmentally sound can we grade our takeout or takeaway receptacles as being?

Elizabeth Gillian, writing for chow.com broaches the topic thusly:

Your food can’t go everywhere exposed to the elements; it needs packaging. Unfortunately, that packaging often takes massive amounts of energy to create, and much of it doesn’t properly decompose. We’ve rated some common carriers on a scale from 1 (bad) to 5 (good).

The usual suspects follow with their pros and cons re. eco-friendliness, with some (styrofoam) being predictably on the more culpable or virtuous (edible containers made from food) end of the scale, while others (aluminium foil) falling surprisingly somewhere in the middle.

For those of us who, for a range of reasons, consider dinner (or lunch - or even breakfast) prep to be speed-dialing the nearest Thai place for some green chicken curry delivery, the green-or-not low-down on transporting eats to your home in all its depressing glory can be found here.

Farewell Heath Ledger

UPDATE: Lynn Hayes of the Astrodynamics blog now has an insightful delineation of the ill-fated Ledger's birthchart, putting his passing into clearer perspective. I was not surprised that the short-lived Aries Sun had many Pisces planets and the Moon in Cancer. Such sensitivity allowed him that magical quality to slip, chameleon-like into his more recent, dark, troubled roles, including a tormented gay cowboy in Brokeback Mountain, a charismatic junkie in Candy and a psychotic trickster in Dark Knight. Marvellously equipped to 'disappear', he was, alas, unable to allow the power of his Aries Sun (in the first house, no less) to combat the 'self-undoing' that is also the hallmark of otherworldy Pisces.

I was dismayed to hear that Heath Ledger, the highly talented screen actor, was found dead this afternoon in a Manhattan apartment. While speculation about cause of death had initially brought up the possibility of suicide, it is now believed Ledger died of a drug overdose. He was 28, and had one daughter with former partner, actress Michelle Williams.

Despite his pretty-boy good looks, Ledger was a charismatic and highly-gifted actor, and I am very sorry I shall never see what would undoubtedly have been even more golden acting in the years to come. I always thought the best actor Oscar would have eventually been his - it was only a matter of time. In my mind, he will always be the soulful, tormented cowboy from Brokeback Mountain.

You can read more about this sad event here.

Noting his age, though not knowing his birth details, I wonder how close transiting Saturn in Virgo was to conjuncting his natal Saturn - Ledger, at 28, being in the midst of the infamous Saturn return. Additionally, given that drugs are the believed cause of death, I also ponder what transiting Neptune (notoriously linked to all matter of mind-altering substances, imagination, self-undoing, illusion, and transcendence) was doing at the time of the actor's passing.

Actually, Lynn Hayes of the Astrodynamics blog today had this to say (albeit in a post unrelated to Ledger's passing):

"Today we have Mercury conjunct Neptune in Aquarius, where our most visionary (Aquarian) ideas can become fuzzy and incomplete under the thumb of Neptune. Neptune can erode our confidence, or it can entice us into a dreamland of imagination and creativity."

No doubt the astrological community will come up with some very illuminating posts soon enough.

On Death, Dying and the Way of the Shaman

One of the things that obsesses me is death and dying. Even as a child, while I was very aware of the liminal realm, it wasn't the thought of a spirit world as much as the process of dying that gripped my imagination.

In the West, we know so much about keeping the body alive with our various medicines and surgical advances, but how many of our physicians can truly partner those of their patients who are beyond their pills and scalpels?

Indeed, how many Western doctors - other than the rare few who are born with an intuition and sensitivity that mainstream medical schools seem unable to teach - can actually offer practical aid and ministering to the dying?

For the most part, in the developed world, this realm of life (and yes, dying is a part of life) is still the quaint domain of priests who, incredibly, in our overly-sceptical (and spiritually ravenous) age, still have their (ever-diminishing) niche in officiating over those human milestones that modern society has not fully managed to wrest from the numinous.

But even our priests in Western monotheist traditions, with their dualistic view of the Good-versus-Evil universe, can only offer so much comfort.

It is to the East that one must turn if one is particularly 'called' to investigate practices that embrace the dying process and offer guidance to the soon-to-be-disembodied soul.

Imagine if we were taught such vital knowledge (and I know the scientifically-inclined among you will cringe at my use of 'knowledge' in this context) at school. How much more precious would our lives be?

Naturally, materialists will argue that holding death to be the 'Great End' itself bestows on life a preciousness and reverence. In other words, the thought that we only get one shot is precisely what helps us live richly and fully.

To them, I say: have you taken a look lately at the world we live in?

The fact is, we are petrified, paralysed and rendered impotent in the materialist West by the notion of death. And yes, while there are stories of grateful cancer survivors who live richly post-treatment, as if 'every day were their last', there are overwhelmingly more stories of people's lives that are ruined or lived out-of-control in the desperate attempt to stave off the physical end by acquiring more, experiencing more, attaining more - simply because, this life is all you get folks. And when it's over, it's over.

According to American Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron in When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, our deepest-rooted mara (loosely translated to "familiar ways in which we try to avoid what is happening") is Yama Mara or "fear of death".

And our collective neurosis in the West, it seems to me, bears staggering testimony to this primal terror. Why else would the hysterical allure of apocalypse return and return to our developed world narrative every decade or so? Why would the 2012 prophecies of planetary doom and species-death wield such power in the face of climate catastrophe?

If we were taught a way of our sacred connection to life and how we continue - not merely in a spiritual, transcendent sense, but also in the plants and animals and seasons around us - how much fear we could dispel. What a dawning of a new understanding there might be. And what a peace and love and fellowship with life could be ours.

Lately, I have been more and more drawn to the energy work of the Mesoamerican shamans, particularly as I am reading the fascinating Shaman, Healer, Sage: How to Heal Yourself and Others with the Energy Medicine of the Americas by Antonio Villoldo (the Amazon link is here).
On journeying to "the roots of the Inka civilisation", Villoldo's website notes that:

"What I [Villoldo] discovered was a set of sacred technologies that transform the body, heal the soul, and can change the way we live and the way we die. They explain that we are surrounded by a Luminous Energy Field (LEF) whose source is located in infinity. The LEF was a matrix that maintains the health and vibrancy of the physical body.

"Today, I have come to understand that the experience of infinity can heal and transform us, and that it can free us from the temporal chains that keep us fettered to illness, old age, and disease. Over the course of two decades with the shamans in the jungles and high mountains of the Andes, I would discover that I am more than flesh and bone, that I am fashioned of Spirit and light. This understanding reverberated through every cell in my body. I am convinced that is has changed the way I heal, the way I age, and the way I will die. The experience of infinity is at the core of the Illumination Process, the essential healing practice we teach in the Healing the Light Body School."

