Reclaiming natal Saturn in Cancer

When I first began to study astrology, I was not exactly thrilled to discover that Saturn in my chart was in its detriment, in Cancer.

In fact, not only is Saturn - in my 11th house - in its detriment, but it forms the 'handle' of a bucket chart, through which all the other energies represented must find expression.

 At times, it's been a 'sore tooth' indeed.

Security-needing, anxious and overly-sensitive 11H Saturn in Cancer is the reminder of my early years in the shadow of a divorce and changes of residence; a symbol of the weakened position of my biological father in my life; a pointer to the deep unease and fear of social rejection due to 'not fitting in' at school or obeying the norms of career and life-path in the conservative country of my birth.

It is also a reminder of the weakened state of my birthplace - since Cyprus was invaded by Turkey in 1974, and is still, to this day, divided.

This particular Saturn also forms the 'leg' of a cardinal T-square, meaning in this case it is squared by Pluto in Libra and Venus in Aries, magnifying the levels of social unease, self-consciousness, anxiety and insecurity, and cranking up the need to control and protect myself whether in a group or one-to-one interactions.

Saturn is additionally retrograde, which, as the astrologer Lynn Hayes often points out, amplifies and internalizes the taskmaster voice of harsh self-criticism.

However.

I am now at a point where I acknowledge fear and insecurity to be truly a waste of my energy, as is the perception that this Saturn is irredeemable.

Hence, I have been trying to reclaim the so-called 'greater malefic's' power in a positive way, as part of a broader personal project of truly embracing, accepting and, dare I say it, loving, who I am. Flaws and all.

Among the things I've discovered during the process, is that this Saturn takes its family responsibilities very seriously.

This Saturn wants to be a wise and dedicated father - a strong, devoted head of a family, able to provide the resources for his dependents to thrive. Never belittling them, but rather guiding, supporting, protecting, cherishing and serving them.

Further, this Saturn wants to lead; to be an architect of an enlightened community; a clan-builder operating beyond the dictates of mere blood or national ties.

If this Saturn takes itself very seriously, it is because it is preparing for a time in which service to society will require laying down sure foundations, based on an expanded familial model, and free of the over-sentimentality and guilt that familiar loyalties can create.

Therefore, in the days to come, I want to take an unflinching look at myself, my core roots and identity, both the good and the bad, without repressing any associated feelings.

More than anything, I want to identify the defenses I assembled when I was little and slowly dismantle them. The current square to Capricorn Pluto can only be a boon to this process.

My next post will be all about the dark side of the Ninth. Stay tuned.

******

For those new to astrology, a good analysis of the meaning of Saturn in Cancer can be found in Jeff Jawer's excellent essay here.



The image above of Saturn Devouring One of His Sons by Goya was taken from this site.

Metaphysical makeovers & multiple healing modalities, aka Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron in Aquarius redux

Remember the three spiritual heavyweights that have been spending quality time together this year?

I mean Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron in Aquarius, the planetary combo other than the Saturn-Uranus opposition and Saturn-Pluto square that have been in the astrological headlines in 2009.

'member them?

Well, they're still hanging out in my sixth house. And as a Virgo rising, Mercury and Mars in Aquarius kind of fella, I've been undergoing something of a metaphysical makeover this year. Not to mention, an initiation into multiple healing modalities I hadn't hitherto encountered.

I've been experimenting with a variety of meditation techniques, as well as affirmations, mental/energetic reprogramming, new systems of illumination and also journalling my hopes and aspirations in an invitation to the universe to dance with me, with who I am.

I've also had some needful (to me) surgery back in February, trusting that the merry trio in my house of work and health would bring the necessary recuperative powers to my body. They certainly have, praise God.

Looking back now, on this November 11:11 energetic gate, if I compare my present to where I was at the beginning of this difficult and fairly painful year, it's like I'm living another lifetime, a different incarnation.

And with almost completely different people as my confidantes and friends.

During this process, I have made very little money and progress in my professional career. And I have lost what was dearest to me: the girl I thought was going to be my wife and life companion. Not least because my 'otherworldly' interests and concerns could never be shared by her. And certainly the combo of spiritually-inclined filmmaker was never going to amount to the good provider that she, sincerely and honestly, deserves.

However, I am choosing to look upon this Jupe-Neppy-Chiron progress through my sixth as a shamanic dismemberment of sorts. Presumably the universe will eventually put me back together. I sense it's already been doing so, though I guess time will make it easier to gauge by how much.

Incidentally, if you want to read a really good post on the process of 'splitting apart' from the Human Design point of view, you can find it on the blog of Kim Gould, a very talented HD practitioner.

But to go back to how I began this post:

Jupiter, Neptune and Chiron in unemotional but visionary Aquarius have certainly made it impossible not to heal, expand my faith and horizons and make more peace with my path this year.

For this I am very grateful, and whenever my heart fills with sorrow, I'm trying to open it anyway. I don't always succeed, but I know for sure my life is beautiful and the universe benevolent, wise and ultimately joyous. It's been a rich year.







The image above was taken from this site.

Saturn in Libra: Courtesy, or else...

Is it me? Or is the gentle art of bullying getting a lot of (negative) press lately?

