Ninth's Place

Lunar-Cy! Or how this Cypriot will be using the Pisces new moon energies...

2011-03-05T19:04:00.000+02:00

After a really rather long time, I thought I'd check in. We've entered the waxing part of the lunar cycle again with the new moon in Pisces today and I'm feeling feisty.

Not surprising really, Mars is in the sign of the fishes, on its way to conjoining my birth sun, and I have Pisces Seventh and Eighth houses. With the new moon in the zodiac's last sign, and falling in my Seventh, you can bet relationships will be highlighted and, hopefully, the public.

I've been operating under the radar for awhile now. Last year, for those patient readers who followed the intermittent ramblings of this blog, I put myself through some of the most intense self education I've experienced yet. Mostly on marketing and personal finance - I do have natal Mars and Mercury in the Aquarian Sixth after all - and transiting Saturn was conjoining natal Pluto in my Libra Second. To say I was feeling the pinch financially would have been somewhat of an understatement.

I am now, happy to report, gainfully and fully employed as a sub-editor at one of the local English language papers, and, while my most productive time of the day - the nights (I work the night shift) has been temporarily been consumed by my new duties - I am beginning to feel the stirrings of a new commitment to put all I learned last year (not least resilience and commitment to the goal of eventually being self-employed as an online entrepreneur) into practice.

All of which will eventually take the form of a brand new blog. I will still continue to post on this blog of course - and hopefully with a bit more frequency, too - but I am slowly gathering the research material for something rather different, in which I hope I can offer some insight into what I've learned so far.

Meanwhile, Jupiter is happily (?) moving through my Eighth and I fully expect some new entrepreneurial opportunities to come my way professionally. Especially when Uranus finally leaves Pisces for Aries in the spring.

Perhaps, this being the Eighth, it might mean some new insight into matters of the heart, too. But that's entirely another story and, since it's Eighth House matters, I'm not entirely at liberty to share.

Nevertheless, I invite you all to stay tuned. A quiet revolution is on its way ;)

The image above was originally posted here.

Transiting Saturn conjunct natal Pluto, or how I stopped worrying and learned to love the rack

2010-11-23T21:07:00.003+02:00

I think the image above is an appropriate one for the experience of transiting Saturn conjunct natal Pluto in the Second House.

It is the rigour arising when past foundations (Saturn, the body) meet with unrelenting, transforming force (Pluto).

In this case, my means of earning money, but also my self-worth - both Second House issues - are being warped-unto-breaking when combined with the Pluto principle - death and rebirth, (and perhaps hidden resources) - which lurks there natally.

The previous modes of income and their (admittedly scant) corollary - my self value - are being slowly put to death, and if I am wise, I will welcome and embrace this process, because what is dying is outmoded and toxic views of what it means to be valuable.

Not to mention, what counts - and what is possible - as a viable means of income.

Those of you who have followed the (intermittent) ramblings of this blog, will know that such issues are nothing new for me, but they have been brought (I hope) to their peak by the unrelenting intensity of this transit.

Throw in transiting Saturn opposing natal Venus (in the Eighth), squaring natal Saturn (in the Eleventh) and the near-exact Pluto square (Fifth to Second) and you have a failure-is-not-an-option scenario that requires a fair bit of stamina to withstand.

But it also adds a tremendous impetus to commit to a new course when it comes to money-making and a fresh perspective from which to view myself.

Which is to say, I'm being forced to consider: where does one draw their worth, if not from their accomplishments, their status, their revenue...?

While there are days when I long to simply find the off button, I know that I'm going to emerge far, far stronger and healthier from this process, and I am grateful for many things I had taken for granted at other, less-taxing times.

All is well, no matter what.

The images above were taken from this site and this site.

Exponentially yours, or notes on the Jupiter return

2010-08-19T12:16:00.000+03:00

The return of Jupiter to its natal position in a person's birth chart, every 12 years, is a year in which the Jovian theme of expansion tends to play a key role in proceedings.

Not surprising, given that Jupiter is known as the Greater Benefic and associated with all manner of happy turnarounds, fortuitous events and desirable outcomes, traditional astrology will encourage a fairly positive expectation of such times.

Generally speaking, that is.

But mostly, Jupiter's sojourn through any house is a good indicator of amplifying or magnifying whatever state of affairs reigns in that point in the chart, (especially if the house is tenanted by other planets), whether for good or ill.

If, for example - and sorry to rain on Jupe's PR parade - the king of the gods is transiting your seventh house of partnerships, and your marriage or relationship is in trouble, his passage is not necessarily going to coincide with reconciliation or a second honeymoon.

Of course, it could - but far more likely an eventuality is that the issues at the heart of the difficulties in the relationship are made keener, larger than life, magnified. In short, they become expanded.

But should this result in an eventual break-up or parting of the ways, Jupiter through the seventh will at least point to a less-bitter, or more-amicable split than it otherwise might have been (if, say Saturn or Pluto were touring the seventh).

Similarly, if you have Mars in Aries lurking in your second natally, and Jupiter comes to call, a year of increased (over-)expenditure is just as likely as a new and lucrative source of income.

A lot will depend also, of course, on the rest of the chart, in supporting or challenging whatever amplification Jupiter's transits are pointing to.

Now when Jupiter conjuncts his natal position in your chart, oh boy...

...your outlook or beliefs about the world - your inner set of personal laws - get super, super-sized, in a resounding crescendo of the energetic themes present at your birth.

Usually, the year allows for an expanded or broader vision of what our lives could be, and a new awareness of all the possibilities we haven't yet tapped.

And when you have Jupiter conjunct Sun, as I do, I do mean all the possibilities - all of them. At once. Simultaneously. Without mercy.

What the classical texts don't talk about as much is the exhaustion, or burn-out that often coincides with such years. Or indeed - even the latent depression at seeing where you could be... and how far from it you actually are.

Yes, there is usually some kind of excitement in realising that new adventures beckon on the horizon, and often a new sense of meaning to one's personal journey...

...but the Jupiter return can also be a time when it seems like you're being torn to pieces by possibilities, with no real ability to seize on or harness any of them.

Of course, the beginning of a new Jovian 12-year cycle is actually meant to sow seeds, or point us toward a new superhighway of life we may never have known, till then, existed.

But when you have Jupiter-Sun - in Pisces - the possibilities emerging during the J return are so huge... so otherworldly (especially with natal Neptune square Sun)... that it can be really miserable surveying all the terrain with seems physically impossible to cover in one lifetime. Or even 10.

The image above is taken from this site.

Affirmations for the new Moon in Leo, in the natal 12th House. Or how to move past total burn-out.

2010-08-10T18:38:00.000+03:00

New Moon in Leo today, which falls in my Leonine 12th House. How do I feel? Absolutely exhausted.

Normally, when the Sun is basking in the flamboyant sign it loves best, self-expression and creativity are favoured, as we press on into the fiery heart of the last month of summer.

And I'd have loved to have taken up creative pursuits again - in another life (so it seems), I played music, sang, wrote poetry, short stories, scripts, acted, danced, directed...

But having spent the past five months using every waking minute focusing on learning how to make money through the internet, my brain and personal stamina are flagging. I'm burned out.

It would make sense to take a break from all the finance-oriented stuff, the technical tutorials on 'how to set up this' or 'how to configure that' or 'where to download the other' and the endless ebooks that detail the myriad business plans to a viable money-making endeavour online.

It would make sense simply to surrender (12H) and renew my loyalty (Leo) to my longterm goal of being a working writer-director - a mover and shaker in the performing arts (Leo).

It would make sense to revisit my half-finished feature scripts, rewrite my short screenplays, review the plan for the kids' book I'd intended to write... or even just play my guitar and read for pleasure. Especially with Mercury about to retrograde on August 20.

But I can't.

As transiting Saturn grimly ploughs on through my Second House, inching towards conjoining my natal Pluto in October...

...thereafter to oppose my natal Venus and square my birth Saturn (while transiting Pluto moves closer to squaring its position at my birth)...

...the relentlessness (Pluto-Saturn) of the need to turn around my income and moneymaking ability (Second House) - and with it, transform (Pluto) my self-worth (Second House) by building a solid foundation (Saturn) for my finances - is endless.

And I have to honour that drive, no matter how much unease and anxiety it creates in me to put aside working on my true 'craft'.

So, on this new Moon in Leo:

I give thanks for the pride I will take in the creativity that waits to be tapped into, at the right time.

I give thanks for the professional accomplishments and kudos that hopefully are to come.

And I give thanks for the source of the storytelling that comes from beyond me, and which will flow through me once again... just as soon as I've dealt with these Second House issues of generating income.

(And self-worth).

The image above was taken from this site.

Venus-Chiron in the Eighth, or naked on love's threshing floor

2010-07-05T01:19:00.010+03:00

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh,

but not all of your laughter,

and weep, but not all of your tears.

~ From The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

The position of Venus in the natal chart, together with the aspects it makes to other celestial bodies, offer a snapshot of the native's relationship patterns, as well as insight into their self-love and self-worth.

Or lack thereof.

As Saturn prepares to move into Libra again later this month, relationships and how we tackle them are once more to be highlighted.

If we have been less than able to maintain healthy one-on-one boundaries in the past, or placed unrealistic expectations on significant others, if our personal ties have been power struggles, breeding grounds for resentment or generally a vale of tears, this transit of Saturn, which will last till October 2012, is a window of opportunity to revisit, shed or refine such patterns.

No less for myself, as I continue to be single, and weigh up the cost of ever being partnered again.

With my natal Sun in the Seventh House of partnerships, ties to a significant other are always of major importance. But I must confess that, a year on from my last break-up, there are definite benefits to being solo.

For one thing, there's a welcome lack of having to compromise on important personal interests and activities which the other may have little time (or respect) for. A blissful ease in not having to expend effort and take on the stress of defending positions - intellectual, spiritual or ideological - which clash with the 'beloved's' own.

Plus you never have to worry about your future in-laws, or feel bad that your sleeping patterns are a less-than-perfect match to your partner's. Or that they earn more/less than you do.

However.

As someone whose natal Venus is conjunct Chiron in the Eighth House, despite the pain (Chiron) associated with relationships, and the feeling always of having to earn, or be 'good enough' for love (Venus square Saturn) or the constant anxiety of being annihilated by the beloved's possible rejection (Venus-Chiron opposite Pluto), there is a certain raw quality of longing, that I wouldn't exchange for any amount of suffering.

Yes, in my case, there is an exaggerated romanticism involved (read about the mixed blessing of Venus trine Neptune here), but the transforming depths (Eighth House) of the longing to merge with the beloved, that passionate yearning for total union, the unrelenting need for love, albeit one that brings with it profound wounding (Chiron) - which ultimately brings the cool relief of wisdom - well... it's a dynamic that is ultimately very precious to me.

No one can pine for that union of souls or nurture a divine discontent like a Pisces Sun. Especially one whose Venus-Chiron lie in the mysterious Eighth.

A modified version of the image above was originally taken from this site.

Gemini South Node in the Tenth, or finding work as a stimulation junkie

2010-06-08T17:01:00.004+03:00

There are four basic challenges when it comes to finding appropriate, meaningful employment for me:

1. Any job needs to be flexible enough to satisfy the impatience of hyperactive, independent, techno-curious Mars and Mercury in my Sixth

2. It should be communication-based (and, ideally, have some creative, futuristic or humanitarian angle to it), given that both Mars and Mercury are in Aquarius

3. It must provide secure, steady income - 27 degrees of Taurus on the Midheaven

4. It has to involve plenty of mental stimulation, learning, research, novelty, diversity, etc, to appease that insatiable Gemini South Node in the Tenth

As a rule of thumb, many astrologers will advocate against indulging the cravings of the natal SN, or so-called Cauda Draconis, recommending instead that the North Node's attributes be cultivated and harnessed during a lifetime.

One might be forgiven for thinking, therefore, that one must simply turn one's back on and ignore one's SN. "Stand on your South Node, and look to your North," is the rallying cry.

However, there are several astrologers such as Elizabeth Spring, or the great Dane Rudhyar, who hold that the sign and house position of the South Node point to, respectively, "the gold in the South Node" or "the release of seed materials" (from the North Node).

I have to say, I prefer this approach, since it seems rather impossible to completely escape the insistent demands of the SN in our lives. Integrating its concerns with those of the NN seems by far the better modus operandi to live by.

Hence, I like to believe, eventually, that I will find a way of being a footloose sage, able to commit to and hold a noble, expansive vision of life, while being a conduit for 'wisdom' and caring little for worldly success, per my Sagittarius North Node in the Fourth.

And, one would imagine, given that I am a third quarter moon natally, this would be the way to go, rather than chasing success in a multitude of (communication-based) careers that require me to be a constant student, cursorily expanding my skills-base while trying to shine as a craftsman of words, images, thoughts.

Meanwhile, though, it really means the world to me to be able to generate career satisfaction (and cash) the South Node in Gemini way - with as much stimulation and variety and introduction to new experiences as (super)human-ly possible...

The image above was taken from this site.

Neptune (in Sag) in the Fourth, or forever planning the Great Escape

2010-05-03T17:52:00.080+03:00

There's a sad sort of ticking from the clock in the hall

And the bells from the steeple, too

And up from the nursery an absurd little bird

Is popping out to say, "Cuckoo"

"Cuckoo!"

"Cuckoo!"

Regretfully they tell us

-- but firmly they compel us

-- to say goodbye... to... you!

Everyone get the reference? That's from the Sound of Music, of course. The very first film I ever saw on the big screen - back when English-language films were still kind of a special occurrence in Cyprus - even though Cypriots have always liked their movies.

My Sagittarian, film-buff mother was the one who took me to see it. She insisted. It was of grave importance to be exposed to cinema at an early age. Indeed, to all the arts - some lesser or greater in the grand scheme of things.

Just as she was adamant that I be taken to the circus whenever a company was in town (even though she - and swiftly, I, too,) found such shows deathly dull.

But entertainment wasn't the point. What mattered was cultivating an appreciation for spectacle, self-expression and the celebration of creative freedom.

Such pursuits- and of course, travelling - were always a huge deal for my Archer mama.

And she it was again, who handed me T. S. Eliot's poem "The Wasteland", when I was about 13 or 14, saying she thought it would be good for me to read. And so it was, even though, having read it at that age, I had no real clue as to what it was actually about.

Nonetheless, I was sufficiently captivated by the strange collage of imagery, arcane symbolism and modernist erudition to write a graduate paper on "The Wasteland", many years later.

Come to think of it, it was probably the best paper I wrote during those particular studies, and one made possible by my built-in love for the poem, even before studying it. All because of my mother's recommendation.

Meanwhile, two years after I wrote that essay, I went on to study directing at film school, which finally allowed me to create and express myself in the context of a professional vocation. So you might say my mother set into motion an artistic reverberation that will probably continue till I die.

Which is odd, you see, because I have the Moon in sombre, responsible, ambitious, worldly Capricorn.

Herein lies the beauty of any natal blueprint. We are to expect paradox, contradiction, opposition, metaphor, foreshadowing, enigma... yet all the different elements of a birth chart can still be synthesised into an elegant, multi-layered whole.

(Well, with a bit of self-knowledge and effort, that is.)

My mother definitely is the Moon in Capricorn for me. She has always modelled prudent, strategic behaviour - vital, given the weight of the family responsibilities she has carried from her first Saturn Return till the present. We are a large family in which she is the eldest and - according to the Armenian/Mediterranean order of things - therefore consigned to attend to everyone else's needs. This despite her own desire for freedom and all-consuming hunger to see the world.

Yet for all the admirable Capricornian caution, hard work and prudentia, her instincts have always been to ride off towards the horizon, unshackled and free. Because of course, she is also that fiery Neptune in Sagittarius in my natal Fourth*.

I've only just realised this because lately I've had a huge spike in my (ever-free-floating) guilt at my current lack of familial - or even worldly - responsibility. Yet while prepping a client's chart for a reading, I stumbled across a keynote for Neptune in the Fourth house which spoke of an inherent compulsion 'to escape'.

And beyond the minor eureka of: "No wonder I always want to forgo being tied down to anyone or anything", there was the far more major illumination of: "My mother's harboured that desire, albeit in its repressed form, since I was born".

Now let me be clear. My mother is a very responsible human being. She really IS the Cappie Moon. And her British boarding school years have certainly inclined her to be pragmatic and practical about most things.

But what it has cost her to manage a variety of familial burdens has been mine to witness first-hand. And thus, from time to time, the sheer panic that one day my own freedom might be curtailed due to social and familial expectation, is absolutely overwhelming.

At such moments, I catch myself thinking: could I live with the guilt of running away and shirking every responsibility in the book? On the other hand: could I live with the suffocating frustration of being 'dutiful'?

This sort of introspection inevitably leads down the familiar spiral of guilt and fear. But I know enough about my own psychological development now (not to mention, my own astrological transits and progressions) to realise there are other factors at play in the collective which are ramping up my unease.

Not to mention, there are other signatures in my chart - Saturn trine Sun, Virgo ascendant, Mars and Mercury in the Sixth - that actually incline me toward taking charge in areas of service and duty.

Nonetheless, I do wonder, if the day should come that I am asked to put my own needs aside to serve the wider family, whether I will successfully subjugate my own desires per the Capricorn Moon, or gallop towards the sunset, shaking off social moraes and expectations as I go, accepting the responsibility of being true to myself and free.

Sagittarius Neptune in the Fourth would certainly know the answer to that...

* Classical astrology would have given that Neptune to my father (who, interestingly enough, is a Capricorn Sun with a whole lot of fire). But modern astrology is less willing to assign a fixed parental gender to the Fourth and Tenth Houses, and that's the approach I take.

The image above was taken from this site.

Chiron matters, or why the painkillers don't work

2010-04-03T23:51:00.000+03:00

And so it was that Ninth, on a tender spring night, sat musing on his natal Chiron in Aries.

The one mashed up against his birth Venus, also in Aries, the two of them trapped in the depths of the Eighth House. Opposite Libra Pluto in the Second.

Ninth reflected that the ache from his wound-that-did-not-heal had led to some surprising results, thus far.

Especially given the endless efforts since childhood to soothe it.

There had been a certain amount of wisdom gleaned from the study of various philosophies or cosmological systems, with which to address similar pains of others.

There had been a measure of cultivation of resilience and patience with regards woundings to identity, selfhood and intimacy.

There had been lessons learned from less-than-joyous encounters with significant others - an understanding of personal boundaries and an eventual acknowledgment of needful self-love, self-acceptance.

There had been a growing awareness that aggression and ego-driven competition would never be enough to dull the pain.

But mostly there had been the mounting realisation that this injury was not one whose scab would simply drop off when the time was right, leaving behind only the barest cicatrice.

No, it was a hurt that was there to stay, the better to prompt the native to learn to heal others; it was, in fact, never meant to be salved or relieved or made better.

And that simply had to suffice.

The image above was taken from this site.

Could Chile quake have caused the New Age 'Pole Shift'?

2010-03-03T01:35:00.001+02:00

Found this posted on Yahoo News just now:

Chile Earthquake May Have Shortened Days on Earth

The massive 8.8 earthquake that struck Chile may have changed the entire Earth's rotation and shortened the length of days on our planet, a NASA scientist said Monday.

The quake, the seventh strongest earthquake in recorded history, hit Chile Saturday and should have shortened the length of an Earth day by 1.26 milliseconds, according to research scientist Richard Gross at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, Calif.

"Perhaps more impressive is how much the quake shifted Earth's axis," NASA officials said in a Monday update.

The computer model used by Gross and his colleagues to determine the effects of the Chile earthquake effect also found that it should have moved Earth's figure axis by about 3 inches (8 cm or 27 milliarcseconds).

The Earth's figure axis is not the same as its north-south axis, which it spins around once every day at a speed of about 1,000 mph (1,604 kph).

The figure axis is the axis around which the Earth's mass is balanced. It is offset from the Earth's north-south axis by about 33 feet (10 meters).

Could this be read as the long-awaited 'pole shift' that some parts of the New Age community have been anticipating? Pre-cursor to what the doomsayers believe is 2012's Armageddon?

Personally, I think not. But you can read the rest of the post here.

And if you want more detail on the topic to put your minds at rest, go here.

The image above was taken from this site.

The world is not enough, or more on natal Pluto in the Second

2010-02-28T19:22:00.001+02:00

Watch out naysayers... I'm coming... I'm on my way... And I will not be stopped...

No adversary, obstacle or negative thinking will stand in my way.

I'm inexorable, I'm relentless and I move with the invincible, merciless confidence of fate.

Ahem.

I know it's a full moon today, but if you don't mind (and even if you do) this eve I'd rather talk about Pluto.

Specifically my natal Pluto in the second house of earned income, values and self-worth, whose energy just seems to be growing exponentially as Saturn in Libra grows ever closer to conjoining it, and I approach the dreaded Pluto square.

Not to mention the ongoing pressure-cooker of the transiting Saturn-Pluto square as well.

Hence, here be my new credo - because I've really slipped into Saturn-Pluto mode. Which means ruthless. And focused. And inclined to get-to-the-point:

I am through with making dribs and drabs of money.

I am through with the belief that I have no value in the world.

I am through with what the New Age community likes to call 'poverty consciousness'.

To quote the title of the 1999 James Bond film: the world is not enough. No, it sure ain't. That's how hungry to succeed I've become.

My birth Pluto has had it with being financially insecure. And when I say 'had it', I mean that literally. It's been humiliated, it's been frustrated, it's been suppressed and it... has... had... it.

So.

One of the goals I've set myself in 2010, with its powerful manifesting energies and the defiant roar of the Chinese zodiac's archetypal Tiger is to find a way to make money that:

is totally transparent and legal

plays to my strengths in innovation, creativity and ease in communication

allows me flexibility of environment and time

powerfully leverages the effort expended to create a decent income

Even though I come from a conservative, reticent-to-take risks country, in which there seems to be no honest avenue of employment open to a jack-of-all-trades oddball like me...

Even though the break-up with my ex triggered a huge crisis in self-esteem and more anguished searching to finally find a way to stand on my own two feet and prosper...

And even though it seems like my life has been a protracted comedy of errors and ill-advised adventures into industries and modes of living that have no 'clout' or 'status' in the eyes of my peers...

...I have always believed that eventually, somehow, I would find a way to make money on my own terms.

And I am convinced that, even as the world continues to struggle to shake off the effects of the global economic downturn, abundance belongs to all, because we live in an abundant universe that longs to lavish us with prosperity.

And I guess when you have natal Pluto in the second (and the moon in Capricorn), there is no other choice but to harness the relentless drive to succeed.

Succeed, as in: tap the abundance that is everyone's birth-right without harming or burdening anyone else.

Succeed, as in: create wealth that allows for dignity and quality of life.

Succeed, as in: actualise the gifts you were born with, to acquire freedom with security.

When I was younger, I was never bothered by the thought that my money-making prospects were slim to none, given the artistically-inclined, try-it-and-see path I had chosen. Money, itself, meant even less.