Also at the same site, which describes in much detail the training offered by Villoldo's shaman training curriculum, there is the following about the dying process:

"Life ends with the last breath, just as it begins with the first.

"As the physical body returns to the Earth, the soul prepares for its great journey home. When the brain shuts down, the electromagnetic field created by the central nervous system dissolves, and the Luminous Energy Field disengages from its former home. As this happens, the Luminous Energy Field grows into a translucent, egg-shaped torus that contains the other seven chakras, which continue to shimmer like points of light for the first few hours after death. If all proceeds smoothly, this luminous orb, which is the essence or soul of the individual, then travels through the axis of the luminous body, to become one with Spirit again. This occurs very quickly once the Luminous Energy Field is free from the body. The torus of the Luminous Energy Field squeezes through the portal created by its central axis, like a doughnut squeezing through its own whole.

"When a dying person retains his awareness after death, he enters the light easily. My mentor compared this light to the dawn breaking on a cloudless morning, a state of primordial purity – immense and vast, defying description. The blackness of death, caused by the collapse of the senses, recedes and is dispelled by the light of Spirit.

"My mentor prepared all of his life for this journey. Shortly before he died, he explained to me how the steps of the journey were different for him as a shaman that for someone who was unprepared to meet his death. He fully expected to attain the freedom that is possible at the instant of death, during the dawning of the light of Spirit. At that moment, he explained, you perceive the dawn as if from the top of the world itself. You are taller than the highest mountains. Not only is the breaking dawn occurring outside you, but you simultaneously feel the sun rising in your belly and all of Creation stirring within you. You recognize that you are one with the dawning light. You surrender to the luminosity around you, are enfolded by it, and become one with it. During this stage you encounter luminous beings, medicine people who assist you in surrendering to the light. Inka legends say that we are all star travelers, and at this point in the dying process we can re-embark on our great journey through the Milky Way."

If you would like to read further about the process of dying, the full post can be found here.

Another great book on this topic, is The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Tibetan lama Sogyal Rinpoche. It's a little weightier and dense than Villoldo's book - and is more like a guide for Westerners of the principles laid out in the Tibetan Buddhist classic The Tibetan Book of the Dead - but still written with immense wisdom, compassion and humour.

Putting Money Where The (Hungriest) Mouth Is, Or How Athens Is Feeding Her Poorest

I am happy to be able to post some very good news today from Greece, which actually cheered me up immensely: basically, a scheme has been initiated enabling the poorest in Athens to be able to shop for the necessities of life - all for free!

I actually heard about it on the BBC news this afternoon, but am happy to post the opening to an online story "No cash, no cards? No problem" on the subject by Kathy Tzilivakis for the Athens News:

At first glance it looks like any other supermarket. Housewives, senior citizens and couples with young children busily browse aisles stacked high with brand-name products, filling their shopping carts with cornflakes, fresh milk, eggs, canned foods, frozen vegetables, soft drinks, diapers, shampoo and cleaning supplies.

But look closer, and you'll spot the difference.

There are no cash registers. Not even a debit card machine. In fact, all money transactions are prohibited.

"You can't buy anything here with money," said the store manager, Panos Lendaris. "We're not allowed to take any money."

Thanks to a joint corporate social responsibility venture between Europe's largest retailer, Carrefour, and the municipality of Athens, some 200 jobless and working poor in Athens are now doing their weekly grocery shopping for free at the new Sofokleos St supermarket. The products lining the shelves are surplus stock that have been provided free of charge to Carrefour from its suppliers.

"Caring for those people who are deprived of even the basic necessities of life is a central pylon at the municipality," said Athens Mayor Nikitas Kaklamanis. "The creation of this new grocery store is evidence of the benefits that can arise when local government cooperates with the private sector and when the guiding principle is social welfare and progress."

The 200 recipients are entitled to shop for between 100 and 350 euros' worth of products at the Sofokleos St supermarket every month. The amount, which has been set by the municipality's social welfare office, depends on the recipient's financial situation. Low-income families with three or more children, for example, are entitled to spend the maximum 350 euros each month.

You can read the rest of this heartening - yes, heartening, you read that right! - news story here.

Peripatetic Pix

Valediction Forbidding Mourning

"Fare you well, people of Orphalese. This day has ended. It is closing upon us even as the water-lily upon its own tomorrow. What was given us here we shall keep, and if it suffices not, then again must we come together and together stretch our hands out to the giver. Forget not that I shall come back to you. A little while, and my longing shall gather dust and foam for another body. A little while, a moment of rest upon the wind, and another woman shall bear me. Farewell to you and the youth I have spent with you. It was but yesterday we met in a dream. You have sung to me in my aloneness, and I of your longings have built a tower in the sky. But now our sleep has fled and our dream is over, and it is no longer dawn. The noontide is upon us and our half waking has turned to fuller day, and we must part. If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you will sing to me a deeper song. And if our hands should meet in another dream, we shall build another tower in the sky.

"So saying he made a signal to the seamen, and straightaway they weighed anchor and cast the ship loose from its moorings, and they moved eastward. And a cry came from the people as from a single heart, and it rose into the dusk and was carried out over the sea like a great trumpeting. Only Almitra was silent, gazing after the ship until it had vanished into the mist. And when all the people were dispersed she still stood alone upon the sea-wall, remembering in her heart his saying: 'A little while, a moment of rest upon the wind, and another woman shall bear me.'"

From The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

Welcome to the Dungeon, We've Thrown Away the Key. Natal T-Square of Saturn, Venus, Pluto

Occasionally, when the fear zombies strike, their fetid phantom breath filling the air and their invisible talons opening up wounds that only mostly heal, I get to thinking about my natal Cardinal T-square: Saturn in Cancer squaring an opposition of Venus in Aries and Pluto in Libra.

Can't say I'm overjoyed at this combo, but I've done enough reading on metaphysical topics to be open to the idea that I chose to incarnate with the potential this particular T-square symbolises.

So, just what does it indicate amid the unique cocktail of energies that help make me, me?

At the 'low vibrating' or 'negative' side of the scale, it can mean intense fear. Fear, fear, fear, and more fear. Obsessive, unshakeable, overpowering fear. Particularly as the intense passion-annihiliation-resurrection implied by the Pluto-Venus stand-off gets that extra edge of paranoia from boundary-lovin' Saturn's unhappy location in the sign of moody moon-child Cancer.