Why, yes. Yes it is.

Unsurprising, giving Saturn's ingress into the genteel and harmony-lovin' sign of the Scales.

This morning, while I was joyously perusing a promising-sounding job ad in the pages of the very newspaper I currently proofread for, my eyes fell on a syndicated article from the London Evening Standard, titled: "Does your office have bad manners?"

The choicest paragraphs include the following:

Pearson and Porath began their research looking at incidents of employees killing their colleagues. From this extreme, they worked back to examine every kind of workplace slight to understand why some forms of incivility are taken seriously, such as sexual harassment, while others are not.

Common examples of incivility, they found, included taking credit for other people's work, passing blame, checking emails during meetings, talking down to or not listening to others, making derogatory remarks and avoiding people.

What may seem trivial examples of bad office manners, they found, had a serious effect on morale and staff retention. Serious enough to get the attention of the companies with whom they shared their findings.

Before becoming an academic, Porath worked for a sports management and marketing company and had observed first-hand how people were affected by the constant belittlements, insults and verbal digs that were considered part of the firm's culture. Her research confirmed her fears.

After a single incident of incivility, not including anything sexual or physical, 48 per cent of the hundreds surveyed decreased their effort at work, 38 per cent intentionally decreased the quality of their work, 80 per cent wasted time worrying about the incident, 66 per cent said their performance declined and 78 per cent said their commitment to the firm declined.

Twelve per cent said they had left a company because of uncivil treatment. For firms already struggling with motivating and retaining staff, the figures were staggering. Behaviour which was regarded as everyday was actually deeply damaging.

“A lot of people don't realise what they're doing at the time,” says Porath. “And as people move up in an organisation, they are treated less and less honestly by their staff, so they have no idea how bad they are.”

You'd think this kind of observation would not warrant a formal study. And yet. The ingress of Saturn into a sign seems, invariably, to bring to light that which has always been obvious, but barely observed.

Rude people suck. They are uncool. They hurt others.

Those who know me well, know one of my pet hates - and I do mean HATES - is incivility.

Politeness, courtesy, graciousness... in a word, CIVILITY, costs absolutely nothing. Yet with the frequency with which it's so often tossed to the side, you'd think it was the rarest, most ridiculously dear and arduous skill to acquire or cultivate.

Personally, my money's on Saturn in Libra making it very, very important to practice social graces, including gentility, over the next two-and-a-half years.

Or else.

Especially with that long-term square to ambitious Pluto in Capricorn. Want to harm your chances of getting ahead? Then continue to be an uncouth, ill-mannered boor.

The choice is yours.





The image above was taken from this site.

What's a ninth guy like you doing...?

Greetings all.

I've been gone from this blog a long time. A long time. And for those who were interested readers, I apologise both for the hiatus and for disappointing you in terms of keeping up. Much has happened in the interim, and this is an attempt to zippily catch you up on what's going on in my life right now.

For one thing, I survived June, July and August 2009 in Cyprus.

While I love the intensity of the heat of summer on this island - it's pretty trippy walking down the street most times, it's THAT hot - I find the quiet, slow pace of life and the dearth of people (Nicosia, the capital where I live, becomes a ghost town in summer) very difficult to manage at times.

I suppose this is mostly because the intense heat, sluggish pace of life and reduced human contact turn me inward, when my natural inclination is to be on the go all the time and avoid those dark places in my mind, heart, soul.

However, the summer, for this very reason, is an optimal time for me to strip everything down to its bare bones, eat lightly and do lots of exercise and meditation. Which is precisely what I did.

The pain at my failed relationship is still with me. I've had spells when I haven't thought of the ex at all. Other times - such as this past October, when I returned to Cyprus after attending a short film festival in Tangier - I was overwhelmed with how much I missed her. Not to mention, last Friday, the ex before the current ex had her first baby. You'd have thought that her having been married for four years would have been enough for me to have moved on, but I guess some ties are very hard to sever.

Anyhoo, when I haven't been working on moving on from the detritus of my former romantic life, I have been learning and practising new spiritual techniques and forms of meditation, writing a screenplay for a new short and accepting clients for astrological readings.

Suffice it to say, I'm going to be posting much more regularly, recommitting to and re-investing in this blog, because I have a need to write and express myself very badly. I have a need to make contact with people and to unburden my mind and heart.

Consequently, there may be less polish, but I hope you'll bear with me, since writing to me has become much more important than cranking out the perfect post.

Oh yes, and in the meantime, I've stumbled on a new system of illumination - Human Design - which I think is amazing. You can google it for more information, but I'll be posting on that, as well as about my ongoing adventures in art, metaphysics and day-to-day human-ness (hopefully in the spirit of humane-ness, too).

On a completely unrelated note, how are we enjoying the transiting Saturn-Pluto square so far?

Saturn's currently in my second house (where natal Pluto in Libra lurks) and Pluto's in my Capricorn fifth. Selfworth-boosting income (Saturn in the second) that I can then focusedly plug into my filmmaking (Pluto in the fifth) is definitely proving a toughie to pull. Even more challenging with this particular transit, is moving beyond the fear/angst in trying to earn a decent income before daring to think about romance again.

So there you have it for the time being. More to come soon!