But the birth chart, the universe's elegant timepiece, ticking away till the natal energies are activated at the right moment, had always pointed to a lifetime in which, eventually, there would come a great hunger to amass wealth.

So with my natal Pluto opposing natal Venus in the eighth, with both squaring natal Saturn in the 11th, it was always, ultimately, going to lead up to making a crucial choice:

Was I going to be poor or was I going to be rich?

I choose to be rich. And I vow that as the doors of abundance open to me, I will do all in my power to help others - especially those traditionally consigned to 'struggle' - artists, healers, freelancers - to self-actualise in the same way.

Right now, I'm researching a business possibility that looks very viable, even though I'd have to use up most of my savings to kick-start it. Will I take the plunge? More and more, I feel in my heart that I probably will.

Rest assured, you will be the first to know if it turns out to be a successful venture. Downturn or not, if I can turn my finances around, I'm definitely going to give you the information to be able to do it for yourselves, too.

Meanwhile, as the Virgo full moon (which falls in my first house) opposes the Sun-Jupe conjunction in Pisces in my seventh - meticulous drive facing off with the creative potential of high-minded, idealistic partnership - I leave you with two posts on this lunation.

The first from the blog of Elsa Panizzon; the second from the blog of Lynn Hayes. Enjoy.

Sixth house in Aquarius, or hurry up and wait

2010-01-27T13:41:00.005+02:00

I'm not sure which of you out there are still reading. I keep disappearing, so I don't blame anyone if you think I'm the most erratic blogger on the planet :)

As I mentioned to Funkstar, who was kind enough to enquire after me (and nominate me for a Kreativ Blogger Award) given my absence - my life has been taken over by various mundane, yet time-consuming efforts to make changes.

Namely, hunting for and eventually investing in a second-hand car, dealing with the various mechanical and legal requirements arising from that transaction, dealing with a malfunctioning computer (my lifeline!), while preparing to move into a new apartment with a friend from work.

This is actually pretty stressful for me, I must say, though that is profoundly embarrassing to admit. Fact is, familiarity, ritual and routine are very important for me (Virgo rising, tenanted sixth), yet our culture sneers at such preferences in men.

We're all supposed to be adventurous he-men, swinging virile-ly like Tarzan from one tree-top to the next, always in control, always mastering any crisis, always hungry for new conquests or territory on which to leave our mark.

Well, that's not exactly me.

However, my real point (hence the title of this post) is that I have a naturally erratic rhythm, even though I endeavour to over-compensate by being overly organised.

I'm built to be constantly in motion and doing things, but that doesn't mean I'll do needful things in the order they're meant to be done, or even have consistent access to my 'doing'-ness.

I often need the adrenaline rush of last minute stringency to kick me into action. I'm so envious of the patient, step-by-step ability to plod and accomplish of, say, Taureans!

Of course, this causes my meticulous Virgo ascendant no end of frustration.

But even my Cappie Moon can only go so far in remedying the situation... I may have the calculating ambition of the sign (read about my dark side here), but this Moon is in the last degree of the Sea Goat, and practically in Aquarius, the air sign famous for its abrupt shifts, reversals and mysterious inertia.

Which brings me to my sixth house in Aquarius.

I have Mars and Mercury in that house, both in Aquarius, and Mars actually conjoins my Moon, both squared by Uranus, the modern ruler of Aquarius.

Western astrologers usually look to the sixth house to discover the state of a client's health (or lack thereof), his/her work colleagues, pets and generally the people they meet when going about their day - florists, grocers, tobacconists, dentists, cobblers and so forth.

But ultimately, this house is about how we 'operate' on the day-to-day level. Or, as Dana Gerhardt puts it, in her excellent series on the astrological houses over at Astrodienst:

"The 6th refers to daily time and how we spend it."

Most of the time, I am 'humming' with energy, which I expend either via the internet, furiously working out (when I can afford the gym) or zipping along sidewalks from task to task.There's a reason I walk a lot, despite having access to wheels!

Aquarius Mercury in the sixth needs constant connection with and to collective data - hence my enormous need to be online, and the several books, manuals, audio classes or podcasts I'll be reading or listening to at any given time.

Aquarius Mars in the sixth needs to get anything boring or mundane over in a flash. Preferably by taking a radical approach and/or missing out 'logical' steps in the process.

Put these two planets together and the actual timing of any of my actions is unpredictable, erratic. This is only amplified by that Mars-Uranus square.

I love to plan and construct ideal schedules or timetables in my mind, from the breakdown of a day, a week, a month all the way to my broader lifespan. But the timing is almost completely out of my control. And consistency isn't, to my chagrin, one of my fortes.

The tension of my 'holding back' until the adrenaline builds to the appropriate level, is enormous. Meanwhile, I'm constantly antsy, often anxious. I'm the guy who taps his foot inadvertently or needs to be twirling pens in his fingers while thinking.

Moving, moving, moving... but not always in motion. What I'm essentially doing is furiously treading water until the adrenaline kicks in and I can really 'swim' or commit to a direction.

Hence the stop-start nature of this blog :)

Interestingly enough, Gerhardt also mentions that Dane Rudhyar looked to the sixth house to see how we resolve crises. In which, case, the universe has me singled out for leaping into the saddle only when my pants are on fire.

Aquarius, like all air signs, likes to keep its options open and is loath to choose one thing over another. As a fixed sign, it also has its own inertia to overcome.

But boy, when it gets going, like a lightning flash it goes. And of course, inertia works the other way, too... once started, it just can't stop!

The image above was taken from this site.

For my Cypriot readers: A Venus-Neptune theatre recommendation

2009-11-24T23:55:00.007+02:00

This isn't really an astrology-heavy offering, other than to mention that my Venus-Neptune trine was merrily zinging tonight because...

(... and this is the point of this post...)

... this evening I saw a wonderful, original Greek-language work by the extremely talented director Magdalena Zira, entitled Metamorphosis: a seven-actor ensemble piece created by Zira's original translation of Ovid's eponymous poetry, and performed at the Cyprus Theatre Organisation's (CTO's) Experimental Stage in Agios Andreas, Nicosia.

Usually I whinge and complain about the dearth of quality theatre in Cyprus, but this evening, my passion for the performing arts was well-sated. Indeed, I was very proud that the show was having its world premier in my home-town.

The set-design was beautiful, the ivory costumes stylised and striking, the young cast lithe and confident - having obviously benefitted from many hours of rehearsal under a sure directorial hand.

As for the material, the tales enacted are stories of transformation as the title suggests.

Yet what I found fascinating and timeless about the unifying theme was not so much the physical metamorphoses imaginatively brought to life by Zira and her team (here kudos also to the lighting designer and composer of the original score), but actually the protean, ever-in-flux and ultimately - often tragically - unstable nature of love itself.

Naturally, such instability exploited to the max by the capricious deities of the Greek pantheon who grace the stage much of the time.

Hence, if you enjoy theatre and have ever been provoked, moved or even simply entertained by classical Greek mythology, you are in for an utter treat.

I would have loved to have posted a link to rehearsal stills, but was mysteriously unable to find any (bar one tiny one) on CTO's website.

So, instead, I settled for a cropped version of John Williams Waterhouse's Echo and Narcissus which you can see above, at the start of this post.

(Having said that, I almost went for the more famous painting by Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio, which, if you're curious, can be found here.)

I repeat once again: for theatre-buff Nicosians and Cypriot readers in general... this show is not to be missed. As good as almost any (actually better) as I've seen Off-Broadway in dear old New York City.

More information about Metamorphosis' performance times and dates, (in Greek only) may be found here.

The image above was taken from this site.

Saturn square Pluto: Manifestation, spoon-bending and the manipulation (and destruction) of forms

2009-11-20T00:59:00.003+02:00

I have Saturn square Pluto natally, which, according to the first astrology teacher I had, was also a planetary picture that featured in Carl Jung's birth chart, and is considered to be a shamanic configuration.

Now, I have, to date, no known natural aptitude for shamanic work. I don't spontaneously find myself transported into spirit worlds or have the ability to shape-shift or talk to plants or animals or retrieve pieces of someone's soul.

However, I am absolutely obsessed with the idea that it is possible to manipulate and reconfigure (Pluto) matter (Saturn) and step outside of time (Saturn again).

Especially with cosmic demolition ball Pluto in the sign of structure, foundation and boundaries - Capricorn.

And I do wonder whether the long-term transiting Saturn (in Libra) Pluto (in Capricorn) square will whip up to a new frenzy the blooming-like-algae 'mind over matter'/'law of attraction'/'manifest whatever you desire' communities on the internet.

Frankly, these days it seems every entrepreneurial/home business/self-employment page on the web works in references to bestseller The Secret or the wildly popular Abraham-Hicks material, both preaching the gospel of manifesting your heart's desires.

Not to mention, the proliferation of e-books, Youtube clips, audio classes, webinars, workshops and so forth claiming to develop your hitherto latent paranormal powers, such as psychokinesis and telepathy.

Now, I say 'claiming' not because I believe it isn't possible to manipulate matter - far from it - but because it is, till now, still to a large degree scientifically indefensible - or at the least, an area being investigated only at the peripheries of science, in the domain of quantum physics.

Personally, though, I believe the present transiting Saturn-Pluto square - particularly as it is the waning and, therefore, closing square of this cycle - will mark a significant breakthrough in establishing the malleability of form via thought in mainstream consciousness once and for all.

Let me leave you with an amateur clip on spoon-bending - a feat I believe is genuinely possible and which I hope to accomplish with enough practice myself one day. Enjoy.

The image above was taken from this site.

Debunking 2012 hysteria, courtesy of The New York Times

2009-11-18T00:29:00.002+02:00

Seems the counter-reaction to the veritable tsunami of 2012 doomsaying now extends to the The New York Times, too. Click here for the latest. Oh, and... enjoy. :D

The image above was taken from this site.

Light side of the Ninth: An astrological perspective

2009-11-17T12:42:00.007+02:00

Well, here's part two for those who missed the first bit. The lighter or 'good' side of me.

It's funny, but I think I've actually been putting off writing this post. Had no problem going on about my evil-ness, but my good side is... I dunno, a bit embarrassing to speak of.

Still, better get on with it, for the sake of balance - something that might even bring a smile to sourpuss Saturn, currently in dignified Libra.

Firstly, I guess, there's that Sun-Jupiter conjunction in Pisces. It's a wide conjunction, but whenever I've had readings, the astrologer has considered me a Sol-Jupe kinda fella, and I think it fits well.

Essentially, I'm expansive when it comes to both beliefs and the magnanimity of the universe, and also in terms of my own desire to love all. (Do I succeed? Meh. It's varied, but the impetus is there).

In terms of being intoxicated with the broadest of idealistic horizons and a spiritual, all-encompassing love, I'm there.

And I have a big heart. On my good days. On the less good days, I feel as if I've swallowed the ocean and am totally lost in the supernova of spirit. To thoroughly mix my simile-metaphors.

Then there's that Venus-Neptune trine in fire (respectively Aries and Sagittarius). Can we say romantic? We can. Hopelessly, utterly, fatally romantic. If you want more of an elaboration, you can find it here in an earlier post.

Which basically means I adore beauty in all its forms - music, sculpture, poetry, painting, architecture, the human figure, all of the performing arts etc. - as long as it is inspiring (fire).

And I believe my exes, whatever else they may think of me now (and I'm grateful to say, these ladies are still friends) would attest to my love of the romantic gesture.

In short, I'm not the kind of guy who'll forget your birthday or neglect any of the niceties of courtship, tenderness and long-term devotion.

Also I have deep-rooted yen for courtesy and fairness.

Meanwhile, lurking in my sixth house are both Mars and Mercury in maverick Aquarius. Hence, I am both left-brained and right-brained: I've been cultivating an integration between the skills of the cerebral hemispheres for a long time now, and I believe I'm making progress.

So-called 'paranormal' abilities and energy healing are a few of my passions.

I'm the kind of person who'll entertain the zaniest (read: provocative) ideas, which sound, on the face of it, rather crazy. But I tend to be good at articulating the (il)logic behind 'em. And with Mercury in the sign of the humanitarian rebel, public speaking at any time, before any scale of audience, with or without prep, is like breathing to me.

As are writing, and speedily learning and integrating the latest spiritual, healing and technological advances. And I'm good with my hands, too (Mercury in the sixth).

Meanwhile, Virgo-rising, for all its anal nitpicking (that sounds rather unfortunate, but you catch my drift), makes me a fairly adept problem-solver. And good at sorting through the details.

Most of the time I even succeed in over-compensating for that lack of patience, too (Aquarius Mars in the sixth, square Scorpio Uranus in the third), by logically and methodically tackling needful (if boring) tasks.

Did I mention I like to be active all the time? Well, I do. I respect and take care of my health (though I wish I were more disciplined about cooking for myself) and to me that means fitness is key. I need to be in motion and tend to thrive if I can exercise intensely almost every day.

Hence, I'm a good person to have around if you need sustained, ignoring-the-pain-and-doing-it-anyway sort of energy. As long as there's a clear goal and the process isn't too mind-numbingly boring. I have a low boredom threshold.

Which also means I enjoy hard work (Aquarius Mars and Mercury in the sixth - as well as Capricorn Moon by its proximity to the sixth house cusp). In fact, I have workaholic tendencies. I sleep very poorly if I feel I'm not working hard enough. Though I am trying to break the pattern of deriving self-worth from the level of work I accomplish.

If you are my friend or a family member/loved one, I will be loyal and steadfast (Saturn in the 11th, Cappie Moon, Saturn square Venus) and take my responsibilities to you very seriously. I will strive always to do the right thing by you. Most of the time I will put your needs (and those of others generally) ahead of mine.

Again, with the current Saturn-Pluto square from my respective second to fifth houses, I am trying to find the balance between caring for my needs as well as others' in my significant personal and professional relationships.

And I'm creative (Moon in the fifth, Venus trine Neptune, Neptune square Sun, quintiles between Sun and MC, Mars and Venus) and, dare I say it, charismatic (Pluto opposition Venus, Uranus sextile Ascendant).

Acting, dancing, drawing, writing, directing, playing instruments come fairly easily to me.

To end on a Sun-Jupiter accent: I would describe myself as a servant king (Leo 12H, Virgo-rising), endowed with a rigorous creative, spiritual, intellectual and humanitarian drive, to put at the service of the collective.

And I strive to do just that, every day.

The image above was taken from this site.

Dark side of the Ninth: An astrological perspective

2009-11-14T21:26:00.003+02:00

So. I promised you my dark side and I'm about to keep that promise.

Be warned, if you've enjoyed this blog thus far and built up an agreeable persona to go with it, you may rather dislike what follows. If so, I invite you to skip this post.

Alternatively you may decide to plunge ahead, after which you might shrug and say, "No big deal". Depends on what you consider 'dark' I guess.

Either way, to balance things out, I promise to cover my not-so-dark side in the subsequent post. Okay?

So, here we go:

Firstly, there's that terrible, terrible temper due to my Moon-Mars. To be precise, an out of sign conjunction with the Moon in Capricorn and Mars in Aquarius.

That Moon-Mars is squared by Uranus in Scorpio, and trine Lord of the Dead Pluto. What that amounts to is incredible volatility and touchiness and taking-offense-iveness, while keeping it all inside, super-human-ly under wraps until... someone pushes me just that little bit too much and...

.... KA-BOOOOOM !!!....

Not pretty. Not at all.

Then there's that Cappie moon. Can we say uber-ambitious? We can.

Super-ambitious, super-competitive, super-calculating, super-prestige-and-status-loving. Conjunct Mars, this driven Moon is never satisfied with my paltry mundane accomplishments.

It will only shut up if I earn some worldly distinction, or, better yet, build something that garners respect(ability) in society and outlives me. A visible legacy in other words.

And it's very jealous of threats to anything it considers its own: people, accomplishments, specialist knowledge; all professional or romantic 'assets' or advantages are always under heavy scrutiny, surveillance and security. It does not like to share.

Moon in Cap is also pessimistic as hell, and cautious to boot. No risk-taking here (though that Mars-Uranus square is dying for it). Only the bleakest views of the future are plausible or worth entertaining. And the sky's STILL going to fall on my head, dammit, no matter how well I prepare for disaster.

This same Moon, together with Saturn in Cancer make for a timorous combination. For all the fire-breathing tendencies on the one hand, on the other, there's a pathetic 'poor me' complex, with a generous lashing of victimhood, paranoia and infantile, don't-make-me-grow-up-ness.

Emotions with this Moon and this Saturn are a big no-no. If you're close to me and want to have a huge emotional meltdown in my presence, you will swiftly discover I've checked out. I hate drama (including my own). I hate those messy, messy "what are you feeling?" conversations.

Also, this Saturn remembers wounds and betrayals forever, whether I've forgiven the culpable party (which is often myself) or not.

Now I think about it, it's not much good at forgiving either. Lose my trust or betray me, and I'll either simply disappear from your life, or you'll be talking to a cold, polite cipher from here on out.

Further, this Saturn is squared by Pluto and also by Venus. Saturn-Pluto makes me absolutely ruthless at times. Saturn-Venus makes me a kill-joy partypooper at others. I'm not proud of it, but I don't really suffer excesses, indulgences, inadequacies, weaknesses, defeats or setbacks very well. First and foremost in myself.

At times when I've felt threatened or overwhelmed by adversaries or my back's been against the wall, that Saturn-Pluto has turned me into something of a Genghis Khan in terms of the sheer desire to annihilate threats and enemies.

When I'm that desperate, I'll charge an elephant, a bus, or a whole g-ddamn platoon. I'm actually really scared of the impetus toward violence that lies coiled within me, awakened at times of incredible duress. Violence and revenge. In my moments of true despair, I thirst for revenge on those who've hurt my heart. People I've loved who've seen fit to push me away.

More darkness?

Well, Pluto opposes my Venus-Chiron, so no matter how much I've battled against it, thus far my closest relationships have been fraught with power struggles. And I hate it. I hate the terror of rejection turning into covert or open attempts to control the very people I love.

To be fair, there's been a goodly amount of suffering on my part by loved ones controlling me - but this is just a mirror of my own repressed possessiveness, aggression and fear.

Finally, if there were ever a Pisces Sun-Jupiter with a Saviour/Chosen One complex, it is I, with this inclination amplified by an even more self-deluding Neptune squaring my Sun from the fourth house.

To whit, I have struggled with spiritual self-righteousness and pomposity all my life, not to mention the effortless ability to harshly judge others (and myself), courtesy of my Virgo-rising.

That's pretty much everything I can think of - or at least the highlights of the grand labyrinth that is my inner darkness. Not a lot to recommend itself so far, eh?

I understand.

But if you haven't decided I'm the devil incarnate and are willing to return for my next post, I promise you there's another, less off-putting side of the Ninth, too. Stay tuned.

[UPDATE: the follow-up, companion post is here.]

The image above was taken from this site.

The Astrology of 2012: The End of Days … or a Cosmic Call to Action?

2009-11-14T20:01:00.000+02:00

Another salvo against the doomsdayers' version of 2012 - here's a great post from powerhouse astrologer Rick Levine.

Read and enjoy:

The Astrology of 2012: The End of Days … or a Cosmic Call to Action?

Reclaiming natal Saturn in Cancer

2009-11-12T20:08:00.000+02:00

When I first began to study astrology, I was not exactly thrilled to discover that Saturn in my chart was in its detriment, in Cancer.

In fact, not only is Saturn - in my 11th house - in its detriment, but it forms the 'handle' of a bucket chart, through which all the other energies represented must find expression.

At times, it's been a 'sore tooth' indeed.

Security-needing, anxious and overly-sensitive 11H Saturn in Cancer is the reminder of my early years in the shadow of a divorce and changes of residence; a symbol of the weakened position of my biological father in my life; a pointer to the deep unease and fear of social rejection due to 'not fitting in' at school or obeying the norms of career and life-path in the conservative country of my birth.

It is also a reminder of the weakened state of my birthplace - since Cyprus was invaded by Turkey in 1974, and is still, to this day, divided.

This particular Saturn also forms the 'leg' of a cardinal T-square, meaning in this case it is squared by Pluto in Libra and Venus in Aries, magnifying the levels of social unease, self-consciousness, anxiety and insecurity, and cranking up the need to control and protect myself whether in a group or one-to-one interactions.

Saturn is additionally retrograde, which, as the astrologer Lynn Hayes often points out, amplifies and internalizes the taskmaster voice of harsh self-criticism.

However.

I am now at a point where I acknowledge fear and insecurity to be truly a waste of my energy, as is the perception that this Saturn is irredeemable.

Hence, I have been trying to reclaim the so-called 'greater malefic's' power in a positive way, as part of a broader personal project of truly embracing, accepting and, dare I say it, loving, who I am. Flaws and all.

Among the things I've discovered during the process, is that this Saturn takes its family responsibilities very seriously.

This Saturn wants to be a wise and dedicated father - a strong, devoted head of a family, able to provide the resources for his dependents to thrive. Never belittling them, but rather guiding, supporting, protecting, cherishing and serving them.

Further, this Saturn wants to lead; to be an architect of an enlightened community; a clan-builder operating beyond the dictates of mere blood or national ties.

If this Saturn takes itself very seriously, it is because it is preparing for a time in which service to society will require laying down sure foundations, based on an expanded familial model, and free of the over-sentimentality and guilt that familiar loyalties can create.

Therefore, in the days to come, I want to take an unflinching look at myself, my core roots and identity, both the good and the bad, without repressing any associated feelings.

More than anything, I want to identify the defenses I assembled when I was little and slowly dismantle them. The current square to Capricorn Pluto can only be a boon to this process.

My next post will be all about the dark side of the Ninth. Stay tuned.

******

For those new to astrology, a good analysis of the meaning of Saturn in Cancer can be found in Jeff Jawer's excellent essay here.

The image above of Saturn Devouring One of His Sons by Goya was taken from this site.

Metaphysical makeovers & multiple healing modalities, aka Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron in Aquarius redux

2009-11-11T14:19:00.001+02:00

Remember the three spiritual heavyweights that have been spending quality time together this year?

I mean Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron in Aquarius, the planetary combo other than the Saturn-Uranus opposition and Saturn-Pluto square that have been in the astrological headlines in 2009.

'member them?

Well, they're still hanging out in my sixth house. And as a Virgo rising, Mercury and Mars in Aquarius kind of fella, I've been undergoing something of a metaphysical makeover this year. Not to mention, an initiation into multiple healing modalities I hadn't hitherto encountered.

I've been experimenting with a variety of meditation techniques, as well as affirmations, mental/energetic reprogramming, new systems of illumination and also journalling my hopes and aspirations in an invitation to the universe to dance with me, with who I am.

I've also had some needful (to me) surgery back in February, trusting that the merry trio in my house of work and health would bring the necessary recuperative powers to my body. They certainly have, praise God.