Basically, relationships are life and death to me - especially with a Seventh House Pisces Sun. I'm set up to 'merge' with a significant other - and such opportunities have indeed always been pretty all-or-nothing in their manifestation.

Also, as a card-carrying member of the Pluto in Libra generation, relationships are the realm of life where the deepest spiritual transformations are going to be taking place for me in this incarnation.

So, intimacy and relationships was always going to be somewhat chthonic in kind.

Now, when you factor in an opposition by Libra Pluto to passionate, me-centered Venus in Aries, things start to get very interesting. An obsessive need for the beloved manifests. One's own self-worth and confidence become as nothing in the face of hanging on to the (often provocative, inevitably Plutonian) beloved and avoiding rejection. One's desire for happiness and love regresses into a crude need to emotionally (and psychically) 'survive', being dependent on the good will (or lack thereof), attention and devotion of the love object. And without fail, my deepest love relationships have always had this dynamic at work.

And when you bring in a needy, dependent, security-driven Cancer Saturn to square Aries Venus (further undermining self-confidence and amplifying vulnerability), also forming the same difficult 90-degree-aspect to Libra Pluto (creating a near-pathological terror of letting go or undergoing change in the area of relationships), you end up with an individual who often self-sabotages or short-circuits, falling short of harnessing the mighty, initiating Cardinal power promised by this particular planetary trio.

What I am working on now - and I'd imagine it's to be a lifelong work in progress - is confronting that self-destructive dependency and insecurity by investing in self-mastery. Confronting the things that scare me to death while trying to do things that nurture my soul.

Perhaps if I, or, as is more likely, my beloved could "plutonify" (in the words of astrologer Steven Forrest) my natal Venus, then doing so might trigger "the emergence of unconscious or wounded material connected with [in this case, Venus], challenging it to grow and to implement the soul's healing intentions."

In other words, if I am open to the process, those sharing my inner-most thoughts and feelings could move me to burn up all the manipulativeness, self-destructiveness and lack of self-love that I express or experience, thereby transforming my relations with others and, more importantly, myself, into something harmonious, beautiful, transcendent.

Even more importantly, if I could overcome the need to be a timid, inept and incompetent child (Cancer Saturn squaring Aries Venus) and face head-on my feelings of despair and helplessness in the view of what seems to be the neverending threat of traumatic change (Cancer Saturn squaring Libra Pluto) I could put all of that initiating Cardinal energy into refining my interactions with family, friends and wider society (Cancer Saturn in the Eleventh), my values, relationships and reasoning (Libra Pluto in the Second) and other people's creative resources of material, spiritual or psychic kind (Aries Venus in the Eighth).

Interestingly enough, my beloved one's (Libra) Sun-Pluto conjunction falls exactly on the Lord of Death's position in my own natal chart, while also opposing my birth Venus.

In other words, the two of us have the potential either to become catalysts for initiating a new level of emotional and spiritual self-awareness both in each other and ourselves, or to end up embodying the very real, very deep-rooted fears of rejection, trauma and abandonment that haunt us both.

Apocalypse Now. Definitely Maybe.

"The promise of a recovery of a long-lost Golden Age reverberates through countless myths. The heart-chord it strikes has inspired visionaries and idealists from time immemorial. As well, it fuels a healthy discontent – the flip side of modern anxiety – that refuses to believe that this is the best we can do. It is an indignation, a muted outrage that can be allayed temporarily by comforts and luxuries, that can be subdued, temporarily, by survival anxiety, that is always strongest in the young, and that lies latent in all of us, ever-ready to be roused into a crusading idealism, though often coopted toward the perpetuation of the very conditions that give it rise. It is my purpose, dear reader, to give voice to your indignation and to reaffirm your intuitive knowledge that life is meant to be more."

From "Waiting for the Big One" by Charles Eisenstein, Reality Sandwich

Continuing from yesterday's post, I simply had to draw attention to another really great pick from the web magazine Reality Sandwich, which puts the current spike in 2012 and apocalyptic fervor into perspective.

I'd like to say Eisenstein offers good news. But he doesn't. At least, not exactly. What he offers is hope and a certain 'realistic' or 'grounded' line of approach to what he believes is the inevitable: the breakdown of life as we know it. Which would be pretty darn depressing if he didn't also add the following:

"Today we already can catch a glimpse of the technologies-social forms as well as paradigms of material production-of a future in love with life, which encompasses the love of being alive as well as the love of living beings. They are the technologies of sun, soil, and water, of bioenergy and rhythm, light and sound, word and touch, mind and dreaming, matter and information. All of them arise from and embody a different understanding of self and world. Just as present-day social forms and technologies both spring from and reinforce separation, 21st century technology will be both a cause and an effect of separation's reversal-a very different understanding of the universe articulated on every level from psychology to cosmology. As our crises intensify we will be faced with new choices and new possibilities. Let us recognize the full ramifications and full power of the choices that will soon open up to us."

You can read the full article here.

Oh, and on a not-so-very-related note (my Aquarius Mercury and Mars apologise), earlier this evening I learned (via the excellent NorthNodeastrology blog - checkitout) of a good place to go if you want to do something about the apalling suffering of women in sexual violence-ridden Congo. You know exactly the sort of despicable and cruel acts I mean - rape, mutilation and murder. In light of this ongoing barbarity, please consider going to Women for Women International, which is an organization committed to providing "financial and emotional" support to women "on the margins of hope", either to make a donation or sponsor an individual rape victim directly.

2012 Revisited - Lucidity in the Midst of Apocalyptic Hysteria

I hadn't realised before I started this blog - a big reason for which was to manage my own raw fear ignited by talk of cataclysms, pole shifts and the prophecies marking December 21, 2012 as doomsday - the sheer number of sites dedicated to the end of the Mayan Long Count - over 3,000,000 according to one account.

When the site author isn't adding his or her two cents about the apocalyptic origin of the date, its range of possibly interpretations, the likelihood of the actual end of the world occuring on December 21, 2012, the pedigree of the sources that would have us believe or disbelieve such information, and whether or not to head for higher ground, s/he is speculating if any of us will survive whatever is to come, cataclysm or ascension or both.

