Showing posts with label liz greene. Show all posts
Showing posts with label liz greene. Show all posts

Monday, December 29, 2008

Capricorn as Teacher Part II


Time for visualisations, gratitude and affirmation, as the window of opportunity afforded by the new moon in Capricorn closes.

Capricorn is the sign on my natal Fifth house cusp - what astrologers describe as given over to love affairs, children, creative projects and speculative activities such as games and gambling. A house mostly of pleasure in other words.

Can't say such matters have been a barrel of laughs for me. For one thing, Capricorn is ruled by cosmic taskmaster Saturn. And the square between Saturn and Venus (conjunct Chiron) in my natal chart has meant love has required plenty of sacrifice and heartache. Granted, I've grown a great deal from such heartache, but not by choice.

Alright, enough boo-hooing on that score.

In general, as a fairly Saturnian (and Plutonian) sort - my Moon is at 29 degrees of Capricorn at the end of the aforementioned house - the kind of lightheartedness associated with the Fifth was never going to happen for me. Which is not to say that I haven't had many happy or tender moments. Or that the tougher moments haven't taught me a lot. But love, creativity and pleasure have been very much of the Capricorn/Saturn kind: ie. the type that come with a lot of set-backs, disappointments and often crushing self-awareness thrown in.

And now, dear old Pluto's moved in for a goodly time. More hard work in store. Which is okay, I hasten to add since, with my Virgo ascendant and Aquarius Mercury and Mars in the Sixth (not to mention that pesky Capricorn Moon) I need work in order to be able to live with myself. Work brings me meaning, and stretches of too much free time sends me teetering into doubt, despair and severe depression.

But work of the kind that Pluto now promises scares me. The kind that is deep, profound, relentless and pitiless on the weakest links. That kind of work in the area of love, where I so often feel inadequate and vulnerable, is terrifying.

Not to mention, Pluto will be filling out the fourth arm in my natal cardinal T-Square between Saturn, Venus and birth Pluto, and at some point, conjuncting my Moon. What does this frankly unappetising transit bode for the timorous such as myself?

The only response I can offer lies in the virtues of Capricorn. Or rather, only a Capricornian answer seems possible, as dictated by Saturn, that "old devil" planet astrologers used to call the Greater Malefic.

My riposte to the uncertainty of possible trauma and loss ahead is the following:

- I will surrender to and carry out the work necessary without complaint to the best of my ability.

- I will choose to face and willingly assume every responsibility placed on me.

- I will visualise and nurture a positive plan for my future -and be unafraid to cultivate one that might include possible public acclaim.

- I will accept the limitations and obstacles placed in my path without giving in to apathy, despair or self-pity.

- I will freely, patiently and dedicatedly strive to lay strong foundations - however slow the process - to better the lives of others as well as myself, no matter how small such an improvement might be.

-I will commit to becoming the best leader, lover, artist, servant and teacher I can be.

-I will shake off the burdens that are not mine, forgive all enemies and slough away grudges. I will also forgive myself my mistakes.

-I will accept myself, shake off my cynicism and climb the mountain. That above all: I will climb the mountain. And I will do so with a young and unguarded heart.

At this time of the Capricorn new moon, I thank the universe for all the creativity, love, needful risks and new life that is to come my way over the next several years. May Pluto in Capricorn help me to build a truer, purer joy both in my life and that of others.

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For a breezier take on the virtues of Capricorn as Teacher, read one of my earlier posts here.






The image above was taken from this site.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Capricorn as Teacher

It really was a Capricornian sort of day, even though I had completely forgotten we'd run out of Sadge.

I had few expectations when I got up, other than a vague plan to get some exercise. Since my last job ended mid-November (note how my anxious, self-worth-associated-with-labour Virgo Ascendant and Cap moon specify how recently I became unemployed) I've had a lot of time to think and, frankly, it's been rather bad for my mental health.

Consequently, my usual penchant to be physically active whenever possible has been rather non-existent. You'd have thought the promise of endorphins would have made me keen to hop on the family's walking machine, but part of my battle with anxiety has been connected with the climate crisis, possible looming catastrophe and how much electricity we consume. So, I've been loath to use anything that has to be plugged into a power outlet.

But today, exercise was definitely on the schedule. It was the only thing on the schedule - other than blogging - so, by God, it was going to happen.

A perfect Capricorn day for it, it was, too. Cold and dry weather, the house freezing and a sort of reserved, unemotional series of exchanges among the fam. Also, a surprisingly more measured conversation between my younger brother (home for the holidays from London) and myself than we've had in years. Even the date seemed appropriate, 22 is a powerful irreduceable number - the master builder - and most fitting with the Saturn-ruled sign's energy.