Looking back now, on this November 11:11 energetic gate, if I compare my present to where I was at the beginning of this difficult and fairly painful year, it's like I'm living another lifetime, a different incarnation.

And with almost completely different people as my confidantes and friends.

During this process, I have made very little money and progress in my professional career. And I have lost what was dearest to me: the girl I thought was going to be my wife and life companion. Not least because my 'otherworldly' interests and concerns could never be shared by her. And certainly the combo of spiritually-inclined filmmaker was never going to amount to the good provider that she, sincerely and honestly, deserves.

However, I am choosing to look upon this Jupe-Neppy-Chiron progress through my sixth as a shamanic dismemberment of sorts. Presumably the universe will eventually put me back together. I sense it's already been doing so, though I guess time will make it easier to gauge by how much.

Incidentally, if you want to read a really good post on the process of 'splitting apart' from the Human Design point of view, you can find it on the blog of Kim Gould, a very talented HD practitioner.

But to go back to how I began this post:

Jupiter, Neptune and Chiron in unemotional but visionary Aquarius have certainly made it impossible not to heal, expand my faith and horizons and make more peace with my path this year.

For this I am very grateful, and whenever my heart fills with sorrow, I'm trying to open it anyway. I don't always succeed, but I know for sure my life is beautiful and the universe benevolent, wise and ultimately joyous. It's been a rich year.

The image above was taken from this site.

Saturn in Libra: Courtesy, or else...

2009-11-10T19:14:00.012+02:00

Is it me? Or is the gentle art of bullying getting a lot of (negative) press lately?

Why, yes. Yes it is.

Unsurprising, giving Saturn's ingress into the genteel and harmony-lovin' sign of the Scales.

This morning, while I was joyously perusing a promising-sounding job ad in the pages of the very newspaper I currently proofread for, my eyes fell on a syndicated article from the London Evening Standard, titled: "Does your office have bad manners?"

The choicest paragraphs include the following:

Pearson and Porath began their research looking at incidents of employees killing their colleagues. From this extreme, they worked back to examine every kind of workplace slight to understand why some forms of incivility are taken seriously, such as sexual harassment, while others are not.

Common examples of incivility, they found, included taking credit for other people's work, passing blame, checking emails during meetings, talking down to or not listening to others, making derogatory remarks and avoiding people.

What may seem trivial examples of bad office manners, they found, had a serious effect on morale and staff retention. Serious enough to get the attention of the companies with whom they shared their findings.

Before becoming an academic, Porath worked for a sports management and marketing company and had observed first-hand how people were affected by the constant belittlements, insults and verbal digs that were considered part of the firm's culture. Her research confirmed her fears.

After a single incident of incivility, not including anything sexual or physical, 48 per cent of the hundreds surveyed decreased their effort at work, 38 per cent intentionally decreased the quality of their work, 80 per cent wasted time worrying about the incident, 66 per cent said their performance declined and 78 per cent said their commitment to the firm declined.

Twelve per cent said they had left a company because of uncivil treatment. For firms already struggling with motivating and retaining staff, the figures were staggering. Behaviour which was regarded as everyday was actually deeply damaging.

“A lot of people don't realise what they're doing at the time,” says Porath. “And as people move up in an organisation, they are treated less and less honestly by their staff, so they have no idea how bad they are.”

You'd think this kind of observation would not warrant a formal study. And yet. The ingress of Saturn into a sign seems, invariably, to bring to light that which has always been obvious, but barely observed.

Rude people suck. They are uncool. They hurt others.

Those who know me well, know one of my pet hates - and I do mean HATES - is incivility.

Politeness, courtesy, graciousness... in a word, CIVILITY, costs absolutely nothing. Yet with the frequency with which it's so often tossed to the side, you'd think it was the rarest, most ridiculously dear and arduous skill to acquire or cultivate.

Personally, my money's on Saturn in Libra making it very, very important to practice social graces, including gentility, over the next two-and-a-half years.

Or else.

Especially with that long-term square to ambitious Pluto in Capricorn. Want to harm your chances of getting ahead? Then continue to be an uncouth, ill-mannered boor.

The choice is yours.

The image above was taken from this site.

What's a ninth guy like you doing...?

2009-11-09T18:06:00.005+02:00

Greetings all.

I've been gone from this blog a long time. A long time. And for those who were interested readers, I apologise both for the hiatus and for disappointing you in terms of keeping up. Much has happened in the interim, and this is an attempt to zippily catch you up on what's going on in my life right now.

For one thing, I survived June, July and August 2009 in Cyprus.

While I love the intensity of the heat of summer on this island - it's pretty trippy walking down the street most times, it's THAT hot - I find the quiet, slow pace of life and the dearth of people (Nicosia, the capital where I live, becomes a ghost town in summer) very difficult to manage at times.

I suppose this is mostly because the intense heat, sluggish pace of life and reduced human contact turn me inward, when my natural inclination is to be on the go all the time and avoid those dark places in my mind, heart, soul.

However, the summer, for this very reason, is an optimal time for me to strip everything down to its bare bones, eat lightly and do lots of exercise and meditation. Which is precisely what I did.

The pain at my failed relationship is still with me. I've had spells when I haven't thought of the ex at all. Other times - such as this past October, when I returned to Cyprus after attending a short film festival in Tangier - I was overwhelmed with how much I missed her. Not to mention, last Friday, the ex before the current ex had her first baby. You'd have thought that her having been married for four years would have been enough for me to have moved on, but I guess some ties are very hard to sever.

Anyhoo, when I haven't been working on moving on from the detritus of my former romantic life, I have been learning and practising new spiritual techniques and forms of meditation, writing a screenplay for a new short and accepting clients for astrological readings.

Suffice it to say, I'm going to be posting much more regularly, recommitting to and re-investing in this blog, because I have a need to write and express myself very badly. I have a need to make contact with people and to unburden my mind and heart.

Consequently, there may be less polish, but I hope you'll bear with me, since writing to me has become much more important than cranking out the perfect post.

Oh yes, and in the meantime, I've stumbled on a new system of illumination - Human Design - which I think is amazing. You can google it for more information, but I'll be posting on that, as well as about my ongoing adventures in art, metaphysics and day-to-day human-ness (hopefully in the spirit of humane-ness, too).

On a completely unrelated note, how are we enjoying the transiting Saturn-Pluto square so far?

Saturn's currently in my second house (where natal Pluto in Libra lurks) and Pluto's in my Capricorn fifth. Selfworth-boosting income (Saturn in the second) that I can then focusedly plug into my filmmaking (Pluto in the fifth) is definitely proving a toughie to pull. Even more challenging with this particular transit, is moving beyond the fear/angst in trying to earn a decent income before daring to think about romance again.

So there you have it for the time being. More to come soon!

Scorpio and Capricorn, or tougher-than-tough love

2009-06-23T18:40:00.011+03:00

Sorry to have been MIA for ages dear readers; when I haven't been doing the night proofreading shift at the local English language daily, I've been giving most of my attention to working on my screenplay, meditating and a whole lot of self-reflection.

Above all, during this period, I have been musing on what exactly it is in me which always seems to attract the 'tough love' teachers. And why they are so often Scorpios or Capricorns. Or have so many planets/personal points in both signs.

Sort of like the relentless drill-sergeant Louis Gossett Jr. plays in An Officer and a Gentleman.

Take my father for instance. He's a Capricorn Sun, with (according to his mother's hazy memory of his birth-time) Scorpio on the Ascendant. That would fit him very well. Because he is not only my self-appointed timekeeper (Capricorn) - "We're not young forever; if I were you, I would stop wasting time and..." but is also given to dragging me into the underworld (Scorpio) at steady intervals, or probing deep into my soul (whether I invite him to, or not - most often not).

Meanwhile, my mother has Pluto in Leo conjunct her Ascendant, so that makes her rather Scorpio-like in her intense probing, too.

My old English Literature and Drama teacher, who has been a very important mentor in many ways, is a Capricorn; my ex-girlfriend, despite being a Libra, has Pluto conjunct her Sun, as well as the Moon, Mars, Mercury and Uranus all in Scorpio.

Then there's my current astrology teacher who has a very strong Saturn and a Scorpio Moon.

The list goes on and on and on.

Boy have I learned a lot from all of them, and continue to do so. Can't say I've always enjoyed the experience, but on the soul level I believe I have attracted them to me for a purpose. And, frankly, none of this is surprising given my own Capricorn Moon and Venus-Pluto-Saturn T-square. Or my natal Uranus in Scorpio sextile my Ascendant

In the fires of these intimates' intensity and in the boundaries they've forced me to honour - either in them or in me - I've slowly been (and continue to be) tested and refined, no matter how unpleasant it can at times be, for my higher good.

Then again, my musings could just be prompted by Pluto in Capricorn inching towards a square to my natal Pluto in Libra - which, taking into account my natal T-Square of Pluto-Venus-Saturn, is going to add up to a doozy of a Grand Cross - while transiting Saturn is on a collision course with Natal Pluto in my Second House. To say nothing of the pesky ongoing Neptune-Chiron-Jupiter dance, too.

Tough love, baby. The universe is really giving it to me aplenty.

By the time I head into my Uranus opposition, I'm going to be harder than steel and wiser than serpents, that's fer sure.

The above image was taken from this site.

Drumming away depression on the djembe

2009-06-10T23:32:00.008+03:00

The moment I heard the thunder of that relentless, ecstatic rhythm it was obvious to me: drumming is like some God-given alchemy to release and transform the heaviest of energies.

To explain: this evening I went to a free djembe drumming concert held in the courtyard of Nicosia's Goethe Institut.

On a balmy Mediterranean night, with burning torches and gratis red vino, there were definitely worse places to be, let me tell you - but it was a total fluke. The only reason I was there was because an acquaintance had sent me a text message about it.

Actually, I can honestly say that I'm incredibly grateful for having gone; I felt happy for the first time in ages. The last week in particular has been steeped in sorrow and mourning for me for what was recently lost. Indeed, depression has been hovering rather too close for my comfort.

But gosh, hearing those drums - being stirred by that wall of joyous, pulsing sound - it was like being uplifted and relieved of burdens.

Small wonder such rhythms can be therapeutic. Even less of a surprise that such drumming is often the shaman's means to travel into an ecstatic state.

So, more drumming please, less depression. And if you're interested in learning more about djembe drumming's benefits, you can satisfy your curiosity here.

The image above was taken from this site.

How the life force sometimes returns

2009-06-04T02:17:00.007+03:00

Really, we're designed to survive. No matter how tough it gets, no matter how much we trip ourselves up or try to self-destruct, at our core, we're actually pretty darn tough.

The renowned astrologer Noel Tyl said it far better when he mused on the following:

"There’s an adaptability about human beings that is designed by Nature to help us cope, to help us heal. Intrinsic mechanisms are built into our mood systems to help us accommodate difficulty.

"These coping mechanisms see to work against any of our contrived efforts to enhance our moods permanently. In other words, drugs, alcohol, rationalizations, pathological lying, profligate spending, as mood savers, cannot endure for long; more and more of whatever it is is needed, and addiction ensues.

"It is our nature to get used to what is difficult in our lives."

You can read the rest of his insightful essay here.

Despite weathering some of the worst bouts of self-loathing and self-doubt I've experienced so far, it seems moments of serenity and contentment do return - indeed, might well be hiding just around the corner.

For me, though, it's not just time that makes the difference as Noel suggests. Rather it is being meaningfully active.

No new ground broken here, but my Moon in Capricorn (under five degrees from my Sixth house cusp), my Virgo Ascendant, and my Aquarius Mars and Mercury (also in the Sixth) REALLY need to be busy - preferably working my a** off.

Fortunately for me, this evening was just such a night, wherein almost nine hours disappeared while I practised laying out articles using the InDesign publishing software for the newspaper at which I often proofread. The idea is I get trained up while working unpaid, in the hopes that I'll be in shape to cover sub-editor shifts whenever the latter are on holiday.

Well here's hoping, anyway.

Whether or not they hire me though, it felt so good walking home this evening after putting the paper to bed. Really, all I need is to keep ultra-busy if at all possible, and all will be fine.

Too bad Neptune and Chiron (and soon Jupiter) just turned retrograde in my Sixth.

The image above was taken from this site.

Abundance revisited, or Chiron-Jupiter-Neptune is like salt in the cosmic wound...

2009-06-01T23:35:00.010+03:00

Haven't experienced this much pain in a long, long time. It's like tearing open a wound that had just scabbed and then pouring the contents of the salt cellar on it.

Holy crap! Lately it's been like bashing my head against one wall, only to find a new surface to practise spontaneous cranial omelette-making. All the old anxiety and self-loathing at not being 'normal' and not making money have just erupted like a particularly vicious flare-up of eczema or psoriasis.

I've been going round and round and round in circles, trying to do something about the no job-living at home situation. So far, there have been a few opps which I may or may not go for. But all almost guaranteed to send me around the bend with frustration. I kid you not. Uranus in Scorpio in the Third House, squaring Mars in Aquarius in the Sixth points to the independence-lovin', answer-to-none kind of 'employee' I am. Ha. What I am is a freelancer in denial!

But just so happens that this evening I realised that I'd been visualising abundance and money pouring in, when... I was actually in fairly good shape: debt free, still some savings left and, whatever else it may do for my self esteem, rent-free living at the parental units.

**Aries/Sagittarius/Capricorn/Scorpio/Tauruses are free to leave in disgust now**

So, I decided this evening to stop worrying about getting a 'real' job and moving out of the apartment. I realise that's not actually my first priority right now. Making use of the three summer months for completing the first draft of my feature-length screenplay and writing the kids' book I have in mind, are. That's what I'm going to give my focus and attention to.

Let whoever wishes to judge me for this lifestyle, do so. I try to judge noone (though I'm bad at not judging myself - Saturn separately squaring Venus and Pluto). Right now I'm in the position most artists dream of, so I'm going to hunker down and create.

Also, simplicity is the name of the game right now. Anything that is taking away from my focus has to be eliminated.

By the end of the summer, with my two projects completed, I'll make a dedoubled push for job and apartment-hunting. (Though hey, if the universe wants to send me some kind of paying opportunity that's related to writing/film/healing, bring it on).

The image above is from this site.

Do You Believe in Fairies? (Or a Meditation on Puer Aeternus/Puella Aeterna)

2009-05-20T12:37:00.007+03:00

This is a post in honour of the Sun entering Gemini later today, and the puer aeternus/puella aeterna (eternal child) which this lovely sign is an archetype of.

So, here's the thing: do you believe in fairies? I mean fairies as in faerie folk, not the gentlemen who appreciate other gentlemen.

I think I've always believed in them. The former, I mean (nothing against the latter either of course).

Even as a supposedly sober, left-brained, rational, put-away-childish-things adult wannabe, in my heart of hearts, I always thought the world was magic, with magical denizens of every kind.

*** WARNING: overly Saturnian folks, you may wish to skip the rest of this post altogether ***

Which includes us, by the way. I believe humans have their own magic.

Actually, from parsing various occult books, it seems magic is no more nor less than harnessing one's will toward manifestation. But that seems far less fun a way of thinking about it.

I guess the cool bit about magic (and fairies etc.) is not putting together definitions to categorise them (though I suppose Virgo-rising might enjoy that), but rather embracing their mystery.

Oh dear, another happy New Age phrase, embracing mystery.

No matter, let it stand. I believe anyone even vaguely creative and childlike can only delight in how much we don't know. It's about wonder and discovery and the pleasure at not knowing what could be round the next corner. Something wonderful or horrifying, or both. Something wise, something mischievous. Something altogether tragic and noble.

One of the authors who never lost the fairy spirit of the puer aeternus was Ray Bradbury (and C. S. Lewis, of course - and Lewis Carroll). And Michael Ende. And Neil Gaiman. Can't forget J. M. Barrie, either - he'd be the puer aeternus personified.

I'm 34 and I still delight in their writing, and one day, when I have kids, it will be my utter breamish joy to introduce them to the endless worlds of innocence and adventure. And danger, too, of course. Fairies so often end up where they shouldn't be. And sometimes, there's a terrible price to pay.

But what of that? We need dragons and witches, too. Not to mention the odd ogre army. Spices things up a bit. Gets the blood going. Makes the treasure worth having (and you know there's always treasure where there be dragonnes).

As I continue to observe outdoor rehearsals of Midsummer Night's Dream, which a local Anglophone theatre group is putting on later in June, I'm really feeling that innocence and joy inside me, fighting to return, despite the recent sorrows.

Hurrah for the time of Gemini!

I definitely, absolutely, without-a-doubt, 101 percent, believe in fairies. Do you?

The lovely image above was taken from this site.

Taurus versus Sagittarius: The Domestic Life of the Bull and Archer

2009-05-16T19:36:00.009+03:00

Sometimes, as unlikely a pairing as it may seem from the astrological point of view, Taurus and Sagittarius decide to get married.

I have observed this scenario for most of my life at close quarters, so this evening I bring you a little scene of domesticity between the bull and the archer, inspired somewhat by real events.

*******

TAURUS

(calling from the kitchen

to SAGITTARIUS):

I know your tendency to waste

time - start wrapping up whatever

you're doing because we're eating at eight.

SAGITTARIUS

(Arranging the 300+ photos from her last trip

while comparing hotel prices online)

What d'you mean? We only just had lunch!

TAURUS

We had lunch a full four hours ago

and I'm hungry. Anyway, don't argue,

we're eating at eight and that's final.

Where'd we keep the cumin?

SAGITTARIUS

Cumin? Don't tell me you're cooking?

TAURUS

Of course I'm cooking, we're having

dinner aren't we? Left to you we'd be

eating bread and cheese again.

SAGITTARIUS

(miffed)

What d'you mean again, I

made pasta for lunch didn't I?

TAURUS

You boiled the water you mean.

I made the sauce, added fresh

herbs and made sure we had extra

grated cheese. Speaking of, if we eat

any more bread and cheese we'll

turn into bloody bread and cheese!

SAGITTARIUS

(Grumbling under her breath)

What's wrong with bread and cheese

anyway? How many meals am I

expected to come up with every day?

(Calling to Taurus)

What are you making?

TAURUS

The chicken breasts in a yoghurt sauce.

Where'd'you keep the cumin?

SAGITTARIUS

Third shelf on the left.

Hang on... I was saving that

chicken for Thursday's lunch!

TAURUS

So, we'll cook something else.

Anyway, Thursday I thought

we'd entertain at home.

SAGITTARIUS

You're kidding! Thursday night

I'm going to that lecture on

comparative literature...

TAURUS

What the hell for? You keep saying

you're tired all the time and then

you rush off to these stupid things -

SAGITTARIUS

Well entertaining at home is not

my idea of relaxation. That's

far more tiring than any lecture.

TAURUS

(Bitterly)

We never do anything. We never

have anybody over. We never

entertain at home because

you can never be bothered to!

SAGITTARIUS

What are you talking about?

We go out all the time!

TAURUS

I'm talking about entertaining

at home. Cooking for friends!

When I was a child, my mother

was always making something

delicious and our friends

and family came over for

meals all the time.

SAGITTARIUS

(Shuddering involuntarily)

Well, you definitely married

the wrong gal if that's

what you wanted -

TAURUS

- look you've got half-an-hour,

then we're eating, okay?

SAGITTARIUS

Why don't you have the

same urgency about calling

the dentist, huh? Mister

Ants-in-his-pants?

Why don't you call him already?

TAURUS

Dentist, schmentist. I'll call

him next week. Anyway,

what the hell's the rush?

*******

Freddie Mercury (in Retrograde): He's the One

2009-05-13T02:46:00.009+03:00

This evening I attended a two-hour rehearsal of a Shakespeare comedy, being performed by a local Anglophone drama group here in Nicosia. And for awhile, the pain of the break-up and the lack of a concrete plan while being back again in Cyprus did not feel so painful.

Actually, I'm often super-animated and expressive when I'm with people, particularly creative people. And when this happens, Virgo-rising or no, all I want to do is perform.

This is more of a Leo trait of course, but my other planetary signatures for creative expression when added to that Aries Venus, just make me want to entertain, charm and engage with people. To put it another way, I'm the ego of the moment.

I guess I don't often mention my Venus in Aries on this blog, but for such an ill-at-ease, often quiet and sombre person who is uncomfortable in his own skin, weirdly enough, I can be the life and soul of the party.

Of course, it's not all fun and games, despite the fun and games, if you know what I mean.

This Venus is squared by neurotic, insecure Saturn in Cancer and opposed by iron-fist-in-velvet-glove Pluto in Libra.

However, this Venus is also trine jovial Neptune in fiery Sagittarius and sextile Mercury in electrically-charged Aquarius. And quintile Aquarius Mars. Not the kind of Venus to get her to a nunnery. Far from it. Frankly, this Venus is The One and doesn't care who knows it.

When I'm in this ultra-energised, witty and expressive mode, I feel like I'm channelling one of my favourite artists of all time: the late, great virtuoso performer and singer, Virgo Sun Freddie Mercury.

So much for my Virgo-rising modesty, but how curiously appropriate to this particular Mercury Rx period.

The image above was taken from this site.

The Nodes in the Fourth/Tenth, Or Visualising the Perfect Career

2009-05-10T16:16:00.010+03:00

These days, I am obsessed with manifesting a career that will suit me down to a 'T'. It's my first thought when I awake and the last thought when I sleep. (Well, other than thinking of my ex, whom I miss very much. Very, very much).

Apparently, those with a Sagittarian North Node have a better aptitude than others when it comes to manifesting their desires. I guess because Sags are always relying on faith that the wherewithal and provisions for a journey will be provided for by, well, Providence.

I have the North Node in Sagittarius in the Fourth House and a Gemini South Node in the Tenth. That South Node has marked a seemingly endless desire to experiment and change career plans, with a thirst for experiences that is always prematurely slaked just when the real commitment bit has to kick in.

In short, in imagining a career for myself' I've gone from one plan to another, with very little money made to show for it.

Additionally, I have a low boredom threshold and a terror of being tied down to a boring, monotonous job. I shy away from the kinds of occupation that most people wishing to be self-sufficient undertake for the greater good of not being parasitic/burdens on those they love and/or to support their families.

Unfortunately, while I harbour no end of self-condemnation for my own fickleness and inability to settle into one particular job, the pain, shame and lack of selfworth have obviously not been enough to compel me to do the honorable thing and say 'yes' to the first job I'm offered, just to stop my internal engine of condemnation from filling me with self-loathing.

It hasn't been enough to castigate myself into action with the full-on barrage of thoughts like: "You're a worthless, good-for-nothing, burden-on-society parasite, spoiled and selfish and lazy and not fit to enjoy what you do."

And yet, neither has it been enough to simply accept myself. While I have Mars and Mercury in an Aquarius Sixth House, and a Scorpio Uranus in the Third squaring that Mars (not to mention my Moon at 29 degrees of Capricorn), I have not been able to find peace simply by accepting myself as a rebel and a drifter.

To the contrary (as my ex likes to say), I actually very much want to prove myself with a decent career, decent money and a means with which to bring together my spiritual and creative interests. And support a family.