Since many of you seem to have stumbled on my own humble post on this subject, I thought it might be a good idea to share a more heartening and down-to-earth discussion of the Winter Solstice of 2012 that I found at the amazing web magazine Reality Sandwich - whose content runs "the gamut from sustainability to shamanism, alternate realities to alternative energy, remixing media to re-imagining community, holistic healing techniques to the promise and perils of new technologies"

In the post in question entitled: "2012 and the Annoying Persistence of Time", Richard Smoley offers a great background to the emergence of 2012 as the apocalyptic date du jour, pointing out that:

"Presently the date of choice is 2012. The concept of 2012 as a crux in human history owes its popularity to José Argüelles. He is best-known as the chief herald of the Harmonic Convergence of 1987, an event in which millions of people received or attempted to receive galactic energies that, Argüelles contended, were streaming to the earth and awakening a higher consciousness. But 1987 was only a prelude, said Arguëlles. The key date is 2012 – specifically December 21, 2012, the end of the Mayan Long Count. According to John Major Jenkins, author of Mayan Cosmogenesis 2012, the Mayan calendar, with its numerous and almost incomprehensible reckonings of cycles within cycles (including a "Long Count" spanning 1,872,000 days or some 5,129 years), points to a key juncture: the time when the point of the December solstice aligns precisely with the center of the galaxy. Another figure who pointed to 2012 (for quite different reasons) was the late psychedelic guru Terence McKenna. (For more details on these predictions, keep an eye out for my article on 2012, to appear in the March-April issue of New Dawn magazine.)

"What is going to happen in 2012? Since these prophecies are not Christian, there is no talk of the Lord's return. One view is that there will be a mass awakening of consciousness that will take humanity to a new level. One researcher into things Mayan, Carl Johann Calleman, author of The Mayan Calendar and the Transformation of Consciousness (who, for various reasons, puts the date a year earlier, in 2011), contends, "It will simply not be possible not to be enlightened after October 28, 2011, or at least from a certain time afterward when the new reality has definitely manifested." Others hint that the actual fabric of time will mutate into a newer, higher, 2.0 version of itself.

"What is one to say to this? As we've seen, predictions of the end of time are practically as consistent and reliable as the calendar. And yet if science is any remotely plausible guide to the truth, the universe has been chugging along for some 13 billion years and does not show any immediate indication of changing its tune. It's true that philosophers sometimes point out the problems of reasoning about the future on the basis of the past. As Bertrand Russell wrote, "the man who has fed the chicken every day throughout its life at last wrings its neck instead, showing that more refined views as to the uniformity of nature would have been useful to the chicken." Even so, philosophers, like the rest of us, usually seem to act on the premise that tomorrow will come just as today has.

"The usual riposte to these objections is that we are living in unique times, that the pressures and challenges that humanity faces are unlike those human beings have ever had to face. So they are. But so they are for every generation. Every generation faces new challenges and pressures. Every age believes it is a new age, and every age is right."

But what I found even more interesting was Smoley's later comment to some of the reader responses his piece elicted that:

"I don't think that you can argue BOTH that the times require urgent and immediate practical solutions AND that we will be saved from ourselves by a mass awakening of consciousness that will happen in 2012. If the latter is true, why bother to do anything now? After all, if we all become enlightened in 2012, everything will become much clearer and the solutions can all be worked out in a jiffy. My own perspective is that the issues of the current moment--violence, discord, environmental stress--are serious and deserve serious, practical solutions. I don't think we can afford to wait or hope for a mass shift in consciousness that may or may not come. Nor, for that matter, may a mass shift of consciousness be necessary."

You can read the original post in full, here.

In the meantime, the best advice most of those writing about 2012 seem to offer is to "be the change".

In other words: to open our hearts, practise generosity, lovingkindness and gratitude. And to turn away from our hitherto rebellious state of individualism and embrace a global maturity, developing the ability to think beyond our immediate self-interest.

Consciousness, Metaphysics, Science and the (Shhh) Possible Overlap

"There are certain pillars which have been established as the unshakeable supports of the Faith of God. The mightiest of these is learning and the use of the mind, the expansion of consciousness, and insight into the realities of the universe and the hidden mysteries of Almighty God. To promote knowledge is thus an inescapable duty imposed on every one of the friends of God."

Taken from: Selections from the Writings of`Abdu'l-Bahá (more can be found on this topic here).

It's interesting that in the perceived 'clash' between religion and science, we've heard far more reasoned, eloquent arguments regarding how the former should engage with and be regulated by the latter than truly convincing arguments to the contrary.

In our day and age, it is easy to disparage anything faith-based or esoteric, and yet we are, progressively, hearing about the 'grey' areas at the periphery of scientific investigation, which have brought up paradoxes surprisingly better explained by a more numinous or 'spiritual' or estoric approach than a materialist one.

Forefront in the geography of such grey and enigmatic areas is the realm of physics, chaos theory, quantum mechanics, cosmology.

A highly intriguing article along this vein appeared in The New York Times today under the headline: Big Brain Theory: Have Cosmologists Lost Theirs? by Dennis Overbye, in which the opening paragraphs run thus:

"It could be the weirdest and most embarrassing prediction in the history of cosmology, if not science.

"If true, it would mean that you yourself reading this article are more likely to be some momentary fluctuation in a field of matter and energy out in space than a person with a real past born through billions of years of evolution in an orderly star-spangled cosmos. Your memories and the world you think you see around you are illusions.

"This bizarre picture is the outcome of a recent series of calculations that take some of the bedrock theories and discoveries of modern cosmology to the limit. Nobody in the field believes that this is the way things really work, however. And so there in the last couple of years there has been a growing stream of debate and dueling papers, replete with references to such esoteric subjects as reincarnation, multiple universes and even the death of spacetime, as cosmologists try to square the predictions of their cherished theories with their convictions that we and the universe are real. The basic problem is that across the eons of time, the standard theories suggest, the universe can recur over and over again in an endless cycle of big bangs, but it’s hard for nature to make a whole universe. It’s much easier to make fragments of one, like planets, yourself maybe in a spacesuit or even — in the most absurd and troubling example — a naked brain floating in space. Nature tends to do what is easiest, from the standpoint of energy and probability. And so these fragments — in particular the brains — would appear far more frequently than real full-fledged universes, or than us. Or they might be us."

The rest of the article is a must for those, like myself, intrigued by how our material and esoteric understanding is, as I believe, inexorably heading to overlap.

And isn't it interesting that "the death of space-time" shows up in a mainstream newspaper when the New Age community has been abuzz with expectations of an end to 'linear time' and a multidimensional consciousness as we count down to December 21, 2012?

Disturbia and My Dream of America

I have just seen D. J. Caruso's Disturbia (2007), the teen version of Rear Window with Shia LaBeouf, Carrie-Anne Moss and David Morse. It was very entertaining. But Alfred Hitchcock it ain't.

However, the script was funny, tight in structure (as in, well-written for the teen-thriller genre) and boasted a genuinely interesting, intelligent lead (LaBeouf). More importantly, it painted a picture of an American adolescent's life that brought back my own dream of America, and why I had been so eager to find a way there on graduating from a British uni, back in 1997.

