When I first began to study astrology, I was not exactly thrilled to discover that Saturn in my chart was in its detriment, in Cancer.
In fact, not only is Saturn - in my 11th house - in its detriment, but it forms the 'handle' of a bucket chart, through which all the other energies represented must find expression.
At times, it's been a 'sore tooth' indeed.
Security-needing, anxious and overly-sensitive 11H Saturn in Cancer is the reminder of my early years in the shadow of a divorce and changes of residence; a symbol of the weakened position of my biological father in my life; a pointer to the deep unease and fear of social rejection due to 'not fitting in' at school or obeying the norms of career and life-path in the conservative country of my birth.
It is also a reminder of the weakened state of my birthplace - since Cyprus was invaded by Turkey in 1974, and is still, to this day, divided.
This particular Saturn also forms the 'leg' of a cardinal T-square, meaning in this case it is squared by Pluto in Libra and Venus in Aries, magnifying the levels of social unease, self-consciousness, anxiety and insecurity, and cranking up the need to control and protect myself whether in a group or one-to-one interactions.
Saturn is additionally retrograde, which, as the astrologer Lynn Hayes often points out, amplifies and internalizes the taskmaster voice of harsh self-criticism.
However.
I am now at a point where I acknowledge fear and insecurity to be truly a waste of my energy, as is the perception that this Saturn is irredeemable.
Hence, I have been trying to reclaim the so-called 'greater malefic's' power in a positive way, as part of a broader personal project of truly embracing, accepting and, dare I say it, loving, who I am. Flaws and all.
Among the things I've discovered during the process, is that this Saturn takes its family responsibilities very seriously.
This Saturn wants to be a wise and dedicated father - a strong, devoted head of a family, able to provide the resources for his dependents to thrive. Never belittling them, but rather guiding, supporting, protecting, cherishing and serving them.
Further, this Saturn wants to lead; to be an architect of an enlightened community; a clan-builder operating beyond the dictates of mere blood or national ties.
If this Saturn takes itself very seriously, it is because it is preparing for a time in which service to society will require laying down sure foundations, based on an expanded familial model, and free of the over-sentimentality and guilt that familiar loyalties can create.
Therefore, in the days to come, I want to take an unflinching look at myself, my core roots and identity, both the good and the bad, without repressing any associated feelings.
More than anything, I want to identify the defenses I assembled when I was little and slowly dismantle them. The current square to Capricorn Pluto can only be a boon to this process.
My next post will be all about the dark side of the Ninth. Stay tuned.
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For those new to astrology, a good analysis of the meaning of Saturn in Cancer can be found in Jeff Jawer's excellent essay here.
The image above of Saturn Devouring One of His Sons by Goya was taken from this site.