Meanwhile, though, there's this idea that jobs (and most careers) are meant to be soul-killing and badly-paid with miserably long hours, hellish deadlines, insufferable tedium and a brutish superior (or three). That's apparently how you can tell you're doing the responsible thing. The level of suffering is directly proportional to the level of maturity achieved.

[[Obviously I'm being rather petulant here, but I need to get this off my chest.]]

Yet I refuse to be in the above-mentioned situation. Which, I suppose, is proof of my own level of privilege and pampered-ness (is there such a noun?) on the one hand, and ongoing reluctance to make a commitment to a normal job/career or the constraints of a healthy adult life on the other.

Indeed, I hasten to add, trying to supress such inclinations has not resulted in the responsible behaviour I aspire to. Rather, it has continued to put me at war within myself and drain my energy and make me miserable.

Q: Which leaves me where exactly?

A: Back to self-acceptance and the manifestation of desire through focus and trust in the generosity of the Universe (and gratitude for the plenty I already enjoy).

I'm going to endeavour to be enough for myself, warts and all. Restlessness, impatience, low boredom threshold and ever-shifting inclinations toward creative/healing freelance career included.

And I'm going to imagine the perfect career. Which, for me, would have to include:

-- Travelling all over the world

-- The opportunity to interact with people spiritually and creatively

-- The opportunity to write and direct for film and theatre and generally express myself in a variety of ways (in this case, more writing - fiction, poetry, graphic novels, kids' books, illustration, music...)

-- The opportunity to share my knowledge, guide, teach and help people heal

-- The opportunity to keep learning till the day I die (languages, theories of anything, metaphysics - and just about everything other than knitting, sewing and stamp-collecting)

-- The opportunity to serve others and be a good steward of the earth

There. That's what I want to do for a living.

Did I mention I wanted a decent wage/income, too? I do. I want to make money and a decent amount of it.

Q: Am I daring to imagine such things when Saturn's about to go into my Second House of earned income (and values, and self-worth)?

A: You double betcha.

In the meantime, praises and thanks to the Universe for everything I enjoy and all those I love who are in my life, whether as friends or family.

*****

For those interested, my desire to envision (and, thus, manifest) the perfect job has been shaped by the principles shared in this book.

*****

The image above was taken from this site.

The Return of Discipline: Counting Down to Saturn Turning Direct

2009-05-05T21:53:00.010+03:00

The mutable signs are not known for their immense staying powers.

If the angles are in Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces, or there are a lot of planets (especially Mars, Mercury, Jupiter or Saturn) in these signs in a natal (or progressed) chart, you can bet the native will have trouble focusing on one particular goal for a sustained period of time.

I know whereof I speak: my angles are all mutable, my Sun and Jupiter are in Pisces, and the Nodes are Sagittarius-Gemini.

In addition, Neptune squares my Sun and my ascendant, and Aquarius Mars and Mercury keep my Sixth House often busy, but accomplishing little.

Also, I have little to no patience for longterm, process-oriented tasks.

It may be no surprise, then, that I've had several shortlived jobs in my past, and find it hard to commit to any one thing of my own volition - unless there's some concrete goal to be achieved.

Of course, Saturn in Cancer in the Eleventh might also have something to do with my prolonged shirking of more constraining 'grown-up' jobs (not to mention the 'terror' of having to be a part of a large group when it comes to the workplace).

Meanwhile, Saturn rules my Fifth House and it's no wonder my romantic and creative life have been making little headway during its lengthy retrograde.

In short, I'm REALLY looking forward to Saturn going direct on May 16th. That's mid-month, this month. With any luck that'll point to the discipline I've been sorely lacking of late to knuckle down to some serious creative writing.

Of course, I'm not going to wait till then to start attacking the writing projects I have in mind. But psychologically, I know getting to May 16th will feel like the right momentum will be building in my favour again.

My Capricorn Moon can't wait.

The image above was taken from this site.

Looking Ahead: Unlocking the Potential of Saturn-Pluto (and Pluto-Venus)

2009-04-30T20:00:00.008+03:00

As a way of distracting myself from the ongoing sadness of the break-up, I'm looking ahead to transiting Saturn's entry into my natal second house as of this October, where natal Pluto awaits for the inevitable conjunction.

You always sense the changing of the guard astrologically before it happens. Especially with the transits of Saturn. Whatever is the issue that will be at the forefront with its ingress into a new sign is already 'in the air' by the time it's finishing up its passage in the sign before.

Saturn is almost done with my Virgo first and I feel like I'm 100 years old. I'm also even skinnier than I was before and wrinklier, too. Which is a rather odd combo, since I'm still considered youthful-looking (despite the advanced age of 34) so now I look like a really young-looking old guy. Weird.

But for a long time now, and growing in tremendous urgency over the last year, has been the issue of income. I'm tired of my hitherto stop-start earnings. I take most of the responsibility for this in that I never wanted a mainstream 9-5 job. In my defence though, my educational background is so varied (and arty) that I don't really fit a mainstream job. Quite apart from which, in Cyprus, the media jobs in the English language (since my English is stronger than my Greek) are few and far between.

However, mostly, I blame myself. If I wanted the security and money badly enough, I'd have sucked up the boredom in what was available and got on with it. That would have been, my natal retrograde Saturn in Cancer reminds me, the mature thing to do.

Now, I'm determined to unlock the doors of abundance in employment and - transiting Jupiter in my Sixth - to do so in a way that is meaningful to me. I am determined to start my shamanic training this August, but before that happens, I'm determined to make the most of my grab-bag of skills to become a truly independent freelancer.

There is another, far more major reason for my reticence to take on a mainstream job in conservative Cyprus, which, for reasons of privacy, I never mention on this blog. One day, I hope that obstacle and its power to make me feel like a freak, to be gone from my life. And perhaps one day, I'll feel brave enough to talk about it openly.

But the fact remains, I'm still more comfortable setting my own hours and working one-on-one with people in a creative/spiritual/healing way. You'd think astrology as a fulltime career would be the answer. But even the best astrologers among us attest to how the profession is not a get-rich-quick field. And with natal Pluto in my second opposite natal Venus in my eighth, I feel there is a much greater store of abundance than I have experienced so far, available to me. Of course, both Pluto and Venus are squared by natal Saturn, so there is huge fear involved with tapping into the power (and wealth) of that Pluto-Venus dynamic.

But I'm determined to heal myself of that fear and start making money. Money will mean more freedom, independence, self-sufficiency, confidence AND flow of energy in other ways. Movement in my life which has been marked by either periods of incredible frenzy and others of seemingly unending stagnancy.

Of course, like many, I tend to 'mythologise' my life. It's just an ordinary life in many ways, and I've been incredibly privileged.

But making decent money on my own terms... that will be part of the new chapter that is now beginning. I hope I can be of some service/use to others. I hope I can unlock my creativity in tangible form. I really, really hope I can slay some of the demons that have haunted (and tormented) me for so long.

Money. Transformation of potential (and values - here's hoping it includes a new self-worth). Re-structuring of self-sufficiency and plenty. Saturn bearing down on natal Pluto in the Second. Abundance.

The image above was taken from this site.

Eight of Cups - Mourning the Past

2009-04-29T22:24:00.009+03:00

The second time my ex and I broke up was this New Year's day. That's right, before the current permanent parting, we'd had two earlier dress rehearsals.

To elaborate: on January 1st of this year, we decided to split up again and I fell into such a funk I hopped over to Llewellyn's Web Tarot and did a free online spread based on my relationship woes - mostly to see if there was a shred of hope to be had.

Not a chance.

The spread was a Celtic Cross (the only one I really have some knowledge of - I'm no Tarot expert) and the outcome was the eight of cups. Which, in the mythic tarot deck I generally use, signifies mourning, and a descent into the underworld as the consequence of a relationship-associated death.

We later decided to hang on in there to give things one last shot, so I thought the cards to have been mistaken.

I was wrong.

Mourning is a very important part of the grieving (and healing) process I'm told. Experientially, it feels awful - especially if, as the grief gurus recommend - we don't fight or distract ourselves from feeling our pain, but rather embrace it.

That's why, from what I gather, observant Jews 'sit shiva' after a death, whereby those who are bereaved are required to do nothing but sit and encounter their grief again and again and again for a specified period. To really enter the underworld of mourning.

And then, at the end of that specified time, they are to resume the normal course of their lives. Which all sounds eminently sensible to me and is probably one of the healthiest ways to gain closure.

But whichever way you tackle it, it's still painful as hell.

The image above was taken from this site.

The Pitch is All

2009-04-29T00:56:00.005+03:00

It's starting to happen. Early days and baby steps aside, I pitched my feature film idea for a noir thriller in Cyprus this evening and the filmmaker friends who were my audience - and potential collaborators - seemed genuinely interested.

Now all I need to do - no small task - is to write the feature script. It'll be a film that explodes some pretty major taboos in Cyprus, so I do hope it gets made so as to get a decent dialogue going about certain socially repressed topics.

I say no more, but I have to use the upcoming Mercury retrograde in Gemini (most of my midheaven - which houses my South node, too) to really nail down the plot, so I can use June for writing a decent first draft.

Really excited. And really missing my ex. Sigh. How I wish I could share my anticipation with her

The above image was taken from this site.

Capricorn Moon at the Anaretic Degree, Or Why You Shouldn't Mess With Your Natal Planets

2009-04-27T22:12:00.010+03:00

Some time ago, one of the astrologers whose blog I enjoy reading, Elsa Panizzon of ElsaElsa.com, observed (and I'm paraphrasing here) that not to acknowledge the specifics of your planets' signs/houses/aspects, is to cheat yourself of the meaning of your chart. It is to over-ride the message of the planets at the moment of your birth. In other words, it is to put yourself 'above' the planets and the energies (and balance) they stand for in your life.

For example, my natal Moon is to be found at 29 degrees, 38 minutes of Capricorn. Some astrologers use the term 'anaretic' for this final degree. If you wanted to argue the point, you could say it was in Aquarius. I mean, it's almost there - less than a degree away from the next sign.

And Aquarius would seem, on the surface of it, to well explain my Saturn-ruled early life (and mother), with the added desire to up-end convention in service to the wider needs of humanity, as well as to be rebelliously 'different'.

These things are true of me, but they are not marked by the placement of my Moon. Rather, they are symbolised by my Aquarian Mars and Mercury. And, no doubt, the sextile to my Virgo ascendant from natal Uranus in Scorpio.

My desire, my early life, my mother, even my heritage or clan, however, is still distinctly Capricornian. In my case, my driving need is to build something in order to attain achievement, distinction, respect, prestige or authority. When I am at my most instinctual (read: under attack, under pressure, threatened) I repress my emotions and turn coolly to leading. In fact, I'm as comfortable leading as I am serving - which is a strange thing indeed for a Pisces Sun, Virgo rising.

Not to mention that, despite that annoying South Node in my 10th house, I find it really, really hard to put aside the drive to shine careerwise and to gain supreme respect among my colleagues.

I've often found such vast ambition troubling and out of synch with my endeavour to lead a more modest and self-deprecating life - and to better the lot of others in some way.

Nevertheless, the fact remains that my Moon remains in Capricorn and, no matter how much I may try to deny it, the energy of it is always there.

Meanwhile, the anaretic degree of a sign is held by astrologers who integrate the idea of Karma or past lives into their interpretation of a chart, to be particularly portentous in that the native has 'one last chance' in this lifetime to learn the lessons of that particular sign.

Interestingly enough, my natal Moon is at the end of the Fifth House and could be read as also in the Sixth. Which is perfect because I have always desired (Moon) to put my creativity and art (Fifth House) into service for others (Aquarian Sixth).

In short, I'd agree with Elsa. Don't try and round off the numbers or fudge the placements of your planets. They're exactly where they were for a particular reason: to give you your unique blueprint for this lifetime.

The image above was taken from this site.

Ever Feel Astrologically Under Siege?

2009-04-27T01:47:00.006+03:00

Sometimes, as much as I enjoy astrology, I find it hard not to get somewhat discouraged by the - frequently sombre - longterm interpretations of the ongoing transits, particularly when it comes to the slower-moving outer planets.

Yes, I realise everyone's experiencing the challenges in various areas of their lives. Yes, I get that we're collectively sharing the growing pains of a new order. Yes, I understand that the more 'dynamic' aspects needn't 'hurt' if we are open to change.

But every now and then, I'm sick of reading about it. I don't want to know whether or not Mars or Venus are going retrograde tomorrow or if they're about to square Pluto (which is thereafter to be squared by Saturn in Libra and Uranus in Aries). And I'm truly better off ignorant about a new or full moon being afflicted by hostile planetary configurations.

By this point, I'm sure there are plenty of Saturnian or Plutonian types who are smirking at reading this:

'Listen to the pathetic Pisces shaking in his boots. Aw, is the poor fishy afraid? Does he want his mommy? Just shaddap and take it like a man, worm!'

Quite. And those types can go read more macho content elsewhere. Joking apart, there are plenty of excellent astrologers with worthy blogs listed on the right of this post, providing valuable analyses of the heavens' import.

But for those, like me, who get weary, every now and then, from hearing how we all need to 'let go' and 'surrender' and 'move forward', because 'whatever's gone is so over it ain't even funny', check out Kim Gould's alternative melange of metaphysical systems at: loveyourdesign. In fact, I'm going to add it now to my list of fave astro links.

No offence to anyone meant, or, I hope, taken. I guess if I can't take the heat, I should hop off the ecliptic.

The image above was taken from this site.

Jack Nicholson, Taurus Par Excellence

2009-04-25T18:13:00.007+03:00

Jack Nicholson is much on my mind these days, given how this Taurean native is the epitome of the unhurried, earthy, macho type who won't surrender his pleasures, even when the price to be paid is higher than he can afford.

Allow me to explain.

Since my breakup with my ex (see my earlier post on this here), I've been focused on pouring myself into my filmmaking career. Indeed, the better part of the past six months I spent in New York (a city I intend to make my home some day) was spent re-connecting with my fellow film alums from Columbia University's graduate film programme.

My aim is to write a feature script - a film noir - set in Cyprus, to launch my career as a writer/director. I figure the island of my birth might just be the happy hunting ground I need for a first full-length film, and hopefully the relatively good impression which was left by the short I wrote and directed last year will help things happen for me.

Given my interest in the noir form, I keep coming back to two films for inspiration: Chinatown and The Crying Game, though of course, neither film is a true example of the genre. However, Chinatown has been particularly informative, not only for its dazzling direction and glamorous production design, but the charismatic performances by Faye Dunaway and, in particular, Taurean man's man, Jack Nicholson.

All things considered, thoughts of his performance are quite fitting given the sun is now in Taurus, and I wonder whether I'll end up modelling my story's anti-hero on Nicholson, or on Scorpio sun (and zodiacal opposite to Taurus) Stephen Rea, who is the protagonist of The Crying Game.

Fascinating actors both. Tough, tough choice. Stay tuned.

This still from Chinatown was taking from this site.

Taurus New Moon - Welcome Abundance

2009-04-24T23:37:00.008+03:00

So, it's the Taurus new moon, and I figured I should post something to kick off my return to this blog.

It's been ages since I've posted anything here and, frankly, it takes a lot to be back. The last six months have been fairly taxing emotionally and mentally - even physically, given some needful surgery I underwent this past February.

I'm now back in Nicosia, Cyprus after having flown out from New York City this Monday and having ended my first major relationship - my American ex-girlfriend's decision, not mine. To be honest, I can't get my head, heart and mind round the situation. But perhaps it's for the best. Her reasons for deciding on the break-up were based on our different cultures and paths in life, and our lack of mutual interests. Hearing that you'd think splitting up would be obvious. But we lasted a month shy of six years because of the love and tenderness we had for each other. There was a lot of that, the first three years. And it was wonderful. Certainly the best three years of my life and a level of happiness I never thought I'd enjoy.

If I'm honest with myself, though, I'll admit that we were always different, which was probably always going to be problematic in the long-run. And the kind of affection I mention above had been one-sided (ie from me alone) for a while now - particularly after the half-way point during my forced return to Cyprus from August 2006-October 2008 (due to my scholarship's strict home requirements following my graduation), and the obstacles to her joining me on the island. While we were living apart, her own hopes and dreams surged forth (unsurprising, as Saturn crossed her ascendant just days before I left the USA for my two years of 'exile' in Cyprus) and she began to focus unrelentingly towards realising her dream. She wants to found a charter school where she will be the principal and, in this way, shape children's education. To achieve this, she began collecting all the needful credentials - MBA, MEd, three years of teaching, PhD - while holding down a full-time job, as of March of 2007, leaving her little time for me, but also eventually granting her the insight that we were never going to bond over her passion for education, or over mine for filmmaking and all things spiritual.

So again, I guess she might have done us a huge favour by calling it off. But I'm still in mourning for a shared life I thought would be ours.

Just what has this to do with today's Taurus new moon?

Well, Taurus is a symbol of fertility and abundance, and my ex always symbolised 'plenty' to me. She was the embodiment of the Empress of the Tarot and the cornucopia of all good things; a happy, joyous home where there was always something playful happening, good food being prepared, and much love available to be shared. It might sound unrealistically idealised, but I guess that's part of the meaning of my family-oriented, Saturn in Cancer and Venus trine Neptune (the latter found in my fourth house). In other words, she was the manifestation of all that home and love mean to me.

But now that she is no longer mine in that way, I find I'm more and more open to finding abundance in my own heart and soul. Finding self-sufficiency and plenty inside me. And with Taurus in most of my ninth house, I am focusing on tapping into the abundance and creativity of my 'higher mind' and my higher education. I'm looking toward generating my most mature creative writing, after a wealth of tertiary education, and for it to steer me toward creative plenty and - why be coy about it? - money.

I've always had a troubled relationship with money; when I was growing up, there never seemed to be enough - even though I lacked for nothing and enjoyed a pretty high standard of living - and there was tremendous anxiety about it. Until recently, I was either uninterested in making or having it, or believed I had no aptitude to earn any significant amount. Now I see it as energy, and I'm sending out my gratitude in advance for the plenty in terms of income that is about to open to me. (This is a big issue of trust in the provision of the universe/God, so it's part of my healing process - being fairly left-brained, I tend to doubt the so-called 'law of attraction' without applying myself in a more practical, mundane way to 'getting what I want').

Of course, money can't take the place of the joys of the senses. And it can't buy you love. But perhaps the joy of abundance that is Taurus, whether its a plenty of lucre, literary output or love, will carry me forward toward finding that 'plenty' in a new love again.

Peace, joy, creativity and plenty to all on this Taurus new moon.

Meanwhile, thumbs up to the lovely article on this lunation by Beth Owl's Daughter. You can read it here.

The image above is from the mythic Tarot deck and was taken from this site

For Beloved Neni

2009-02-12T04:19:00.010+02:00

Today my beloved grandmother, was buried. Yes, that's her as a young woman in the photo above. I was not by her side as I had hoped to be, but far away across an ocean in another country. Nonetheless, she had been constantly in my thoughts and I know she is now both at peace and watching over the family like an angel. I loved her so much and she me. I know she loves me still, as I do her.

She died a day after the exact Saturn-Uranus opposition on February 6, her Virgo Sun weighed down by the great malefic, and opposed by the liberator in Pisces. Meanwhile, Jupiter was bearing down on my mother's own natal Aquarius Moon, so I had known for some time that Granny's death was a distinct possibility this year.

The last six-and-a-half years had been an endless torment for her, leaving her bedridden and utterly dependent after a heavy stroke - a stroke that had reduced this elegant, always gracious and self-sufficient lady to a withered husk of herself, covered in weeping sores from the terrible skin condition she developed in the last two years of her life, her left hand shrivelled into a permanent sickle shape, both it and her left leg paralysed.

Now she will no longer slur her words, or endure long hours trapped in her bed or sit hunched in her wheelchair; nor will she have to brace herself for the daily ordeal of eating, brushing her teeth, or having her hair untangled from its knots.

Instead, I know the celestial door has opened to her soul and she, once more a beautiful young maiden, is free to step across the threshold into the light and ageless love that has been waiting to welcome her back from the day she was born. I know this not in a sentimental way, but as a simple truth of my heart.

Darling, immortal Neni, I love you and I know you will never leave me again.

Venus Trine Neptune: the Piscean M.O. for Lovin'

2009-02-01T08:14:00.008+02:00

I used to think everyone experienced that breathless, dumbstruck, shaken-to-the-core sensation when it came to love.

Then I found out that Pisceans are rather pathetic when it comes to matters amorous.

And even later than that, I discovered that, irrespective of whether one has the Sun in Pisces or not, if one is born with one's natal Venus trine its higher octave, Neptune, then falling in love is an event so momentous, it feels like whole worlds are being formed and destroyed at the mere thought of the beloved. It feels like being dropped in the heart of the sun and rejoicing at the annihilation. It feels like being ripped apart by a thunderous, rapturous wave - the perfect one surfers wait for - except you don't ride it, you let if fall upon you like a heavy, white mesh of bliss and surrender to being wiped out.

Er, before we get too carried away, that is my attempt to articulate what the experience symbolized by a Neptune/Venus trine might feel like. My own natal trine between those two planets is in the element of fire - Venus in Aries, Neptune in Sagittarius, and boy have I willingly burned whenever the lovebug's bit.

Why did I happen to choose this topic to post on? Because I've been musing about a lot of things, of late, including trying to identify where my own source of creativity comes from. A friend asked me two days ago something along those lines, and I burbled out an inarticulate reply that it required "a brush with love".

But really, that's what it is. What I feel when someone strikes me as beautiful and desirable and lovely, is that same exultant feeling I get when contemplating what strikes me as a great story to tell, or a dizzying bit of drama to act out. I feel like I leave my body and soar somewhere, not entirely certain of the geography.

Apparently, there are people for whom such transportation does not occur. I'm not entirely sure I should feel sorry for them. The highs bestowed on you by the almost transcendent, spiritual love symbolised by a Venus-Neptune trine are more than matched by the lows when the beloved one is seen through the inevitable perspective of the mundane. Or dear old Saturn comes to call by transit or progression, tearing down the pedestals we've built in our adoration and showing us exactly what we've sworn undying devotion to. Not quite as beautiful when seen through the Saturnian goggles, and absolutely no flying of any kind allowed. It's more like enduring, accepting, forgiving.

Perhaps a more positive way of putting all of that: Saturn helps give form to the ethereal, almost protean (and near sexless) nature of the Venus-Neptune trine, which, in its desire for immaculate, pure devotion, is less inclined to bring true carnality into the mixture. That's for Mars and Venus (and Pluto) to sort out on some other level.

I know that I still - very rarely now, but from time to time - see the apparent image of my first love - my long dead biology teacher appear before me, just before an important creative experience is about to dawn. She's usually walking just a little ahead of me, as lovely and as out of reach as when I first met her. She's always 28, the year she died. For me, she is an precious innocence, a remembrance of adolescent yearning that no amount of weariness, human frailty, age and cynicism can take away.