Before the smart-asses who've seen the film say: "you mean you dreamed of finding suburban angst, teen boredom and crime?"

No. And I hate the thought of living in the suburbs.

But I did dream of finding a life full of daring, independence, plenty, creativity and self-invention. And yes, a beautiful-limbed American girlfriend.

And to a large extent, I was not disappointed with what I encountered as a post-graduate student in the States, though all experiences, good or bad, did come at a price.

To gain independence in America, there were so often times I had to go beyond the limits of my comfort zone - and not just in my school work.

I tried to be a gentleman scholar - cramming in as many extra-curricular pursuits (namely singing and acting), sports (weight-training, running, fencing) as I could, as well as giving time to my studies.

But I also had to adapt to a car culture when I didn't have a vehicle, and where everything you needed was somewhere down the neverending highway. I had to learn the self-sufficiency borne of being without a family network to look to for guidance or support. I had to adjust to living in a country with extreme weather and vast distances.

I had to experience love and heartbreak.

The plenty, creativity and self-invention were also challenging to aspire to. My area of specialisation was film directing, and noone at film school ever factored in artistic insecurities in giving feedback. New York City was full of actors who expected professionalism from the get-go, even on student projects. I had to find the courage to direct people I hadn't ever met before under the extremely intense conditions of no-budget independent filmmaking. And finding my own niche in the popculturally-savvy, jaded, but opinionated city of Gotham was tricky, too.

All of this wasn't a big deal, it was just life, lots of it, and a pretty good deal, in my opinion, for a sheltered denizen of Cyprus, not to mention, liberating and confidence-building to boot.

Today, having been in Cyprus since 2006, the contrasts between Nicosia and New York have been pretty glaring, and I've had to look at America from a very different, less laudatory perspective.

The USA is still a country that draws me - and there's a deep calling to return to my beloved Manhattan - but now I wonder whether I would see only the wastefulness in the culture where I once saw plenty; whether I would see arrogance and greed where I once saw self-confidence, motivation and initiative; whether I would see provincialism, ignorance and dysfunction where I once saw freedom, generosity and friendliness.

These last three years have wearied me like no other. The pollution of the world, both material and spiritual has taken a very heavy toll.

But, for all of that, for all my doubts as to whether or not I could still be happy in America, the land of the free (though not lately) still occupies my dreamscapes of choice. I can't escape the connection; it's very deep. My psychic - if not familial - roots there go deep, somehow.

Also, the US is still the country that gave us Abe Lincoln, Martin Luther King, JFK, Ernest Hemingway, T. S. Eliot (no, he wasn't English), Emily Dickinson, Lorraine Hansbury, Langston Hughes, Sylvia Plath, William Faulkner, Norman Mailer, not to mention a host of scientists, philosophers, athletes, artists and inventors too numerous to name. And the resonance of that pioneering, revolutionary, visionary spirit in every aspect of civic life is still there, waiting to resurface.

Yes, there has been the (massive) falling short of my dream of America. And I see, from my Cypriot perspective, much more clearly the governmental incompetence, the staggering levels of poverty, the lack of health care for the vast majority unable to afford insurance, the educational failure and the collective paranoia toward The Other (eg. illegal immigrants).

And yes, I realise these occur everywhere, but I hadn't really seen these elements in the States the way I do now. Now that I am far away.

I still dream of America as I once hoped it to be: a beacon of justice, generosity and personal freedom, the latter not gained at the expense of collective responsibility, maturity and innovation.

May I live in that America, some day.

The Not-So-Small Voice of Silence (Or How One Actor Got Green in L.A.)

Hope y'all have pardoned me the flights of whimsy over the last few days. There are times when doom and gloom must take a momentary backseat to creativity and my metaphysical pursuits. But today, I'm back in my eco-saddle and want to introduce American actor/eco-activist Ed Begley Jr., who has been an enthusiastic proponent of a green lifestyle since the '70s - which is some feat considering he was, and is still living in, not-always-environmentally-conscious Los Angeles (a shout out here to Baskingshark since the City of Angels is his favourite place to be).

DIGRESSION: As an aspiring film director myself, Hollywood film production - of which L.A. is the heart - is incredibly, incredibly environmentally unfriendly a process, given the need to make expensive projects made in as little time as possible. When I was studying at Columbia's graduate film programme in NYC, one of the things said early on in a producing class that has always stayed with me is that the three key factors in filmmaking are speed of production, keeping costs low, and scope of production (production value). You can have any two, but not all three. Usually, Hollywood features are willing to boost speed of shooting (to capture those key Box Office niches and release slots) and production value, at the (literal) expense of budget. Alas, the money funnelled into such productions goes into making the picture pretty not environmentally friendly. I shudder to think at the sheer VOLUME of bottled water feature film crews go through (and then toss away) with every project.

But to get back to my original topic, one of my fave faith-based sites, beliefnet.com has an interview with Begley Jr. and his green ways, which also, interestingly enough, allows insight into his more spiritual views of living lightly on the planet, too.

Here are the first few paragraphs:

"Maybe you remember him from the 80's TV show St. Elsewhere, but chances are Ed Begley Jr.'s floppy California charm has infiltrated your consciousness as "that environmentalist actor guy." He's no greeny-come-lately. Begley started driving an electric car in the 1970s and was using solar power long before it was vaguely chic, much less tax deductible.

"Now he's espousing the green way through a reality show on HGTV, "Living with Ed." In its second season, it follows his struggles with his less stringently eco wife Rachelle over things like a gigantic red rain barrel. He puts up solar Christmas lights, "audits" his celebrity friends' homes for their green factor, and rides a bike to power his toaster. And now he's spreading the message further with a book out in February 2008, "Living Like Ed: A Guide to the Eco-Friendly Life."

"Begley recently chatted with Beliefnet from his Los Angeles home about the importance of silence, not rushing into tranquility, and how we can all be gentler on the earth without roughing up our wallets."

You can read the rest of the fascinating interview: here.

While we're on the subject of green living, I have been looking around at new green sites to add my (ever-growing) list of worthy links, and I came upon this one

To whit, a site focusing on the environment of Cyprus and beyond - very exciting to stumble on for an oft-frustrated inhabitant of this beautiful island, whose natural resources are taken for granted by most of us who live here.