I excused myself after lunch to head off on a "short walk". My plan was mostly to head to a nearby gym that I'd spotted, to see if it had membership rates I was prepared to pay and what the equipment looked like. Of course it was closed - though the nearby bike shop was open, so I enjoyed looking at the wares and scoping out possible cycles to buy.

Again, my environmental anxiety has meant driving anywhere in our public-transport-almost-non-existent city is accompanied by deep concern at the amount of exhaust fumes I help pour into the atmosphere when I'm behind the wheel - even though I do love driving. Hence, thoughts of bike purchases. Also, it would be nice to cycle again as a way of keeping fit - though doing so in Nicosia is pretty much taking your life into your hands, given that most drivers consider cyclists an irritating inconvenience and there are no bikepaths to speak of.

No impulse-buyer I, my stringent Capricorn moon left the shop with information on price ranges, models, and useful accessories like helmets and locks. I'll be back, hopefully - once I've weighed up the benefits of owning a bike over the inconvenience of not having a great space to keep it in our building - and the 200 CYP I'd need to fork out for it when I'm not earning.

Then the walk began in earnest, and boy, with the exhaust fumes from the vehicles roaring past me and the patchy pavements that were often taken over by parked cars, it wasn't easy. Most of the time I felt queasy from the CO I was inhaling.

Still, I did pass by some unexpected little undeveloped plots of land with olive trees rising out of the clover. And I stopped to give thanks for nature's resilience. Even in our blindness and greed in expending earth's resources without giving it a second thought, plants and animals around us somehow survive. Not all do, of course. Many die - and too many become tragically extinct.

But if we open our eyes just a little along our familiar haunts, the natural world that is the realm of earthy Capricorn is hardier than we believe. And that filled me with gratitude, today.

I thanked the olive trees for gracing my path and picked up some of the garbage that was lying about.

Eventually, I ended up at an English-language bookstore (one of the few in Nicosia, in the predominantly Greek-speaking Republic of Cyprus) and headed for the New Age section. A rare treat - usually I can't get there during the store's normal hours of operation. But this being the countdown to Christmas, it was open far longer than usual.

In a bookstore, it doesn't take long for me to experience 'flow'. This particular afternoon, I became eventually engrossed in Kyriacos C. Markides' The Magus of Strovolos: The Extraordinary World of a Spiritual Healer (check it out here: http://www.amazon.com/Magus-Strovolos-Extraordinary-Spiritual-Healer/dp/0140190341/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1198356005&sr=1-1 ), recounting the wisdom and extraordinary life of the mystic and healer Spyros Sathi - the eponymous 'magus'.

Given his earthy humour, as well as his seeming mastery over matter, Capricorn seemed a good fit as the dominant sign in Sathi's birthchart, though I doubt I'll ever know for sure. Meanwhile, my own ache to understand universal and spiritual principles had me eagerly devouring chapters, seated in the middle of aisle traffic quite happily, with the vague hope that I wasn't proving to be too much of an inconvenience registering somewhere at the back of my head.

Eventually, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and looked up to see my old teacher from secondary school amusedly peering down at me. Interestingly enough, he actually is a Capricorn and one of the most spiritual people I know. I have been learning from him since I was 12 years old, and since I moved back to Cyprus last year, I have spent much time with him - most recently in a Baha'i study group that he leads.

He had actually met the Magus, before the latter's death in the '90s, but had not been drawn to the metaphysical teaching Sathi offered beyond a certain point. My teacher, as a Baha'i, has always seemed more suited to the devotional path than the occult. Whereas I am torn between the two, trying to boost my knowledge/experience of both these days.

My teacher was picking out Christmas presents for his children and grandchildren - mostly books, since he has dedicated his life to education. As a child I had thought him the perfect parent, but realised as he delicately considered what reading material he should buy for his eldest child, that the very virtues that had always led me to admire him might have been a little rigorous or difficult to live up to - or live with - for some of his kids.

That's Capricorn for you. So often, in defiance of the bad Astro press they receive, Caps are surprisingly sensitive and savvy about others' feelings, despite the drive to find practical application to anything abstract, the reservation, the distrust of the emotional. There's far more subtlety to the Seagoat than we often are led to believe. The strict, exacting parent whose approval can be so hard to win transforms into the wise, playful teacher - or even spiritual master - if time and our own maturity allow us to change our perception.

Not that I even need to mention it, but Liz Greene says it all far, far better in her classic text, Saturn: A New Look at an Old Devil ( http://www.amazon.com/Saturn-New-Look-Old-Devil/dp/0877283060/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1198360126&sr=8-1 )