So love (and creativity) for me, is this, in essence: an idealised longing for a union where two melt away into some sublime self-negation. Which is, as far as I can make out, about as good an interpretation of Venus trine Neptune as a Piscean Sun can probably put it.

Pisceans. Tsk. They're so wimpy and soft. So sappy, gushy, wishy-washy, airy-fairy, arty-farty. Bleeding their hearts all over the carpet. Then crying because the carpet was the only thing you had to remember your dear departed old grandmother by.

Good thing bad boys Osama Bin Laden and Ariel Sharon (and Rupert Murdoch) have proved just how badass they can be. But then, to my knowledge, none of them is afflicted by a natal Venus-Neptune trine.

The image above was taken from this site.

Capricorn as Teacher Part II

2008-12-29T05:54:00.012+02:00

Time for visualisations, gratitude and affirmation, as the window of opportunity afforded by the new moon in Capricorn closes.

Capricorn is the sign on my natal Fifth house cusp - what astrologers describe as given over to love affairs, children, creative projects and speculative activities such as games and gambling. A house mostly of pleasure in other words.

Can't say such matters have been a barrel of laughs for me. For one thing, Capricorn is ruled by cosmic taskmaster Saturn. And the square between Saturn and Venus (conjunct Chiron) in my natal chart has meant love has required plenty of sacrifice and heartache. Granted, I've grown a great deal from such heartache, but not by choice.

Alright, enough boo-hooing on that score.

In general, as a fairly Saturnian (and Plutonian) sort - my Moon is at 29 degrees of Capricorn at the end of the aforementioned house - the kind of lightheartedness associated with the Fifth was never going to happen for me. Which is not to say that I haven't had many happy or tender moments. Or that the tougher moments haven't taught me a lot. But love, creativity and pleasure have been very much of the Capricorn/Saturn kind: ie. the type that come with a lot of set-backs, disappointments and often crushing self-awareness thrown in.

And now, dear old Pluto's moved in for a goodly time. More hard work in store. Which is okay, I hasten to add since, with my Virgo ascendant and Aquarius Mercury and Mars in the Sixth (not to mention that pesky Capricorn Moon) I need work in order to be able to live with myself. Work brings me meaning, and stretches of too much free time sends me teetering into doubt, despair and severe depression.

But work of the kind that Pluto now promises scares me. The kind that is deep, profound, relentless and pitiless on the weakest links. That kind of work in the area of love, where I so often feel inadequate and vulnerable, is terrifying.

Not to mention, Pluto will be filling out the fourth arm in my natal cardinal T-Square between Saturn, Venus and birth Pluto, and at some point, conjuncting my Moon. What does this frankly unappetising transit bode for the timorous such as myself?

The only response I can offer lies in the virtues of Capricorn. Or rather, only a Capricornian answer seems possible, as dictated by Saturn, that "old devil" planet astrologers used to call the Greater Malefic.

My riposte to the uncertainty of possible trauma and loss ahead is the following:

- I will surrender to and carry out the work necessary without complaint to the best of my ability.

- I will choose to face and willingly assume every responsibility placed on me.

- I will visualise and nurture a positive plan for my future -and be unafraid to cultivate one that might include possible public acclaim.

- I will accept the limitations and obstacles placed in my path without giving in to apathy, despair or self-pity.

- I will freely, patiently and dedicatedly strive to lay strong foundations - however slow the process - to better the lives of others as well as myself, no matter how small such an improvement might be.

-I will commit to becoming the best leader, lover, artist, servant and teacher I can be.

-I will shake off the burdens that are not mine, forgive all enemies and slough away grudges. I will also forgive myself my mistakes.

-I will accept myself, shake off my cynicism and climb the mountain. That above all: I will climb the mountain. And I will do so with a young and unguarded heart.

At this time of the Capricorn new moon, I thank the universe for all the creativity, love, needful risks and new life that is to come my way over the next several years. May Pluto in Capricorn help me to build a truer, purer joy both in my life and that of others.

*****************

For a breezier take on the virtues of Capricorn as Teacher, read one of my earlier posts here.

The image above was taken from this site.

Gergiev and Lepage: Modern Magicians

2008-11-19T22:09:00.007+02:00

I was lucky enough to have caught two musical gems - well one was a musical gem, the other a visual gem that had, almost apparently by accident, been paired with musical content - over the course of these past two days.

For two glorious evenings, I pretended I was a well-heeled, intellectually (and financially) patrician New Yorker. In a word, I caught two shows at the Lincoln Centre, the first the reknowned Valery Gergiev conducting the Kirov (Mariinksy) Orchestra and Choir in a performance of Sergei Prokofiev's scores for Sergei Eisenstein's Ivan the Terrible and Alexander Nevsky and the second a production of Hector Belioz' La Damnation de Faust whose visual design was created by Canadian techno-wizard Robert Lepage (aided by an able team of light and effects mages, not to mention the superlative acrobats of Cirque du Soleil).

The Gergiev show (yeah, at heart, I'm really a bourg-y philistine) was the most thrillingly annihilating piece of live music I'd heard in a long time. And it really spoke to my obessesion with brooding, powerful, depraved personalities. On film, that is. I caught myself thinking all the while... if a score can so effortlessly convey the conflict between a despot's out-and-out brutal, powerhungry nature and his more patriotic intentions, it is no wonder that tyrannts like Stalin exercised so much control over the arts, especially the peforming arts. They speak directly to that subliminal, primal part of the human psyche that could be used either for mass revolution or mass control.

Other than the barrage of incredibly cinematic music, infused with that brooding, intense, savage quality that is a hallmark of Russian creative expression, I was mesmerised by Gergiev himself, a rough-yet-graceful Pan in white tie and tails, his hands, wrists, arms and shoulders all moving in a melange of circular and sawing motions that made for a totally individual semiotics. A code his musicians obviously knew unto the last flick and sway and with which Gergiev seemingly casually created an awesome array of dynamics.

Particularly hypnotic (though my beloved who accompanied me would have offered 'distracting' instead) were his fingers, which seemed to be playing an invisible fretboard one minute, then flicking phantom raindrops at great speed the next.

The evening also made me silently vow to myself to put Eisenstein's Ivan (thank you YouTube for clips to whet my appetite), and maybe even Alexander Nevsky on my 'to-view' list of DVDs. Given that my paternal grandmother was always reading the Russian literary greats, and my father's family spoke with such nostalgia for the heydey of the arts in Soviet Armenia, I've always felt I should dip into the mighty canon of, at the very least, Russian cinema. Alas, limited time and a somewhat short attention span has hitherto put paid to most of that ambition - though my love for the film version of Boris Pasternak's Doctor Zhivago - admittedly a diluted version of life under the Bolsheviks - directed by Englishman David Lean no less - might have, perhaps, gone some way to mitigating the blame!

If you want a less-salutory but more technical appraisal of the performance, go the New York Times' write-up by James R. Oestreich here.

As for Faust, despite the rather forgettable music, the pleasures for the eye were unrelenting; the high-point for me was the way interactive video technology that was part of the grand, multi-panel, multi-level stage brought the lighting and weightlessness of the ocean bed to life.

To sample some of the production's magic-making, go here.

An afterthought: I almost caught Lepage's one man techno-take on Hamlet - Elsinore - back at the Edinburgh festival of 1996, but his set had some glitch that prevented him from performing on the day I had free to see it. The beautiful artifice he created for Faust that I witnessed last night made the regret of my missed opportunity all the keener.

The image by Jennifer Taylor was taken from this site.

In the Midst of Joy, Sorrow

2008-11-06T01:59:00.008+02:00

Proposition 8, banning gay marriage in California has now passed, basically 'un-marrying' all those who had rushed to take advantage of the right to be wed while it still stood.

Bummer for Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi and all those other smug queers, eh? They were getting mighty uppity. Good thing they got put in their place.

Here are the salient paragraphs from the New York Times' reportage today:

California Voters Ban Gay Marriage

By RANDAL C. ARCHIBOLD and ABBY GOODNOUGH

LOS ANGELES — California voters have adopted a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, The Associated Press reported Wednesday, joining voters in two other states who went to the polls Tuesday to overturn such unions.

. . .

Only three states this year had ballots that included bans on same-sex marriage, compared with 8 in 2006 and 11 in 2004.

The ban passed in all three states — the other two being Florida and Arizona — but its success in California, a trend-setter in so many arenas, was seen as major defeat for gay rights activists.

A total of $73 million was spent on the race there, a record for a ballot measure on a social issue, resulting in incessant television and radio commercials from both sides. Advocates of the ban played up their belief that without it, children could be taught about gay marriage in schools, while opponents likened approval to denying fundamental civil rights.

The measure came only months after California’s highest court ruled it constitutional, spurring thousands of gay couples to marry there.

“We pick ourselves up and trudge on,” said Kate Kendall, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights. “There has been enormous movement in favor of full equality in eight short years. That is the direction this is heading, and if it’s not today or it’s not tomorrow, it will be soon.”

The article may be found in full here. Further coverage can be found at abc local's site here.

Meanwhile, you can sample the sort of viewpoint behind 'Yes on 8', at a blog run by Stephen Black of Oklahoma, a self-professed recoverer from, among other things "sex, drugs, sexual abuse, sexual distortions, and identity conflict in homosexuality".

The post of Black's that I'm referring to - actually an article by the similarly-minded Oklahoma pastor Paul Blair - has the following highlights:

We in America have taken great care for the well being of our fellow man.

We require seat belts to be worn in order to save lives. Cigarette smoking is discouraged because of the increased risk of lung cancer. We even have limitations on vending machines in schools because of the danger of obesity. Yet, if someone dares raise a question about the obvious dangers associated with homosexual behavior, that person is labeled a homophobe. It is more loving to speak the truth in love than to placate those practicing self-destructive behavior.

Homosexuality is dangerous. Homosexuality is sinful. Homosexual marriage will destroy the very existence of the home in America. Never in the history of America is the traditional home facing the threat of extinction as it is today. Christians, we must take a right stand and cast our vote in defense of the sanctity of the Traditional Judeo-Christian Home. There are over 60 million “Evangelical” (political definition of professing believers with more traditional beliefs) Christians in America. We need a Spiritual Revolution and Awakening in America. If we wake up, pray up, show up and vote we can BEGIN to take a right stand for America.

As ever, you can read the whole of the post here.

The above image was taken from this site.

Yes, He Could. Yes, They Did.

2008-11-05T06:37:00.006+02:00

I cannot begin to say how much it meant to me to have been able to witness first-hand the election of the US' first Black president from the heart of Harlem.

The above image was snapped in the wee hours of this morning as I perched precariously on top of a small table at the back of the packed 8th Avenue restaurant/bar Londell's, watching and listening to those momentous images and words of president-elect, Barack Hussein Obama. People round me - black and white alike - whooped, clapped and wept openly. I was no exception.

Let the healing begin, and praises to the divine intelligences that be. That's God to me.

Obama, 2012 and the Saturn-Uranus face-off

2008-11-04T18:05:00.011+02:00

You may ask, what has Obama to do with 2012 and today's exact Saturn-Uranus opposition, which has been much touted across the Astroblogosphere in the past six months. Here's the connection that I can see - and bear in mind that I don't profess to be an advanced astrologer (though I'm slowly getting there - just took NCGR's level one exam towards professional certification this past Sunday):

Re. 2012 and the dreaded end of the Mayan Long Count, etc: President Barack Obama could be the metaphorical pole-shift which the survivalists are expecting to end this present age on December 21, 2012, according to that ancient Mesoamerican calendar. Except Obama's presidency will only just have got cooking by the time the next election date swings round - November 6, 2012 - only a month away from the fateful Winter's Solstice that the doomsayers have marked down on the calendar as the end of the age.

My guess is that, irrespective of whether Obama gets a second term (since I'm counting on him to make history today) or not, his election will have set in motion a change (Uranus) so profound, that it will not merely challenge the traditional hierarchies (Saturn) of our globalised world, but force international leaders to confront the limitations of power to such a degree that the current patterns of geopolitics will have to shift in response.

Of course, I would hate for the survivalists to be right anyway - just take a glance at some of my earlier posts - on the other hand, the cultural paradigm shift has already begun, given the unique nature of how this election was waged. Check out the following from today's New York Times online:

After Epic Campaign, Voters Go to Polls
by Adam Nagourney

The 2008 race for the White House that comes to an end on Tuesday fundamentally upended the way presidential campaigns are fought in this country, a legacy that has almost been lost with all the attention being paid to the battle between Senators John McCain and Barack Obama.

It has rewritten the rules on how to reach voters, raise money, organize supporters, manage the news media, track and mold public opinion, and wage — and withstand — political attacks, including many carried by blogs that did not exist four years ago. It has challenged the consensus view of the American electoral battleground, suggesting that Democrats can at a minimum be competitive in states and regions that had long been Republican strongholds.

The size and makeup of the electorate could be changed because of efforts by Democrats to register and turn out new black, Hispanic and young voters. This shift may have long-lasting ramifications for what the parties do to build enduring coalitions, especially if intensive and technologically-driven voter turnout programs succeed in getting more people to the polls. Mr. McCain’s advisers expect a record-shattering turnout of 130 million people, many being brought into the political process for the first time.

And so on - you can read the rest here.

Meanwhile, Lynn Hayes, one of my favourite astrobloggers has a great, more technical analysis on the Saturn-Uranus face-off here, and includes some very positive transits for today, too. Not least, a Moon-Jupiter conjunction in Capricorn - which bodes well for the masses (Moon) electing a more inclusive, expansive (Jupiter) government - trined by a supportive, responsible Saturn in Virgo, and sextiled by a compassionate, humanitarian and progressive Uranus in Pisces.

Well, that's the positive spin, at least, and I'm going to erase thoughts of a potential GOP Old Washingtonian (Saturn) last minute victory over the forces of Change (Uranus). Then again, as any modern astrologer will tell you, no planet, symbolically, is all positive or negative. It all depends on how its energy is harnessed. So Uranus is less-than-warm-and-cuddly in its association with sudden 'liberation' from people/situations, whether you're ready for such freedom or not, and Saturn is not-as-limiting as the bad astro-press would have you believe, given his connection to the structures that ground and support us.

Basically, I'm not expecting a miraculous, overnight Shangri-La when Obama takes the White House, but hope, rather, for the best blend of the opposing planets' energies - namely a creative, positive dialogue between the forces of tradition, conservatism and strong government and the powers of innovation, radical change and individualism.

Meanwhile, I'll be glad when today is over and we get the final result.

Et Tu, Europe?

2008-10-17T15:51:00.007+03:00

Usually, I try to avoid the smugness Europeans like to pretend they don't indulge in, and had been grateful for the moderately more effective response by the EU towards the credit crisis.

I had also been happier with the greater concern - comparatively - that Europe had shown towards global warming and its related bag of terrors, than some other developed countries.

But I was disheartened, to say the least, to see the following posted on the New York Times website today:

European Nations Seek to Revise Agreement on Emissions Cuts

"BRUSSELS — Fears of a sharp worldwide economic slowdown are threatening a hard-won European plan on climate change that European leaders hoped would set an example for the rest of the world.

At a rancorous summit meeting this week of the European Union’s heads of state, several Eastern European countries and Italy said they might no longer be able to afford to slash greenhouse gas emissions as envisioned under a broad plan agreed upon last year and would need some concessions from other countries in the bloc. That agreement called for the union to reduce such emissions, linked by climate scientists to global warming, by 20 percent from 1990 levels by the year 2020.

The plan — hailed by the former French president Jacques Chirac as “a great moment in European history” — goes beyond the Kyoto Protocol, which requires industrial nations bound by the treaty to reduce the emission of global-warming gases by an average of 5 percent below 1990 levels by 2012.

After the outline was agreed to last year, the countries began working on detailed proposals for how they would reach the goal for emissions cuts, which essentially meant figuring out how much of an economic burden each nation would bear. France, which holds the rotating presidency of the union, had hoped to win approval for a more detailed agreement in December.

While some countries had already begun worrying about how much they were being asked to contribute to hit the emissions reduction goal, the economic downturn increased their concerns."

Read the rest here.

And if you're in mind to get an astrological perspective of the rather gobsmacking changes we're living through, check out the humour, insight and analysis at the wonderful Astrotabletalk blog, run by Dharmaruci.

Another Slap in the 2012 Survivalists' Faces

2008-08-02T02:27:00.005+03:00

These days, I'm lucky if I get to this blog once a month. But once again, I couldn't resist posting on a rather wry, witty riposte (actually, more like an annihilation) of the 2012 survivalists' frenzy of preparation for doomsday.

Naturally, part of why I enjoyed Eliezer Sobel's post was the unflattering dosage of vigorous schadenfreude. But then again, we do do that anyway on this blog. Just check out the banner if you don't believe me!

Mostly, though, part of me is now so invested in making more out of my life than merely living till 2012. Some of the dreams are grand, some of them are humble.

I have films to make, financial independence to seek and a family to provide for. Not to mention, greater spiritual and physical mastery to strive for (is that a holographic Zen Buddhist monk I see before me, frowning? "Strive not! Neither resist striving!"). And humility and a greater ability to serve to cultivate...

But back to the Sobel's post on 2012. Here are the opening paras, as ever:

"Don't ask me to cite the source, but I recall Terence McKenna once suggesting that the Mayan calendar calculations might possibly have been off by two thousand years, in which case it is the year 4012 for which we need to be gearing up, not 2012. That gives us a little breathing room to finish wrapping up our affairs and stockpiling Basmati rice, peanut-butter cookies and Power Bars, and if you have a generator, the complete set of Seinfeld DVDs to help pass the time on those long, apocalyptic nights. And lately survivalists are also recommending stashing huge quantities of Benadryl in order to deal with all the new allergic reactions that the end of the world is likely to precipitate. Clearly the last thing you want to be dealing with when reality as we know it comes crashing down is a runny nose.

"Meanwhile, there are many people who remain unaware that we may be getting this 2000-year grace period and thus may have quite a shock in store on Dec 22, 2012, the day after it is all supposed to come tumbling down. There's nothing worse than business as usual when you're expecting the end of the world. Can you imagine the sinking feeling some people will experience on that morning when it slowly begins to dawn on them that rather than toppling headlong into a worldwide collective existential abyss, they instead have to show up for work? It will be reminiscent of those early childhood days of waking to a beautiful, silent, freshly fallen snow, the heart leaping in a Christmas-morning-like rush of freedom and possibility, only to learn that the three-inch sprinkling of powder was insufficient to shut down the local schools.

"And just when you thought you'd be off the hook from all your financial obligations for the fourth fiscal quarter of 2012, instead you end up incurring a bunch of late fees because you had been hoping to slip into the End Times with a few unpaid bills. Rather than hearing the voices of angels guiding our souls to the next station on our way to oblivion, instead the phone is ringing off the hook with creditors who won't take no-or Armageddon-for an answer."

And you can read the rest here. Enjoy!

Debunking Millenial Fears; the Green Perspective

2008-07-23T02:21:00.000+03:00

Sorry for the absence (likely to continue due to needs of post-production on a short film) but I couldn't resist putting up the opening to an article which manages to combine two of this particular blog's likes in one: green topics + debunking the end of the world.

Entitled "The Apocalypse Makes Us Dumb" by WorldChanging's Alex Steffen, here are the first few 'graphs:

"In thinking seriously about the negative trends in our future, we're severely hampered by the Hollywood idea of the Apocalypse. That idea, in turn, has deep roots in the millenarianism of monotheistic religions (in which there is an End of Days and it's coming soon) and of 19th Century social movements (there is a Dictatorship of the Proletariat and it's coming soon). Millenarianism has its own problems, not least of which is that people do horrible things to others in the name of clearing the way for their chosen perfect future. But for our discussion here, let's just confine our understanding of the credo to what it has done to our conception of the future.

"Believing in a millennial future, or even frequently telling stories of such futures, blinds us both to what history teaches us about collapses and to what we know about our present moment. It makes us bad at thinking intelligently about the future.

"This is a topic that could use careful consideration from a number of angles, but I have about 30 minutes to write today, so instead let's just list some of the futurist fallacies we tend to embrace because (whether we're consciously aware of it or not), we're applying a millennial lens to the events unfolding around us.

"1) The Apocalypse is coming. There is a tendency to believe that big, catastrophic and singular events are going to come and destroy everything: that the Bird Flu or whatever is going to suddenly happen and immediately life will be hell. (The funniest example of this is climate change in The Day After Tomorrow, where sea level rise is so sudden that water rushes down the streets of New York in great rolling waves.)

"2) The Apocalypse is forever. In disaster movies and such, people seem to lack the ability to regroup and rebuild. Sometimes a hero will -- usually by killing a monster/ warlord/ robot/Tina Turner -- win the chance for one small group to start over, but the implication is usually that the rest of the planet's a write off for the imaginable future.

But naturally, you want to read the rest. Be my guest... click here.

Astrology: A Cosmic Operating System

2008-04-26T14:41:00.010+03:00

In my dealings with people, outside of those interactions that are truly prefunctory, somehow I find myself divulging that I am, among other things, a student of Astrology.

Usually, I lead up to such a 'confession' with a lengthy preamble, which touches on the idea of astrology as a cosmic 'operating system'. A sort of Windows or Linux for navigating the abstractions of our lives and, as such, while useful and dependable - limited inasmuch as the person using it - in this case, an astrologer - is limited with regards his/her personal intuition, experience and technical knowledge of Astrology.

Which is to say, I try to phase out the more woo-woo side of things vis-a-vis Astrology when talking to the sceptics - or even with those who are more open to the esoteric side of things.

Does that mean I am somewhat 'ashamed' of my interest in Astrology?

Not ashamed, certainly. But if I am honest, I must admit, at the very least, to being embarassed when talking of my interest (actually, my passion) for Astrology with the more materialist, mainstream Science-respecting folks - i.e. the Richard Dawkins brigade.

And it really bugs me when one of them interrupts me with: "Astrology? You mean Astronomy right?"

Naturally, there is nothing in and of itself 'wrong' with using Science as a first stop when it comes to interpreting the unknown or the hard-to-explain. In my opinion, though, there is much that Metaphysics - and Astrology in particular - can offer a marriage with Science. Perhaps I'm naive or misguided in this. Perhaps I haven't understood the strictures of the Scientific Method well enough and that is why I have fantasies of one day Science and Metaphysics coming together.

Then again, from what little I have understood of Quantum Physics, Chaos and String Theory and the like, it seems that, more than ever before, there is a growing awareness that at the peripheries of Science there are answers to be had for just-emerging questions from unexpected (or downright maligned) sources.

On a related note, one of the astrologers whose posts I read voraciously, Lynn Hayes, of the Astrodynamics blog, currently has a link to a fascinating article regarding how the finance world is discretely employing more and more astrologers in a bid to navigate these intensely unstable times.