The link above takes you to, "The 10 Environmental Commandments", which site author Brian Ellis introduces in the following way:

"These 10 Commandments are tips to save you money, as well as to help protect the environment. Each Cypriot, man woman and child, produces on an average over 10 tonnes of carbon dioxide from fossil fuels each year. This is the main greenhouse gas, responsible for climate change or global warming. This is about 40 to 50 per cent more than many western European countries and is a blot on our nation’s escutcheon. By following these ten simple commandments, we can make a significant dent in this hefty amount of pollution. At the same time, our air would be healthier to breathe and, above all, we can save a lot of money, both individually and collectively."

Needless to say, I'll be returning to the "Cyprus: The Environment" site frequently to check for updates on eco-happenings round the island.

Mastery, Transformation and Changing the Dream

"Everything is a dream and only the dream exists. To explain ourselves and the world, we like to make divisions. The two main divisions are the dream and the dreamer. The dreamer dreams, yet the dream is there even without the dreamer because many other dreamers are maintaining it.

"We adapt to the same frequency as the dream of the planet. The dream guides the dreamer, not the other way around. We are what we believe we are, but our position in the dream changes as our awareness changes. We become aware of how we dream and of our position in it. Once we are aware that everything is a dream, we become aware that the dream is a nightmare.

"With Mastery of Transformation we can change the whole dream. It must happen at the personal level. Only by transforming ourselves, one person at a time, will the whole dream eventually be changed.

"In history, we see that human beings have always searched for eternal happiness. We seek a state of grace or a state of bliss in heaven or Nirvana or Olympus. With the kind of dream that dominates this planet, it seems impossible to reach our goal of happiness. The Toltecs knew how difficult it is to be happy. They explored how to change the dream and they discovered the first two masteries: The first is awareness and the second is personal transformation.

-----------------------------------

"The way to control the dream when we are awake is by making choices. Throughout the universe there is a process of action and reaction. The dream reacts to our choices."

From Beyond Fear: A Toltec Guide to Freedom and Joy - The Teachings of Don Miguel Ruiz by Mary Carroll Nelson and Don Miguel Ruiz

Adieu!

Goodbye, cruel, vain and unappreciative world!

Here, in my mortal hand, wield I, Aloysius of the House of Dav, my goodly six-iron - gifted, incidentally, to me, by the Baron de Rothschild in a moment of caprice, and with which I intend to offer my corporeal self on the altar of the unflinching gods.

True, the celestial ones blessed me profoundly: looks, wit, fashion sense and good hair - all of these were mine. Yet what of that? All is meaningless in light of humanity's indifference!

No amount of talent could make up for the fact that I remain unlauded, undiscovered. I suppose I should have applied myself more, taken more intiative. But all of that is so plebeian, so unbearably vulgar! Far better this than any such concession to mundanity.

But ah, how this has cost me. And I don't just mean in terms of drycleaning my Dolce e Gabbana jeans. Nor my Savile Row three-piecers.

No, I speak of the wrenching cost in terms of self regard, self love - amour-propre, which relies, alas, on the estimation of others.

When one is unloved, uncared for, unnoticed and, oh - cruelest of all! - unworshipped, one may as well shuffle off this mortal coil. And that right quickly.

Speak not to me of gratitude. What know you of self pity, gentles?

'Tis true, I graced the finest schools, mingled with the finest minds and ate at the finest tables.

'Tis true, I led a life of ease and plenty with little to show for it after all these years.

Every manner of opportunity might have been mine had I but tried a little more diligently to make my mark. Been just that smidgen more - dare I say - industrious. Bold. Not to mention, just a fraction less entitled.

Had I had a little more humility, a willingness to - as Americans like to put it - suck it up.

But the die is cast, the fates have decided and the oracle has spoken. Aloysius must perish, for he cannot lower himself to labor like the hoi polloi, merely to earn the respect and praise he craves.

In the words of the gracious Puck: "I go, I go; look how I go/ Swifter than arrow from the Tartar's bow."

(Act III, scene ii)

Adieu!

Pan's Labyrinth Revisited - Plutonian Goat and The End of Innocence

It's true that Guillermo del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth (or El Laberinto del Fauno) has now been out for a bit (released on my beloved one's 26th birthday - October 11, 2006), but it suddenly struck me how well the central mythical creature - Pan (or 'the faun' if you're sticking to the Spanish) - hinted at the Pluto in Capricorn ingress later this month.

Goatish Pan (Capricorn), in this film, is a creature of darkest (Pluto) fantasy, and while he reveals himself to the young heroine, Ofelia, from the depths of a crumbling well in a bid to help her 'reclaim' her kingdom as a fairy queen, he bars her access (Saturn - ruler of Capricorn) until she has successfully passed three arduous tests.

Named for the drowned, mad-driven lover of Hamlet, I associated Ofelia with the sacrificing, emotional, mystical element of water. While Pan, to me, was a creature of deepest, darkest earth.

Having come out of the highly confusing, chaotic frustration of the recent Saturn-Neptune opposition, it was interesting to think of this dynamic mirrored in the movie. Pan and his call for Ofelia to return to her kingdom as its rightful queen (the past, monarchs, Capricorn, Saturn) both challenged the depths of Ofelia's imagination and fantasy (Neptune) and demanded sacrifices (Neptune) of her in the brutal 'real' world of general Francisco Franco's fascist Spain.

But more overtly, Pan's mission for Ofelia - to reclaim her kingdom through ordeals, facing even death - seems to me to have been a remarkable metaphor for our imminent plunge into a Capricornian Underworld. Not to mention that the struggle between Franco-allied soldiers (Saturn) and Spanish rebels (Uranus) also could be deemed a prescient representation of the upcoming opposition between these two planets.

But why am I talking about a film that is a less-than-a-recent release (and, therefore, out of sight, out of mind)? Well, it just happened to come up in an intense conversation with a cousin of mine this afternoon, a conversation chiefly concerned with the impending paradigm shift in civilisation, the collapse of our current economic model for living and the dire threat posed to humanity's survival by global warming, earth changes and over-population.

The world of Pan's Labyrinth, like the one we, the audience, are living in, is a dangerous place. The threat of death and annihilation is all around. The environment is harsh and unwelcoming. The authorities and powers that be (Capricorn) brutally suppress (Pluto) democracy, civil rights and self-expression.

But even though the crises and horrors mount in the film, Ofelia eventually triumphs - albeit paying a heavy price.

So, it remains for us to confront our collective fears of extinction (in the film's instance, Ofelia's voluntary journey to the Underworld), resist attempts by the powers that be to strip of us of our freedoms and accept the possibility of a sacred, new world that is both terrifying and magnificent.

In this way, we can work with the Plutonian and Capricornian energies to willingly die to our old way of life, and emerge (become resurrected) into the new.

4 a.m. tomorrow. today.

