Apocalypse Now. Definitely Maybe.

"The promise of a recovery of a long-lost Golden Age reverberates through countless myths. The heart-chord it strikes has inspired visionaries and idealists from time immemorial. As well, it fuels a healthy discontent – the flip side of modern anxiety – that refuses to believe that this is the best we can do. It is an indignation, a muted outrage that can be allayed temporarily by comforts and luxuries, that can be subdued, temporarily, by survival anxiety, that is always strongest in the young, and that lies latent in all of us, ever-ready to be roused into a crusading idealism, though often coopted toward the perpetuation of the very conditions that give it rise. It is my purpose, dear reader, to give voice to your indignation and to reaffirm your intuitive knowledge that life is meant to be more."

From "Waiting for the Big One" by Charles Eisenstein, Reality Sandwich

Continuing from yesterday's post, I simply had to draw attention to another really great pick from the web magazine Reality Sandwich, which puts the current spike in 2012 and apocalyptic fervor into perspective.

I'd like to say Eisenstein offers good news. But he doesn't. At least, not exactly. What he offers is hope and a certain 'realistic' or 'grounded' line of approach to what he believes is the inevitable: the breakdown of life as we know it. Which would be pretty darn depressing if he didn't also add the following:

"Today we already can catch a glimpse of the technologies-social forms as well as paradigms of material production-of a future in love with life, which encompasses the love of being alive as well as the love of living beings. They are the technologies of sun, soil, and water, of bioenergy and rhythm, light and sound, word and touch, mind and dreaming, matter and information. All of them arise from and embody a different understanding of self and world. Just as present-day social forms and technologies both spring from and reinforce separation, 21st century technology will be both a cause and an effect of separation's reversal-a very different understanding of the universe articulated on every level from psychology to cosmology. As our crises intensify we will be faced with new choices and new possibilities. Let us recognize the full ramifications and full power of the choices that will soon open up to us."

You can read the full article here.

Oh, and on a not-so-very-related note (my Aquarius Mercury and Mars apologise), earlier this evening I learned (via the excellent NorthNodeastrology blog - checkitout) of a good place to go if you want to do something about the apalling suffering of women in sexual violence-ridden Congo. You know exactly the sort of despicable and cruel acts I mean - rape, mutilation and murder. In light of this ongoing barbarity, please consider going to Women for Women International, which is an organization committed to providing "financial and emotional" support to women "on the margins of hope", either to make a donation or sponsor an individual rape victim directly.

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow

I have just finished reading a non-fiction book: The Psychology of Spirituality by Baha'i author and psychiatrist and lecturer H. B. Danesh (http://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Spirituality-H-B-Danesh/dp/1895456053/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1199044724&sr=8-1) that was a little dense, though interesting and well-written nonetheless.

One of the things he talked about a lot was how humankind was beginning to enter the age of maturity after going through a rebellious, individualist and self-centred stage. When I say interesting, I mean from the point of view that so many writers from different camps are, today, talking about a new paradigm shift that's very close to coming to pass.

The New Age community is abuzz with the energy and conciousness changes that are apparently affecting earth and humankind, and the potential for a new, enhanced, creative and loving existence for all beings. Scientists, environmentalists and economists are predicting a dramatic shift in world infrastructure - the breakdown of an unsustainable model of living the world over and a possible return to an earlier, agricultural society. And now, I stumble on this psychiatrist talking about our spiritual maturity to come.

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." 1 Corinthians 13:11

If we are truly on the verge of new understanding, a new walk with God, with fellow human beings and with all of creation - as I believe more and more that we are - why am I so scared?

Well, I'm scared because the 'shift' can mean anything. Change is in the air, and I'm terrified. Will there be dire world poverty and woe as economies on a mass-scale collapse? Will there be wars over scant resources and pandemics and crippling waves of immigration?

These are certainly some of the scourges of climate change predicted by scientists today.

Will there be pole shift in 2012 and wipe most of us out?

And if any or all of this comes to pass, will that truly prompt a spiritual breakthrough?

I dream of a world where problems are dealt with in true cooperation. I dream of a world where everything is powered by clean, renewable energy; where natural spaces are protected and revered; where war is unheard of - as is any kind of violence; where children are always wanted and brought up in the midst of a loving, wise community in which young and old are both respected and represented.

I dream of a time where the planet will be blessed by the commonplace awareness on the part of all living beings of the interconnectedness of everything.

I dream of a world that is motivated and run by love. And yes, I know that, right now, such a place can only exist in my imagination. But that's what keeps me going to reach beyond my fear of the unknown, deprivation, pain, sorrow and death.

"Après moi, le déluge" or "After me, let the floods come" is a quote attributed to the French King Louis XV who preferred, in his reign, not to tackle the serious problems he saw affecting the monarchy, allowing them to proliferate and fall on the lap of his successor.

World government-wise, this is where we seem to be at right now - and how I wish the US elections were done with and that we didn't have a year to go.

But this is where we're at. Waiting. And on almost the eve of the New Year, I know that change and the unknown are very, very ordinary, common things. Change is the one constant and the best way to embrace it is with hope, faith and love.

I guess the Christian take on things filters through whenever I least expect it...

The Danesh book was lent to me by my former teacher; I returned it today to him on the occasion of a gathering he and his wife were holding at their village home to mark the Baha'i feast day of Sharaf.

After a tasty lunch, we set off for a walk in the countryside along a path that followed the river. Along the way, we were each asked to reflect on a quote from the Baha'i writings. Mine was as follows:

"The gift of God to this enlightened age is the knowledge of the oneness of mankind and of the fundamental oneness of religion. Wars shall cease between nations, and by the will of God the Most Great Peace shall come; the world will be seen as a new world, and all men will live as brothers."