Here is the beginning of the article:

Christeen Skinner blinks at the screen of her computer and takes another slurp of coffee. It’s half past seven in the morning and she’s preparing for a crucial meeting with the chief executive of the High and Mighty fashion chain.

Apart from the black cat dozing on her lap, the only clue to Christeen’s occupation as a 21st century astrologer is a copy of an Ephemeris that lies open at a page marked “Mercury March 25th”.

“The financial crisis has ensured that I’m busier than ever,” says Christeen. “People in the City need to know what is just around the corner. I can help with that.”

Christeen is one of a growing, albeit secretive, network of astrologers who work for seemingly conservative British institutions such as high street banks, City investment funds and retailers.

Desperate to avoid financial meltdown in the ongoing ‘credit crunch’ and to spot fashions and consumer trends before they start, these institutions have turned to the stars to divine the future.

“Most academics distrust astrology and regard it as mumbo-jumbo,” she says. “The thing is, it works. Nobody’s sure how it works but it does. Most of my clients are businesspeople who are very canny. If it didn’t work for them, then why would they use it?”

One of Christeen’s clients is Judith Levy, chief executive of the High and Mighty retail chain.

“I’m fairly pragmatic,” says Judith. “I will only spend money on an astrologer if the decision I have to take is very important - the kind of decision which will cost me a lot of money if I get it wrong.

“When we launched our Kayak brand a few years ago we used astrology to decide the launch date. Since then, it has gone from strength to strength. It’s one of our best selling brands.”

You can read the rest of the fascinating piece here.

The above image was taken from this site.

Complaining = Disempowerment

2008-04-25T19:21:00.008+03:00

Back again, dear readers. And I seem to have taken my sweet time about it. Strange, because I've had mad, hyperkinetic energy to burn of late.

I think I've been caught in the Virgo trap of not wanting to face up to a less-than-perfect body of postings due to the fact that my time and focus for anything non-short-film-related has been shrinking dramatically.

I've been painfully aware of how much could be commented on in this blog re. new memes on the Climate Change scene, my own continuing learning on the Astrology front, my progress in receiving the Munay-Ki rites (and consequent growing interest in all things shamanic)... so much that it has seemed way too much to post on. In other words, I've felt rather less-than-self-confident in terms of taking on the task than my Third House Scorpio Uranus might have had me be.

Still, if there's one thing I'm learning big-time from all the sessions with the shrink re. taking responsibility and choosing positive over negative thoughts, it's that if you choose to see yourself as overwhelmed, that's what you'll experience.

And following on from there... if you choose to complain - which I have done constantly about all the Difficult Stuff in my life in the past, and which I am trying to do less of today - then you voluntarily abrogate your power to fate. You disempower yourself. You stop being, as the shrink says, "the hero" in your life.

I'm working on being the hero more in my life. Like the shrink says, ultimate responsibility for everything that happens to me is mine and mine alone. But such responsibility need not be a byword for blame.

As you can see, changing mental patterns that have long been based on free-floating guilt, dependency, self-doubt and victimhood, are a lot of work to break.

But that sounds suspiciously like a complaint. So I'm going to finish this post right here.

The image above was taken from here.

The Agony and the Ecstasy

2008-03-18T01:33:00.009+02:00

So, following on from the earlier post, I thought I'd let those of you faithful readers who've been following the maudlin mimsy of this blog know that my 2012 terrors have subsided, somewhat.

Either I have successfully lured myself into a false sense of security, hoping pole shift and massive die-offs won't occur (despite the unavoidable earth changes we're already witnessing), or time and the work I've done with the shrink and by myself in combating negative thought patterns is helping.

Actually, for the benefit of other fainthearts out there, who may be overwhelmed by the thought of a cataclysm, I thought I might add some websites that address the topic of 2012 and the end of the Mayan long count that are more optimistic.

In general, there's a split between the agony and ecstasy folks regarding this date. So here, without further ado, are the 'ecstasy' leaning ones:

http://www.starchildglobal.com/

http://www.livinginjoy.com/

http://weinholds.org/2012_home.asp

http://www.calleman.com/

I'll let you know of any more good ones as time progresses.

Meanwhile, I don't know about you, but I have a lot of plans for my life - plans that involve a hell of a lot of other people, too. So there better bloody NOT be a pole shift in 2012, or any other time for that matter.

Besides which, I'm far too egotistical to face the fate worse than death of surviving such a scenario. I need people around to angst to.

The illustration was taken from here.

(Pole) Shifting Perspective

2008-03-18T01:20:00.005+02:00

Amazing what a little time makes to a person's outlook. I am happy to say, I have more or less moved beyond the 2012-pole-shift-mass-die-off terror. Those of my friends who weathered that crisis (due to my reading an apparently lucid esoteric site dedicated to surviving the event) may roll their eyes on reading this.

"I told you so," would not be remiss a response.

Which makes me wonder, why did I believe such predictions of catastrophe in the first place? My shrink tells me it's far easier to be swayed by the negative than the positive. Also, Mars had just opposed Pluto last fall when I stumbled on the contents of the site, and had entered my 11th house (hopes and dreams) heading towards not-so-mighty-mouse, chicken-hearted natal Saturn in Cancer.

A good combo for that classic "doomed" feeling; needless to say, the friendlies had a field day with that one.

Of course, there is still always the possibility that the 'ascension' of earth in 2011/12 may cause pole shift, in which case, most of us will perish. But I really can't be arsed to muster the appropriate terror. Besides which, doing so would make living in the present rather impossible.

The illustration was taken from here.

The Friendly Ones

2008-03-15T13:57:00.009+02:00

Hey people. I'm sorry I disappeared again. I could give you a lot of excuses - some of them legitimate, like evening classes three times a week and meetings for a play that eventually we couldn't get actors for (details in another post) - but mostly, it's due to a lapse in self-discipline.

So, there you go. For an unemployed bum, I can make the time, I just haven't wanted to. Why? Well, you could say I opted to spend the time entertaining the demons - I call them 'my friendlies' (distant cousins of 'the kindlies', which are too much the CEO types to commit to one individual alone), who really don't want to give up a partnership that has weathered so many dangerously happy times. Not to mention, they're very patient and single-minded. And they like to keep me in line.

Even if - O fickle Ninth! - I dally with those flirtatious positive thoughts and apply my will toward choosing a less guilt-ridden, passive outlook - they take me back, every time. They're really the most faithful of self-created entities I know.

Sure, immediately after I've been successfully rescued from those hussies of selfworth and joy and hope, they have to punish me a bit. You know, show me who's boss. But that's fair enough if you think about it, right? I mean, they're investing all this time and effort in this relationship, choosing me over so many others far more compliant than I and still I refuse to completely learn my lesson, toe the line and simply resign myself - and appreciate - what I already enjoy with them, my friendlies. They do so much for me. And to me. How could I even entertain thoughts of ever leaving?

Well, obviously I do. Because I pay good money to a shrink twice a week to help me burn my bridges with the friendlies. To take back my energy and power and self-love and strength and awareness.

As often as I get dragged back into this unhappy union with the friendlies, just as often will I try to break free.

And I'll tell you something the friendlies have tried to keep a secret, but that I am recently re-discovering: I deserve to be free. Ain't nothing worse about me, in essence, than any other living being. Sure, nothing and noone owe me happiness. And sure, I'm carrying my own karmic burden. And I screw up from time to time. But a lot of the time, I'm quite an okay human being.

Still, if you bump into the friendlies, you didn't hear any of that from me, ok?

The illustration is "The Furies" by Suza Scalora and may be found here.

The Niceman Cometh (Back)

2008-02-18T23:09:00.007+02:00

Hey guys, I'm back, as promised. Mercury finally went direct this eve, so I have no more excuse not to post. Plus, I missed my cyber audience way too much :)

So, what have I been up to? Lots of intense personal stuff. Sessions with the new shrink aren't particularly easy. Not exactly a cake walk. And that's mostly because my ego always manages to sneak into the time spent with shrink lady behind my back. Once comfortably seated, it sort of yawns, stretches once or twice, then lazily flicks its non-existent wrist to crank up the frustration as the shrink proceeds to yank my chain.

No allowances for oh-so-sad personal narratives and no letting me spin out the latest angst or tale of doom or fury or self-hatred.

Nah. Not allowed. Shrink lady is there to leap into the fray, shut down the ego's rants by asking pointed (in criminal procedure they're called 'leading') questions about whether said rants denoted positive or negative thinking.

It's infuriating because, obviously, she's leading the session and I'm paying good money for her time so I don't want to waste it by not playing ball. But my ego hates it. Hates, hates, hates it. Really wants to bash away at her or, at least, fight back, using what it likes to remind me is my Superior Intellect. Because really, if we had met at some casual get-together or drinks or whatnot, says my ego, I'd have been eagerly trading views with her on Stuff (stuff esoteric, stuff psychological, stuff anthropological, stuff astrological, stuff theological and so on and so forth, ad infinitum ab nauseam, world without end, amen). And I'd have given as good as I got.

Now just to be perfectly clear: the shrink is not a heavy. I know I've made her sound like John Rambo in a dress, but she ain't - though given the over-active imagination, I profusely wish I hadn't gone there.

She is a very well-educated, obviously intelligent, experienced, strong and (unbelievably annoyingly positive) a person.

She has clients scheduled back-to-back, so she's obviously very competent. And, like I say, I suspect we'd get on if she weren't my shrink. But she is, and my ego hates how it loses whether or not I listen to her. If I pay heed to what's being said, the ego's manipulations, its strategies to keep me a victim and its steady flow of sabotaging self-doubt and anxiety get 86'd. If it doesn't listen and goes mano-a-mano with la shrinque, using intellectual snobbery (or just plain arrogance along the lines of "heard this all before baby, ain't yuh got nuthin' noo?") I waste my time and money.

Did I mention my ego hates this process? It hates it.

Nevertheless, I believe ma psychologue is worth the time, endurance, patience and the moolah. I believe she will help me get out of the negative rut I struggle to leave daily.

When my hackles haven't been rising at soul doc's modus operandi, I've been taking Teaching English as a Foreign Language (TEFL - the British equivalent of TESOL) classes in the evenings, initiating production for a play end of May (more on that in future posts) and signing up to learn the Munay-Ki rites from a local healer/shaman.

In other words, there's been plenty to keep me busy. I even have a job to apply for tomorrow.

As for that upcoming full moon.... I'm hopin' the Virgo lunar eclipse on Wednesday won't rain too much on my parade - to mix my metaphors thoroughly. I'll keep all 'o yous in the loop.

The illustration was modified after being taken from this site.

Revisiting Solo, Or Freelancing the Mercury Rx in Aquarius Way...

2008-01-29T23:46:00.000+02:00

There may be hiatuses ahead, good people, during which I may not be able to post some days.

Fact is, Mercury is now retrograde in Aquarius (ie. in my sixth house of, among other things, mundane, busy work), so, despite the good intentions, things like the blog - to which I dutifully try to post each evening - may be put on the backburner in lieu of more merc-in-ret activities: namely reflection, inner 'communication', meditation and a review of projects of yore (memo to self: re-read background materials on a real-live mercurial shapeshifter of the early 20th century, in prep for a future feature script).

Rest assured, the posts will pick up in consistency once the communication deity turns direct. We're talkin' as of February 19.

Meanwhile, I leave you with an article from Mother Jones by Kiera Butler, whose point - that despite its much-touted flexibility and freedom, freelancing from home is ultimately a poor substitute for the needful social stimulation and interaction of the more traditional office environment - I have recently found to be true for me, despite my hitherto staunch conviction that I was happy being a lone wolf forever.

Butler's opening paragraphs for "Practical Values: Works Well With Others" read thusly:

Last October, Rep. Frank Wolf wrote the White House with a radical proposal to promote "environmental stewardship, family values and energy independence." In asking President Bush to designate a National Telework Week, the Virginia Republican evoked the promise of a nation without two-hour commutes, veal-pen cubicles, petty workplace politics, or disgusting communal coffeepots. "Wouldn't it be great," he wrote, "if we could replace the evening rush hour commute with time spent with the family, or coaching little league or other important quality of life matters?"

Yeah, that would be great. Trouble is, when your home is your office, the boundaries between work and personal time dissolve. Distractions (cable, fridge, couch) lurk everywhere. But the biggest problem is social: Without the companionship of office mates—even the Dwight Schrutes of the world—telecommuters and freelancers can feel unmotivated and lonely. Which may explain why the virtual office remains largely hype. The telecommuting lobby claims that 100 million Americans will work remotely by 2010. But in 2004, only 13.7 million did. Of those, only 2 million were working full-time from home.

As shocking as it may sound, we may actually need the office, despite its reputation as a soul-sucking pit of conformity and monotony. In a recent analysis of 40 years of research, Stephen Humphrey, a professor of management at Florida State University's business school, found a strong correlation between the level of social interaction at work and job satisfaction and productivity. He also found that this correlation has strengthened over time—that now more than ever, the office has become a refuge of sorts. "It used to be that everyone could hang out around the watercooler—now we telecommute or spend two hours in our cars on the way to work," he says. "We suddenly start to realize, we miss socializing—and we need it."

I found the article particularly salient given that, wirelessly providing amanuensis-like/communications-type work, is particularly mercurial, and having to rethink the merits of such seemingly liberating (but isolated) labour is very Mercury-retrograde-in-Aquarius.

Indeed, as you continue to read (click here for the rest of the article), the solution to the conundrum is nothing less than a revolutionary re-evaluation of the freelancing set-up, based on reclaiming the benefits of human/societal interaction, albeit in a non-traditional way.

As I say... very Mercury Rx in the sign of the Water Bearer!

The illustration depicts a bust of Mercury and is taken from this site.

Dies Irae

2008-01-28T22:35:00.000+02:00

SALIERI: Capisco! I know my fate. Now for the first time I feel my emptiness as Adam felt his nakedness ... [Slowly he rises to his feet.] Tonight at an inn somewhere in this city stands a giggling child who can put on paper, without actually setting down his billiard cue, casual notes which turn my most considered ones into lifeless scratches. Grazie, Signore! You gave me the desire to serve you - which most men do not have - then saw to it that the service was shameful in the ears of the server. Grazie! You gave me the desire to praise you - which most do not feel - then made me mute. Grazie tante! You put into me perception of the Incomparable - which most men never know! - then ensured that I would know myself forever mediocre. [His voice gains power.] Why? ... What is my fault? ... Until this day I have pursued virtue with vigour. I have labored long hours to serve my fellow men. I have worked and worked the talent you allowed me. [Calling up.] You know how hard I've worked! - solely that in the end, in the practice of the art which alone makes the world comprehensible to me, I might hear Your Voice! And now I do hear it - and it says only one name: MOZART! ... Spiteful, sniggering, conceited, infantine Mozart - who has never worked one minute to help another man! - shit-talking Mozart with his botty-smacking wife! - him you have chosen to be your sole conduct! And my only reward - my sublime privilege - is to be the sole man alive in this time who shall clearly recognize your Incarnation! [Savagely.] Grazie e grazie ancora! [Pause.] So be it! From this time we enemies, You and I! I'll not accept it from You - Do you hear? ... They say that God is not mocked, I tell you Man is not mocked! I am not mocked! ... They say the spirit bloweth where it listeth: I tell you NO! It must list to virtue, or not blow at all! [Yelling.] Dio Ingiusto! - You are the Enemy! I name Thee now - Nemico Eterno! And this I swear. To my last breath I shall block you on earth, as far as I am able! [He glares up at God. To the audience.] What use, after all, is man, if not to teach God His lessons?

From Peter Shaffer's Amadeus

Illustration taken from a poster for 30 Days of Night owned by Columbia pictures.

"And Cut..."

2008-01-27T00:34:00.000+02:00

To his Leading Lady

I may not be much to look at,
at the trendier cocktail parties,
since wit is still no match for what,
despite political correctness.

But once you choose to speak
my lines, to occupy my frame,
you are intellectual property. Each
take is subject solely to my whim.

I cast you, wooed you, would you
move a little further to the left?
That’s nice, and now - repeat.
The lens records, adjust your feet.

How does it feel to know you’re played?

When this is done, and we part ways
if we should meet at yet more soulless
dos, ignore, embrace, gush, praise
or damn me to my face or others’,

we both know how you obeyed
my orders, let me tune you, put
your secrets on display. Laid
open, you were treasured

only inasmuch as your poor
beauty fleshed my dream.

Illustration by Tanner Morrow and can be found here.

Doom-mongering, Eco-optimism and Green Cities

2008-01-26T01:22:00.000+02:00

A very interesting debate is shaping up on green and eco-blogs in that warnings of woe and disaster are actually a huge disincentive when it comes to mobilising people to embracing sustainable and environmentally-conscious living.

What is it in the human pyche that is so drawn to the thought of its own doom, yet somehow thrives far better on the hope it so easily dismisses in favour of fear?

I know that I, personally, am functioning a lot better now that I am getting better acquainted with the burdgeoning clean technologies out there, and the willingness of so many different kinds of people to voluntarily re-structure their lives, their hopes for the future and their day-to-day needs to acknowledge the vital interdependence of everything and live more lightly on the earth.

Indeed, optimism and a willingness to see oneself connected to everything - in contrast to surrendering our privileges as part of confronting the exigencies of global warming and climate change - makes for a much more palatable combination, and is, thus, ultimately more of a motivation toward eco-positive living.

Speaking of interdependence, many of the posts at the WorldChanging site are dedicated to green cities and how living in community is better for us and for the environment.

You can't get much better than the unrelentingly thorough analysis entitled, "My Other Car is a Bright Green City," by Alex Steffen, which posits the following, amid weighing up the impact of suburban individualism, mobility and inefficient land use:

"I think whether or not green cars arrive, building bright green cities is a winning strategy: if the cars don't arrive, land-use change is clearly needed to save our bacon; if they do arrive, they might well fit quite nicely into the new fabric of sustainable urban life, and we're all better off for it -- the air's that much cleaner, the grid that much smarter, our economic advantage in clean technology that much greater.

"Most arguments against land-use change presume that building compact communities is a trade-off; that investing in getting walkable, denser neighborhoods, we lose some or a lot of our affluence or quality of life. What if that's not true, though? What if the gains actually far outweigh the costs not only in ecological and fiscal terms, but in lifestyle and prosperity terms as well? I think that's the case.

"I believe that green compact communities, smaller well-built homes, walkable streets and smart infrastructure can actually offer a far better quality of life than living in McMansion hintersprawl in purely material terms: more comfort, more security, more true prosperity. But even more to the point, I believe they offer all sorts of non-materialistic but extremely real benefits that suburbs cannot. Opponents of smart growth talk about sacrificing our way of life -- but it's not a sacrifice if what you get in exchange is superior."

I happen to agree, but then, I would, since I am definitely a city person, despite my love of nature - and I dream of a future in which urban communities are not merely better integrated with their surrounding environment and ecosystems, but which also change our collective way of thinking about life. Towns and cities, in other words, in which the natural world isn't kept at bay, in which people walk, cycle or take public transport from place to place and where neighbours know and look out for each other.

In addition, I dream of an urban simplicity that does not sacrifice technological advances - something Steffen mentions when he says:

Wired urban living might very well soon evolve into a series of systems for letting us live affluent, convenient lives without actually owning a lot of things. If cities are engines for creating social connections, walkshed technologies might be said to make those connections into tools for trumping the hassle of owning stuff with the pleasure of using stuff to get the vivid experiences and deep relationships we crave. If that happens, we'll have a major leverage point to work with.

You can read the rest of Steffen's intriguing analysis here.

Solar Solutions, Green Collars and Eco-(Un)Friendly Takeaways

2008-01-24T23:34:00.000+02:00

Time for some green stuff, to satisfy the eco-concerned out theah - which includes me, good people - so I figured I'd do an extra-verdant melange of emerald bits n' pieces tonight.

Being resident again in Cyprus, the island of my birth, after many years abroad, it is a joy to take for granted the abundance of sunshine, light and heat during most of the year (though, right now, we're in the midst of severe drought, so as much as I am a Sol-worshipper, I dread the consequences of our near-bone-dry reservoirs and dams). However, what would please me even more would be even greater investment in solar energy technology on the island.

If we could use solar power for (unfortunately vital) desalination of water, it would add to be a considerable energy saving, not to mention, ultimately cheaper for the tax-payer, since Cyprus has no oil or gas reserves of its own, and must ship them in - a process, in itself, that pollutes the environment, to say nothing of the CO2 emission from the vast amount of power required for the desalination process.

In the US, one individual who is really pushing solar solutions - not merely to promote environmental responsibility in light of global warming, but also to boost inner cities' standard of living and create jobs in "green construction and alternative energy" - is Yale-educated lawyer Van Jones, the Oakland, CA-based human-rights activist.

Byran Walsh's TIME magazine article entitled "Bring Eco-Power to the People" has this to say of Jones:

You couldn't create a better advocate for the green-collar movement than Jones. A Yale-educated lawyer who founded the Ella Baker Center for Human Rights in Oakland, the magnetic Jones moves easily between worlds, at home preaching to inner-city high school students or mixing with Silicon Valley entrepreneurs. But everywhere Jones goes, he repeats a simple message. "Give the work that most needs to be done to the people who most need the work," he says, and solve two pressing problems--pollution and poverty--at once.

For the environmental movement, embracing Jones' message means recasting global warming not just as an existential threat but as an enormous economic opportunity. It's a narrative that is particularly resonant with low-income workers who are likely to bear the short-term economic burden of cutting carbon only if they believe there will be a personal payoff for them in the long run. Says Jones: "They need to see green in their pockets."

The rest of the article can be read: here.

On a related note (well, 'related' in the sense that it's another area in which to heed the need for green) just how environmentally sound can we grade our takeout or takeaway receptacles as being?

Elizabeth Gillian, writing for chow.com broaches the topic thusly:

Your food can’t go everywhere exposed to the elements; it needs packaging. Unfortunately, that packaging often takes massive amounts of energy to create, and much of it doesn’t properly decompose. We’ve rated some common carriers on a scale from 1 (bad) to 5 (good).

The usual suspects follow with their pros and cons re. eco-friendliness, with some (styrofoam) being predictably on the more culpable or virtuous (edible containers made from food) end of the scale, while others (aluminium foil) falling surprisingly somewhere in the middle.

For those of us who, for a range of reasons, consider dinner (or lunch - or even breakfast) prep to be speed-dialing the nearest Thai place for some green chicken curry delivery, the green-or-not low-down on transporting eats to your home in all its depressing glory can be found here.

Farewell Heath Ledger

2008-01-23T00:58:00.000+02:00

UPDATE: Lynn Hayes of the Astrodynamics blog now has an insightful delineation of the ill-fated Ledger's birthchart, putting his passing into clearer perspective. I was not surprised that the short-lived Aries Sun had many Pisces planets and the Moon in Cancer. Such sensitivity allowed him that magical quality to slip, chameleon-like into his more recent, dark, troubled roles, including a tormented gay cowboy in Brokeback Mountain, a charismatic junkie in Candy and a psychotic trickster in Dark Knight. Marvellously equipped to 'disappear', he was, alas, unable to allow the power of his Aries Sun (in the first house, no less) to combat the 'self-undoing' that is also the hallmark of otherworldy Pisces.