1.
this is impossible below the
scoured whites float all manner
of dusty devas from the corners

why is it still so hard to
forget what I cannot

subtract the winter printed under each
raw look-ball. Sleep has moved away. I
wait in vain in its old antechamber

I try to do what is expected, try to

never forget your past

2.
You a r e the same.

Short and dark like
the others, pipped by the same hypodermic
memo r ie s

shared by every tribemember:

the grey croco d ile of death

marches
the desert deaths the screams the burning
priests. You cannot shed any of it.

And not the same. You are things no
clansman ever owns or recognizes.
Infertile, refusing destiny of flesh
the shut door
dreaming your second coming
you are abnormal aberration anathema

you are forbidden but rem em ber

3.
What you could be

"Every other generation is ungrateful. Spits
out old-world heritage refuses to cooperate
neglects the flame. How dare you have a private

grief? You are not yours you are 1.5 million
voices you are lost lakes and territories you
are sung-chanted psalms in the familiar the
obscure church tongue
you are musk incense the heavy women
nose-heavy men the 38 letters of an alphabet
seen mostly by a saint on a wall in a vision.

Do not forget the language of your ancestors,
their history, their (your) pain

4.
In the whited desert of no-sleep, the buzzing dunes
beyond the window-maw, the black gape,
reconcile yourself to being who you

are not who they say

only
who you

I know I am who
I am not s/he I am not you

do not forget

New Hampshire and Spiritual Politics

Since the world is agog with the upcoming results of the New Hampshire caucus in the US presidential race, after the recent surprise triumph of Barack Obama and Mike Huckabee, I'm posting a highly interesting analysis of what the results of the second key caucus might mean on a spiritual level.

Below is an excerpt from the beliefnet.com blog of Neale Donald Walsch, one of today's most interesting and gifted New Age authors, and responsible for the bestselling Conversations With God series.

Arguing that politics is a demonstration of spirituality (a view that, I, personally, agree with, irrespective of where we group ourselves formally in terms of faith/religion), Walsch writes:

"Did faith play any role in the Iowa results? I think it is obvious that it did. Surely on the GOP side there is no question that Mike Huckabee's pedigree as a Baptist minister helped him tremendously. Whether that will count as much in New Hampshire will be the Big Question tomorrow. Likewise, if there really is some hesitation among the electorate about putting a Mormon in the White House (there should not be, and I would hope with all my might that we would never go to that place any more in America), there are analysts who say that this would be more likely to show up in Iowa -- a religiously conservative state -- than in New Hampshire...a neighbor of the state where Romney was elected governor.

"On the Democratic side, some fascinating stuff in play. Exit polls showed that while Clinton garnered the majority of votes from woman caucus goers over age 60, those under 60 voted overwhelmingly for Obama. This means that Obama captured the youth vote...and if he can do that across America, the Democratic nomination is his -- presuming he can get young people to actually go to the polls.

"That is not a small question. Young people are notoriously more apathetic than senior citizens when it comes to voting -- and perhaps for good reason. They have felt, in most recent years, disaffected and disenfranchised, with their views largely marginalized. Until now. They may be seeing Barack Obama as their Voice within The System. And wouldn't that be interesting...

"Is America ready -- at last -- to elect a black person President of the United States? I think it would be historically, socially, and politically beyond exciting. So, too, if we elected a Mormon. Or a woman. Or an Hispanic. Or an openly gay person.

"This is just such an historic primary season, because we have all of those kinds of candidates running for President -- and that says something remarkable about the place to which we have matured as an electorate. If politics is our spirituality demonstrated, we must have come to adopt a wonderfully inclusive spirituality in America. And I am not surprised. Tomorrow's God predicts flat out that we will create within the next 25 to 30 years an entirely new God -- that is, a new kind of God, a new understanding of the only God there ever was, is now, or ever will be."

You can read the rest of his fascinating post here.

The Capricorn New Moon and Manifestation

The Sun and Moon are now conjunct in Capricorn, the sign of manifestation.

This means we have a two-to-three-day window during this commencement of the new lunar cycle to send forth into the universe our highest aspirations, desires and hopes - not just for ourselves, but for our loved ones and all that lives - all creation in other words, since creation is very much Saturn-ruled Capricorn's realm (though it helps if Neptune's involved, too).

With the powerful Capricorn energy dominating over the next day or so, we are given a particularly potent window of opportunity to channel our intentions for new projects outward and give thanks for what we already enjoy and what we are yet to receive.

This evening, I reminded myself of my most positive aspirations, since I so often struggle with the lowest vibrations of anxiety, depression, fear and negativity. I gave myself licence to remember what I hoped for for myself - to remember, in other words, my highest self.

I looked into my heart and saw a mighty being of light - a light far greater than the terrors that usually threaten to overwhelm it.

I saw creativity, joy and daring. I saw a gratitude mighty as the sun, reaching forth with every action to embrace life and to send out love and healing.

I imagined a consciousness pure of every kind of bias, prejudice and limitation. Of limitless generosity and grace.

No longer a slave to pessimissm, fear and shame, anxiety, insecurity and timidity, I invited my grandest, strongest, wisest, most compassionate self to me.

May the beginning of the new lunar month make us all agents of our highest aspirations, to serve and to love others, regardless of reward, and to help each other manifest our dreams.

Light, love and peace to all.

Fears for Every Taste and Inclination (Plus a Soupçon of Hope)

Here are two really interesting articles on environment-related issues. To make you shake in your boots (but I promise the more timorous of you I end on a good note).

You may ask me why I do this, post stuff that scares the living bejesus out of me. Well, I've always been of the opinion that fears have to be confronted, if only to be overcome. And let me tell you, being a Sun-Jupiter combo in Pisces, squared by Neptune, I tend to live - or "choose to experience" as the latest shrink rightly pointed out today - some of the biggest, juiciest, slaver-fanged nightmares of them all.

Firstly, an excellent article on the cost of China's economic growth from the boys and gals down at Mother Jones, which y'all can read here: www.motherjones.com/news/feature/2008/01/the-last-empire.html

My thanks to Lynn Hayes of the Astrodynamics blog (http://astrodynamics.blogspot.com/index.html) for alerting me to the article.

And if that doesn't give you night sweats, how about the following for yer readin' plesh? I came across it from the terrific WorldChanging site (which if you haven't checked out, you simply must) : http://www.wsws.org/articles/2000/oct2000/poll-o06.shtml

That's fair, right? In the interests of balance, we mustn't forget the US when making a little list of uber-polluters.