As we continued on our way, we came to a place where there were dignified olive trees, laden with fruit. And I gazed at their beauty, and the heavy, ripe olives, ready to be picked and pressed to oil, and the richness of the mud and water and stones and rocks around me. And I marvelled at how the natural world somehow manages to keep its purity, despite the indiscriminate garbage dumping and pollution that abounds. I guess some places are still sacred.

This is all rather strange and new in terms of outlook. I never used to be such a green freak before. I was always respectful of nature, but didn't think about it as intensely as I do now. I guess the thought that it might be ruined beyond all measure - and to wake up to how much we are dependent on the natural world to sustain us - has changed my view on things entirely.

Actually, my life has never before been so focused on survival, death and resurrection as it is now. The death of a beloved biology teacher when I was in my early twenties took years to get over, but the drastic life-or-death scenario that I believe the world is confronting today is something altogether different.

But then, I'm also older. My parents are older. My life has no particular shape or direction and, for the first time, I realise I have no real claim on the future - only an expectation.

For so many, that is a fact of life they live each day.

How many in Bangladesh or Indonesia or Africa or Pakistan or Afghanistan or Iraq or Kurdistan or Gaza really feel like they have a future?

Their best hope is for tomorrow. Not ten or twenty years. Just tomorrow. Or, perhaps, just getting to the end of the day.

I have never lived that way, and have no idea whether I could. I suppose if I had no other choice...

Sometimes I wish I could switch off my brain. Mercury in Aquarius, Virgo-rising, Moon within five degrees of the Sixth house and Cancer Saturn squaring Pluto and Venus do little to curb my ability to dream up horrors.

Tomorrow is the last day of 2007.

May the new year bring us understanding, peace, goodwill, wisdom, compassion and cooperation. Our future depends on it as never before.

Natal Saturn and Cutting the Anxious Some Slack

I was thinking, today, that it's so unfair some types are endowed with seemingly endless enthusiasm and self-confidence, while others struggle every day with neuroses, free-floating anxiety, guilt, fear and soul-destroying self-doubt.

What gets my goat even more is that the former usually end up overtly or covertly blaming the latter for perpetuating their own woes. Or, at the very least, end up sounding intensely patronizing when they're genuinely trying to be supportive or encouraging.

"Grow up," or "Deal with it," or "Suck it up," or "Stop being a loser," or "What, you think you're the only one?" or "You're [insert number] years old for chrissake..." or "You're choosing to be unhappy," or "Until you accept [insert person/situation], you're going to feel bad," or even, my personal fave, "Noone can help you, but you".

Before anyone jumps on me for presuming to speak for the less-assertive and self-esteem-possessing, let me be the first to say, right here and now, that I believe experiencing suffering and negativity is a personal choice, and that what happens to us and how we live our lives does depend, much of the time, on our choices and application of will.

But.

I am also of the opinion that, from the point of view of natal Astrology, our birth charts point to inclinations toward positivity or negativity that we come into the world hardwired to manifest in varying degrees. And these take far more application of will, self-discipline and self-knowledge to overcome.

A good indicator of the flavour of anxiety and fear in our lives, as well as the sphere of life it is likely to be most operative in, is the condition and position of Saturn in the birth chart.

In our Saturnian world of order and ego-protecting boundaries, we pooh-pooh (and are deeply threatened by) Neptune's vague and profoundly irrational terrors - all very Twelfth House stuff and, consequently, dismissed in the harsh light of day and conveniently locked up in our astrological house of ghosts.

To my endless chagrin, the Cosmic Taskmaster when I was born was in its detriment in Cancer. Cancer Saturns bode ill for early family life and amplify the desperate hunger for material (and emotional) security. In my Eleventh House of friends, hopes and wishes, it marks an unease in social gatherings or groups, an awkwardness with companions of my own age, and a paranoia about being able to provide for myself or, conversely, a horror of dependency.

The Greater Malefic in my birth chart is also retrograde, which, as Lynn Hayes of Astrodynamics (http://astrodynamics.blogspot.com/index.html) accurately points out, "shows a strong tendency towards self-criticism and low self-esteem."

In addition, Saturn contacts my birth Venus in Aries and Pluto in Libra in a rather trying T-square, and is quincunx vague and illusory Neptune in Sagittarius.

Add to that an ultra-receptive Sun-Jupiter conjunction in Pisces, and Sun-Neptune square and it might be fair to say that it doesn't take much to send me teetering to the edge of the collective abyss.

Lucky for me, my Capricorn moon usually kicks me in the arse and gets me into gear to plod onward, despite the ever-present desire not to get out of bed in the morning, soundly admonishing me for being such a self-pitying mound of jelly at times. It's a masochistic M.O. but, so far, it's one of the few things that forces me to fight the blackness when it comes and not simply succumb to despair.

To be fair, though, having come this far at the grand old age of almost-33, I accept and acknowledge that there really is a personal power in everyone to take control of their lives - even when everything else seems in chaos. Whatever the length of our lifespan and the limitations of our material circumstances, we can choose to face fears, however irrational, and accept the possibility of pain and vulnerability and uncertainty, not to mention responsibility for our happiness and peace of mind.

Perhaps it ultimately does come down to a triumph of the will, if one may disassociate the notion from Nazi documentarian Leni Riefenstahl's film of the same name.

And my Mars-Pluto and Sun-Saturn trines can only help on that score.