I was dismayed to hear that Heath Ledger, the highly talented screen actor, was found dead this afternoon in a Manhattan apartment. While speculation about cause of death had initially brought up the possibility of suicide, it is now believed Ledger died of a drug overdose. He was 28, and had one daughter with former partner, actress Michelle Williams.

Despite his pretty-boy good looks, Ledger was a charismatic and highly-gifted actor, and I am very sorry I shall never see what would undoubtedly have been even more golden acting in the years to come. I always thought the best actor Oscar would have eventually been his - it was only a matter of time. In my mind, he will always be the soulful, tormented cowboy from Brokeback Mountain.

You can read more about this sad event here.

Noting his age, though not knowing his birth details, I wonder how close transiting Saturn in Virgo was to conjuncting his natal Saturn - Ledger, at 28, being in the midst of the infamous Saturn return. Additionally, given that drugs are the believed cause of death, I also ponder what transiting Neptune (notoriously linked to all matter of mind-altering substances, imagination, self-undoing, illusion, and transcendence) was doing at the time of the actor's passing.

Actually, Lynn Hayes of the Astrodynamics blog today had this to say (albeit in a post unrelated to Ledger's passing):

"Today we have Mercury conjunct Neptune in Aquarius, where our most visionary (Aquarian) ideas can become fuzzy and incomplete under the thumb of Neptune. Neptune can erode our confidence, or it can entice us into a dreamland of imagination and creativity."

No doubt the astrological community will come up with some very illuminating posts soon enough.

On Death, Dying and the Way of the Shaman

2008-01-22T16:05:00.000+02:00

One of the things that obsesses me is death and dying. Even as a child, while I was very aware of the liminal realm, it wasn't the thought of a spirit world as much as the process of dying that gripped my imagination.

In the West, we know so much about keeping the body alive with our various medicines and surgical advances, but how many of our physicians can truly partner those of their patients who are beyond their pills and scalpels?

Indeed, how many Western doctors - other than the rare few who are born with an intuition and sensitivity that mainstream medical schools seem unable to teach - can actually offer practical aid and ministering to the dying?

For the most part, in the developed world, this realm of life (and yes, dying is a part of life) is still the quaint domain of priests who, incredibly, in our overly-sceptical (and spiritually ravenous) age, still have their (ever-diminishing) niche in officiating over those human milestones that modern society has not fully managed to wrest from the numinous.

But even our priests in Western monotheist traditions, with their dualistic view of the Good-versus-Evil universe, can only offer so much comfort.

It is to the East that one must turn if one is particularly 'called' to investigate practices that embrace the dying process and offer guidance to the soon-to-be-disembodied soul.

Imagine if we were taught such vital knowledge (and I know the scientifically-inclined among you will cringe at my use of 'knowledge' in this context) at school. How much more precious would our lives be?

Naturally, materialists will argue that holding death to be the 'Great End' itself bestows on life a preciousness and reverence. In other words, the thought that we only get one shot is precisely what helps us live richly and fully.

To them, I say: have you taken a look lately at the world we live in?

The fact is, we are petrified, paralysed and rendered impotent in the materialist West by the notion of death. And yes, while there are stories of grateful cancer survivors who live richly post-treatment, as if 'every day were their last', there are overwhelmingly more stories of people's lives that are ruined or lived out-of-control in the desperate attempt to stave off the physical end by acquiring more, experiencing more, attaining more - simply because, this life is all you get folks. And when it's over, it's over.

According to American Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron in When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, our deepest-rooted mara (loosely translated to "familiar ways in which we try to avoid what is happening") is Yama Mara or "fear of death".

And our collective neurosis in the West, it seems to me, bears staggering testimony to this primal terror. Why else would the hysterical allure of apocalypse return and return to our developed world narrative every decade or so? Why would the 2012 prophecies of planetary doom and species-death wield such power in the face of climate catastrophe?

If we were taught a way of our sacred connection to life and how we continue - not merely in a spiritual, transcendent sense, but also in the plants and animals and seasons around us - how much fear we could dispel. What a dawning of a new understanding there might be. And what a peace and love and fellowship with life could be ours.

Lately, I have been more and more drawn to the energy work of the Mesoamerican shamans, particularly as I am reading the fascinating Shaman, Healer, Sage: How to Heal Yourself and Others with the Energy Medicine of the Americas by Antonio Villoldo (the Amazon link is here).
On journeying to "the roots of the Inka civilisation", Villoldo's website notes that:

"What I [Villoldo] discovered was a set of sacred technologies that transform the body, heal the soul, and can change the way we live and the way we die. They explain that we are surrounded by a Luminous Energy Field (LEF) whose source is located in infinity. The LEF was a matrix that maintains the health and vibrancy of the physical body.

"Today, I have come to understand that the experience of infinity can heal and transform us, and that it can free us from the temporal chains that keep us fettered to illness, old age, and disease. Over the course of two decades with the shamans in the jungles and high mountains of the Andes, I would discover that I am more than flesh and bone, that I am fashioned of Spirit and light. This understanding reverberated through every cell in my body. I am convinced that is has changed the way I heal, the way I age, and the way I will die. The experience of infinity is at the core of the Illumination Process, the essential healing practice we teach in the Healing the Light Body School."

Also at the same site, which describes in much detail the training offered by Villoldo's shaman training curriculum, there is the following about the dying process:

"Life ends with the last breath, just as it begins with the first.

"As the physical body returns to the Earth, the soul prepares for its great journey home. When the brain shuts down, the electromagnetic field created by the central nervous system dissolves, and the Luminous Energy Field disengages from its former home. As this happens, the Luminous Energy Field grows into a translucent, egg-shaped torus that contains the other seven chakras, which continue to shimmer like points of light for the first few hours after death. If all proceeds smoothly, this luminous orb, which is the essence or soul of the individual, then travels through the axis of the luminous body, to become one with Spirit again. This occurs very quickly once the Luminous Energy Field is free from the body. The torus of the Luminous Energy Field squeezes through the portal created by its central axis, like a doughnut squeezing through its own whole.

"When a dying person retains his awareness after death, he enters the light easily. My mentor compared this light to the dawn breaking on a cloudless morning, a state of primordial purity – immense and vast, defying description. The blackness of death, caused by the collapse of the senses, recedes and is dispelled by the light of Spirit.

"My mentor prepared all of his life for this journey. Shortly before he died, he explained to me how the steps of the journey were different for him as a shaman that for someone who was unprepared to meet his death. He fully expected to attain the freedom that is possible at the instant of death, during the dawning of the light of Spirit. At that moment, he explained, you perceive the dawn as if from the top of the world itself. You are taller than the highest mountains. Not only is the breaking dawn occurring outside you, but you simultaneously feel the sun rising in your belly and all of Creation stirring within you. You recognize that you are one with the dawning light. You surrender to the luminosity around you, are enfolded by it, and become one with it. During this stage you encounter luminous beings, medicine people who assist you in surrendering to the light. Inka legends say that we are all star travelers, and at this point in the dying process we can re-embark on our great journey through the Milky Way."

If you would like to read further about the process of dying, the full post can be found here.

Another great book on this topic, is The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Tibetan lama Sogyal Rinpoche. It's a little weightier and dense than Villoldo's book - and is more like a guide for Westerners of the principles laid out in the Tibetan Buddhist classic The Tibetan Book of the Dead - but still written with immense wisdom, compassion and humour.

Putting Money Where The (Hungriest) Mouth Is, Or How Athens Is Feeding Her Poorest

2008-01-22T00:37:00.000+02:00

I am happy to be able to post some very good news today from Greece, which actually cheered me up immensely: basically, a scheme has been initiated enabling the poorest in Athens to be able to shop for the necessities of life - all for free!

I actually heard about it on the BBC news this afternoon, but am happy to post the opening to an online story "No cash, no cards? No problem" on the subject by Kathy Tzilivakis for the Athens News:

At first glance it looks like any other supermarket. Housewives, senior citizens and couples with young children busily browse aisles stacked high with brand-name products, filling their shopping carts with cornflakes, fresh milk, eggs, canned foods, frozen vegetables, soft drinks, diapers, shampoo and cleaning supplies.

But look closer, and you'll spot the difference.

There are no cash registers. Not even a debit card machine. In fact, all money transactions are prohibited.

"You can't buy anything here with money," said the store manager, Panos Lendaris. "We're not allowed to take any money."

Thanks to a joint corporate social responsibility venture between Europe's largest retailer, Carrefour, and the municipality of Athens, some 200 jobless and working poor in Athens are now doing their weekly grocery shopping for free at the new Sofokleos St supermarket. The products lining the shelves are surplus stock that have been provided free of charge to Carrefour from its suppliers.

"Caring for those people who are deprived of even the basic necessities of life is a central pylon at the municipality," said Athens Mayor Nikitas Kaklamanis. "The creation of this new grocery store is evidence of the benefits that can arise when local government cooperates with the private sector and when the guiding principle is social welfare and progress."

The 200 recipients are entitled to shop for between 100 and 350 euros' worth of products at the Sofokleos St supermarket every month. The amount, which has been set by the municipality's social welfare office, depends on the recipient's financial situation. Low-income families with three or more children, for example, are entitled to spend the maximum 350 euros each month.

You can read the rest of this heartening - yes, heartening, you read that right! - news story here.

Peripatetic Pix

2008-01-20T17:40:00.001+02:00

Valediction Forbidding Mourning

2008-01-19T23:05:00.000+02:00

"Fare you well, people of Orphalese. This day has ended. It is closing upon us even as the water-lily upon its own tomorrow. What was given us here we shall keep, and if it suffices not, then again must we come together and together stretch our hands out to the giver. Forget not that I shall come back to you. A little while, and my longing shall gather dust and foam for another body. A little while, a moment of rest upon the wind, and another woman shall bear me. Farewell to you and the youth I have spent with you. It was but yesterday we met in a dream. You have sung to me in my aloneness, and I of your longings have built a tower in the sky. But now our sleep has fled and our dream is over, and it is no longer dawn. The noontide is upon us and our half waking has turned to fuller day, and we must part. If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you will sing to me a deeper song. And if our hands should meet in another dream, we shall build another tower in the sky.

"So saying he made a signal to the seamen, and straightaway they weighed anchor and cast the ship loose from its moorings, and they moved eastward. And a cry came from the people as from a single heart, and it rose into the dusk and was carried out over the sea like a great trumpeting. Only Almitra was silent, gazing after the ship until it had vanished into the mist. And when all the people were dispersed she still stood alone upon the sea-wall, remembering in her heart his saying: 'A little while, a moment of rest upon the wind, and another woman shall bear me.'"

From The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

Welcome to the Dungeon, We've Thrown Away the Key. Natal T-Square of Saturn, Venus, Pluto

2008-01-19T00:40:00.000+02:00

Occasionally, when the fear zombies strike, their fetid phantom breath filling the air and their invisible talons opening up wounds that only mostly heal, I get to thinking about my natal Cardinal T-square: Saturn in Cancer squaring an opposition of Venus in Aries and Pluto in Libra.

Can't say I'm overjoyed at this combo, but I've done enough reading on metaphysical topics to be open to the idea that I chose to incarnate with the potential this particular T-square symbolises.

So, just what does it indicate amid the unique cocktail of energies that help make me, me?

At the 'low vibrating' or 'negative' side of the scale, it can mean intense fear. Fear, fear, fear, and more fear. Obsessive, unshakeable, overpowering fear. Particularly as the intense passion-annihiliation-resurrection implied by the Pluto-Venus stand-off gets that extra edge of paranoia from boundary-lovin' Saturn's unhappy location in the sign of moody moon-child Cancer.

Basically, relationships are life and death to me - especially with a Seventh House Pisces Sun. I'm set up to 'merge' with a significant other - and such opportunities have indeed always been pretty all-or-nothing in their manifestation.

Also, as a card-carrying member of the Pluto in Libra generation, relationships are the realm of life where the deepest spiritual transformations are going to be taking place for me in this incarnation.

So, intimacy and relationships was always going to be somewhat chthonic in kind.

Now, when you factor in an opposition by Libra Pluto to passionate, me-centered Venus in Aries, things start to get very interesting. An obsessive need for the beloved manifests. One's own self-worth and confidence become as nothing in the face of hanging on to the (often provocative, inevitably Plutonian) beloved and avoiding rejection. One's desire for happiness and love regresses into a crude need to emotionally (and psychically) 'survive', being dependent on the good will (or lack thereof), attention and devotion of the love object. And without fail, my deepest love relationships have always had this dynamic at work.

And when you bring in a needy, dependent, security-driven Cancer Saturn to square Aries Venus (further undermining self-confidence and amplifying vulnerability), also forming the same difficult 90-degree-aspect to Libra Pluto (creating a near-pathological terror of letting go or undergoing change in the area of relationships), you end up with an individual who often self-sabotages or short-circuits, falling short of harnessing the mighty, initiating Cardinal power promised by this particular planetary trio.

What I am working on now - and I'd imagine it's to be a lifelong work in progress - is confronting that self-destructive dependency and insecurity by investing in self-mastery. Confronting the things that scare me to death while trying to do things that nurture my soul.

Perhaps if I, or, as is more likely, my beloved could "plutonify" (in the words of astrologer Steven Forrest) my natal Venus, then doing so might trigger "the emergence of unconscious or wounded material connected with [in this case, Venus], challenging it to grow and to implement the soul's healing intentions."

In other words, if I am open to the process, those sharing my inner-most thoughts and feelings could move me to burn up all the manipulativeness, self-destructiveness and lack of self-love that I express or experience, thereby transforming my relations with others and, more importantly, myself, into something harmonious, beautiful, transcendent.

Even more importantly, if I could overcome the need to be a timid, inept and incompetent child (Cancer Saturn squaring Aries Venus) and face head-on my feelings of despair and helplessness in the view of what seems to be the neverending threat of traumatic change (Cancer Saturn squaring Libra Pluto) I could put all of that initiating Cardinal energy into refining my interactions with family, friends and wider society (Cancer Saturn in the Eleventh), my values, relationships and reasoning (Libra Pluto in the Second) and other people's creative resources of material, spiritual or psychic kind (Aries Venus in the Eighth).

Interestingly enough, my beloved one's (Libra) Sun-Pluto conjunction falls exactly on the Lord of Death's position in my own natal chart, while also opposing my birth Venus.

In other words, the two of us have the potential either to become catalysts for initiating a new level of emotional and spiritual self-awareness both in each other and ourselves, or to end up embodying the very real, very deep-rooted fears of rejection, trauma and abandonment that haunt us both.

Apocalypse Now. Definitely Maybe.

2008-01-18T03:28:00.000+02:00

"The promise of a recovery of a long-lost Golden Age reverberates through countless myths. The heart-chord it strikes has inspired visionaries and idealists from time immemorial. As well, it fuels a healthy discontent – the flip side of modern anxiety – that refuses to believe that this is the best we can do. It is an indignation, a muted outrage that can be allayed temporarily by comforts and luxuries, that can be subdued, temporarily, by survival anxiety, that is always strongest in the young, and that lies latent in all of us, ever-ready to be roused into a crusading idealism, though often coopted toward the perpetuation of the very conditions that give it rise. It is my purpose, dear reader, to give voice to your indignation and to reaffirm your intuitive knowledge that life is meant to be more."

From "Waiting for the Big One" by Charles Eisenstein, Reality Sandwich

Continuing from yesterday's post, I simply had to draw attention to another really great pick from the web magazine Reality Sandwich, which puts the current spike in 2012 and apocalyptic fervor into perspective.

I'd like to say Eisenstein offers good news. But he doesn't. At least, not exactly. What he offers is hope and a certain 'realistic' or 'grounded' line of approach to what he believes is the inevitable: the breakdown of life as we know it. Which would be pretty darn depressing if he didn't also add the following:

"Today we already can catch a glimpse of the technologies-social forms as well as paradigms of material production-of a future in love with life, which encompasses the love of being alive as well as the love of living beings. They are the technologies of sun, soil, and water, of bioenergy and rhythm, light and sound, word and touch, mind and dreaming, matter and information. All of them arise from and embody a different understanding of self and world. Just as present-day social forms and technologies both spring from and reinforce separation, 21st century technology will be both a cause and an effect of separation's reversal-a very different understanding of the universe articulated on every level from psychology to cosmology. As our crises intensify we will be faced with new choices and new possibilities. Let us recognize the full ramifications and full power of the choices that will soon open up to us."

You can read the full article here.

Oh, and on a not-so-very-related note (my Aquarius Mercury and Mars apologise), earlier this evening I learned (via the excellent NorthNodeastrology blog - checkitout) of a good place to go if you want to do something about the apalling suffering of women in sexual violence-ridden Congo. You know exactly the sort of despicable and cruel acts I mean - rape, mutilation and murder. In light of this ongoing barbarity, please consider going to Women for Women International, which is an organization committed to providing "financial and emotional" support to women "on the margins of hope", either to make a donation or sponsor an individual rape victim directly.

2012 Revisited - Lucidity in the Midst of Apocalyptic Hysteria

2008-01-17T01:01:00.000+02:00

I hadn't realised before I started this blog - a big reason for which was to manage my own raw fear ignited by talk of cataclysms, pole shifts and the prophecies marking December 21, 2012 as doomsday - the sheer number of sites dedicated to the end of the Mayan Long Count - over 3,000,000 according to one account.

When the site author isn't adding his or her two cents about the apocalyptic origin of the date, its range of possibly interpretations, the likelihood of the actual end of the world occuring on December 21, 2012, the pedigree of the sources that would have us believe or disbelieve such information, and whether or not to head for higher ground, s/he is speculating if any of us will survive whatever is to come, cataclysm or ascension or both.

Since many of you seem to have stumbled on my own humble post on this subject, I thought it might be a good idea to share a more heartening and down-to-earth discussion of the Winter Solstice of 2012 that I found at the amazing web magazine Reality Sandwich - whose content runs "the gamut from sustainability to shamanism, alternate realities to alternative energy, remixing media to re-imagining community, holistic healing techniques to the promise and perils of new technologies"

In the post in question entitled: "2012 and the Annoying Persistence of Time", Richard Smoley offers a great background to the emergence of 2012 as the apocalyptic date du jour, pointing out that:

"Presently the date of choice is 2012. The concept of 2012 as a crux in human history owes its popularity to José Argüelles. He is best-known as the chief herald of the Harmonic Convergence of 1987, an event in which millions of people received or attempted to receive galactic energies that, Argüelles contended, were streaming to the earth and awakening a higher consciousness. But 1987 was only a prelude, said Arguëlles. The key date is 2012 – specifically December 21, 2012, the end of the Mayan Long Count. According to John Major Jenkins, author of Mayan Cosmogenesis 2012, the Mayan calendar, with its numerous and almost incomprehensible reckonings of cycles within cycles (including a "Long Count" spanning 1,872,000 days or some 5,129 years), points to a key juncture: the time when the point of the December solstice aligns precisely with the center of the galaxy. Another figure who pointed to 2012 (for quite different reasons) was the late psychedelic guru Terence McKenna. (For more details on these predictions, keep an eye out for my article on 2012, to appear in the March-April issue of New Dawn magazine.)

"What is going to happen in 2012? Since these prophecies are not Christian, there is no talk of the Lord's return. One view is that there will be a mass awakening of consciousness that will take humanity to a new level. One researcher into things Mayan, Carl Johann Calleman, author of The Mayan Calendar and the Transformation of Consciousness (who, for various reasons, puts the date a year earlier, in 2011), contends, "It will simply not be possible not to be enlightened after October 28, 2011, or at least from a certain time afterward when the new reality has definitely manifested." Others hint that the actual fabric of time will mutate into a newer, higher, 2.0 version of itself.

"What is one to say to this? As we've seen, predictions of the end of time are practically as consistent and reliable as the calendar. And yet if science is any remotely plausible guide to the truth, the universe has been chugging along for some 13 billion years and does not show any immediate indication of changing its tune. It's true that philosophers sometimes point out the problems of reasoning about the future on the basis of the past. As Bertrand Russell wrote, "the man who has fed the chicken every day throughout its life at last wrings its neck instead, showing that more refined views as to the uniformity of nature would have been useful to the chicken." Even so, philosophers, like the rest of us, usually seem to act on the premise that tomorrow will come just as today has.

"The usual riposte to these objections is that we are living in unique times, that the pressures and challenges that humanity faces are unlike those human beings have ever had to face. So they are. But so they are for every generation. Every generation faces new challenges and pressures. Every age believes it is a new age, and every age is right."

But what I found even more interesting was Smoley's later comment to some of the reader responses his piece elicted that:

"I don't think that you can argue BOTH that the times require urgent and immediate practical solutions AND that we will be saved from ourselves by a mass awakening of consciousness that will happen in 2012. If the latter is true, why bother to do anything now? After all, if we all become enlightened in 2012, everything will become much clearer and the solutions can all be worked out in a jiffy. My own perspective is that the issues of the current moment--violence, discord, environmental stress--are serious and deserve serious, practical solutions. I don't think we can afford to wait or hope for a mass shift in consciousness that may or may not come. Nor, for that matter, may a mass shift of consciousness be necessary."

You can read the original post in full, here.

In the meantime, the best advice most of those writing about 2012 seem to offer is to "be the change".

In other words: to open our hearts, practise generosity, lovingkindness and gratitude. And to turn away from our hitherto rebellious state of individualism and embrace a global maturity, developing the ability to think beyond our immediate self-interest.

Consciousness, Metaphysics, Science and the (Shhh) Possible Overlap

2008-01-15T17:58:00.000+02:00

"There are certain pillars which have been established as the unshakeable supports of the Faith of God. The mightiest of these is learning and the use of the mind, the expansion of consciousness, and insight into the realities of the universe and the hidden mysteries of Almighty God. To promote knowledge is thus an inescapable duty imposed on every one of the friends of God."

Taken from: Selections from the Writings of`Abdu'l-Bahá (more can be found on this topic here).

It's interesting that in the perceived 'clash' between religion and science, we've heard far more reasoned, eloquent arguments regarding how the former should engage with and be regulated by the latter than truly convincing arguments to the contrary.

In our day and age, it is easy to disparage anything faith-based or esoteric, and yet we are, progressively, hearing about the 'grey' areas at the periphery of scientific investigation, which have brought up paradoxes surprisingly better explained by a more numinous or 'spiritual' or estoric approach than a materialist one.

Forefront in the geography of such grey and enigmatic areas is the realm of physics, chaos theory, quantum mechanics, cosmology.

A highly intriguing article along this vein appeared in The New York Times today under the headline: Big Brain Theory: Have Cosmologists Lost Theirs? by Dennis Overbye, in which the opening paragraphs run thus:

"It could be the weirdest and most embarrassing prediction in the history of cosmology, if not science.