DIGRESSION: At some point, I'll post some articles from the Cyprus Mail website, too, to bring in my own, humble island's contribution to this area.

But I promised you a slightly more upbeat ending to this post. So, here's an Agence France Presse piece regarding Beijing's decision to get hard data on the actual scale of environmental damage done to China in the course of economic growth trumping eco-respect: http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5h6tJL7WXplzyQEqzZPxh-u4B0wgQ

Gathering hard data is a positive sign. It means the powers that be in this fast-developing nation are seeing the writing on the wall.

Also, for those of you versed in astrologese, Lynn Hayes had this to say:

"Remember that Pluto [planet associated in astrology with death and resurrection] rules over breakdown and destruction, followed by transformation. The elevation of Ceres to planet status has coincided with the eruption into mass consciousness of an acceptance (finally!!) of the need to protect the planet's resources. Capricorn is concerned with matters of business, factories, governments, anywhere things are made and commerce is conducted. The emergence of China as a world power, without the democracy that helps to put safeguards in place, is likely to be the focal point of the Pluto in Capricorn period. Already we are seeing the emergence of a deadly "people's revolution" to protest the devastation of the environment there that is likely to come to a head with the upcoming square of Uranus in Aries to Pluto in Capricorn."

Amen to that, say I. The sooner ordinary people join forces (and they are, amigo) to take their children's future security into their hands - since our slothful governments worldwide will ever drag their feet - the better.

But What Good Are the Artists, Anyway?

The most sublime spectacle I have ever seen was a performance of Aram Khachaturian's ballet, Spartacus, performed in the Cypriot coastal town of Limassol four summers ago by the Kirov company (to which Rudolf Nureyev initially belonged).

To me, there is nothing more breathtaking visually than the human body in motion - particularly the sculpted heroic bodies of dancers. And it doesn't get much more heroic and inspiring than Spartacus.

Of course, the music was wonderful, too, and it didn't hurt that one of my favourite films from childhood was Stanley Kubrick's 1960 film of the same name starring Kirk Douglas, Laurence Olivier, Peter Ustinov, Jean Simmons, Charles Laughton and Tony Curtis.

Tonight, I happened to watch beautiful ballet performed by leading dancers from the Paris Opera.

And as I sat there watching the results of formidable discipline and dedication, not to mention, the artistic director and choreographer's compositions, it occured to me that while art and artists - performing or otherwise - feed our souls, they might be swept away as so much human debris or flotsam if a worldwide war over resources or global starvation due to crop (and land) failure occured.

Those elegant dancers, as well as all the actors, filmmakers, singers, songwriters, composers, visual artists, designers - even writers, could be reduced to being mere flesh, desperately craving food, shelter and safety for their loved ones in such a nightmarish event.

For those of us who are creative and were lucky enough to be born in the developed West, does it ever occur to us, we could ever be reduced to nothing more than desperate human beings?

With no other purpose in life, but to survive?

Når Vi Døde Vågner...

... better known in English as, When We Dead Awaken, is the last play written by the great Norwegian dramatist Henrik Ibsen.

I have yet to read it, but have been fascinated by the title ever since I first heard of the play, given my own consuming need to engage with death, transformation and meaning.

Just for fun, here are some quick facts about When We Dead Awaken.

• It was published in 1899 and first peformed in 1900 in Sttutgart.


• Some have attacked the play as being a mere 'echo' of Ibsen's earlier, superior works, due to the lack of realism of its characters and its exaggerated symbolism - something he had apparently rejected as an approach in his writing.


• It is also said to be Ibsen's most dream-like play, suffused with existential yearning, regret and, perhaps, transcendence - though the work apparently does not answer its seemingly most urgent question: how can we 'awaken' in this life, in which we are encouraged, in so many ways, to remain in a state akin to death?

Borrowing from Wikipedia's synopsis of the play:

"Arnold Rubek, a celebrated sculptor and his wife, Maia, find themselves tense and ill at ease while traveling. Maia finds herself drawn to Ulfheim, a brutal hunter who contrasts sharply with her cold, withdrawn husband. Rubek, for his part, encounters Irene, a beautiful woman from his past. Awakening memories, desires, and an acute existential crisis in Rubek, Irene leads him to a mountaintop. As they approach the summit, both are killed in an avalanche. From the valley below, we hear Maia singing exultantly."

So, you may ask, what am I getting at? Why is this play on my mind and why am I blogging about it this evening?

Put simply: I was thinking about Awakening with a capital 'A' and how, in a myriad of different forms - and from a truly diverse set of sources - there is more and more talk of it.

Indeed, whether we like it or not, humankind seems to be rapidly reaching some kind of turning point in its collective history.

And if we tune in to the slightly-less-mainstream news analyses and reportage of day-to-day events, gussied up by the usual number crunching and token quotes, we find that people are heralding a dramatic shift in how we are to experience each other, time, our planet, our understanding of the universe and even, for those open to it, God.

Time, itself, is apparently changing. I say 'changing' to cover the various claims that is speeding up or slowing down or due to stop altogether. Linear time, that is. Once it does - and depending on whom you read or listen to, it could be October 28, 2011 or December 21, 2012 - the world's 'time' counter restarts from 'zero' or we enter a multidimensional, 'timeless' state or both or neither.

And this comes about either through a cataclysm such as pole shift, or a catastrophic global economic recession (eg. when Peak Oil is reached or Global Warming speeds up to such an extent we have to discontinue unclean energy even before we have the necessary technologies in place to continue our way of life), which sets of WWIII (Armageddon) for resources, or wave upon wave of different energy vibrations (which affect us and, hence, the earth - which is an extension of our consciousness).

Or all of the above.

What most seem to agree on, though, despite disagreements on how the 'awakening' will manifest, is that a grand paradigm shift is on its way - a breakdown of the dualistic, left-brain perceptions of the world, and a rise of a feminine, diversity-embracing perspective and a new awareness of the staggering interconnectedness of life.

And it makes sense that religions such as Baha'i, which stress the dawn of a new unity, knitting together our diversity, are growing steadily.

Awakening.

I wonder how this will all shape up. Lately, nothing at all seems certain. Life seems very fragile, and things I took for granted regarding the future seem like dreams.

Perhaps this is all a dream we are dreaming collectively, and we're about to be (rudely?) awakened.

Will those now alive - my parents' generation, my generation, and all those younger and still being born - have to live through a global conflagration? A physical, economic and societal breakdown (and hopefully rebirth)?

And will our awakening - that we are all one and interconnected and interdependent - be born from an ultimate calamity, or arise in spite of it, or merely concurrent with it?

Or will we awaken and avert or ameliorate a calamity?