"If true, it would mean that you yourself reading this article are more likely to be some momentary fluctuation in a field of matter and energy out in space than a person with a real past born through billions of years of evolution in an orderly star-spangled cosmos. Your memories and the world you think you see around you are illusions.

"This bizarre picture is the outcome of a recent series of calculations that take some of the bedrock theories and discoveries of modern cosmology to the limit. Nobody in the field believes that this is the way things really work, however. And so there in the last couple of years there has been a growing stream of debate and dueling papers, replete with references to such esoteric subjects as reincarnation, multiple universes and even the death of spacetime, as cosmologists try to square the predictions of their cherished theories with their convictions that we and the universe are real. The basic problem is that across the eons of time, the standard theories suggest, the universe can recur over and over again in an endless cycle of big bangs, but it’s hard for nature to make a whole universe. It’s much easier to make fragments of one, like planets, yourself maybe in a spacesuit or even — in the most absurd and troubling example — a naked brain floating in space. Nature tends to do what is easiest, from the standpoint of energy and probability. And so these fragments — in particular the brains — would appear far more frequently than real full-fledged universes, or than us. Or they might be us."

The rest of the article is a must for those, like myself, intrigued by how our material and esoteric understanding is, as I believe, inexorably heading to overlap.

And isn't it interesting that "the death of space-time" shows up in a mainstream newspaper when the New Age community has been abuzz with expectations of an end to 'linear time' and a multidimensional consciousness as we count down to December 21, 2012?

Disturbia and My Dream of America

2008-01-15T00:07:00.000+02:00

I have just seen D. J. Caruso's Disturbia (2007), the teen version of Rear Window with Shia LaBeouf, Carrie-Anne Moss and David Morse. It was very entertaining. But Alfred Hitchcock it ain't.

However, the script was funny, tight in structure (as in, well-written for the teen-thriller genre) and boasted a genuinely interesting, intelligent lead (LaBeouf). More importantly, it painted a picture of an American adolescent's life that brought back my own dream of America, and why I had been so eager to find a way there on graduating from a British uni, back in 1997.

Before the smart-asses who've seen the film say: "you mean you dreamed of finding suburban angst, teen boredom and crime?"

No. And I hate the thought of living in the suburbs.

But I did dream of finding a life full of daring, independence, plenty, creativity and self-invention. And yes, a beautiful-limbed American girlfriend.

And to a large extent, I was not disappointed with what I encountered as a post-graduate student in the States, though all experiences, good or bad, did come at a price.

To gain independence in America, there were so often times I had to go beyond the limits of my comfort zone - and not just in my school work.

I tried to be a gentleman scholar - cramming in as many extra-curricular pursuits (namely singing and acting), sports (weight-training, running, fencing) as I could, as well as giving time to my studies.

But I also had to adapt to a car culture when I didn't have a vehicle, and where everything you needed was somewhere down the neverending highway. I had to learn the self-sufficiency borne of being without a family network to look to for guidance or support. I had to adjust to living in a country with extreme weather and vast distances.

I had to experience love and heartbreak.

The plenty, creativity and self-invention were also challenging to aspire to. My area of specialisation was film directing, and noone at film school ever factored in artistic insecurities in giving feedback. New York City was full of actors who expected professionalism from the get-go, even on student projects. I had to find the courage to direct people I hadn't ever met before under the extremely intense conditions of no-budget independent filmmaking. And finding my own niche in the popculturally-savvy, jaded, but opinionated city of Gotham was tricky, too.

All of this wasn't a big deal, it was just life, lots of it, and a pretty good deal, in my opinion, for a sheltered denizen of Cyprus, not to mention, liberating and confidence-building to boot.

Today, having been in Cyprus since 2006, the contrasts between Nicosia and New York have been pretty glaring, and I've had to look at America from a very different, less laudatory perspective.

The USA is still a country that draws me - and there's a deep calling to return to my beloved Manhattan - but now I wonder whether I would see only the wastefulness in the culture where I once saw plenty; whether I would see arrogance and greed where I once saw self-confidence, motivation and initiative; whether I would see provincialism, ignorance and dysfunction where I once saw freedom, generosity and friendliness.

These last three years have wearied me like no other. The pollution of the world, both material and spiritual has taken a very heavy toll.

But, for all of that, for all my doubts as to whether or not I could still be happy in America, the land of the free (though not lately) still occupies my dreamscapes of choice. I can't escape the connection; it's very deep. My psychic - if not familial - roots there go deep, somehow.

Also, the US is still the country that gave us Abe Lincoln, Martin Luther King, JFK, Ernest Hemingway, T. S. Eliot (no, he wasn't English), Emily Dickinson, Lorraine Hansbury, Langston Hughes, Sylvia Plath, William Faulkner, Norman Mailer, not to mention a host of scientists, philosophers, athletes, artists and inventors too numerous to name. And the resonance of that pioneering, revolutionary, visionary spirit in every aspect of civic life is still there, waiting to resurface.

Yes, there has been the (massive) falling short of my dream of America. And I see, from my Cypriot perspective, much more clearly the governmental incompetence, the staggering levels of poverty, the lack of health care for the vast majority unable to afford insurance, the educational failure and the collective paranoia toward The Other (eg. illegal immigrants).

And yes, I realise these occur everywhere, but I hadn't really seen these elements in the States the way I do now. Now that I am far away.

I still dream of America as I once hoped it to be: a beacon of justice, generosity and personal freedom, the latter not gained at the expense of collective responsibility, maturity and innovation.

May I live in that America, some day.

The Not-So-Small Voice of Silence (Or How One Actor Got Green in L.A.)

2008-01-13T18:18:00.000+02:00

Hope y'all have pardoned me the flights of whimsy over the last few days. There are times when doom and gloom must take a momentary backseat to creativity and my metaphysical pursuits. But today, I'm back in my eco-saddle and want to introduce American actor/eco-activist Ed Begley Jr., who has been an enthusiastic proponent of a green lifestyle since the '70s - which is some feat considering he was, and is still living in, not-always-environmentally-conscious Los Angeles (a shout out here to Baskingshark since the City of Angels is his favourite place to be).

DIGRESSION: As an aspiring film director myself, Hollywood film production - of which L.A. is the heart - is incredibly, incredibly environmentally unfriendly a process, given the need to make expensive projects made in as little time as possible. When I was studying at Columbia's graduate film programme in NYC, one of the things said early on in a producing class that has always stayed with me is that the three key factors in filmmaking are speed of production, keeping costs low, and scope of production (production value). You can have any two, but not all three. Usually, Hollywood features are willing to boost speed of shooting (to capture those key Box Office niches and release slots) and production value, at the (literal) expense of budget. Alas, the money funnelled into such productions goes into making the picture pretty not environmentally friendly. I shudder to think at the sheer VOLUME of bottled water feature film crews go through (and then toss away) with every project.

But to get back to my original topic, one of my fave faith-based sites, beliefnet.com has an interview with Begley Jr. and his green ways, which also, interestingly enough, allows insight into his more spiritual views of living lightly on the planet, too.

Here are the first few paragraphs:

"Maybe you remember him from the 80's TV show St. Elsewhere, but chances are Ed Begley Jr.'s floppy California charm has infiltrated your consciousness as "that environmentalist actor guy." He's no greeny-come-lately. Begley started driving an electric car in the 1970s and was using solar power long before it was vaguely chic, much less tax deductible.

"Now he's espousing the green way through a reality show on HGTV, "Living with Ed." In its second season, it follows his struggles with his less stringently eco wife Rachelle over things like a gigantic red rain barrel. He puts up solar Christmas lights, "audits" his celebrity friends' homes for their green factor, and rides a bike to power his toaster. And now he's spreading the message further with a book out in February 2008, "Living Like Ed: A Guide to the Eco-Friendly Life."

"Begley recently chatted with Beliefnet from his Los Angeles home about the importance of silence, not rushing into tranquility, and how we can all be gentler on the earth without roughing up our wallets."

You can read the rest of the fascinating interview: here.

While we're on the subject of green living, I have been looking around at new green sites to add my (ever-growing) list of worthy links, and I came upon this one

To whit, a site focusing on the environment of Cyprus and beyond - very exciting to stumble on for an oft-frustrated inhabitant of this beautiful island, whose natural resources are taken for granted by most of us who live here.

The link above takes you to, "The 10 Environmental Commandments", which site author Brian Ellis introduces in the following way:

"These 10 Commandments are tips to save you money, as well as to help protect the environment. Each Cypriot, man woman and child, produces on an average over 10 tonnes of carbon dioxide from fossil fuels each year. This is the main greenhouse gas, responsible for climate change or global warming. This is about 40 to 50 per cent more than many western European countries and is a blot on our nation’s escutcheon. By following these ten simple commandments, we can make a significant dent in this hefty amount of pollution. At the same time, our air would be healthier to breathe and, above all, we can save a lot of money, both individually and collectively."

Needless to say, I'll be returning to the "Cyprus: The Environment" site frequently to check for updates on eco-happenings round the island.

Mastery, Transformation and Changing the Dream

2008-01-12T21:38:00.000+02:00

"Everything is a dream and only the dream exists. To explain ourselves and the world, we like to make divisions. The two main divisions are the dream and the dreamer. The dreamer dreams, yet the dream is there even without the dreamer because many other dreamers are maintaining it.

"We adapt to the same frequency as the dream of the planet. The dream guides the dreamer, not the other way around. We are what we believe we are, but our position in the dream changes as our awareness changes. We become aware of how we dream and of our position in it. Once we are aware that everything is a dream, we become aware that the dream is a nightmare.

"With Mastery of Transformation we can change the whole dream. It must happen at the personal level. Only by transforming ourselves, one person at a time, will the whole dream eventually be changed.

"In history, we see that human beings have always searched for eternal happiness. We seek a state of grace or a state of bliss in heaven or Nirvana or Olympus. With the kind of dream that dominates this planet, it seems impossible to reach our goal of happiness. The Toltecs knew how difficult it is to be happy. They explored how to change the dream and they discovered the first two masteries: The first is awareness and the second is personal transformation.

-----------------------------------

"The way to control the dream when we are awake is by making choices. Throughout the universe there is a process of action and reaction. The dream reacts to our choices."

From Beyond Fear: A Toltec Guide to Freedom and Joy - The Teachings of Don Miguel Ruiz by Mary Carroll Nelson and Don Miguel Ruiz

Adieu!

2008-01-12T01:44:00.000+02:00

Goodbye, cruel, vain and unappreciative world!

Here, in my mortal hand, wield I, Aloysius of the House of Dav, my goodly six-iron - gifted, incidentally, to me, by the Baron de Rothschild in a moment of caprice, and with which I intend to offer my corporeal self on the altar of the unflinching gods.

True, the celestial ones blessed me profoundly: looks, wit, fashion sense and good hair - all of these were mine. Yet what of that? All is meaningless in light of humanity's indifference!

No amount of talent could make up for the fact that I remain unlauded, undiscovered. I suppose I should have applied myself more, taken more intiative. But all of that is so plebeian, so unbearably vulgar! Far better this than any such concession to mundanity.

But ah, how this has cost me. And I don't just mean in terms of drycleaning my Dolce e Gabbana jeans. Nor my Savile Row three-piecers.

No, I speak of the wrenching cost in terms of self regard, self love - amour-propre, which relies, alas, on the estimation of others.

When one is unloved, uncared for, unnoticed and, oh - cruelest of all! - unworshipped, one may as well shuffle off this mortal coil. And that right quickly.

Speak not to me of gratitude. What know you of self pity, gentles?

'Tis true, I graced the finest schools, mingled with the finest minds and ate at the finest tables.

'Tis true, I led a life of ease and plenty with little to show for it after all these years.

Every manner of opportunity might have been mine had I but tried a little more diligently to make my mark. Been just that smidgen more - dare I say - industrious. Bold. Not to mention, just a fraction less entitled.

Had I had a little more humility, a willingness to - as Americans like to put it - suck it up.

But the die is cast, the fates have decided and the oracle has spoken. Aloysius must perish, for he cannot lower himself to labor like the hoi polloi, merely to earn the respect and praise he craves.

In the words of the gracious Puck: "I go, I go; look how I go/ Swifter than arrow from the Tartar's bow."

(Act III, scene ii)

Adieu!

Pan's Labyrinth Revisited - Plutonian Goat and The End of Innocence

2008-01-11T00:33:00.000+02:00

It's true that Guillermo del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth (or El Laberinto del Fauno) has now been out for a bit (released on my beloved one's 26th birthday - October 11, 2006), but it suddenly struck me how well the central mythical creature - Pan (or 'the faun' if you're sticking to the Spanish) - hinted at the Pluto in Capricorn ingress later this month.

Goatish Pan (Capricorn), in this film, is a creature of darkest (Pluto) fantasy, and while he reveals himself to the young heroine, Ofelia, from the depths of a crumbling well in a bid to help her 'reclaim' her kingdom as a fairy queen, he bars her access (Saturn - ruler of Capricorn) until she has successfully passed three arduous tests.

Named for the drowned, mad-driven lover of Hamlet, I associated Ofelia with the sacrificing, emotional, mystical element of water. While Pan, to me, was a creature of deepest, darkest earth.

Having come out of the highly confusing, chaotic frustration of the recent Saturn-Neptune opposition, it was interesting to think of this dynamic mirrored in the movie. Pan and his call for Ofelia to return to her kingdom as its rightful queen (the past, monarchs, Capricorn, Saturn) both challenged the depths of Ofelia's imagination and fantasy (Neptune) and demanded sacrifices (Neptune) of her in the brutal 'real' world of general Francisco Franco's fascist Spain.

But more overtly, Pan's mission for Ofelia - to reclaim her kingdom through ordeals, facing even death - seems to me to have been a remarkable metaphor for our imminent plunge into a Capricornian Underworld. Not to mention that the struggle between Franco-allied soldiers (Saturn) and Spanish rebels (Uranus) also could be deemed a prescient representation of the upcoming opposition between these two planets.

But why am I talking about a film that is a less-than-a-recent release (and, therefore, out of sight, out of mind)? Well, it just happened to come up in an intense conversation with a cousin of mine this afternoon, a conversation chiefly concerned with the impending paradigm shift in civilisation, the collapse of our current economic model for living and the dire threat posed to humanity's survival by global warming, earth changes and over-population.

The world of Pan's Labyrinth, like the one we, the audience, are living in, is a dangerous place. The threat of death and annihilation is all around. The environment is harsh and unwelcoming. The authorities and powers that be (Capricorn) brutally suppress (Pluto) democracy, civil rights and self-expression.

But even though the crises and horrors mount in the film, Ofelia eventually triumphs - albeit paying a heavy price.

So, it remains for us to confront our collective fears of extinction (in the film's instance, Ofelia's voluntary journey to the Underworld), resist attempts by the powers that be to strip of us of our freedoms and accept the possibility of a sacred, new world that is both terrifying and magnificent.

In this way, we can work with the Plutonian and Capricornian energies to willingly die to our old way of life, and emerge (become resurrected) into the new.

4 a.m. tomorrow. today.

2008-01-09T23:01:00.000+02:00

1.
this is impossible below the
scoured whites float all manner
of dusty devas from the corners

why is it still so hard to
forget what I cannot

subtract the winter printed under each
raw look-ball. Sleep has moved away. I
wait in vain in its old antechamber

I try to do what is expected, try to

never forget your past

2.
You a r e the same.

Short and dark like
the others, pipped by the same hypodermic
memo r ie s

shared by every tribemember:

the grey croco d ile of death

marches
the desert deaths the screams the burning
priests. You cannot shed any of it.

And not the same. You are things no
clansman ever owns or recognizes.
Infertile, refusing destiny of flesh
the shut door
dreaming your second coming
you are abnormal aberration anathema

you are forbidden but rem em ber

3.
What you could be

"Every other generation is ungrateful. Spits
out old-world heritage refuses to cooperate
neglects the flame. How dare you have a private

grief? You are not yours you are 1.5 million
voices you are lost lakes and territories you
are sung-chanted psalms in the familiar the
obscure church tongue
you are musk incense the heavy women
nose-heavy men the 38 letters of an alphabet
seen mostly by a saint on a wall in a vision.

Do not forget the language of your ancestors,
their history, their (your) pain

4.
In the whited desert of no-sleep, the buzzing dunes
beyond the window-maw, the black gape,
reconcile yourself to being who you

are not who they say

only
who you

I know I am who
I am not s/he I am not you

do not forget

New Hampshire and Spiritual Politics

2008-01-08T22:56:00.000+02:00

Since the world is agog with the upcoming results of the New Hampshire caucus in the US presidential race, after the recent surprise triumph of Barack Obama and Mike Huckabee, I'm posting a highly interesting analysis of what the results of the second key caucus might mean on a spiritual level.

Below is an excerpt from the beliefnet.com blog of Neale Donald Walsch, one of today's most interesting and gifted New Age authors, and responsible for the bestselling Conversations With God series.

Arguing that politics is a demonstration of spirituality (a view that, I, personally, agree with, irrespective of where we group ourselves formally in terms of faith/religion), Walsch writes:

"Did faith play any role in the Iowa results? I think it is obvious that it did. Surely on the GOP side there is no question that Mike Huckabee's pedigree as a Baptist minister helped him tremendously. Whether that will count as much in New Hampshire will be the Big Question tomorrow. Likewise, if there really is some hesitation among the electorate about putting a Mormon in the White House (there should not be, and I would hope with all my might that we would never go to that place any more in America), there are analysts who say that this would be more likely to show up in Iowa -- a religiously conservative state -- than in New Hampshire...a neighbor of the state where Romney was elected governor.

"On the Democratic side, some fascinating stuff in play. Exit polls showed that while Clinton garnered the majority of votes from woman caucus goers over age 60, those under 60 voted overwhelmingly for Obama. This means that Obama captured the youth vote...and if he can do that across America, the Democratic nomination is his -- presuming he can get young people to actually go to the polls.

"That is not a small question. Young people are notoriously more apathetic than senior citizens when it comes to voting -- and perhaps for good reason. They have felt, in most recent years, disaffected and disenfranchised, with their views largely marginalized. Until now. They may be seeing Barack Obama as their Voice within The System. And wouldn't that be interesting...

"Is America ready -- at last -- to elect a black person President of the United States? I think it would be historically, socially, and politically beyond exciting. So, too, if we elected a Mormon. Or a woman. Or an Hispanic. Or an openly gay person.

"This is just such an historic primary season, because we have all of those kinds of candidates running for President -- and that says something remarkable about the place to which we have matured as an electorate. If politics is our spirituality demonstrated, we must have come to adopt a wonderfully inclusive spirituality in America. And I am not surprised. Tomorrow's God predicts flat out that we will create within the next 25 to 30 years an entirely new God -- that is, a new kind of God, a new understanding of the only God there ever was, is now, or ever will be."

You can read the rest of his fascinating post here.

The Capricorn New Moon and Manifestation

2008-01-08T21:58:00.001+02:00

The Sun and Moon are now conjunct in Capricorn, the sign of manifestation.

This means we have a two-to-three-day window during this commencement of the new lunar cycle to send forth into the universe our highest aspirations, desires and hopes - not just for ourselves, but for our loved ones and all that lives - all creation in other words, since creation is very much Saturn-ruled Capricorn's realm (though it helps if Neptune's involved, too).

With the powerful Capricorn energy dominating over the next day or so, we are given a particularly potent window of opportunity to channel our intentions for new projects outward and give thanks for what we already enjoy and what we are yet to receive.

This evening, I reminded myself of my most positive aspirations, since I so often struggle with the lowest vibrations of anxiety, depression, fear and negativity. I gave myself licence to remember what I hoped for for myself - to remember, in other words, my highest self.

I looked into my heart and saw a mighty being of light - a light far greater than the terrors that usually threaten to overwhelm it.

I saw creativity, joy and daring. I saw a gratitude mighty as the sun, reaching forth with every action to embrace life and to send out love and healing.

I imagined a consciousness pure of every kind of bias, prejudice and limitation. Of limitless generosity and grace.

No longer a slave to pessimissm, fear and shame, anxiety, insecurity and timidity, I invited my grandest, strongest, wisest, most compassionate self to me.

May the beginning of the new lunar month make us all agents of our highest aspirations, to serve and to love others, regardless of reward, and to help each other manifest our dreams.

Light, love and peace to all.

Fears for Every Taste and Inclination (Plus a Soupçon of Hope)

2008-01-07T18:03:00.001+02:00

Here are two really interesting articles on environment-related issues. To make you shake in your boots (but I promise the more timorous of you I end on a good note).

You may ask me why I do this, post stuff that scares the living bejesus out of me. Well, I've always been of the opinion that fears have to be confronted, if only to be overcome. And let me tell you, being a Sun-Jupiter combo in Pisces, squared by Neptune, I tend to live - or "choose to experience" as the latest shrink rightly pointed out today - some of the biggest, juiciest, slaver-fanged nightmares of them all.

Firstly, an excellent article on the cost of China's economic growth from the boys and gals down at Mother Jones, which y'all can read here: www.motherjones.com/news/feature/2008/01/the-last-empire.html

My thanks to Lynn Hayes of the Astrodynamics blog (http://astrodynamics.blogspot.com/index.html) for alerting me to the article.

And if that doesn't give you night sweats, how about the following for yer readin' plesh? I came across it from the terrific WorldChanging site (which if you haven't checked out, you simply must) : http://www.wsws.org/articles/2000/oct2000/poll-o06.shtml

That's fair, right? In the interests of balance, we mustn't forget the US when making a little list of uber-polluters.

DIGRESSION: At some point, I'll post some articles from the Cyprus Mail website, too, to bring in my own, humble island's contribution to this area.

But I promised you a slightly more upbeat ending to this post. So, here's an Agence France Presse piece regarding Beijing's decision to get hard data on the actual scale of environmental damage done to China in the course of economic growth trumping eco-respect: http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5h6tJL7WXplzyQEqzZPxh-u4B0wgQ

Gathering hard data is a positive sign. It means the powers that be in this fast-developing nation are seeing the writing on the wall.

Also, for those of you versed in astrologese, Lynn Hayes had this to say:

"Remember that Pluto [planet associated in astrology with death and resurrection] rules over breakdown and destruction, followed by transformation. The elevation of Ceres to planet status has coincided with the eruption into mass consciousness of an acceptance (finally!!) of the need to protect the planet's resources. Capricorn is concerned with matters of business, factories, governments, anywhere things are made and commerce is conducted. The emergence of China as a world power, without the democracy that helps to put safeguards in place, is likely to be the focal point of the Pluto in Capricorn period. Already we are seeing the emergence of a deadly "people's revolution" to protest the devastation of the environment there that is likely to come to a head with the upcoming square of Uranus in Aries to Pluto in Capricorn."

Amen to that, say I. The sooner ordinary people join forces (and they are, amigo) to take their children's future security into their hands - since our slothful governments worldwide will ever drag their feet - the better.